Chapter Text
Jerry wasn't the only one in the building with an apartment, a fact made painfully clear when Newman strutted down the hall with his nose in the air, arm-in-arm with a very small man. The guy couldn’t have been more than 5'4", dressed in soft pastels, and Jerry recognized him immediately—Elaine's boyfriend.
"Who's that?" Jerry asked, though he pointed more accusingly at Newman.
"Someone who appreciates me, Jerry," Newman said, choosing—very deliberately—to misunderstand.
"Does Elaine know about this?" Jerry sputtered, already imagining the cheating scandal.
The small man sighed. “We go on triple dates all the time. Elaine’s not dating Newman. I’m dating both. Try to keep up.” He rolled his eyes. “We all consent. It’s fine.”
“You’re…polygamous?” Jerry asked.
“Polyamorous,” the man—Zach—corrected with a nod.
“How come I didn’t know about this? I could’ve had—twenty girls by now!”
“As if any would want you,” Zach said flatly. Newman’s grin widened like a man watching his enemies perish.
“Why are you so snarky all of a sudden? Does Elaine calm you down?” Jerry asked, wounded.
“She’s just good at talking sweet. You believe her when she says I ‘don’t mean it that way.’” Another eye roll. “Anyway, we’ve gotta go. He’s taking me on his mail route.”
“What are you, a dog now?”
“Yes. Bye.”