Chapter Text
"I know you have no taste. But you'll like the castle ruins. They are supposed to be super cute and haunted and I bet there's old swords and stuff for your stupid tastes," Perona said, twirling in her many skirts in front of the fireplace at the inn with a dreamy smile.
Like relocating to Mihawk's mountain retreat wasn't enough of a pain. 'You need more distance from the world for your training,' he'd said. 'Wandering off to brawl with lowlives will yield no results.'
Sometimes Zoro wondered if Mihawk was full of shit when it came to stuff other than swords. Surely a renowned master could do better for him than repetitive drills and orders to 'detach from his ego and the result', whatever the hell that meant.
"Don't sulk when I'm talking to you!" She shrieked, and Zoro rolled his eyes.
"I'm not interested in your crumbling stones," he said and got up to do some drills on his own in the sparse back yard. At least at the mountain residence there would be proper training grounds, hopefully.
The cold was bracing, snow and frost having united to force their journey to a stop in what amounted to no man's land. Between that and his repetitions his mind turned empty soon enough and it was quite dark before he retired to his room.
Morning came with undue enthusiasm and his door banging open to a Perona who was even more agitated than usual. "I lost my Kuma Doll at the castle!" She decreed like Zoro was supposed to not only care but ride to the rescue for the stitched together abomination.
"Can't you make a new one? Isn't that like, your whole profession?" He asked and regretted it at once when Perona's lower lip started quivering and fat tears gathered in her eyes.
He knew it was a show. He did absolutely not succumb to it when he got dressed, grabbed his swords and set out with her. She was way too attached to that stupid doll to be so agitated, or to have them out in freezing weather that only seemed to be getting worse, rambling on about spiders and bugs and a not at all cute candle stick? Whatever, they were getting the doll and getting out.
They were walking for no longer than an hour when the snowfall worsened so much that Zoro couldn't see a thing -or Perona.
All this for her stupid doll he thought, trudging through the biting wind, utterly unable to find her anywhere or even see where he had come from or where he was going.
All this obsessession with her creepy dolls and spooky castles and where had it gotten her? Lost. That's where. Lost in fucking freezing weather and Zoro doomed to look for her frilly ass as the sky was darkening.
That stupid castle was probably boring anyway. It wasn't like ghosts were real, and if they were they probably couldn't hold a sword to duel.
Knowing Perona she probably expected some ghostly prince or some shit too.
Ridiculous.
When Zoro found his way back and warmed up some he was going to tell her to go to hell next time she lost her stuff.
And he was going to find his way back, even if his limbs were starting to feel heavy and it was getting impossible to see.
There were some lights in the distance at least. The cold was no match for him after all and step after step was all it took until finally a building emerged.
Larger than Zoro had expected but with lights shining behind some of the windows like whisps, interrupting the sleek black stone.
Stupid Perona would love it, was the last thing he thought before his legs buckled without his consent and his knees hit the cold cobble stones.
The world was blurry after that, first cold, then hot and then something hard and unyielding grabbed onto him, creaking and cracking like old wood as he was more dragged than carried.
There were voices too, even if they didn't talk sense.
"This isn't another girl!" A females voice hissed. "Oooh when I get my hands on that little witch! I should have known. That's it. I'll set her precious bear doll on fire!"
"Nami, calm down," a nervous male voice said. "He looks like muscle right? Maybe he's an escort, there is a snowstorm going on."
"Ugh, how are you so naive," she said again.
"Yohoho, don't fight now, and in front of company! We do get visitors so seldom! And who knows-"
All of this didn't make much sense to Zoro but he could feel that his surroundings were warmer now, tinted with the scent of drying flowers. Safe for the moment and so he let go of what was left of his conciousness.
***
Zoro came to in a dimly lit room, the warmth surrounding him both pleasant and strange.
Maybe it was a dream. Or at least it better be with a coat rack unnaturally twisted over his form and looking at him through hollow wooden eyes.
"Marvelous, yoho, you are awake," a voice said. A voice coming from the rack.
Weird dream. Where were his swords?
"He's sure taking this well," the girl's voice said and as Zoro looked around found that it came from a candlestick, bright orange flames flaring and falling around it unnaturally.
"What the hell kinda dream is this," Zoro muttered and as he sat up more properly the rack retreated, still looking at him with those hollow eyes.
"Ah, you must be confused. But we do welcome you to the Vinsmoke estate."
"The what now?" Zoro asked. "Whatever, have you seen my swords?"
"Great, he's looking for his weapons," the candle said.
"But he is very calm, that's gotta be good?" The male timid voice from earlier said. It came from a clock, Zoro now realised.
Zoro never knew that being really cold could cause weird ass dreams like this.
"You can have your murder instruments, once you tell us what we need to know. Is there, or is there not a girl on the way?" The candle asked, the flame cracking like the rather irritating snap of fingers.
"It seems to me our guest has not quite grasped the reality of the situation," a deep woman's voice said. It seemed to come from more than one place and since this was a weird dream Zoro probably wasn't imagining the floral decorations shifting and coalescing along the walls.The dream was weird but not any weirder than one of Perona's moods so Zoro swung his feet out of the bed under protests from the Candle. "What are you doing", she yelled. "You almost froze your toes off earlier you big- ugh, Robin, stop him!"
The dried flowers were called Robin apparently and continued their coalescing until they formed the shape of a woman, right over the stupidly ornate door.
"I believe we have a bit of a misunderstanding on our hands dear swordsman. This is not a dream," the flowers said and Zoro scoffed.
"Sure it's not, so when I find my swords I'm sure I'm not gonna wake up. Now move."
The shape seemed to move in the motion of an inclined head. "I'm afraid you will have to explain your reasoning."
"I want my swords. When I have them I'll wake up."
The candle and clock groaned behind him.
"God's sake he's like Luffy! I can't take this anymore!"
Before Zoro could rightly react the candle had bounded up to him over a coffee table and bumped up against his hand.
The pain was sharp and blistering.
More importantly it was real.
As real as the burnmark scorching his little finger.
"What the hell kind of place is this!" He asked, looking at the animate objects surrounding him.
"You are at the Vinsmoke estate," the rack clarified in a melodious voice.
"The cursed Vinsmoke estate," the clock added.
Zoro swung around back to the door. "Cursed? This is one of Perona's elaborate bullshit parties, isn't it?"
"We can assure you it is nothing of the sort. Although I do believe this Perona is a mutual acquaintance." The flowers said.
"She owes us a girl for one," the candle grouched, her flames flaring out.
What the hell, Zoro thought and dropped into a seat that the rack had helpfully placed behind him.
"She didn't tell you, I take it. I am so going to set her doll on fire," the candle stick said.
"Now, Nami," the clock said, the hands on his face rotating in a quick tic toc motion. "She said she'd try and it's very short notice and ah- the flames are hooot!" He said, stumbling back a little. "I'm made of wood, you know!"
"What do you want a girl for?" Zoro finally asked, remembering some of Perona's ranting. This was the not at all cute candle stick then.
"Well you see-"
Before the clock could finish there was a sound like the rumble of pipes and the flowers at the door suddenly dispersed.
Everyone fell earily quiet and stayed that way as the doorknob turned slowly. The door fell open to the sight of a young man, dark haired with tired eyes and a pale complexion. "What in the world is all this noise?" He asked, even though he looked barely interested in the answer.The silence stretched for a few moments before the clock laughed nervously.
"Sanji, hellooo, remember how we mentioned we might have guests soon. Well, not quite the expected guests but I guess, here he is. A guest."
The man -Sanji- leveled an unimpressed look at him, then shrugged. "So be it." He said and made to turn around but Zoro was faster.
"I lost my fri-sis- ugh I lost someone in the storm I have to le-"
Before he could grab onto the man's sleeve he his stomach suddenly seized with pain. Then his back hit the bed frame.
When he looked up, dumbfounded, Sanji still had his leg raised for attack and only slowly lowered it.
He looked godly in the shadows, blue eye glistening
"You are not to touch me. Other than that, stay, leave, it matters little to me. Even though I doubt you will find anyone out there," he said and when Zoro looked out of the window, still dazed, all he saw was a flurry of white.
Zoro's head snapped around when he heard steps leave and the man was gone, the candle on his heels. "Sanji, we're running out of time!" She hissed.
"I know, my dear" he said without any urgency, or indeed affection.
Zoro stared after him, his heart pounding at the display of strength from the lithe frame.
Frills hiding steel, damn.
"As we were saying," the flowers said like Zoro hadn't just seen a pissy dark haired revelation, "this estate used to belong to the Vinsmoke family and was the center of the minor kingdom of Germa. Until not quite 20 years ago, when calamity befell the whole of the realm and all that were in it from the orchards in the west to the coast in the east. The towns are frozen in time to this day and those of us that were in the castle... I think you can see for yourself the state we have been in while the world outside seems to have forgotten us.
"So what, some witch blew through town and turned you all into talking furniture?" Zoro scoffed, this whole concept was ridiculous.
"It's a bit more complicated than that," the clock said. "But we are bound by the curse to not reveal too much."
"And you need a girl to what? Kiss of true love your way out of this?" Zoro asked and huffed a laugh at the guilty silence.
"That is the idea is it not?" The coat rack said. "But where are our manners, please do call me Brook," he said and bowed, creaking wood and all. "On account of the weather I imagine you will be our guest, yes?
Zoro huffed and looked outside again. Still white as far as he could see.
"I'm Usopp and the head of flames is Nami," ths clock said.
The flowers coalesced back into the female form rustling earily as they did. "And I, dear guest, am Robin."
"Who's the sad sack with the mule kick?" Zoro asked, after another minute of digesting his predicament.
"That would be your host, Sanji, third son of the house of Vinsmoke," Robin said with the cadence of a funeral announcement.
"Name's Zoro," Zoro said. "Where's my fucking swords then."
Somehow Zoro felt like they exchanged looks.
"You're not gonna start slicing, right?" Usopp asked.
"Why'd I do that?" Zoro said.
The clock laughed nervously. "No reason, certainly not that you kind of look like you like to use your swords."
"I do, but only for a worthwhile fight."
"Good, great, fantastic," Usopp said, his clockhands whirring wildly.
"Please, follow me," Robin said and the flowers started crawling along the wall and outside the door.With nothing much better to do Zoro did follow, the other two trailing after them through the halls.
Here and there Zoro thought he could see a tapestry move in a way it shouldn't or movement from the corner of his eye. "Is everything in here alive?" Zoro asked.
"Oh no not at all," Brook said. "There was a celebration on the evening of the curse, but most all the attendants were in town at the time," Brook said, sounding sad. "Among them my crew of musicians."
"In all there were about two dozen people still in the castle when the curse came into effect," Robin said.
"Apart from us a number of servants and visitors were still here.
And the Family of the house."
"What happened to the rest of them?" Zoro asked as he observed the ornate walls, intricately painted wallpapers and tapestries, many of them ornate in a way Mihawk would describe as tacky displays of more wealth than taste.
"That, we cannot tell," Rpbin said but stopped at another door, made from metal. "We have kept your swords safe with another friend," she said and when Zoro opened the door it opened to a large oven, connected to a number of pipes.
"Hello, brother, name's Franky" the oven said and once more Zoro felt like he was in a weird dream. But when one of the pipes extended and shook his swords into his arms he didn't question it. Neither did he question Robin gliding all the way inside and briefly wrapping around one of the pipes. "Awesome swords you got, great craftmanship," Franky the oven said. "If you need water I'm your guy."
"Thanks," Zoro said, slowly and looked his blades over. All seemed to be in order and he placed them back at his hip.
"And perhaps you should see our resident medic as well, he'll be happy to hear that our efforts for you not to perish from exposure were successful," Robin said, the flowers rustling cheerfully where she was still draped and only slowly disentangled herself.
"Nothing better to do," Zoro said and followed the flowers once more.
They ended up in a library where a stuffed toy was reading in a tome. The thing looked something between a reindeer and a tanuki and as they approached raised its fuzzy head.
"Doctor Chopper," Robin said gently. "Please meet our guest, Zoro, who fortunately got to keep all his toes."
"Oh good!" The ridiculously cute thing said, hopped to it's feet and toddled over to Zoro. "Please let me have another look at you."
Now Zoro hated doctors with something of a fierce passion.
And yet it was impossible to be afraid of this doctor.
And so he was poked and prodded by soft extremities, the burn on his hand was bandaged and before long he was declared cleared to go do whatever else. He decided to take up the offer before he did something reputation destroying, not to mention rude and grabbed the cuddly doctor for a quick snuggle. Perona's dolls were never this cute.
His rumbling stomach suggested kitchen next and Robin lead him there willingly enough, Usopp still at his side while Brook stayed in the library. The hook at the end of his arms tinkering with the piano almost but not quite like fingers would, while a gaggle of fine china cups gathered around, giggling in children's voices.
The room was expansive and one of the hearths looked well used. In fact a simple dinner stood at the ready. It was stew, nothing special and when Zoro tried it it was good in a bland sort of way, like all the timing and amounts were right but the cook had not tasted the food.
Usopp sighed as Zoro ate. "Man I miss Sanji's food," he said and Zoro didn't contradict him. He finished every bite and rinsed the bowl then trailed out of the kitchen again.
Outside the snow still seemed to be raging and inside there wasn't much to do. "Is there a training ground indoors or something?" He asked.
"Yes, in fact, however it is in the private wing, where hardly anyone is allowed," Robin said.
Zoro looked around trying to orient in the labyrinthine halls. "And who is not allowing it? The mopey guy?"
"Among other considerations," Robin said mildly. "I would suggest steering clear. Perhaps you would like to rest some more? It has been a trying day."
"Nah" Zoro said and resolutely walked down the hallway.
They had been warned on their way to Mihawk's mountain residence that these parts could get snowed in for days at a time and like hell was Zoro going to forego training because of a private wing.
He wandered through the maze like halls for a while, with only the banging of pipes and rustling of flowers and tapestries for company until finally he saw a hint of a door behind one of the sets of heavy black velvet curtains. He pushed it open into another hallway that was also like a maze but at least somewhat shorter with fewer doors.
He tested the first few with little yield but the sound of scurrying. They were just bedrooms with various colourful furnishings, as ridiculous as the ones in Mihawk's castle.
Finally he found something a bit more promising ahead, something that looked like a private dining room.
That in itself was not very interesting, but one of the two rooms shooting off seemed to lead down - when had he ever gone up? - and training grounds were more likely to be downstairs.
"And what are you doing in my private rooms now?" A bored voice said behind him.
Zoro did not startle but when he turned it was his host, still as black haired, pale and slender.
Still as tired too, with a plate of fruits and cheeses in one hand and now four rats gathering at his feet.
He breezed past Zoro without waiting for an answer, setting down the plate and four individual small sets where he spread the food.
For the rats.
Weird ass castle, Zoro thought, doubly so when he could swear one of the rats was glaring at him out of all too human eyes.
"Ladies never just barge in here uninvited," his host said, the reproach toneless.
"Bored. Was told there would be training grounds."
Zoro tore his eyes away from the strangely mannerly way the rats were eating to turn back to the man - Sanji- who was still looking at him impassively.
Only now Zoro noticed that one of his eyebrows curved strangely.
"So where are the training grounds, Curls," he asked. "And while we're at it, that was a good kick earlier. You up for a bit of excericise?"
"Curls?" Curls asked and picked up a strand of his own inky hair, examining the broad waves it fell in.
"The eyebrow," Zoro said and made a spiral movement over his own.
That got him another one of those impassive looks, and maybe Zoro was imagining it but there was a glint of something in his eye.
"Not only are you not a lovely lady, you are also an idiot," he said, lacking any heat. "But if you want to be beaten again I can arrange that."
He turned on his heel and moved towards the stairs, Zoro on his heels close enough to notice the floral scent wafting off him and his stupid hair.
They arrived in a nice little training area down the hall. Weights for lifting, dummies for slashing and a decently large floor for sparring.
That was this stupid snowstorm saved for Zoro at least.
His opponent didn't make a lot of bones of going in for an attack, kicking fast and hard and dancing back when Zoro attempted a relation.
Already he could feel his blood pound with the hunt. Maybe he could even pull his swords on this opponent.
They chased each other over the floor some, kicking, punching, grappling.
It wasn't like Zoro wasn't landing any hits but strangely it felt like pounding iron and the stony constipated expression on his opponent's face spoke to him still being bored.
Well fuck that. Zoro redoubled and in a moment of onslaught and luck he toppled Sanji to the ground, pinning him with a roar of success.
His opponent was panting at least, even if he still looked unaffected by the bruises Zoro must have left.
He looked more handsome like this, on the ground, hair spread out like a dark halo.
Noticing was Zoro's mistake. In a split second of inattention there was a knee in his gut and then he was thrown off and the dark halo became a dark curtain when Zoro was the pinned one, held to the ground by suprisingly strong hands and those blue eyes boring into his along with a knee on his chest like he was trying to pry some hidden truth from Zoro's Body.
Then there was pressure, pressure as he pushed with his knee, hard and relentless, holding Zoro's legs down with his free one. Zoro couldn't breathe or move, arrested by dull blue eyes and a powerful grip, the pain growing relentlessly even as he tried to fight back.
Frills hiding steel and an unacceptable way to die.
A squeak stopped Sanji's onslaught and when Zoro looked there was the rat from earlier, glaring again.
Whatever that meant, Sanji let up and air rushed back into Zoro's lungs along with an ache along his sternum and ribs.
Here was this pretty guy and almost snuffed the life out of him.
Zoro swallowed, all too aware of how he was looking too intently again.
"Good spar," he said through a cough and Curls looked at him, head cocked.
"Good spar," he agreed easily as he knelt down and offered his hand to the rat who only briefly detoured to bite Zoro's hand before scurrying up Sanji's arm to his shoulder.
"Ow, damn. That pet of yours better not have poisoned me," Zoro said, rubbing his thumb.
"Not my pet," he said but stroked the rats head. "And not as venomous as she once was.
But be that as it may, I am told I should treat you as a guest. So be a good guest and entertain yourself on your own, away from my private things. Have a bath and some sleep and then be on your way once this snow lets up."
Well, if nothing else Zoro could use the room to the fullest, left to his own devices with a bruising pain right over his heart.
He emerged a few hours later, sweaty and satisfied if still bruised. It took a few tries to find the dining hall again, and after attempting a locked door first he was back in the corridor with the living objects not at all conspicuously hanging around.
"What?" Zoro asked.
"I guess at least he didn't kill you," Nami muttered from her place on a table.
"Oh he tried," Zoro said, leaving out that he could have succeeded.
"He what?" Usopp asked, voice pitching high and cuckoo birds springing out of his top. "That was a joke. He usually doesn't- what did you do?"
"Nothin'," Zoro said. "We sparred."
They exchanged looks again, Zoro could tell.
"Not here," Robin said and led the way in a rustle of leaves accompanied with the creaking of pipes after Nami whispered something into a grate.
Zoro was getting tired of being herded around but when he was led back to his room and a bottle of wine was waiting he didn't have cause to complain.
"Thank you Vivi," Nami said, suddenly much sweeter, as she spoke to an ornate metal lantern inlaid with a mosiac of colourful glass that was tinting the whole of the room in rainbow colours. "And Brook too I guess," she added.
"Yoho, not at all, I may have arms, of a sort but I don't have this young ladies sophisticated taste."
"Oh do shush Brook," the lantern said before adressing Zoro who was in the process of uncorking the bottle with his teeth. "My name is Vivi and I hope you'll enjoy the wine."
"'S booze right?" Zoro said and set the cork aside before taking a swig. And pretty good booze at that. "How do you get this stuff, or the food too?" He asked.
"The pantry refills at midnight to the state it was when we were turned," Usopp supplied.
"And so does the wine cellar," Nami said. "Which is good because that vintage is so wasted on you."
Self stocking wine cellar, huh? Sweet. Maybe Zoro could get used to this place.
"Anyhow," Usopp said. "Sit down, have a drink and tell us. How in the hell did you get Sanji to engage?"
Zoro sat. "Dunno, I was looking for the training room and he was suddenly there to feed his rats or whatever. He kicks like a mule so I asked and he agreed."
There was another moment of silence.
"And he didn't like, go through the motions or anything? He really fought you?" Usopp asked, the hands on his clock face rotating quick and even.
He shrunk back under Zoro's scowl, clock hands drooping.
"What's with the weird questions."
"Sanji usually doesn't do anything outside of his routines," Nami said like that explained anything. She also said it like it pained her. "We can barely get him to react to us, or to visitors if we have them, you see how he is... going through the motions."
Zoro took another gulp of the wine. That made sense, kind of.
"But this is a rather interesting development," Robin said from the spot she now occupied on the boarded up window directly behind the sofa Zoro was sitting on.
"What do you say, dear swordsman, would you care for a late dinner?"
"Sure," Zoro said, then thought. Perona was fine, probably, if she had died she'd be haunting him by now. All the same he had to ask. "Do you know anything about the girl I was with? I lost her in the snow."
"We do have someone out looking for her. But I'm sure she is safe," Robin said mildly, "Yours is an odd case, normally these storms seem to lead people out of the territory from what we can tell and then we'd have no way of finding her. How did you find us?"
"Followed the lights," Zoro said and rolled his eyes when they silently exchanged looks again. "Where's that dinner then?"
Nami crackled her flames in his direction. "First you'll go have a wash and then there'll be dinner. Hopefully."
"Please, enjoy," Brook said and opened an adjacent door to a bathroom. "I would draw you a bath, but the water is bad for my wood, yoho," he said, tapping on of his slightly distorted legs against the ground.
Zoro had never been much for servants so drawing the bath himself suited him just fine. The pipes banged but the water was hot and fragrant courtesy of Franky the oven.
Luxurious ass weird castle.
Btook stayed, towels hung over his arms but Zoro didn't really care when he relaxed into the water.The heat soothed his sore muscles and the bruised spot on his chest.
"He really did injure you," Brook said into the silence.
"Sure did," Zoro said. "But I asked for a spar."
"Still, we must apologize for his behaviour. He is not quite himself, or so I am told," Brook said.
"So you didn't know him before all this?"
"Only as well as you know the son of the man who hired you as a musician," he said. "As I understand it he was not here by choice when this all happened," Brook continued.
Zoro leaned his head back against the rim of the tub.
This really was a weird story and a weird place.
Then again, he had been adopted by the man he was destined to kill in single combat, who might as well be a vampire. And his adoptive sister was a girl who would love nothing more than be a ghost princess, so who was Zoro to talk. The weirdest part of all this was Perona not immediately setting up as lady of the house, now that he thought about it.
"Nami and Usopp seem to know him," Zoro said.
"Ah, yes. Them, the good doctor and Captain Luffy," Brook said. "Hopefully he'll be back soon so you can meet him. He might be a bit more forthcoming as well, I do believe the state of our host troubles all of them greatly, but Luffy has a somewhat easier time to separate from the pain."
That Luffy sounded like a character. Zoro washed up quickly but when he looked around for his clothes they were gone and replaced with something much more stuffy and uncomfortable.
A single dried petal told him who'd placed the clothing there too.
No sense arguing with talking furniture he decided and when he slipped into the stuff it was exactly as stuffy and uncomfortable as it looked, so he shed the jacket again and cut off the frills from the collar of the shirt with a clean slice of Wadou.
She had always been best at precision work like this.
Feeling more like himself he wandered out into his room again. He expected to find the furniture plotting but instead ran into the stuffed toy doctor who looked at him with large shining eyes.
"Hello," he said. "Sanji hurt you?"
"Are all of you such mother hens?" Zoro scoffed "He bruised me up a little, I am fine. If I hadn't gotten distracted I would have won, too."
The toy cocked it's head but still scampered over. "Still, he can't really- he doesn't feel. He can't really control his strength, so if you would just let me check that you are alright?"
Zoro groaned but there was no saying no to those cute shiny eyes so he dropped into the armchair and let the doctor crawl over him to his bruised up chest.
A few hums and painful prods later Zoro was buttoned up again and the doctor satisfied.
"And what does that mean, he doesn't feel?" Zoro asked
"Just that," Chopper said and sniffled. "The curse makes it so he doesn't feel anything. I can't even examine him or give him a shot, cuz his skin is like iron. At least he can't really get sick either, but he's so-"
Somewhat helplessly Zoro petted the tophead on this strange creature's head. "So he wasn't always like this?"
Chopper laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound. "No, no he was not."
He sighed. "He was... kind, but loud. He liked to complain and yell. He also really liked the girls. Most of all whatever he did, he cared. So much. Too much, sometimes." Chopper said and Zoro thought about this pale stranger with the mule kick, who fed rats from individual plates and had left a bowl of stew for Zoro to enjoy.
"You think he doesn't care anymore?" He asked.
"Not like he used to," Chopper said. "It's like he's-"
"Going through the motions," Zoro said. "I'm starting to get that. And this girl you are looking for is supposed to make him care again, on account of him liking girls so much?"
Chopper nodded wide eyed, but stared ahead. "But we've had visitors, and none of them... it has not worked so far."
Zoro wanted to ask what exactly that it was that didn't work but the door swung open in that moment, curtesy of Brook. "Please, dinner is served." He said.
Zoro didn't feel like denying the invitation so he swung to his feet.
Once more Zoro was led through the halls, back to the private dining room that was now iliminated by candles and lanterns, the one they called Vivi among them.
His host was sitting at the table too, this time without his rats, although the chunks that were missing out of the fish and the bread on the table suggested to Zoro they had indeed been fed.
The food smelled great, Zoro had to admit, grilled asparagus and potatoes to go with the fish and some sauce too.
He sat down without much ceremony and started loading his plate while his host looked at him with those dead eyes.
If he couldn't feel that at least made sense.
But Zoro didn't have much to say even if there had been prompting. "Thank you for the meal," was all he could think off, before he started digging in.
Disappointment set in soon, not because the food was bad but because it had that same bland, just short of great taste to it.
Sanji too was eating if not particularly motivated about it. Instead he watched Zoro. "And how is the food?" He asked at length and Zoro swallowed his latest mouthful.
"'S alright," he said. He sure had eaten worse at least.
When he looked up at the silence his host had his fork still lifted and was looking at him with that constipated face again, ridiculous brows drawn together. "And what is it about my food that you find so mediocre?" He asked and if there were any tone to it at all Zoro might be worried.
As it was he shrugged. "'S not bad. Just kinda... I dunno, bland?"
Curls set down his fork and linked his fingers to look at Zoro over them, eerily reminiscent of mihawk all of a sudden. "And what the fuck qualifies you for that judgement," he said.
Zoro shrugged once more. "I dunno, taste buds?"
Another stare. "I did not beat you hard enough earlier."
"If this is an invitation to dance, we can dance, Curls." Zoro said and took another bite.
"I doubt you can keep step, certainly couldn't earlier." Curls said. "And besides, you are bathed. That seems like an accomplishment I'm not eager to destroy. You even put on clean clothes."
Zoro shrugged. "Suit yourself, just know a rematch wouldn't end the same." As he continued eating and took seconds, Curls continued watching him.
"You have quite the appetite for a guest with complaints," he said at length.
"It's perfectly edible food, Curls, I'm not going to waste it," Zoro said.
He stared again and Zoro might be imagining it but his shoulders finally relaxed some. "All right then," he said and took up his fork again.
Dinner proceeded quietly and even after they sat together with another bottle of good wine, the silence comfortable.
At least until the clock struck ten and Curls rose from his seat seamlessly, packing away the left overs and swanning out without another word.
Weird ass fucker, Zoro thought.
At least Nami seemed pleased, judging from the extra spring in her hop when she led him back to his room. And he was sure there was rustling and banging and whispering all the way.
At least in his room he seemed to be alone with the overwhelming quiet.
He set his swords down, stripped out of his borrowed clothes and slipped under the covers.
Tomorrow maybe he could get another spar.
***
That plan came to nothing when he was woken by something wet and warm at his face and at his hands.
He startled awake, scrambling into a sitting position. And there it was again, that damn rat staring at him along with its friends, one of which was nibbling his fingers.
"What the fuck?" Zoro asked the world at large, throwing the rodents off as he pushed the blanket away.
"You are awake," that impassive voice said.
Only now Zoro noticed the sneaky fucker standing in the door.
"Come with me," he said, and turned without waiting.
Zoro cursed but scrambled into the clothes again, the rats still sitting around staring at him for some reason.
They ended up running along when he left the room too, leading hom through the labyrinthine halls to the entry hall he only vaguely remembered.
The quiet was eerie and Zoro wondered if really none of the living furniture were awake.
The grandfather clock read almost 4. Not the most reasonable time maybe, but Robin hadn't seemed the type to be a light sleeper.
Didn't really matter. He knew what to expect now. He could take Curls if push came to shove.
Except Curls didn't seem keen on a fight, not that he was ever really keen on anything.
Curls had wrapped himself in a wintercoat and was holding Zoro's own out to him.
"What, you going to bury me in the snow?" Zoro asked.
"Quite the opposite," Curls said and stepped outside, his four animal companions nestled in his coat.
Zoro followed and closed the door behind him.
Crisp cold bit at his face at once, even though the snow had let up and when he looked around he remembered the place, even if it looked darker now, almost all of the windows boarded up.
"This century, we are losing time," Curls said from the bottom of the stairs.
"Nah Sanji, let him look, I'm fast like this, we'll make it in time." a new voice said, cheerful and bursting with confidence.
And there it was, a marble white Statue of a curly maned lion, looking at him with bright red eyes. Zoro approached the lion as if pulled by a string. He looked majestic somehow, even with a gangliness to his limbs that seemed at odds with how solid he otherwise was.
"You must be the one they call Captain Luffy. " Zoro said.
"Yes!" The lion said and laughed, bright enough to reverberate through the night.
"We should leave now," Sanji said. "On the lion you go."
Zoro scowled at Curls. He'd never liked being ordered around. At the same time this was all kind of curious, and he really wasn't opposed to riding a lion.
He swung himself onto the lions cool, smooth back only momentarily desoriented when curls sat behind him, close enough to feel that he was warm but solid, like a bronze statue that had been in the sun.
He shook himself from the distraction as one of the damn rats nipped at him again.
"Niji," Curls said in a tone that might have been reproach if there was a tone
Then they were on the move, the snowed in landscape speeding past with Luffy's leaps and bounds.
It was a dizzying ride and before long they arrived at what looked like an orchard with a snowed over path going leading through it and into the distance.
Curls slid off the lion with ridiculously smooth grace and walked up to the entrance of the orchard, his rats still peaking out of his coatpockets and collar.
"This," he said, "is the way back to your world and time."
Zoro looked at the path, back at curls. "What the hell does that mean?"
"It means you can leave," Curls said. "That is usually what you would want when trapped in a cursed castle, yes?"
"Who said anything about trapped? You think you could trap me?"
That unimpressed look again.
"The curse, not me," he said. "You can leave now or you have to stay however long it takes until the door is open again."
Zoro looked at the path again, looking all innocent
. Weird ass castle.
His thumb stroked over Wadou's hilt as he thought.
"That the choice you give everyone who stumbles in here?"
"Yes," Sanji said and Luffy laughed.Zoro looked at the path again. It should be easy. Beyond there was Mihawk and every challenge on the way to him.
Wadou's was a cool reminder of his promise under his hand and he looked back at Curls, black hair a stark contrast, face impassive and the stupid rats he kept feeding poking out of his coat and staring at Zoro.
He thought about everyone at the castle with their cryptic talk. Thought also that he likely owed them his life.
And also thought that training under Mihawk had not nearly yielded the results he thought it would.
Maybe the opposite. And maybe following Mihawk's instructions was something he needed to do on his own terms again, after half years of playing the protege.
All of this bullshit was much more Perona's speed than his and thinking about it was giving him a headache.
In the end it was easy. He didn't particularly want to leave.
"Nah, I'm fine where I am. You could have asked instead of orchestrating this drama at ass o'clock," he said and walked back to Luffy who was now laughing hysterically, so hard it almost looked like his stone curls were bouncing.
"He's got you there," Luffy said and Zoro could hear his grin, however that worked.
He turned back to look at Curls, who still stood in the snow, looking lost. "You are staying?" Sanji asked.
"Sure am, you coming or what?"
He didn't say more but he did come and settle on the lion.
This time he was in front and Zoro would be lying if he said he didn't enjoy holding onto the slender waist on their way back as the first rays of morning light painted the snow in pinks and purples.
By the time they were back at the castle the sun was up and the snow was almost too bright. Curls slipped off Luffy's back seamlessly to go back inside but Zoro stayed a while, eyeing the lion who was now stretching with a big yawn.
"You not gonna come inside?"
"Nah, I can't really do anything in there to help. I'm too big to really explore. Outside is more interesting unless Sanji is hosting a party."
"Curls hosts parties?" Zoeo asked.
"Eh, he cooks, if you ask, even if it's not as great as way back when. Brook plays music and I call it a party," he said and stretched out on the cobble stones. "The others need one every once in a while too, we've been here so long."
Zoro nodded, then looked back to where Luffy's prints were still in the snow. "So you were off exploring yesterday."
"Looking for that girl with the pink curls and the funny scream. Usopp made her scream so loud when he was trying to save the spiders from Sanji."
"Take it you didn't find Perona?" Zoro asked, putting aside for the moment the talk of spiders.
"Nope, must have left. The curse usually leads visitors out again. If they don't wanna stay." He rolled onto his back, wriggling a big.
"It's good that you're staying. I think Sanji likes you."
Zoro scoffed. "Yeah, I don't think that guy likes anyone."
"Everyone thinks that now. Even Sanji," Luffy said. "But that's stupid."
He rolled back on his stomach again and looked at Zoro, grinning wide, somehow. "You wanna go on an adventure soon?"
"Sure" Zoro said, rubbing his hands.
"Shishi, but you should go inside first to warm up and have breakfast. Sanji makes the best breakfast. Well- made but it's still pretty good!"
Zoro heeded the suggestion, but as soon as he opened the door was greeted by Nami's voice. It was a few notches higher than usual, and louder too.
"-why you keep doing this! Sanji, the magic won't last forever and when it fails, you- you! Ugh!"
"I know," he said. "But holding people here against their wishes will accomplish nothing."
"Ugh, you won't even give them a chance to know you!"
"What's to know?" Sanji asked.
Nami's flames shot up cackling as she groaned. "I can't believe you! And now we- hold on, what are you still doing here?" She suddenly asked, when Zoro walked up to them.
"We will have a guest for a while longer," Sanji said tonelessly and walked past the table where Nami stood.
She was still looking at him, or at least he thought she was. "What he said," Zoro confirmed.
"But he- didn't he bring you to the orchard?" She asked.
"Yeah. He's very dramatic for a man who supposedly has no feelings," Zoro said and the flame flickered as if confused.
"I can't believe Sanji did it again," Usopp said, walking up to them. "Every time he- hello Zoro- Zoro!" He said clock hands at 12. "My man, you're still here!"
"Seems that's big news," Zoro said. "He brought me, he asked, I'm staying."
"Just like that?" Nami asked, voice laced with suspicion.
"Yeah, I suppose. You did sort of save my life too. So if this curse of yours can be cut, I'm your guy. If not, nothing against a quiet place to train for a bit," Zoro said.
They both stared at him, he could tell. Then looked at each other. "Oh brother," Nami said. "We're doomed."
***
Doomed or not, the day went on and as Zoro walked through the halls to the training grounds he could hear the rustling and whispering again.
When he was pretty sure he was close he found himself face to face with Curls. "And where are you wandering at breakfast time?" He asked and only now Zoro noticed the empty tray under his arm. His pets' rations no doubt.
"Training," Zoro said. "But I can eat."
Curls looked at him critically, sniffed and then turned on his heel.
Zoro took this as his cue to follow and quicker than expected in the huge ass castle they were in the kitchens, covered trays waiting for them.
The food looked predictably great, a soup with fish in it and scrambled eggs alongside crispy potatoes.
It tasted good in that bland way too, and as Zoro ate he could feel Curls watch him once more. "Today's food more to your liking?" He asked.
Zoro shrugged, "Same as yesterday. 'M not complaining though so you can stop looking at me like I am."
"Bland is a complaint. A rude one for a shitty guest," Sanji said.
"Spar later and teach me a lesson?" Zoro asked and felt his blood tingle pleasantly at the look that got him.
"Maybe I should," Curls said and returned to his meal.
They ate in peace and then went for another spar under the watchful eye of those damn rats.
This time Zoro didn't underestimate his opponent and the fight ended in a clean draw.
Zoro ached pleasantly after in a way he hadn't so long. Mihawk's drills were brutal but he wouldn't spar with Zoro himself and there were only so many tactics his army of hired security could offer. And bared as Zoro had been from going after bounties there had not been much of a challenge their either.
Curls was different, tough as steel, brutally efficient and suprisingly creative.
It was a pity he didn't wield swords.
After their spar Curls left and Zoro remained where he was to practice his stances.
The rats did not leave, opting to stare instead and he could have sworn the biggest of them wasn't just playing with a small metal ball off to the side but lifting it rhythmically.
Weird ass castle, but good on the rat.
When he found his way back to the main halls he wasn't immediately grilled for once, instead following the rustling to where every living thing in the castle seemed engaged in decorating a banquet hall.
Even Luffy was there, splayed in the middle of the room, more hindrance than help, but when he saw Zoro he jumped to his feet and trotted over. "There you are, shishi," he said. "This feast is for you, so you should be guest of honour!"
"Feast how? Do you lot even eat?"
"We can, but we don't poop," Luffy said sagely.
Zoro wondered about that only a moment before Nami came hopping. "Can you dance?" She asked and somehow he felt accused already.
In truth Mihawk had made him learn, but he wouldn't call it one of his favourite pastimes.
"Some," he said truthfully.
Her flames crackled then settled. "Some will have to do, I guess," she muttered. "Go wash up."
Zoro wanted to protest, he had just washed up yesterday, but he was pretty sweaty. As long as they didn't make him wear another stuffy thing he could use another soak.
Of course he wasn't that lucky and the ensemble that waited for him was just as uptight as the one from the day before, but at least without the itchy frills at the collar.
"The jacket today, please," Robin's voice said and Zoro needed a moment to see her drapped around his door like a garland.
"Why?" Zoro asked.
"Call it curbing a spot of curiosity," she said.
Zoro grumbled. "If I get too hot I take this off."
"That seems quite fair," she said. "Please, the festivities are about to commence and we wouldn't want you to be late."
Like Zoro couldn't be punctual on his own.
He still followed her to the hall which was now fully decked out in candles and lanters, light reflecting off colourful gems and crystal glass.
Food was lined up on a table at one side and a piano on the other.
Every living thing in the castle seemed to have gathered on and around tables towards the far end too.
Everyone but their host.
"Sanji will be with us shortly," Brook said, suddenly at Zoro's side. "He does like taking his time to get ready."
Zoro could believe that.
Priss.
There was wine by the bottle next to the food so it was easy to entertain himself for the moment, not to speak of all the inanimate objects that felt the need to introduce themselves.
A tall coffeepot named Cosette and an intricate mechanical bird called Pell were among them.
There was also a set of teacups that giggled like children but failed to introduce themselves. A trumpet called Igaram and someone called Inazuma, who moved from banner to banner, taking form as different elaborate stitching works were also in attendance.
Everyone seemed more eager to talk to Zoro than he thought was warranted.
The socialising was interrupted at last by Brook playing a tune and all eyes turning to the entrance where the host finally appeared.
He looked simpler than Zoro had expected but no less noble for it. The simple loose shirts he usually wore tucked into his pants was replaced by a fitted jacket that left his waist defined and his shoulders broader.
The blue of it was a deep colour, the same one his eyes were and the long waves of his hair were styled in a ponytail that fell over his shoulder, the end a neat curl.
He looked regal and more handsome than he had any right to with that morose expression on his face.
He approached Zoro without much ado, only to pass straight by him to the food and start preparing plates.
"Ask him to dance," Nami said. When the hell had she appeared at his side?
"Why?" Zoro asked.
She extended her flames to him so far that he drew back from the heat. "Because he looks good and you didn't just stay because you like the prospect of training alone."
Zoro raised a brow at her but turned to watch Curls bring the rats their plates and then set down a bigger one for Luffy.
From the back he looked even more well proportioned - broad shouldered with a compact waist, a plush behind and muscled legs.
He took another swig of his wine. "Been told he likes girls."
"Right now who even knows. Worth a try," Nami said.
Zoro emptied the bottle and glanced back at Curls who was still walking around with trays like a waiter instead of a Lord.
Ah, what the hell. It wasn't like Curls cared enough to be mean about a rejection.
Thus braced Zoro strode over to him, the music changing from cheery to something slower and more elegant.
"You wanna dance?" Zoro asked before he could lose his nerve.
Curls looked at him blankly but set the tray aside. "Try to keep step," he said but took the few strides to the dance floor and looked at Zoro again, expectantly, if Zoro didn't know better.
It was strangely hard to recall Mihawk's lessons and he fumbled a bit before they were in position, one warm but too solid hand in his, the other on his shoulder while Zoro's settled on that small but muscled waist.
They swayed together experimentally, and Zoro could tell that Curls was expertly avoiding Zoro clumsily stepping on his feet.
Stupid, he should be better than this.
"You are a shitty dancer," Curls said, the lack of inflection at odds with his foul mouth.
It may have been true but Zoro was nothing if not competitive. "I'll show you," he muttered and took a deep breath, focussing all his sense on doing it right. It got better then, if somewhat repetitive.
"Any more complaints, Curls?" Zoro asked.
Curls looked at him, those beautiful blue eyes still dull. "No," he said.
Good enough, Zoro thought, or maybe it wasn't, but it was nice, holding a guy like this and moving together to the same rhythm.
He didn't get much opportunity to pursue his tastes between his ambition and the scarcity of his prospects. When you mostly hunted guys down for their bounty or their prowess with a sword there wasn't much room to try and bed them. Even less so when your master was of the opinion that isolation was in order.
As the dances rushed past him he got bolder too, spinning his partner and pulling him back, all of which Curls excecuted with stiff grace.
He lost some rhythm in the process but Curls didn't complain.
It felt like no time at all until the clock struck ten and Curls disentangled himself wordlessly, making himself busy clearing the remains of the food. Most of it had been consumed, disappearing into candle flames and hidden compartments and Luffy's maw, but apparently there was enough work left to leave Zoro with his arms empty.
Weird ass magic.
He felt a little lost with his arms empty so he got another bottle of wine and started chugging.
His peace was interrupted once again by Nami, this time in tandem with Usopp.
"And?" She demanded.
"And, what?" Zoro asked.
"How was it?" She asked.
Zoro shrugged. "Good, I guess? Dancing isn't really my thing."
She huffed a frustrated little sigh.
"But you danced the whole evening," Usopp said. "So it must have been kind of good?"
"Kind of, yeah," Zoro said and them wandered off with his bottle, that feeling of a warm weight in his arms lingering. He wound up at the other end of the room where Robin and Chopper where talking about some book or other, one of the rats half hidden behind a curtain.
The music was fast and cheerful again and on the floor Luffy was jumping and shaking his stone mane, avoiding the teacups turning in circles all over, somehow. The pipes were banging in time with the rhythm too and Zoro wondered what else Franky the oven could do.
The party went on past midnight and when everyone dispersed they all seemed calmer and more happy.
He followed Luffy outside for a bit when everyone else had gone whereever it was they went and they looked at the snow for a while.
"It's really good that you're staying," Luffy said.
"Sanji was happy tonight."
Zoro doubted it, but with hours of sparring and dancing and half a dozen bottles of wine in him he wasn't going to contradict a talking stone lion.
Instead he had another swig from his bottle.