Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“This is just how it has to be,” Alpha said, setting down his drink. Charlie watched his hands tighten around the glass. Tonight, he was dressed in a maroon blazer with matching pants. He wore his black glasses instead of wearing his contacts. He looked handsome as he usually did. It made everything worse. “What do you have to say?” 

“Huh?” Charlie dryly said. He brushed away a loose hair that had fallen on his face. “What do you want me to s-say?”

Alpha just looked back at him, clearly lost in a response. This is far from what Charlie expected when Alpha invited him to their favorite bar. He had a feeling it was going to be something important. He thought Alpha would ask him to be his boyfriend. Hell, maybe he even wanted them to talk about moving in with each other. They have been friends for almost four years and have been closer than that this past year. Charlie wasn’t getting younger, and they stayed over at each other's places enough that it would not be that big of a jump for them. 

“Look,” Alpha finally broke the silence, removing his glasses and putting them on the table. “If the world was different, I would love to have something with you. You’re so fucking important-”

“But?” Charlie interrupted biting his lip in embarrassment.  

“I want a normal life,” Alpha continued.

Charlie flinched at the word ‘normal’. He knew he was abnormal. He was a hardcore dedicated vegan. He was an immigrant with a funny accent. He weirded people out with how anxious he got over the stupidest things. He would always get stares and comments about how he had to wear an eye patch because of his disfigurement.

Since he was younger, he hated the parts of himself that made him stick out.  He was terrified of being with someone like Alpha who seemed so perfect, handsome, and confident about himself. But Alpha always reassured him that the parts of him that were different were something he loved. It made Charlie start to love those parts as well.

Guess those feelings were only temporary though. 

“Oh…” Charlie choked. 

 “My mom keeps lecturing me about how I’m not getting younger. She wants me to meet this girl, the daughter of one of her friends. She wants us to be arranged together,” Alpha explained.

So that’s what it was. He wanted to be straight. Straight and normal.

Charlie fought between feeling sad and wanting to laugh at the notion of Alpha dating a girl. He couldn't help but to recall how a few months ago, Alpha said that women were unappealing, and he was grateful that he was with a man.

“Have you met h-her…” Charlie said while sipping his drink wishing there was more alcohol in it. He didn’t know if he should force himself to be happy for Alpha. He didn’t know what Alpha wanted anymore.

“Once briefly.”

“And I bet your mom wants you to have grandkids too huh? You’re going to be a d-dad! Haha,” Charlie attempted to show playfulness, but he failed to lighten up the situation as Alpha only frowned back.

“Well, I should. Being with her is the best for the course of my life. I have a lot of responsibilities and goals that I need to achieve,” Alpha nodded.

Alpha was studying to be a lawyer. And Alpha always talked about how hard it was going to be in the business of being known as the “gay asian lawyer.” If people found out, it could mean that they would not take him seriously. As much as Charlie cringed at Alpha’s problematic statement of identifying himself, he knew he was right. The city that they lived in had a mixture of opinions on the topic of equality. Some places like the bar that they were in now were a safe space while in some places in the city, you had to be more careful.

“Anything else to add? Charlie sighed.

“Anything else? What do you...? Um you know I have been attending that youth group. It made me question us more. I guess…” Alpha tapped on the table rocking. Charlie assumed he was tired of their conversation and wanted to move on.

“Okay,” Charlie shrugged, looking towards a wall. He hated that religious group that Alpha had shown an interest in recently. He always knew Alpha was somewhat religious. He never knew what to say to him when he would have a random spike of doubt if what they had together was morally okay.     

“Okay?” Alpha crossed his arms. “That’s it?”

Charlie's face twitched involuntarily looking back towards Alpha. “What do you want me to say? I’m shocked. Did you always plan to do this eventually?”

“No,” Alpha said. “Look. This is awful for me too.”

“Then why-?”

“Like I said my mom has been getting on my ass. It has caused me to take a step back and look at what I wanted for my life and Charlie my god have you seen the reality of it? Choosing this will make my life much more difficult. It is choosing life on hard mode!”

“It’s not so bad,” Charlie mumbled under his breath, not believing his own words. 

“I don't want to worry about holding the hand of the person I love every time I go out. And I don't want to deal with having to come out every time I meet someone new,” Alpha’s hands gestured dramatically. “Also, what if they are right about how this is a sin?” 

“I know it's hard, but it will be okay if we do this together,” Charlie weakly cracked. He thought about grabbing his hand but refused to do so because he knew it was pointless. When Alpha decided to do something, it was final. He couldn't stand another rejection right now. 

“Just last week we got screamed at and we weren't even doing anything together! I don’t admit things like this often Charles, but it made me scared. I’m not someone who gets scared. I could not sleep that night.” 

“Fuck, I knew that bothered you…” 

“Yes… I can’t do it. Please understand. I don’t feel comfortable anymore. I'm tired of feeling that way. I need to choose what is best for me,” Alpha pleaded placing a hand on Charlie’s shoulder. He forced deep eye contact.

Charlie’s heart stung as he reached up to place his hand over Alpha’s.

If Charlie was brave, he would have argued for their relationship.

He would have pointed out how Alpha was being a hypocrite in saying he wanted an easier life. Alpha usually would say that he loved to face challenges in life.

He wanted to point out how Alpha was always going to be uncomfortable, even if he was going to marry a woman. That he was always going to be gay no matter how hard he tried to hide it.

He wanted to scream and keep Alpha to himself.

But at the end of the day, Charlie just felt defeated and sad. He wasn’t going to do anything.  

Alpha was choosing not to love him. And he had to accept that. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way about us,” Charlie squeezed his eye shut. He was proud of himself for not crying yet. At least Alpha helped him to control his emotions during their time together. He needed to keep his tears from his bed. 

“Please understand that none of this is your fault. You are amazing. But we must stay just friends. I want you to still be my friend. I do love you.” 

“Okay,” Charlie wasn't sure if he wanted to continue being friends. But he knew making that decision right now was stupid.

“Yes. Yes. Perfect,” Alpha ran his hands through his hair.  “When should we meet again? Maybe next-”

“Hold on,” Charlie suddenly felt a sense of urgency. Even before they had this thing together, they had been meeting up with each other at least once a week. So, Charlie understood Alpha’s natural habit to plan for next time. But Charlie couldn't do that right now. His heart was too broken. “No. I need time. I need time away from you to feel better about this.”

“OH,” Alpha chuckled nervously. “Of course.” 

“I’m sorry,” Charlie said feeling ridiculous apologizing again. He wished that Alpha would apologize. 

Alpha just stared back. 

Charlie wanted to run. So, he reached into his wallet and pulled out a wad of cash. It was more than the number of drinks they ordered. But Charlie could care less as he set it down on the table.

“Sorry, I can't be here anymore. Thank you for finally making your decision about us.”

“Wait! You don’t have to do that-” Alpha scrambled picking up the money. A few dollars fell to the ground. 

“Goodbye Al,” Charlie spat out backing quickly away. I’ll text you when I feel better.” 

He turned around with his head down rushing out of the bar.

In a fantasy world, Alpha would have chased after him saying that all he said tonight was a mistake. But Charlie wasn't living in that world.

No one came after him.

Charlie laid on his back, tangled in the sheets, staring blankly at the ceiling as the weight of his thoughts pressed down on him. His apartment felt like a prison, each hour dragging into the next as the storm of depression consumed him. 

The only things that got him up were necessity and habit. Bathroom breaks. A cigarette or a blunt when the restlessness became unbearable. Work, because he had to, though he barely functioned there. Clock in, keep his head down, say as little as possible, and leave the moment his shift was over. Then it was straight back here, back to his bed, back to the crushing silence.

It was pathetic.

But no matter how much he tried to bury the memories; they clawed their way back. Alpha’s rejection replayed in his head like a broken record.

And it didn’t help that, despite telling Alpha he needed space, the messages kept coming. Long ones, too—paragraphs at a time.

Charlie ignored them. He told himself it was for the best.

He knew isolating himself wasn’t the healthiest way to deal with this. Ideally, he should be out, keeping busy, surrounding himself with friends. But that was the thing—he didn’t have friends. Or at least he didn’t have any friends that he could talk to about this situation.

Even back in Croatia, it had just been him and Clementine. His sister had always been his anchor, the one constant in his life. But now, here, alone in his apartment, he felt like he was drifting, sinking into a place he wasn’t sure he could pull himself out of.

His sister wasn’t an option right now. He texted her occasionally but now wasn’t the time to bring up Alpha.

Besides, talking to her was already difficult with the time difference. And even if it weren’t, he wasn’t in the mood to hear her say, I told you so. Clementine had never trusted Alpha—she always claimed there was something off about him, that he seemed disingenuous. Charlie didn’t want to hear that right now.

More than anything, he felt guilty. If he told her what happened, she’d worry. And she had enough on her plate already. She was busy planning her tour, her dream finally within reach, and the last thing he wanted was to drag her down with his mess.

If she dropped everything to check on him, he’d never forgive himself.

The only other person Charlie considered a friend was someone he couldn’t talk to either.

That person was Beta. One of Alpha’s younger brothers.

Beta was everything Alpha wasn’t. Laid-back, unconventional, completely unbothered by expectations. With his tattoos, piercings, and grunge-inspired outfits, he had no real ambitions beyond just existing. While Alpha took everything seriously and obsessed over perfection, Beta drifted through life like he had all the time in the world. Charlie liked hanging out with him. Beta’s humor, his carefree attitude, it was a refreshing contrast to everyone else in his life.

But as much as Charlie appreciated him, it felt wrong to confide in him now.

Beta was still Alpha’s brother.

As much as Charlie hated to admit it, their friendship only existed because of Alpha. Over time, Beta had started to feel like a stepbrother to him—someone who just happened to come with the package of being close to Alpha. And now that he and Alpha were… whatever they were, Charlie couldn’t help but wonder if that meant losing Beta too.

Beta didn’t even know about him and Alpha. He had never told him. Maybe Beta had figured it out, but if he had, he never mentioned it.

And now Charlie was going to have to explain it. The thought made his stomach turn.

Beta was away right. He was attending an art university in London. 

Charlie sighed, staring up at the ceiling.

Maybe he should just cut them both out of his life. It would be easier. No more reminders of what he couldn’t have.

Charlie sighed and rubbed his face, trying to shake off the heaviness weighing him down. He needed to move , to do something , anything that didn’t involve lying in bed and letting his thoughts consume him.

He pushed himself up, his muscles aching from disuse, and sat on the edge of the bed. Everything felt stiff, sluggish. Even the air in his apartment felt suffocating.

I need to get out.

His mind scrambled for ideas, searching for something that didn’t remind him of Alpha. But the more he thought about it, the worse it got. Most of the things he used to enjoy were things he had done with Alpha. Even the stupid, mundane things like grabbing coffee, walking around aimlessly, and sitting in the car listening to music all had traces of him.

Charlie gritted his teeth and forced the memories away.

He needed something different. Somewhere he could be around people but still be alone. Somewhere loud enough to drown out his thoughts but dark enough that no one would care about him sulking in the corner.

A bar.

That was an idea. Though he and Alpha would attend bars frequently, Charlie was someone who always loved going to bars even before knowing Alpha. Alcohol was a passion for him.

Charlie exhaled sharply and stood up, already reaching for his jacket. Alcohol wouldn’t fix anything, but at least it would take the edge off. Just for tonight. Just long enough to make everything a little more bearable.

He avoided looking around the bar, afraid that making eye contact would invite unwanted conversations. Instead, he slid onto a stool and faced the bartender—a beautiful girl with dark, curly hair. Forcing a small smile, he ordered a rum and Coke.

As he sipped his drink, his gaze locked onto the televisions playing various sports. He didn’t care about American sports, but thankfully, one screen was showing football from the World Cup. That was something.

Maybe coming out tonight was pointless—he could just drink at home like he had been all week. But drinking at home had only made him feel worse. At least here, there was noise. Laughter, conversations buzzing, the clinking of glasses. A poor distraction, but a distraction, nonetheless.

Charlie took another sip, letting the warmth of the rum settle in his chest. He wasn’t even invested in the teams playing, but focusing on the movement of the ball—the precise passes, the way the players sprinted across the field—was easier than thinking about why he was here.

He exhaled, rolling his shoulders back. This is fine. I’m fine.

“Charlie?” A familiar voice cut through the noise. 

Charlie flinched at his name being said. He looked over and met eyes with the youngest of Alpha’s brothers. 

Senpai.  

His strawberry-blonde hair was a wild mess, and his shirt was slightly unbuttoned. He held an empty glass of beer in his hand.  His bright blue eyes stared back at him in confusion. Charlie wondered how he had not noticed him sooner.

"Are you okay?" Sen slurred, squinting at him. "You look so different unshaven."

Charlie swallowed, caught off guard. "Y-yeah," he mumbled, suddenly self-conscious. He ran a hand over his face, trying to remember the last time he’d bothered to shave.

He couldn't remember ever having a one-on-one conversation with Sen—much less a drunk Sen.

Charlie didn’t know much about him. From what he had observed, Sen was a mix of both Alpha and Beta, and he couldn’t decide if that was a good or bad thing. Most of what he knew came from Alpha’s offhanded remarks, which were rarely positive. Alpha admitted that Sen was friendly and had a good sense of style, but beyond that, his criticisms were sharp—Sen was immature and loud, much like Beta, but with an even worse temper. Alpha had once told him that Sen used to get suspended for getting into heated arguments, sometimes even throwing around slurs.

Charlie shifted in his seat, uneasy. He never knew what to expect from Sen.

“You sure?” Sen frowned.

“Y-yes,” Charlie sipped his drink turning away from him. “Just enjoying a night out.”  

Charlie felt the presence of Sen behind him. His heart started beating faster when he felt him sit beside him. Charlie stayed silent keeping his eyes on the screen. 

“Is Alpha here with you?” Sen asked looking around.

“We aren't always t-together!” Charlie panicked spinning around towards him. He cringed internally regretting not being able to control his tone.   

“Woah, woah!” Sen held his hands up defensively. He then hiccupped. “It’s okay. There is nothing wrong with spending time with your boyfriend.” 

Charlie's hands started to shake at those words.

“OH fuck,” Sen’s eyes widened. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud ha-ha. But it’s okay.”

“Wait,” Charlie wheezed. The only person who knew about Alpha was his sister, besides her, they had never come out to anyone, especially Alpha’s family. “You must be mistaken. We’re just f-friends.”

Which was true now.

“Come on you can’t fool me. It’s obvious. Beta knows too.”

“Fuck,” Charlie put his head on the table and put his arms over it. “Beta knows too?”

“Yeah, he wanted you to come out on your own time” Sen rolled his eyes. “We know because Alpha doesn’t shut up about you. It’s adorable. Both of us don’t care. We’re happy that Alpha can find someone that tolerates him.”

“Sen…” Charlie's face flushed.

Sen paused.

“But wait. You’re alone? Why aren’t you together tonight?”

Charlie didn’t answer. Why didn’t Sen have enough social awareness that he wanted to be left alone? Maybe it was because he was drunk. No. He would do this even if he was sober.

“Oh no, did something happen? Now that I think about it, the last time I talked to Alpha, he seemed quieter than usual.”

“Mm,” Charlie chugged his drink. 

“Did you break up…?” Sen asked without a care. 

“MMM!” Charlie groaned. 

"Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Sen frowned. “Did you break up with him, or did he break up with you? Should I congratulate you? Wait… you wouldn’t be sad if that were the case. But I guess you could still be sad even if you were the one who ended it."

“Can you stop talking to me?” Charlie breathed out, surprised at his own words. 

Sen stared back at him stupidly. “What… why?”

"I don’t want to talk about Alpha with you," Charlie mumbled. Not only did he not want to discuss it in general, but he especially didn’t want to talk about it with someone related to him.

This interaction made him realize the difference between Senpai and Beta. Beta appreciated silence and knew when to stop asking questions. If anything, Sen was acting more like Alpha—someone who couldn’t read the room and didn’t know when to shut up. Charlie hated when people pushed him to talk when he didn’t feel like it.

"Okay… but I don’t think that’s a good idea. Mental health is important, and part of that is not isolating yourself. You must talk about your feelings instead of holding them in, or you’ll end up exploding. I learned that in college. By the way, I’m graduating this year—you should come. Though to be honest, the ceremony is going to be boring."

“Sen…” Charlie huffed in frustration. He wondered if Sen even knew what he was talking about with how intoxicated he was.

“But wait… Alpha is going to be there, so I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Sen continued, ignoring Charlie's attempts to stop him from talking.  “Never mind. We hate Alpha. He’s not so amazing you know. He acts like he is, but he isn’t. I’m so sorry he broke your heart. I shouldn’t leave you, Chuck! Also… I don’t want to be alone either. My friends ditched me tonight, so I am happy to see a familiar face now and hang out with-” 

“S-STOP!” Charlie rubbed his face in frustration. “PLEASE leave me alone… I’m sorry to say this but I’m starting to get annoyed at you. No, I’m getting pissed! YOU’RE a-annoying!” 

Sen’s mouth shut tight.

Charlie covered his mouth in shock. He immediately felt a sense of dread and embarrassment at his misdirected anger. He looked around and saw a group of people staring at him. He turned away in shame. He hesitantly looked over to Sen's shocked face, and his heart sank.

But before he could apologize, Sen let out a loud laugh.  

“HAHA! OH my god! Didn’t expect that from you.” 

“W-what?” Charlie frowned. “I’m s-sorry?”  

“It’s fine! This is so funny! You’re always so soft-spoken and sweet. It’s interesting to see you snap. Do it again!” 

“Seriously? No! That wasn’t okay! I’m sorry that I did that,” Charlie shook his head.

"Charlie, stop apologizing! I get it," Sen reassured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I’ve heard so much worse in my life."

"That doesn’t make it right… You weren’t doing anything wrong by talking to me. I just came here to be alone, and I haven't been feeling the best lately. That’s why I snapped."

"Obviously." Sen removed his hand and gave a small wave. "I’m not doing the best right now either. That’s why I’m here—to forget."

"You’re sad? Why?" Charlie raised an eyebrow, assuming Sen was just partying.

"My girlfriend broke up with me too," Sen admitted looking down. "So, I don’t think we should be alone—now that we’re here together."

Charlie wasn’t surprised to learn that Sen had been dumped. He’d often hear gossip from Alpha about Sen’s relationship drama. His longest relationship had only lasted about four months. As immature as he saw Sen, he couldn’t blame him too much for that. Throughout his life, Charlie had dealt with crappy relationships, and before Alpha, his experiences had been like Sen’s.

“I’m sorry about that,” Charlie said. “How long were you two together?”

“Two weeks? I don’t know,” Sen shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. I knew we weren’t right for each other. I’m fine. I’ll find someone so much hotter and better than her.”

“Oh, okay,” Charlie said, looking Sen up and down. He seemed so defeated and small now, so different from the energetic person he was just moments ago. Charlie hated seeing others down, and there was no way he’d push Sen away because of it. Though he still wanted silence, he had to admit it might be best for them to stick together tonight. Charlie smiled. “Y-you’re not going to leave me alone even if I ask, are you?”

“Of course not,” Sen said with a smile, reaching over to pat Charlie’s back. “You’re a friend in need.”

“Are we friends?” Charlie tilted his head. He’d always thought Sen wasn’t interested in talking to him. Was Sen talking to him now because he was the only one here, he knew? Or had he always been curious about him but never had the chance to start a personal conversation? Maybe he’d felt like he didn’t stand a chance with how close Charlie was with his older brothers.

“Yes, of course, we are,” Sen chuckled. But his expression quickly turned serious. “Plus, like I said, the friends I came with ditched me. Sooo…”

“Oh, y-yeah...” Charlie sighed.

He felt a sudden tinge of insecurity, realizing he was right—Sen was only talking to him because he was the only familiar person around. If he had the choice, he’d probably be with his friends instead. Charlie pushed the feeling down, hoping it wouldn’t get in the way of the conversation. Why should he care so much? Just moments ago, he wanted Sen to go away—he had no right to be upset.

“Why did they do that?” Charlie asked hoping that their conversation could continue.

“They said they had ‘work tomorrow’,” Sen rolled his eyes. “Ugh, what losers. But hey, with them gone, I finally get to spend more time with you. I’d choose you over them any day. So, I guess it all worked out.”

“OH!” Charlie felt his face start to warm. “I’m glad you are here w-with me too.”

“I’m glad you changed your mind! I thought you were going to bite my head off earlier.”

“Maybe I still will if you d-don’t behave,” Charlie tried to wink but then drunkenly realized Sen would just register that as him blinking. He groaned internally at himself but then chuckled.

He needed to push away these negative thoughts about Sen. Just because Sen knew him didn’t mean he was only talking to him out of convenience. Charlie was pretty sure that if Sen wanted to ditch him to chat up some random pretty girl, he would. But he hadn’t. Sen genuinely wanted to make sure he was okay. He was choosing to talk to him.

That was so sweet.

They both ordered some more beers as they watched the television screen together. They barely exchanged any words. Sen drummed his fingers against the counter before reaching over to tap Charlie, trying to get his attention. Charlie turned towards him raising an eyebrow. 

“Sooo… you don’t have to tell me, but I can’t help being curious and worried about what happened. Alpha didn’t say shit to me.”

“Ugh,” Charlie sighed, debating on what to do. As much as he didn’t feel like explaining, he knew Sen wouldn’t drop it until he got an answer. And honestly, he’d rather Sen hear it from him than from Alpha. “Okay, fine. I’ll give you the short version.”

“Oh, goody!” Sen grinned, leaning his head on his arm.

“Your brother wants to be straight, so he had to say goodbye to what we had,” Charlie closed his eye. His heart squeezed again remembering everything. 

“That doesn't surprise me. Our mom has been talking to him about this girl,” Sen frowned. “Alpha is the most confident hypocrite that I have ever met.”

“I know what you mean,” Charlie pushed the empty glass away from himself. “Is it okay that we don’t talk about this anymore?”

“For sure. I was just curious,” Sen pointed to the glass. “Do you want me to buy you a drink?”

“No, I'm okay. This is my last one. I want to close my tab.” 

“Aww, you’re no fun! You’re not even tipsy.”

“I am… a little bit. I just… drinks never affect me that much.”

“It’s because you’re a big guy. Sorry, I am not calling you fat. I mean you’re just,” Sen waved his hands around. “Fluffy and tall. Beefy.” 

“I get it Sen.”

"I'm not tipsy either," Sen slurred. "HEY! You know this bar is a great place to pick up HOT chicks. You like those too, don’t you? You’re bi-curious or something."

"Bisexual…"

"Yeah, that," Sen snapped his fingers. "That's why I came here tonight."

"Oh, cool." Charlie wanted to ask—if that was the case, why was he talking to him? But he didn’t, afraid of the answer Sen would come up with.

"Trust me, Charlie, you’re going to find someone so much better than stick-up-the-ass Alpha. He’s awful. He’s mean, he’s full of himself... Also, he smokes."

"I smoke," Charlie said, hoping to change the subject.

“Ew. Stop that, you’re going to die.” Sen slapped his arm.

Charlie flinched, then looked Sen up and down, noticing how he was starting to sway and giggle.

“I think you’ve had too much tonight,” Charlie sighed, waving towards the waiter. He’d seen Sen completely shit-faced before, and it wasn’t pretty. “I’ll pay for your tab.”

“No, no, no! Come on, one more,” Sen whined, grabbing and squeezing Charlie’s arm.

“Stop it,” Charlie huffed, pushing him away.

The bartender came over, and thankfully, Sen didn’t whine as he closed both of their tabs. He even got Sen a water to go. Charlie chuckled to himself when he glanced at Sen’s tab—he hadn’t even ordered that many drinks. God, he was a lightweight, just like Alpha.

Sen sipped his water with a pout as he followed Charlie outside towards the entrance.   

"Um, how are y-you are getting home?" Charlie rubbed the side of his arm. Normally, he’d stay at the bar until he felt more sober, but he knew it was best for Sen to get home now—for his own good. And, honestly, Charlie wanted to get out of here, too.

Sen smirked as he pulled out his keys, wiggling them in the air.

"NO!" Charlie lunged to snatch them away.

"Come on, I do it all the time. Only got caught once, and the police officer was cool, so he let me off," Sen argued.

"We’re getting an Uber," Charlie said firmly, ignoring him. He went to sit down on a bench.

“Why can't you drive? You sound sober enough,” Sen sat next to him.

"I'm still drunk. Like I said, it doesn't affect me like it does you," Charlie argued. He probably could drive, and he would if he were alone. But he wasn’t in the mood to get pulled over with Sen by his side tonight.

Plus, he felt like he had the responsibility to be a good role model. He could only imagine how much shit he’d get from Alpha if he found out he drove with his brother while not being fully sober.

Charlie pulled out his phone, staring down at it stupidly as realization hit—he only had his flip phone. He had completely forgotten that any time he needed to order an Uber, he used Alpha's phone.

"HAAHAHA! What the fuck is that?" Sen laughed, pointing at the outdated device.

“I forgot… never mind.” Charlie closed his eye defeated. He was starting to get a headache.  “Give me your phone.” 

“Why?” Sen whined.

“I need to book us a ride home. I promise I’ll pay you back,” Charlie offered.

“AWW Charlie! You’re such a good guy,” Sen laughed. “But I don’t understand why you don’t have a normal phone.”

"It's better for me to have a cheaper phone. I tried having a smartphone before, but I kept breaking or losing it, so I gave up. I mainly use my computer at home," Charlie explained.

"That's weird. Just get a case or an Apple tag or something," Sen said, waving a hand dismissively.

"Apple tag… Uhm?” Charlie’s brain fought to remember what that was.

"How old are you anyway? " Sen asked while handing his phone over. "Because you’re acting like a grandpa right now."

"I'm twenty-nine," Charlie muttered, suddenly feeling self-conscious about hearing the number spoken out loud. He looked down at Sen’s unlocked phone and saw his face reflecting off it. It was flushed. 

"Oh my God, you're over the hill!" Sen teased before quickly waving his hands. "I'm joking, I'm joking. I date a lot of girls who are near their thirties. It’s a sign of my maturity. Older women are great."

Charlie blinked, unsure how that fact had anything to do with him.

“Wait… how old are you?" Charlie asked, suddenly trying to recall the age gap between Alpha and Sen.

"Twenty-one going on twenty-two," Sen laughed. "What? Are you worried that I used a fake ID to drink? I don’t have to do that anymore."

"No…" Charlie mumbled. He scrolled the phone as he talked, finding Sen’s Uber app. “Personally, your American drinking laws are rather silly. In my country, it’s eighteen. How are you allowed to fight for your lives in war but not have a Ožujsko.”

"I know, right? It sucks! I'm so jealous of other countries!" Sen yelled. "Apparently, in North Korea, it's eighteen too! What the fuck, America? You're making me want to live in North Korea!"

"Sen, shh!" Charlie held back laughter.

"I can legally say that! I'm part Asain."

"That doesn't... W-what?" Charlie whispered. "Can you just please lower your voice?"

"Whatever! They hate hearing the truth!" Sen threw his arms up dramatically.

Charlie shook his head and turned his focus to scheduling a ride back to Sen’s place. Thankfully, it was accepted immediately.

"Our ride will be here in less than ten minutes," Charlie informed him.

Sen groaned. "Ugh, fine."

"Just let me know if you're going to be sick-"

"No!" Sen smirked. "Surprises are fun!"

Charlie sighed, rubbing his temple. "Sen, that's not the kind of surprise I want."

Sen grinned, swaying slightly. "You got to live a little, Charlie. Take some risks!"

"Yeah, I'll take my risks somewhere that doesn’t involve cleaning up after you," Charlie muttered, keeping an eye on the time.

Sen stretched his arms over his head and yawned. "You’re such a dad. Did Alpha rub off on you or something?"

Charlie huffed. "I think I just have common sense."

"Common sense is boring," Sen pouted.

"And cleaning puke off my shoes is disgusting," Charlie shot back. "So, if you're feeling sick, you tell me. Got it?"

Sen grinned mischievously.

"I'll let you know, Chuck. But don’t worry, I feel perfectly fine."

"That's good—"

"Especially since you're here with me! I regret not hanging out with you sooner. You're a great guy."

"Aw... thank you," Charlie murmured, looking away. He was enjoying his time with Sen. The chaotic energy reminded him of the fun, reckless nights he used to have with his sister as a teenager. But a tinge of guilt crept in—like he didn’t deserve to feel this good.

"Let’s make sure we get home safe, Senny."

Sen flashed him a wide, genuine smile. Charlie exchanged a smile back.

The Uber ride passed in a blur, and Charlie was grateful for that.

Sen, unusually silent, made Charlie a little uneasy. Every so often, he stole a glance at him, half-expecting some drunken rambling or signs of sickness, but Sen just stared out the window or scrolled through his phone looking unbothered.

At one point, Sen caught him looking and flashed a smile. Charlie quickly looked away, feeling oddly flustered.

As soon as they stepped out of the car, things took a turn for the worse—Sen’s legs turned to jelly. The moment he tried to walk, he stumbled, forcing Charlie to rush forward and catch him.

With no other choice, Charlie wrapped an arm around Sen to support him for the rest of the trip to his apartment. They staggered along, Sen laughing the whole way.

“Sen, for a little guy, you’re dead weight,” Charlie grunted. “You gotta work with me here!”

“SHHH. Don’t call me fat, you asshole,” Sen giggled.

When they finally reached the door, Charlie fumbled with Sen’s keys, struggling to unlock it while supporting Sen’s weight. His palms were sweaty, and his nerves only worsened every time Sen laughed at his failed attempts—whether it was missing the keyhole or dropping the keys altogether.

After what felt like forever, Charlie finally got the door open and helped Sen inside, guiding him gently onto the couch. With a tired sigh, he plopped down beside him, completely out of breath. He was beyond grateful that he’d managed to get Sen home safely.

Taking a moment to collect himself, Charlie glanced around Sen’s apartment. It was a typical bachelor pad—minimal decor, a bit cluttered, but nothing too out of the ordinary. From what he remembered, Sen lived alone now, still looking for a new roommate after his last one moved out following constant arguments. He only had a cat to keep him company. Charlie did not see the cat. 

Satisfied that Sen was settled, Charlie turned to check if he’d already passed out—only to find Sen staring right at him. His pupils were blown wide, his gaze locked onto Charlie.

“W-what?” Charlie stammered.

“Nothing,” He looked away shaking his head and smiling. “Just realized something.” 

“What did you realize?”

“Well,” Sen suddenly seemed nervous, his fingers fidgeting slightly. “I just noticed… you have freckles.”

“Uh… y-yeah?” Charlie raised an eyebrow, unsure where this was going.

“They’re adorable,” Sen whispered so softly that Charlie barely caught it.

A sudden warmth rushed to Charlie’s face. Was Sen…? No. That couldn’t be right. He’d always heard that he was completely straight. He had only ever seen him with girls.

And even if Sen was attracted to him… that wouldn’t be good. Not good at all.

Despite himself, in his drunken haze, Charlie couldn’t help but feel a little flattered. It had been a while since someone new flirted with him. Because his heart was set on Alpha.

But it all didn’t matter! He had to remember—Sen was Alpha’s family.

It was wrong. So wrong.

“We need to get you to bed,” Charlie said with a shrug, trying to shake off the moment.

“Mmmm,” Sen smiled. “Can you turn on the TV and put something on? I usually fall asleep out here more than in my bedroom.”

Charlie scattered around, searching for the remote before finally turning on the TV. It was set to some random reality show. He tossed the remote onto the table and nervously turned toward the tipsy man.

“I’m gonna head out—”

“Wait! Stay here! You can’t walk to the bar or your place from here. It’s too far!”

“Oh yeah… I might see if I can take the b-bus,” Charlie muttered, nervously cracking his knuckles. “Or can I borrow your phone again to—”

“Just stay the night. You can even have my bed.”

“I don’t—”

“At least sit down with me for a little bit, Chuck,” Sen pressed, patting the seat next to him. “Watch a movie with me and sober up. What’s the rush? It’s only ten o’clock.”

Charlie wanted to leave, but at the same time, exhaustion was creeping in. And as much as Sen wasn’t the ideal company, Charlie’s body welcomed the social interaction.

With a quiet sigh, he sat down next to Sen, keeping his eyes glued to the screen. Sen switched over to his Netflix account.

Well, Alpha’s Netflix account.

Charlie gulped.

“Don’t tell him I’m signed into this,” Sen chuckled as he mindlessly scrolled through the listings. “He’ll kill me.”

“Oh, d-don’t worry about it…”

They both fell silent as Sen selected some random comedy movie. As it played, Charlie could not focus on anything happening on the screen. The acting was horrible, and all the jokes fell flat.

Still, as he sank deeper into the couch, a sense of relaxation washed over him. It felt good to finally sit down. Sen’s couch was surprisingly comfortable.

Charlie let his eyes drift shut for a moment, just to rest.

Maybe everything with Alpha wasn’t the end of the world. Maybe, even without him, he could still find comfort in being with friends.

After a few minutes of darkness, his eyes snapped open when he felt fingers ghosting through his hair. A shiver ran down his spine as he spun toward Sen, startled.

“Sorry…” Sen pulled his hand back, looking a little guilty but not exactly regretful.

“W-what are you doing?” Charlie stammered, his heartbeat picking up.

“I always wondered if it was soft,” Sen admitted, tilting his head with curiosity. A small smile tugged at his lips. “It is.”

Charlie’s face grew warm. “I—um… thank you.” His hands were starting to get clammy, and he wasn’t sure where to look.

Sen didn’t move away. Instead, he slowly raised his hand again, pausing just before touching Charlie’s hair, his dark eyes locked onto his. He wasn’t pushing—just waiting, silently asking for permission.

Charlie swallowed hard. He knew he shouldn’t let this happen, that it probably was a bad idea, but… the touch had felt nice.

This time, he didn’t flinch away. He let Sen’s fingers thread gently through his hair, the warmth of his touch lingering against his scalp. Sen's hands moved gently up and down before pausing. Charlie glanced over to see his hand pointing towards his eyepatch. 

“I always wanted to ask how that happened, but I didn't want to be rude?”

“You rude?” Charlie scoffed jokingly.

“Hey! I have my limits too,” Sen tugged his hair lightly before stroking it again. “Seriously though do you have an eye under there?” 

Charlie’s breath hitched, and he instinctively tensed up. His hand twitched, itching to reach up and cover the eyepatch even though it was already there, already doing its job of hiding what lay beneath. He swallowed hard.

Sen must have noticed the change in his demeanor because his expression softened. “Hey, you don’t have to tell me. I was just curious,” he said, voice unusually gentle compared to his usual playful tone.

Charlie exhaled through his nose, willing himself to stay calm. He didn’t like talking about it. Hardly ever did. But there was something about the way Sen looked at him—no pity, no judgment, just curiosity—that made it feel… different.

“It’s just… an old accident,” Charlie said finally, voice low. “A long time ago.”

Sen didn’t press further. Instead, he gave a small nod and leaned back into the couch. “Well, you pull it off,” he said with a grin. “Makes you look mysterious.”

Charlie let out a breathy chuckle, shaking his head. “That so?”

“Mhm,” Sen hummed. “Like some tragic action movie hero.” He paused, then added, “Or a pirate.”

Charlie groaned. “Oh god.”

Sen laughed, and for the first time that night, Charlie felt himself relax—just a little.

“My brother William stabbed me in the eye when I was six,” Charlie admitted flatly. The words left his mouth before he could think twice about them. He didn’t like being reminded of it, but for some reason, telling Sen didn’t feel as awful as it usually did.

Sen’s amusement faded. “Oh, shitttt. And I thought Alpha and Beta sucked.” His voice held a mix of disbelief and concern. “I’m sorry that happened.”

Charlie shrugged. “He… he couldn’t help it. I forgive him for it,” he said, more to himself than to Sen. The words tasted hollow. “He’s on the spectrum, and he was having a meltdown. I got too close, and it happened. If anything, it was my papa’s fault for not watching us.” His fingers curled slightly against his knee. “William’s in a place now that can give him the care he needs.”

Sen was quiet for a moment before he said, “Yeah, I heard your dad sucks.”

Charlie let out a breathy, humorless chuckle. “Yep.” He looked away, eyes unfocused.

Sen hesitated, then asked, “What does it look like under there?”

“My eyepatch?” Charlie blinked and glanced at him.

Sen nodded.

“It’s scarred over,” Charlie explained. “My eye was so badly damaged that I cannot even wear a glass eye.”

“So, why do you wear an eyepatch?” Sen asked, lightly flicking his finger against it. “Don’t most people wear them to correct eye issues or some shit?”

Charlie huffed, rolling his eye. “You’re so nosy.”

Sen just grinned, unbothered.

Charlie exhaled through his nose. “It’s because I don’t want to look like a freak of nature.” The words came out sharper than he intended, but there was no taking them back. Sometimes he found himself avoiding looking at himself if he was near a mirror.

Sen tilted his head. “Can I see?”

Charlie opened his mouth to shut him down immediately, but when he turned to look at Sen, he hesitated. His expression wasn’t mocking—just quiet wonder.

“O-okay,” Charlie murmured, surprising even himself.

His fingers trembled slightly as he reached to untie the eyepatch. For a moment, he kept his hand over his damaged eye, as if shielding it would soften the reveal. Then, slowly, he lowered it and turned toward Sen.

Sen just smiled.

“Chuck, it looks fine. Hell, it looks cool,” Sen said, nodding like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Anyone who says otherwise is an asshole.”

Charlie swallowed past the lump in his throat.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to show me,” Sen added, his voice softer this time.

“I just feel better when it’s covered,” Charlie murmured, twirling his eyepatch between his fingers as he stared down at it.

Before he could dwell on it too much, he felt fingers on his chin, gently tilting his face upward. His breath hitched, eyes widening as Sen traced his fingers lightly over the scars on his face.

“Brothers suck, huh?” Sen mumbled, his voice quieter now, almost thoughtful.

Charlie swallowed; his throat suddenly dry. He wasn't used to people touching him like this—at least, not gently. His first instinct was to flinch away, to pull back before the moment could become too much. But for some reason, he didn’t.

Sen’s touch was light, barely there, as his fingers traced the jagged lines of Charlie’s scars. There was no disgust in his expression, no pity either. Just quiet curiosity.

“They really do,” Charlie muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sen hummed in agreement but didn’t say anything else. Instead, he pulled his hand back and flopped onto his back beside Charlie, staring up at the ceiling like they had all the time in the world.

Charlie exhaled slowly, releasing a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He tied his eyepatch back in place, fingers steadying as he adjusted it.

“You know,” Sen said after a beat. “You don’t look like a freak of nature.”

Charlie huffed a short, dry laugh. “Yeah, okay.”

“I’m serious,” Sen turned his head to look at him, his expression oddly sincere. “You should let people see you more.”

Charlie scoffed, shaking his head. “Yeah, no t-thanks.”

Sen smirked. “Suit yourself.”

For a while, neither of them spoke as the movie played. And Charlie wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Sen kept a hand on Charlie’s shoulder, and for once, Charlie felt no obligation to pull away.

He sat there for a moment, still aware of the ghost of Sen’s touch lingering in his hair, the slight brush of his fingers against his knee as his hands rested loosely between them.

The movie droned on in the background, but neither of them was really paying attention. The room had settled into an oddly comfortable silence—something Charlie never expected to feel around Sen, of all people. He was always loud, always pushing people’s buttons just for fun. But right now, he was just… here. Present.

Charlie exhaled, letting his head fall back against the couch. “You should get some sleep,” he finally broke the silence. “You’re gonna feel like shit in the morning.”

Sen let out a dramatic groan. “Don’t remind me.” He turned his head toward Charlie, his eyes heavy with exhaustion but still glinting with mischief. “You’ll take care of me, right?”

Charlie scoffed, rolling his eye. “You’re a grown-ass man. You can take care of yourself.”

Sen smirked. “That wasn’t a no.”

Charlie opened his mouth to argue, but before he could, Sen nudged him with his elbow.

“Hey. Hey. Hey, I wanna tell you something.”

Charlie eyed him warily. “W-what?”

Sen leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Wanna know my secret?”

Charlie stiffened, heart skipping a beat. “Um—?”

Sen exhaled; his breath warm against Charlie’s skin. “I’ve never kissed a guy before,” he admitted like he was letting go of some big confession.

Charlie blinked, leaning back slightly as he processed that. “Why would you want to? Aren’t you straight?”

Sen shrugged. “I don’t know. I won’t stop liking girls—like, even though I act like a pansy sometimes, y’know? But I can’t help but wonder… is kissing a guy different?”

Charlie felt a complete shift in the room at those words.

This was heading exactly where he feared.

“It’s not that much different from kissing a girl,” he said carefully, hoping to shut the conversation down.

“Oh, is it?” Sen looked away for a moment before turning back and locking eyes with Charlie. His gaze was unreadable. “Would you mind proving that?”

“OKAY!” Charlie snapped out of whatever trance had settled over him and shot to his feet, putting as much distance between them as possible. His eyes flicked toward the door, seriously considering making a run for it. But instead, he stayed frozen in place. “No, thank you! I’m GOOD!”

Sen laughed, clearly entertained. “C’mon, just one little kiss.”

Charlie huffed, crossing his arms. “You’re drunk. You don’t even know what you’re asking.”

“You’re tipsy too! It’s just a kiss!” Sen insisted, throwing his hands up.

To Charlie, it didn’t sound like fun. At all.

“No,” he said firmly. “I bet this is just some prank from you anyway. It’s not funny, Sen—not after everything I’ve been through.”

“I’M NOT JOKING! PLEASE!” Sen whined, practically squirming where he sat. Then, suddenly, his eyes lit up with an idea. “If you don’t do it, I’ll go outside and find a random guy to kiss. What if he’s a creep, Chuck?! It’ll be all your fault, Charlie. I’ll do it! You know I will.”

“This is stupid,” Charlie muttered, turning toward the door, fully intending to leave.

But before he could take a step, Sen grabbed his wrist and tugged him back.

Charlie froze.

He had to admit—Sen was determined.

“It’s just a kiss,” Sen pleaded, his voice softer this time. “I promise it’ll stay between us.”

Charlie exhaled sharply, his shoulders slumping.

Was it that big of a deal?

Sen was right. It was just a kiss. Charlie had kissed plenty of people before. Some were out of sadness, some out of desperation, and plenty were just… casual. This wouldn’t be any different. It wasn’t like he was taken. It wasn’t like he was cheating on anyone.

“If I do it… can I leave?” Charlie turned to face Sen; his expression unreadable.

“Yes!” Sen chuckled, pumping his fist in victory. “Come here.”

They both sat back down on the couch and Sen, ever the dramatist, batted his eyelashes at Charlie in mock flirtation.

Charlie rolled his eye but didn’t bother responding. Instead, he placed a hand on Sen’s shoulder and swiftly pecked him on the lips.

Surprisingly, the smell of alcohol wasn’t unbearable.

He pulled back just as fast, only to be met with Sen’s unimpressed expression.

“What the heck was that?” Sen groaned. “Are you kissing your grandma or something?”

Charlie burst into laughter, the ridiculousness of the situation finally hitting him. “It was a kiss!”

“I thought guys would be rougher or something,” Sen grumbled, crossing his arms.

Charlie huffed, his amusement fading into mild annoyance. “Lips are lips, Sen.”

"Just saying," Sen huffed, crossing his arms.

"So… can I go now?" Charlie asked with an awkward laugh, already shifting toward the door.

"I guess," Sen sighed dramatically, then smirked. "But I give that kiss a solid two out of ten."

Charlie shot him a glare.

Sen looked him up and down, his smirk widening. "Not that I’m surprised. My brother probably loves boring, vanilla kisses like that."

Charlie felt something snap inside him.

Why the hell was Sen bringing up Alpha right now? His entire sexuality and experiences didn’t revolve around Alpha! He’d had plenty of experiences before Alpha—ones Sen couldn't even begin to comprehend.

"You’re such a little shit," Charlie growled.

Before he could think better of it, he grabbed Sen by the back of the neck and yanked him forward, crashing their lips together.

Sen was softer than most men he had kissed—softer than Charlie had expected. He half-expected Sen to shove him away, to laugh, to punch him in the gut. But instead, Sen’s fingers dug into his bicep, holding onto him.

Charlie took that as permission.

With ease, he pushed Sen back against the couch, pinning him beneath his full weight. He deepened the kiss, shoving his tongue into Sen’s mouth, and felt a rush of victory when Sen pushed back, their tongues clashing in a heated, unexpected rhythm.

And then, just as suddenly, Charlie pulled away.

A heavy wave of dread settled in his stomach as he looked down at the man beneath him.

Sen stared back at him, eyes wide and dilated in shock.

Why did he do that?

What the hell was he thinking?

“Fuck,” Sen muttered, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand—then, to Charlie’s horror, he grinned. “Ew. Hehe. So… what’s it like kissing a man? Kinda fun.”

Charlie sat up quickly, scooting away from him and rubbing his mouth as if he could erase what just happened. “Why did we do that? We shouldn’t have done that.”

“Chill! It was fun.” Sen looked him up and down, eyes still gleaming with amusement. “Maybe I’m slightly bi-curious, after all. Always wondered how strong you were, but turns out—” he smirked, “—you’re just a gentle giant.”

Charlie stayed silent, heart hammering in his chest.

That was wrong.

But… at least it was just a kiss. They were drunk. Stupid. Nothing else happened.

Then he felt a hand on his knee.

“You know,” Sen murmured, sliding a hand under Charlie’s shirt and trailing his fingers up Charlie’s leg.  “We could do more.”

“NO!” Charlie yelped, jerking away and shoving Sen’s hands off of him. “I—I need to go. I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Charlie, it’s okay!” Sen stood abruptly, but the alcohol caught up to him, and he stumbled. “Wait—”

Charlie didn’t wait.

He pushed through the door, nearly tripping over himself in his rush to get out.

He didn’t look back.

And he was grateful Sen didn’t chase after him.

Charlie stood outside Senpai’s apartment, trying to catch his breath. His heart pounded against his ribs as the events of the night replayed in his mind.

He had just made out with Senpai.

The younger brother of the love of his life.

He was going to hell.

Tears welled up, blurring his vision as they spilled down his cheeks. No wonder Alpha didn’t want him. He was a terrible person with no self-control. Before Alpha, he had always struggled with being too available, too desperate for affection. And now? Now he had just proven that nothing had changed. Maybe Alpha hadn’t left just to be “normal.” Maybe he had seen Charlie for what he was—someone incapable of being good enough.

A car honked loudly as it sped past, startling him. Just some asshole being obnoxious.

Charlie sniffed and wiped his face, his hands shaking. He needed to go home, bury himself under his sheets, and pretend none of this had happened. First, though, he had to figure out how to get back to his car at the bar using the damn bus system. At least that nightmare of logistics would serve as a temporary distraction from the overwhelming shame clawing at his chest.

Why hadn’t he just walked away when Sen started flirting? Why had he let it happen?

He shuddered at the thought of Alpha ever finding out.

If he did…

Charlie would be dead.

He was awful. So awful.

Charlie surprisingly managed to navigate the bus system with ease as he made his way to the bar. After retrieving his truck, he drove home, but a lingering unease gnawed at him

By the time he finally got home, exhaustion weighed on him. His body ached, his mind was a chaotic mess, and his stomach felt twisted in knots. Kicking off his boot, he collapsed onto his bed without even bothering to take off his clothes, burying his face into the pillow. He tried to force himself to sleep, but the night replayed over and over in his head—Sen’s hands on him, his lips, the way his voice had sounded so sure, so inviting.

Charlie squeezed his eye shut, rolling onto his back with a groan. He felt sick. Not from the alcohol, but from his mistakes. He couldn’t pinpoint the main reason why this was so messed up—maybe because of Alpha, maybe because Sen was younger, maybe because he just wasn’t the type of person who could do something like this and not overthink it.

Every time he started to drift off, his mind jolted him awake with a new worry. Would Sen regret it in the morning? Would he act like it never happened? Worse—would he tell Alpha?

After hours of restless tossing and turning, Charlie finally managed to fall into a shallow, uneasy sleep.

But waking up he didn’t feel any better.

His phone had no calls. No messages. Nothing.

It wasn’t unusual for him to wake up to nothing, but today, it terrified him.

Sen must have regretted everything. Sen must hate him now.

Even worse—what if he told Alpha?

Charlie’s breaths came in short, panicked gasps as he paced his room, mind racing through every worst-case scenario. Had he just made everything worse?

He had to fix this.

Even if Sen slammed the door in his face, even if he cursed him out, Charlie needed to apologize. He needed Sen to know that he understood what happened was a mistake. That he wasn’t just brushing it off.

But what if Alpha was there?

It didn’t matter.

Charlie grabbed his keys and rushed out the door. He had to make this right—before it was too late.

On the way over to Sen’s apartment, Charlie stopped by a drug store, trying to push down the anxiety bubbling in his chest. He wasn’t sure if showing up was the right move, but he had to do something. He wandered through the aisles, picking up a few things that might help—Gatorade, water, Pedialyte. His hands hovered over a small fruit cup, and he grabbed it, thinking it might be a light, easy thing for Sen to stomach.

It was all a peace offering. A desperate attempt to make things right.

By the time he reached Sen’s apartment complex, Charlie’s nerves were in full swing. He wiped his clammy hands against his jeans, took a deep breath, and knocked.

No answer.

His stomach twisted. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe Sen didn’t want to see him. Maybe Charlie should turn around, go home, and pretend none of this happened.

He hesitated, lifting his hand to knock again when the door suddenly swung open.

Sen stood there in nothing but boxers, his hair sticking up in messy cowlicks. His eyes squinted against the morning light.

“Charlie?” Sen’s voice was thick with sleep.

“I—I’m so sorry,” Charlie blurted, his face burning. “You don’t have to forgive me, and I’m sorry for bothering you now, but—please, tell me what I can do to make it up to you.”

Sen just stared at him. He didn’t look angry—just confused.

Charlie felt sick. Did he not remember? That made it worse.

“Uh, do you wanna come inside?” Sen jerked his thumb behind him. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“I shouldn’t.”

“Hm., Okay?” Sen rubbed his temple. “Well, my head is pounding, so I’d rather take this conversation inside.”

“Oh! Sorry!” Charlie fumbled past him, nearly tripping over the threshold. “I, uh, I got you some things from the store. These always help me after a hangover.”

Charlie handed the bag over and Sen peeked inside, his lips curling into a grin. He set the bagged items on the counter in his kitchen.

“Aww, this is so sweet. Thanks, man.”

Charlie’s heart lurched in relief. “So, uh, as I was saying…I’m really sorry—”

“I don’t regret anything,” Sen interrupted. His tone was casual, but his eyes flickered with something unreadable. “I wasn’t that drunk.”

Charlie’s breath hitched. “Huh?”

Sen stretched, yawning. “Did you get your car yet from the bar?” he asked, completely changing the subject.

“Yeah, I did, but…Sen, we should talk about this—”

"Can you take me to get my car?"

Charlie blinked at Sen’s sudden request.

"But—"

"We’ll talk about this in your car," Sen said, motioning down at himself. "I think I’d rather have this conversation when I’m more put together. Also, I just woke up. Give me a second to think."

Charlie’s gaze flickered over Sen’s body before he could stop himself. Bare chest, small frame—he’d never seen him like this before. His face heated, and he quickly looked away.

"Y-yeah. Go ahead and change. I’ll take you." Charlie cleared his throat, hoping it masked the wheeze in his voice.

"Make yourself comfortable," Sen offered, already heading toward his bedroom. "Take anything from the fridge. And if you see my cat say hello to him. He usually hides around new people but gets angry when he is ignored.”

“I’ll m-make sure to do that,” Charlie said. 

“I’ll be right back."

Charlie watched him head into his bedroom. Now that Charlie was sober, he could fully take in the state of Sen’s apartment. It was surprisingly neat, decorated with an eclectic mix of thrifted furniture, band posters, and random trinkets. It didn’t match the chaotic image Sen projected, but maybe that made sense.

"Okay, let’s go," Sen announced as he entered the living room.

Charlie glanced up, taking in his outfit. He wore overalls over a long pink shirt. It was something Charlie could never imagine himself wearing, but on Sen, it looked effortlessly fashionable. He had the fleeting urge to compliment him but swallowed it down. It would feel inappropriate given the circumstances.

"You got everything you need?" Charlie asked while standing up.

“Uh huh,” Sen held up his lanyard of keys and his wallet.

Sen went towards the door and Charlie followed behind him. They made themselves over to Charlie’s car without a word. Charlie unlocked his truck.

"Nice truck," Sen commented, popping open the glove compartment and peeking inside without permission. 

Charlie didn’t bother stopping him. His mind was too preoccupied.

He made sure Sen buckled up before starting the car and driving out of the parking lot of the apartment.

 The drive was silent.

Charlie gripped the steering wheel tighter, his thoughts looping endlessly. Should he be the one to bring up the topic? He glanced over at Sen, who was staring out the window, silent.

Was he avoiding the topic because he was afraid of hurting Charlie’s feelings?

He said he didn’t regret it, though.

What did that even mean?

Did he not regret it, but also did he not want anything more to do with Charlie? Did he enjoy the fact that he made out with his brother’s ex? Alpha and Sen were always at each other’s throats—was this some twisted act of defiance?

Or… did he not regret it because he wanted to do more?

For some reason, that last thought scared Charlie the most.

They were a minute away from the bar, and the silence was suffocating.

“Sorry I’m quiet,” Sen finally said. “I’m trying to figure out the best way to phrase this.”

“Oh… t-that’s okay,” Charlie forced his voice to stay calm, though his heart was hammering. He turned into the parking lot, relief washing over him when he saw Sen’s car still there—no tow, no ticket.

“You sure that’s okay? Because I know you’re freaking out about this,” Sen added.

“How can I not?” Charlie’s forced calm shattered. “We shouldn’t have done what we did.”

“Chill, Chuck! The world isn’t going to end. We kissed. It was fun. Big deal.”

“Not a big deal? Seriously? Who just broke up with me? And who is your brother?”

“Okay, yeah, I know. That’s why this situation is a little… uh, weird.”

“Weird?” Charlie scoffed. “I don’t understand why you don’t regret it.”

Sen turned to him with a smirk, but there was something unreadable in his eyes. “Do you?”

“Yes!” Charlie turned sharply to face him.

Sen just looked at him, his eyes softer than before. It wasn’t pity, exactly—just something sad, something Charlie couldn’t decipher. He wondered if Sen was going to leave, get in his car, and never speak to him again. He wouldn’t blame him if he did.

“I mean… come on, Sen. You must understand why,” Charlie said, his voice quieter now.

Sen hesitated for a moment, then asked, “Do you want to come inside with me?”

“Um, I don’t think—”

“I promise I won’t drink,” Sen rolled his eyes. “I’m just starving. And I want to talk about this more. Let me explain myself.”

Charlie swallowed hard. He couldn’t comprehend what more there was to explain after just admitting he regretted it. It would probably be best for everyone if he just denied Sen and apologized again.

But instead, he said, “O-okay.”

The bar was nearly empty at this hour. The quiet hum of conversation and the occasional clatter of dishes filled the space as they were led to a table near the back. A dim light flickered above them, casting an odd glow over the scratched wooden surface. Neither of them spoke as they sat, the tension between them stretching uncomfortably.

They both ordered water.

“So…” Sen sipped his water, watching Charlie.

“So.” Charlie mumbled, tracing the rim of his glass with his finger.

“I do have to say,” Sen started, a small smile tugging at his lips, “I appreciate that you came over. I was planning to find you after I felt better.”

Charlie blinked. “Are you feeling okay now?”

“Totally. Maybe a mild headache, but yeah.” Sen paused, swirling the straw in his water, his gaze flicking downward before meeting Charlie’s again. “I couldn’t stop thinking about you. As soon as you left…” He exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

Warmth spread through Charlie’s chest at the thought of being on Sen’s mind. He shouldn’t feel like this. It didn’t mean anything.

Charlie looked down at his glass, gripping it tightly as if it could steady his nerves. “You’re the one who w-worried me last night,” he chuckled, trying to lighten the tension. “You did say that you wanted to live in North Korea.”

Sen snorted, shaking his head. “Shut up! I jokingly said that if I ever wanted to drink legally at eighteen, I could just move to North Korea.”

Charlie rolled his eye, but a small smile tugged at his lips. “Okay, okay, I know , Sen. I was just teasing you to feel better.” His smile faded slightly as he looked down again. “I don’t get you. How are you so cool about this? About… what happened?”

Sen leaned back in his chair, stretching his arms before resting them behind his head. His smirk was lazy, but his gaze was sharp, watching Charlie closely. “Because I don’t think it’s as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be.”

Charlie’s stomach twisted. He wished he could believe that.

“It’s a big deal. It’s—” Charlie sighed, running a hand through his hair. “It’s messed up.”

Sen tilted his head, studying him. “Do you feel like you cheated?”

Charlie’s breath hitched. “What?”

“I mean, you’re acting like you did.”

“I didn’t,” Charlie said quickly, but the guilt still gnawed at him. “Alpha and I weren’t together. We never were together.”

“Exactly,” Sen said, leaning back. “So, what’s the issue?”

Charlie stared at him, caught off guard. He glanced around the restaurant, paranoia creeping in as he wondered if anyone was listening. Lowering his voice, he muttered, “It doesn’t matter if I wasn’t with him. The issue is that I was in love with your brother. And then, the second I get a chance to self-destruct, I—” He cut himself off, shaking his head. His throat felt tight. “I don’t even know why I’m explaining this to you.”

Sen tapped his fingers lazily against the table. “Maybe because you want me to tell you it’s okay.” His eyes flickered with amusement. “Seriously, why is it such a big deal that we hooked up just because you and Alpha had a thing? Who cares?”

Charlie stiffened. “It’s not okay.”

“Why?”

“Because—” Charlie stopped. The words wouldn’t come.

Sen hummed thoughtfully, then took a sip of his water. “You’re acting like you did something unforgivable. But you didn’t. You’re just punishing yourself because that’s what you do, isn’t it?”

Charlie’s face burned. “T-that’s not—”

“I liked what we did last night,” Sen interrupted. His voice was soft, but the words hit Charlie like a gut punch. “Not just because of Alpha. Not to mess with him. Just because you’re hot. And a nice guy to be around.”

Charlie’s pulse pounded in his ears. “You don’t even know me.”

Sen smiled, but there was something sad in it. “Maybe not. But who cares? It’s been nice getting to know you after my brothers hog you so much.”

“You never made attempts before to get to know me.”

“And now I am,” Sen said, leaning his head against his hands on the table, his gaze fixed on Charlie.

Charlie’s skin tingled as the realization settled in—Sen not only didn’t regret last night, but he was also suggesting they keep doing this. The weight of it pressed against Charlie’s chest, making his pulse quicken.

Sen reached over to grab his hand. “I think we should—”

“Can I get you boys anything?”

The waitress’s voice cut through the tension, making Charlie jolt slightly. He turned toward her, heart still pounding, while Sen sighed, clearly irritated by the interruption.

“Uh—sorry, I didn’t even look at the menu yet—”

“Girl, can you see that we are talking? Oh my god!” Sen snapped, throwing his hands up dramatically.

The waitress raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Do you want anything or not?”

Sen waved a lazy hand. “Just get me a burger, medium rare, and get him a plate of lettuce or some shit. He’s a vegan or whatever.”

Charlie shot him a glare, both surprised that Sen remembered but also unimpressed with how he was talking. He crossed his arms, turning to the waitress. “I’m s-sorry about him, miss. He isn’t feeling great and has been having a bad day.” Then he looked at Sen. “And for the record, I can eat more than just lettuce.”

Sen smirked, resting his chin in his hand. “Oh, my bad. Get him, like, a fancy-ass salad or a pile of grass—whatever makes him happy.”

The waitress exhaled sharply, scribbling on her notepad. “Got it. One actual meal and one pile of grass. Anything else?”

Charlie groaned, rubbing his temples. “I’ll just take a veggie burger. Please.”

The waitress nodded before walking away.

“See?” Sen grinned. “Compromise. We’re already making progress. And isn’t it cool that I remembered that you're vegan?”

“Yeah, sure…” Charlie muttered, looking away. At least Sen’s outburst had momentarily distracted him from the mess in his head, but still—that was beyond embarrassing.

Sen sighed, shifting in his seat. “Sorry, Chuck,” he mumbled. “I promise I’ll apologize to her later and leave a good tip. I just… I can’t control myself when I’m annoyed.”

Charlie glanced at him, still a little exasperated, but softened at the genuine guilt in Sen’s expression. “Just… try to be nice next time, okay? Remember she was just doing her job…”

“I know,” Sen sipped his water.

“But, um, y-you were saying?” Charlie asked, eager to move on from the awkward encounter.

“Oh, right! Listen—we’re both single, both probably spending Valentine’s Day alone…”

Charlie’s breath caught. Oh. He hadn’t even realized Valentine’s Day was only a week away. It was a holiday he usually ignored, but being reminded that he’d be spending it alone this year left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Or at least, he thought he’d be alone… but with how things unfolded, he wasn’t so sure anymore.

“It also happens to be my birthday,” Sen added with a smirk.

Charlie blinked. “W-what?”

“My birthday. It’s on Valentine’s Day.”

“Oh. Happy early birthday,” Charlie said, letting out a nervous chuckle.

Sen sighed dramatically, propping his chin in his hand. His gaze flickered toward Charlie, something unreadable in his expression. “Hope I get a gift from you. Maybe you can do something to make all this up to me.”

Charlie felt his face heat up. “Make it up to you? For what?”

Sen shrugged. “For feeling bad about last night. I don’t get why you’re so torn up about it.”

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, fingers tightening around his napkin. “Because it’s… I don’t know. It’s not something I should’ve done.”

Sen hummed, tilting his head. “You know, if anything, I should be the one apologizing, not you. I’m the one who came onto you. I should’ve known it was a bad idea.”

Charlie frowned. “Why? Because of Alpha?”

Sen scoffed, shaking his head. “Pfft. No. Because you’re all innocent and sheepish about this kinda thing.”

Charlie stiffened. “W-what do you mean?”

Sen gave him a knowing look. “I dunno. You just seem kinda new to sex. Aren’t you?”

Charlie’s brain short-circuited. “W-what?”

“I mean, no offense, but…” Sen tilted his head, considering him. “You seem pretty shy and reserved.”

Charlie was bewildered. This child —this infant —thought he was inexperienced? As much as he wasn’t the proudest of his past he sure as hell didn’t want to be undermined in his ability.

“Why would you think t-that?” Charlie huffed. “I’m older than you.”

Sen leaned forward, resting his arms on the table. "Older doesn’t mean experienced , Chuck. You just… give off a vibe, you know?"

Charlie scoffed, crossing his arms. "What kind of vibe ?"

Sen smirked. "Like, I dunno… you’re all shy, blushing over everything, acting like last night was some catastrophic mistake. No offense, but you kinda scream ‘never done this before.’

“I have done this before” His eyes narrowed. “Wait, wait—do you think I was a virgin before I met your brother?”

Sen pulled a face. “First of all, ew, I don’t need that visual.” He shook his head. “And second, well… yeah. You seem like the type.”

Charlie’s eye twitched. “I am not a virgin.”

Sen raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Okay, okay. My bad. You just seem… I don’t know. Innocent.”

Charlie groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “This is the worst conversation I’ve ever had.”

Sen smirked. “You’d be surprised how often people say that to me.”

“I’m not surprised at all.” Charlie huffed before crossing his arms. “Look, I am shy, but that doesn’t mean I’m inexperienced or innocent.” He hesitated, then added, “I’ve definitely slept with more people than you.”

Sen snorted. “Pfft, okay, sure. I’ve been with, like… twelve girls.” He leaned back, smug.

Charlie gave a slow and knowing smile.

Sen’s confidence wavered. “Wait… what?”

Charlie tapped his fingers against the table casually. As much as he usually liked to keep this a secret, he knew he would find a lot of satisfaction in beating Sen in this right now.

“Thirty-five,” He admitted.

Sen nearly choked on his water. “ Shut up. ” He stared in disbelief. “Shut UP! No way. No way you’ve been with more people than me.”

Charlie shrugged. “My early twenties were a confusing and wild time. S-sorry if that grosses you out.”

“Why would that gross me out? That’s a fucking achievement. ”

Charlie felt a wave of relief wash over him. Sen didn’t see it as a bad thing. When he had told Alpha, there had been judgment in his reaction—a quiet disapproval that had lingered in Charlie’s mind more than he cared to admit.

Sen gawked at him before shaking his head with a smirk. “God damn. The more I find out about you, the hotter you get, Chuck.”

Charlie’s face flamed. He lowered his voice, glancing around the restaurant. “Did my kiss feel like I was a virgin?”

“Touché,” Sen gave a lopsided grin. “It was a nice kiss.”

Charlie exhaled, unsure why that made his stomach flip.

They fell into silence as their food arrived. Sen, unfortunately, didn’t get the chance to apologize since a different server brought their meals. Charlie found himself struggling to take bites, his stomach fluttering with nerves. He glanced over at Sen, who was staring at his plate, barely having touched his food.

“Y-you okay?” Charlie frowned.

“Yeah,” Sen muttered, still looking down. After a moment, he took a deep breath and lifted his gaze. “What I pretty much want to say, Charlie, is that I keep thinking about last night.” A small smile tugged at his lips. “I know our situation isn’t ideal, but I liked what we did… and I’m curious to do more.”

Charlie swallowed hard. He knew this was coming. “Aren’t you afraid of how Alpha is going to react?”

“Screw that guy! He left you!” Sen argued, his voice heated. “He doesn’t have the right to be mad. Alpha is a self-centered narcissist. We’re both better off without him. And who says he’s even going to find out? We don’t have to tell him anything.”

Charlie wanted to ask what Sen’s plan was if Alpha did find out, but he was too scared to hear the answer. He didn’t even want to imagine that confrontation.

Sen leaned in, his tone softening. “Look, Chuck, I’m not asking you to marry me. I’m saying we can have fun—no strings attached. I like you, and you can’t deny you have some interest in me. I see it in your face. So, what’s stopping us?”

Charlie’s throat went dry. “W-why? Why me?”

Sen smirked. “Because you’re hot. I realized how hot you were ever since you yelled at me.” He chuckled, shaking his head. “I gotta admit, I’ve always been a little curious about guys. And doing stuff with you? It just makes sense. I know you, and you’re a sweet guy who cares.”

“But Alpha—”

“THIS AGAIN!?” Sen ran his hands down his face in frustration. “Are you still together?”

Charlie sighed, his gaze drifting downward. “Like I said, we never were together, but—”

“Well, there you go,” Sen cut him off, gesturing with exasperation. “There’s nothing wrong with us doing stuff together then. We’re just two singl guys who’ve both been heartbroken recently. Hmmm?”

Charlie knew Sen was looking for an answer now. The weight of the silence between them felt almost suffocating, and Charlie could feel Sen’s eyes burning into him, waiting, pressing.

As tempting as Sen’s words were, as much as his body ached for release, Charlie knew he couldn’t give in—not this time. He could feel the pull, the temptation, but he couldn’t—he shouldn’t. It wasn’t just about what they could do in the moment; it was about the aftermath. The mess, the complications.

Charlie’s heart twisted painfully. As much as he hated to admit it, he still clung to a faint hope that maybe—just maybe—Alpha could change his mind. Even if he didn’t, Charlie still wanted to be a part of his life, even if it was just as a friend. He knew Alpha better than anyone and sleeping with his younger brother would only create a mess. No good could come of it.

But still, he was struggling. The weight of temptation felt suffocating. His mind raced, his pulse quickened. For a moment, he wished he could shut down his thoughts, block out the need clawing at him. But he couldn’t. Not now. He wasn’t the kind of person who could just ignore what felt right.

How could he say no without sounding like a coward?

How could he protect himself, and Sen, without causing more harm?

Then, an idea struck him—something that might just offer him a way out. It was something he had to reveal to Sen either way eventually.

“I don’t know if this is a good idea...” Charlie’s voice was barely above a whisper, his eyes darting away, hoping to hide the uncertainty in them. “There’s something else you don’t know about me.”

Sen’s brow furrowed, confusion creeping onto his face. “What? Do you have an STD? It’s okay, I’m sex educated. We’ll use a condom. I’ve done this before—”

“NO! It’s not that!” Charlie blurted, his face turning bright red.

Sen raised an eyebrow, clearly amused but confused. “Then what?”

Charlie hesitated, the words sticking in his throat. His heart raced, his hands shaking as he tried to find a way to say this. “So, you said you’re interested in me because you’re... curious about men?”

“Yeah, I guess. That’s part of it,” Sen replied, shrugging nonchalantly.

Charlie’s stomach tightened, his breath quickening. “Well,” he said, his voice trembling,

“I’m worried that you might... be disappointed.”

Sen frowned, clearly puzzled. “Disappointed?”

Charlie’s chest constricted. He hated how exposing this was, how vulnerable he felt. But he couldn’t back down now. He had to say it. “Yeah...” His voice faltered. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

Sen tilted his head, genuinely confused. “Why? Do you have a small dick or something?”

Charlie’s face flushed with embarrassment, and he quickly looked away, biting his lip.

“S-Sorry, sorry,” Sen said, realizing his mistake. “I didn’t mean—go on.”

Charlie gathered his courage, forcing himself to meet Sen’s eyes. He had to do this. He had to be honest. “A-anyway...” His voice cracked as he spoke, the words heavier than he anticipated. “I’m a man.” He paused, letting the silence fill the space before him, unsure if he should continue. But he couldn’t back out now. “But... I’m trans.”

“You are?!” Sen let out an excited gasp. “That’s so cool! I didn’t even know, Charlie! I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to tell me.”

“T-thanks.” Charlie was caught off guard by Sen’s respectful reaction. It was... shockingly decent. “So, you don’t see me as less of a man.”

“Pfff, of course not! I’ve dated a trannie before.”

Charlie’s stomach twisted. There goes his respectful reaction. “Don’t say that word please.”

“Shit! Sorry!,” Sen said, rubbing the back of his neck. “But yeah, that doesn’t change anything for me.”

“Ohhh… okay,” Charlie muttered.

Charlie kind of wished that it did. Not in a cruel way, but in the way that would make this easier. If Sen had been weird about it—if he had recoiled, hesitated, or made a big deal out of it—then Charlie would have had a clear out. A solid excuse to walk away. But instead, Sen was standing there, grinning like an idiot, completely unfazed, acting as if nothing had changed.

It was… overwhelming.

Charlie shifted uncomfortably, crossing his arms. “I mean… it’s kind of a big deal.”

“To who? You’re still you. Still the guy who yelled at me and made me realize freckles are hot. Still the guy who’s awkward as hell but somehow really endearing.” He smirked. “Still the guy I wanna mess around with.”

He didn’t know what to do with that. He had thrown up a barrier—something that should have made Sen back off—but Sen had just stepped right over it like it was nothing.

“So what do you say?” Sen leaned in slightly, lowering his voice as he grinned. “Want to be my Valentine’s?”

Charlie’s breath hitched. His easy way out was gone. He had to be assertive—he had to shut this down without pissing Sen off or hurting his feelings.

“Sen, you are handsome, and I would like to get to know you more but—”

“Oh...” Sen’s smile faded slightly as he sat back.

“I can’t, Sen.” Charlie braced himself for the reaction. “It doesn’t feel right. I’m sorry.”

Charlie could see the flicker of disappointment on Sen’s face. His expression tightened like he wanted to argue like he wanted to push back. But instead, he closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and forced a small smile.

“That’s okay,” he said after a moment, pulling out his wallet from his pocket. He set down his credit card.

Charlie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, relieved that Sen was taking this so well. Maybe too well. A small, uneasy feeling settled in his stomach. He had expected more pushback, but instead, Sen was brushing it off like it was no big deal. That should’ve been a good thing, but somehow, it made Charlie feel even guiltier.

Sen’s eyes flickered toward him, amusement dancing behind them. “You look like you’re overthinking again.”

Charlie hesitated before shaking his head. “I’m just… surprised, I guess.”

Sen scoffed. “What? You thought I was gonna throw a tantrum?”

Charlie shrugged. “No, but I just—” He struggled to find the words. “People don’t always take rejection well. Are you mad at me?”

“No, Chuck,” Sen reassured him, waving a dismissive hand. “I still would like to hang out with you more too. Are you free to come hang with me and my friends on my birthday?”

“I could do that,” Charlie agreed without even thinking about it.

Then, the realization hit him.

What if Alpha was at the party? No—Sen wouldn’t invite him… right? But what if he showed up anyway? And even if Alpha wasn’t there, Beta probably would be. Sen and Beta got along better than Alpha and Sen did.

Oh god. Beta.

Charlie had completely forgotten about Beta in all of this.

What would Beta think? Would he be mad? Would he even care? Would he see this as a betrayal? Would he say something to Alpha?

Charlie’s stomach twisted with anxiety, but before he could dwell on it further, Sen’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Also, don’t worry about Alpha ever finding out about this,” Sen said with a casual wave of his hand. “I can be a loudmouth… but I’ll die before I let this get out to him.”

Charlie let out a breath, tension easing just slightly. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

Charlie’s heart sank a little, guilt creeping in even though he knew he had done the right thing. He had been bracing for disappointment, maybe even anger, but Sen took rejection surprisingly well.

Suddenly, Sen shot up from his seat, nearly knocking over his drink in the process. Charlie flinched, his head tilting in confusion.

“Do you hear that?! This song is amazing!” Sen exclaimed, eyes lighting up with excitement. Then, without hesitation, he extended a hand toward Charlie. “Hey, do you wanna dance with me?”

Charlie blinked at him. “Uh… I—haha—I’m not a d-dancer.”

“Me neither!” Sen grinned. “That’s what makes it fun.”

Charlie hesitated, glancing around the bar. The place wasn’t exactly built for dancing—it was just a small building with faded booths, dim lighting, and the soft hum of conversation from other patrons. But there was music playing, a bubbly pop song drifting from the speakers, something bright and upbeat.

“I think I should get going—” Charlie started, shifting in his seat, but Sen wiggled his fingers insistently, his grin never fading.

Before Charlie could protest, Sen grabbed his hand and tugged him out of his seat. Charlie stumbled forward, nearly knocking into him, but Sen caught his wrist and steadied him.

Charlie exhaled sharply, feeling self-conscious as Sen placed a hand on his waist. His heart pounded—partly from nerves, partly because this whole night had taken such a weird turn.

Sen, on the other hand, seemed completely at ease. He swayed them side to side, humming along to the music, his grip firm but gentle.

“You’re stiff,” Sen pointed out.

“I told you I don’t dance,” Charlie muttered.

“Then let me lead. I know that I’m short but…,” Sen said, his voice softer now. “Just follow me.”

Charlie hesitated but eventually let himself fall into the rhythm Sen set. It wasn’t perfect, and it wasn’t particularly graceful, but it was… nice.

For a moment, Charlie let himself forget the messiness of his life right now—the awkward confession, the rejection, the lingering guilt. Right now, it was just the two of them, slow dancing in a mostly empty bar, sharing a moment that felt strangely intimate despite everything. 

It made him feel young and free. 

Sen leaned closer suddenly to Charlie’s ear. 

“You know if you ever do change your mind,” Sen murmured, his voice teasing but with an undercurrent of sincerity, “I’ll still be here.”

Charlie shuddered. “I know.”