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“Thank you, my boy.” Demetrius grunts, letting go of his son's arms as he sits on the worn couch. The leather cold against his back as he leans against it.
“Sure, Appa.” Dante sighs, sitting next to him and handing him a glass of water. Demetrius takes it wordlessly, gulping it down. Silently, he places it on the coffee table, giving a slow yawn. Eyes lidded and tired.
The air around the grows thick, a chill running down Dante’s spine. They’re both exhausted, the second round of chemo practically hitting Demetrius like a truck and sucking the energy out of him like a straw. Dante gives a bittersweet smile, remembering how he had slept for quite literally 24 hours straight after he was treated. He frowns again, remembering they both still had quite some time to go.
Demetrius notices his son dissociating, coughing softly. “Are you alright, Dante?”
Said son snaps out of his day dreaming, looking over to his father. His face with its pronounced cheek bones, and eye bags so heavy they cast shadows along his entire face startles him for a moment. He still hasn’t gotten used to his father looking so… so sick.
“Ah…I was just…thinking…” Dante admits, looking down. Not being able to bear looking at his father's sickly expression. “...what was I like when I was younger? Like…as a baby?”
Demetrius smiles, thinking for a second. “You were fat.”
Dante rolls his eyes, “Wow, thanks.” he imagines himself as an infant. Just a bundle of warm blankets with a little (or maybe big based on his fathers descriptions) face sticking out. Chubby little legs unable to hold up the little body they're attached to. Eyes with not a single thought behind them.
“You were also really talkative, I remember…” His father chuckles, continuing “The first night I brought you home, you babbled and cried for hours…I couldn’t sleep for days.”
“You also were a little grabber…always yanking at my hair…or clothes…couldn’t get a moment away from you.” Demetrius snickers, his smile worn and tired. “You were like my little shadow…always crawling up behind me and gnawing at my ankle or something of the sort.”
Dante grins widely, “I can assume I got in trouble a lot?”
“Oh yes…yes you did.” Demetrius grins back, hands over his eyes. “I remember…we were outside, and I lost track of you…” he smiles, reminiscing over simpler times. “I found you surrounded by rabbits. You were their 'king' you said. You cried non-stop after I told you we couldn’t bring them home.”
His son can’t help the wheeze that leaves his mouth, giggling to himself. Imagining a tiny little baby as the king of the rabbits. His cruel father taking him away from his people as he cries like a banshee. Shame.
“Those were my valiant denizens thank you,” Dante grins, trying hard to picture the memory. “I must’ve been the most righteous ruler of the rabbits.”
Demetrius rolls his eyes, “I’m not sure ‘righteous’ is the word, maybe ‘Tyrant of the Rabbits’ would be a better way to describe your leadership.” He snickers, deciding graciously to leave out the part where Dante decided the best way to enrich his rabbit folk was to put them against each other in a brawl to the ‘death’.
“I sounded like a lot of fun to have as a baby.” Dante chuckles, low voice husky with years that have flown by. His father sighs, voice just as raspy. “You were…definitely an experience…”
Demetrius smiles, “But look how you turned out…” He grins, suddenly bursting out into a coughing fit, the world reminding them of reality. Dante places a gentle hand on his father’s back, supporting him until he can finally breathe again.
The two sit in silence, the awkwardness growing heavy around them. Dante’s eyes water, watching his father gaze off into the distance, eyes glossy and dull. Slowly, the bubbling questions brewing in his gut decided enough was enough. He wanted to know, wanted to know about his upbringing.
About his appa.
“What were my first words?” Dante ponders aloud, finally working up the courage to look his father in the eyes again. The old man looks up from his dazed day dreaming. He processes the question for a moment, before giving a sad smile.
“Amma. Your first words were amma…” He whispers, voice barely audible. Dante’s chest tightens, looking away again as tears threaten to spill over.
“I think it was because I talked about her so much…” He chuckles, eyes turning glossy as he wipes his eyes with his sleeve.
Dante feels a pang in his chest, shutting his eyes for a moment. He had never gotten to meet his mother, he always wondered who she was. What she enjoyed, the little things his parents would do together. He dislikes, hobbies, little quirks about her he'll never see or understand. Inside jokes, her past. All robbed from him, just as he opened his eyes for the first time.
He lets out a shuddering breath, “What…what was she like?”
Demetrius looks at his son, eyes smiling. “Oh she was wonderful…kind, smart…she was everything I could have asked for and more…” He chuckles, looking away as tears well in his eyes.
Dante can’t help but feel a sting of sorrow, tightening and coiling in his chest like a snake. Heart beating quickly as he tried desperately to picture a face, remember a photo, anything. His mind turned up blank.
“But hey, it’s okay that she’s gone. Really.” Demetrius coughs, a single tear rolling down his face. His son sniffles, choking on unshed tears “Why?” He gasps softly, voice cracking unattractively.
His father smiles, his face gently lifted by the soft expression. “...because if not for that, I wouldn’t have you.”
Dante gives into the need to weep into his father’s shoulder. Burying his face into his shirt as he cries silently. Demetrius cries as well, tears finally spilling over as he holds his son like he might disintegrate before him.
“I-I’m right…I’m right here my boy…” The father sobs, hugging his son tighter than he ever had before. What little strength he has from the chemo, and years of dismissing his own health, he squeezes his son. He would hold his child for the rest of his life if that would make him happy.
Around them the world fades away, replaced by memories and feelings of love. Mixes of “I’m sorry” and “I love you” and “I wish I understood you sooner” fill their hearts, tears running down cloth as they hold each other until they’re both breathless.
“I love you…nae agi..” Demetrius chokes, squeezing his eyes shut. “I love you too appa…so much…”
They sit there, silently. Embraced in their warm hug, the reality haunting them cast aside for the few moments of normalcy they are graced with.
Maybe everything will be alright.