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Part One: Drizella’s Crisis
Drizella Tremaine was having the worst day of her entire life.
And that was saying something, considering she’d already lived through Cinderella marrying a prince, her own humiliating failures at the ball, and lots of embarrassing moments they simply did not talk about.
But this? This was worse.
“It’s not FAIR!” Drizella shrieked, throwing a hairbrush across her room.
Lady Tremaine, her mother, stood in the doorway looking distinctly unimpressed. “What now, Drizella?”
“That cat!” Drizella pointed out the window, where Slipper — Cinderella’s fluffy, pale blue kitten — was currently being wooed by two male cats in the garden.
One was a distinguished gray American Shorthair wearing a green star necklace (Tour from Jewel Land, not that Lady Tremaine knew or cared). The other was… Lucifer. Lady Tremaine’s own cat. Her loyal companion. Currently presenting Slipper with a dead mouse like some kind of romantic gift.
“Lucifer is… courting Cinderella’s cat?” Lady Tremaine said slowly.
“YES!” Drizella wailed. “And the other one — the gray one — he brings her jewels! That cat gets more male attention than I do! I’m a human and she’s a cat!”
Lady Tremaine twitched. Absurd. Unacceptable.
But she could not ignore it.
“We’ll fix this,” she said coldly.
“How?!” Drizella threw another brush. “I can’t compete with a cat that sparkles!”
Down in the garden, Slipper giggled, sprinkling sparkly gems over the flowers.
“Slipper Sparkle!”
Drizella screamed into a pillow.
Lady Tremaine’s eyes narrowed. “If we can’t get rid of the cat… perhaps we can redirect one of her suitors.”
Part Two: The Most Unreasonable Plan Ever
Lady Tremaine cornered Tour the next day while he was delivering a tourmaline gem to Slipper.
“You there,” she said. “Cat.”
Tour blinked. “Me? I’m Tour! Nice to meet you!”
“Yes, charming. I have a proposition.”
Tour tilted his head. “A proposition?”
“You’re refined. Excellent taste.” She gestured toward herself. “My daughter Drizella is similarly distinguished. Beautiful. Accomplished. Human.”
“That’s… great?” Tour said politely. “But I’m kinda busy courting Slipper—”
“Forget the kitten. Marry my daughter.”
There was a pause.
“Ma’am… I’m a cat.”
“Love transcends species!” Lady Tremaine barked.
“I mean… okay, but she’s fifty times my size and I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in multiple dimensions—”
“One million jewels.”
Tour’s ears twitched. “…Keep talking.”
“Marry Drizella. Leave Slipper.”
He thought about it. A million gemstones. Adventure. Wealth. But then he remembered Slipper’s sweet smile and the way she said her signature phrase.
“No deal,” he said finally. “I love Slipper.”
Lady Tremaine went purple. “HOW DARE—”
But Tour was already gone.
Part Three: The Love Triangle Nobody Asked For
Lucifer and Tour realized their rivalry was serious.
“She’s mine,” Lucifer growled.
“Actually,” Tour said, “Slipper gets to choose.”
“She wants me. I live in a mansion!”
“You live with Lady Tremaine. That’s not a flex, dude.”
They lunged at each other, rolling across the garden in a blur of fur and fury.
“Boys! Please don’t fight!” Slipper cried.
They froze immediately.
“Slipper,” Tour said, “you’re amazing. Kind. Creative. You make everything sparkle.”
“Slipper,” Lucifer interrupted, “I left Lady Tremaine for you. That’s how much I care.”
“You left her?” Slipper gasped.
“For you.”
“That’s... really sweet? Both of you!”
“So who do you choose?” Tour asked.
“I... I can’t,” Slipper admitted. “I care about both of you.”
“Then don’t choose,” Tour said. “We’ll both court you.”
Lucifer sputtered. “That’s not—”
“Why not?” Tour smiled. “Love’s an adventure.”
Slipper’s eyes glowed. “Really? You’d both be okay with that?”
Lucifer grumbled. “Fine. If it means I get to be with you.”
And just like that, Slipper had two boyfriends.
Upstairs, Drizella screamed so loudly the whole neighborhood heard it.
Part Four: The Staircase Incident
Lady Tremaine was not handling life well.
Her cat had left her.
Her daughter was single.
And Cinderella had invited them to tea — to “discuss the situation.”
“Absolutely not,” Lady Tremaine hissed, storming toward the door. “I’m going to— AUGH!”
Her heel caught the carpet. She tumbled down the grand staircase — the same one that had seen so much family drama — and landed with a thud.
Drizella screamed. “Mother!”
But Lady Tremaine didn’t move.
Lucifer, watching from the landing, blinked once. Looked down at Drizella kneeling by her mother’s side.
Then turned away and left.
He had a date.
Part Five: The Aftermath (This Is So Messed Up)
The funeral was small. Drizella sobbed. Anastasia mostly looked relieved. Lucifer did not attend.
“He lived with her for years!” Drizella cried.
Anastasia shrugged. “He’s a cat. Cats don’t do funerals, and he obviously doesn't seem to care.”
Drizella had no comeback.
Meanwhile, at the palace, Slipper was curled up between Tour and Lucifer.
“This is nice,” she purred. “You know what would make it better?”
“What?” both toms asked.
“Slipper Sparkle!”
Tour laughed. Lucifer sighed but smiled despite himself.
And somewhere far away, Drizella was still single and furious.
Epilogue: Six Months Later
Drizella gave up on romance and opened a bakery.
It thrived. Anastasia married a baker.
Cinderella hosted the palace’s first-ever pet commitment ceremony.
Lady Tremaine remained definitively dead.
Lucifer hadn’t thought about her once.
Sometimes guilt flickered in — the memory of that stairway.
But Slipper would brush against him, giggling, and whisper her catchphrase.
“Slipper Sparkle!”
And just like that, the guilt would vanish.
Because Lucifer was a cat.
And cats don’t have time for guilt when there are sparkly gems — and love — to enjoy.