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“I spent my whole life not believing in you.”
“Bucky…”
Bucky shakes his head, cutting off whatever it was that T’Challa was going to say. It wouldn’t have made a difference anyway. Nothing ever makes a difference, and this is why he would have rather never known him. This is why it would have been better if they’d never met, and he would’ve never known what he could have had.
It would certainly hurt less now.
“It’s not fair,” he whispers. “I spent my whole life thinking it was bullshit—that soulmates were a sham and I was better off without the thing that everyone else had already found… I would see you in my dreams, in a strange world where everything looks different. And I thought to myself that my soulmate must really be someone special. But I never let myself hope. I never thought we could be together. And… and I think I was okay with that. And then, I finally meet you and it turns out you’re a million times better than my greatest dreams… Now you’re just going to leave again?” His voice cracks which does nothing to soothe the ache in his chest. “It’s not fair,” Bucky whispers again.” It hurts even more to watch the pain on the other man’s face through the tears in his eyes, knowing that this is as hard on him as it is on himself.
“I’m so sorry,” T’Challa says softly. The words sound so small. So insignificant in the face of their helpless situation. They’re silent as they try to memorize each and every detail of the other’s face, not knowing if they’ll every see it again.
For as long as they can remember their bond was tested through distance and separation. And now, after only a few days together, it feels like the life they could have had is slipping through their fingers.
“I can’t be on the other side of the world from you again,” Bucky says through gritted teeth, furiously shaking his head. “I can’t!“
“Bucky, I–I have responsibilities. I can’t stay, I’m sorry.” The ache in his heart is unbearable as he watches the pain in Bucky’s eyes. But he has no choice. “I must return to Wakanda.”
The tears that fall from Bucky’s eyes trickle down his cheeks, and T’Challa wants nothing more than to pull him into his arms and hold him, like he did the precious few nights that they spent together.
"I’ve dreamt about you too,” T’Challa says softly. “For years–my whole life, really. It almost felt as though I knew you, though we’d never met. I knew you’d be everything to me… I saw you growing up in my dreams, in the city that you love. I saw your accident.” T’Challa’s eyes glance down at the metal prosthetic that lays still at Bucky’s side. He remembers the pain and the fear that he felt during that time. The mind numbing, paralyzing terror that he might lose something so precious to him, that he might never feel Bucky’s presence again, whether in his dreams, or one day… in real life. “Every time I closed my eyes I would see your face. I feared… I feared we would never meet. But now…”
Bucky swallows the hard lump in his throat. He wants to remember this feeling. The ache in his chest, the flutters in his gut, and the way he feels lightheaded just looking into T’Challa’s eyes. It hurts… but if there’s one thing he’s learned from his recovery, is that feeling pain is better than feeling nothing at all. He reaches out his hands, both flesh and metal, and takes T’Challa’s in his own. Shivers run up his arms when they touch. He wants to remember this forever.
“It’s better with you,” he murmurs softly.
“Come with me.”
Bucky blinks. “What?”
“Come with me,” T’Challa says again. “To Wakanda.”
“I…” Bucky pauses to really consider what that means. “My whole life is here. Everyone and everything I’ve ever known, my friends… I—I can’t just leave…”
“Bucky, I know it’ll be hard. And I know I’m asking so much of you, but I swear to you, I’d spent every moment of every day making you happy and loved. We… we could have a life together.”
“Your people would never accept me,” Bucky whispers.
T’Challa shakes his head. “We’d make it work. We’ll figure it out, whatever happens, as long as I have you, as long as we have each other… that’s all that matters to me.”
Bucky bites his lips as he watches the man before him. He’s terrified of allowing himself to hope once again. But as he imagines the future that they could have together… it suddenly seems so real, as if he could reach out with his hands to grab it out of the air. “You’re going to be king one day,” he says softly.
T’Challa nods solemnly. “I want you there when it happens.”
Bucky gives a wry smile and a short laugh. “My soulmate’s fucking royalty, who would’ve ever believed that?”
“Does this mean you’ll come with me?” T’challa whispers.
Bucky sniffs and blinks away the remainder of his tears. Slowly, he nods, but he doesn’t get the chance to say words because T’Challa captures his lips in a kiss. Their arms wrap around each other and they pull their bodies close, unable to be apart any longer.
“We’re going to make this work,” T’Challa murmurs when they finally part, gasping for breath. “We will, I swear it. I love you, Bucky.”
Bucky smiles softly as he nods. “I’ve loved you my whole life,” he whispers.
“And I’ll love you for the rest of mine.”