Work Text:
“Hi there, Kurt Hummel speaking.
You may wondering why it’s me and not Blaine talking to you. And, dear viewers, I may answer your questions: today we will take a tour inside Blaine’s room. You may know Blaine and Sebastian are best friends. And I befriend the two of them some while ago. And it’s Blaine’s birthday tomorrow, so he invited me to his birthday’s party. Truth be told I may have invited myself. Anyway. Blaine and Sebastian left few minutes ago to do some shopping, and I was not allowed to go with them because (and I quote them) “You’re way too famous to hang out with dumb guys like us”.
So after wandering into their living-room, I found Blaine’s vlogging camera and I decided to give you the room tour you are all dreaming of. Let’s snoop into Blaine’s stuff.”
***
> Kurt, why did I found a very disturbing video on my vlogging camera ?
> Because I shot one :D
> You filmed my underwear’s drawer. Wierdo!
> You went through all my books… OMG, Kurt. I won’t ever leave you alone at my place!
> That’s the plan, Blaine…
> Never leave me alone. Ever again.
> Deal. (heart emoji)
***
“Hi there, Blaine speaking.
Last Saturday was my birthday. You can see a lot of that night on Seb’s and Sam’s channels – links below, as usual. And I invited Seb’s BFF, Kurt and we left Kurt alone in our place for something like one hour and that creep went through my room and filmed it.
The initial footage was 45 minutes long. I did edit it. And you will have a nice 15 minutes tour of my room, with Kurt’s comment.
Do not like this video, do not share it. If you do so, just think about the message it sends to that creep that Kurt is. He will think this is normal to snoop into my stuff like. (laughters). He did film my underwear drawer, and, yes, I cut that part out.
So enjoy this “bonus” video…
See you on Friday !”
***
“Let’s look at those pictures hang on the wall. So a cute one of little Blainey with Cooper. That’s cute. Look at those scrapped knees. What happened Blaine?”
(Blaine is in his room, as he was in the intro) “I felt down. Happy?”
“Oh. The Fault in Our Stars? (the camera facing his face) Blaine, did you cry?”
(Blaine is in his room) “Can we not mention the bright and great Augustus in my presence? Thanks you.”
“Oh. My. God. Does Blaine have a collection of nice pens? Yes he does. Let’s test them out. (opens one pen) “Oh it’s a fountain pen! As Blaine could be more… (sight) Oh Blainey-boy.”
***
“Hi there, Blaine speaking.
Last Tuesday I posted a video made by Kurt. I asked you not to share it, because Kurt filmed a tour of my room, my very private room. And of course, it’s my most viewed video ever. So Kurt is over the moon. Let me read you the text he send me last night “Blaine, I may stop acting and start taking over your YouTube channel. Because I am way more popular than you are.” So, just tell me. My BFF Sebastian replaced me months ago, you could too beloved audience. Let’s forget about me (laugh).
And now, on to the video, this week…”
***
>> I won’t ever replace you, you know.
>> And you never told me if you watch the whole footage of your tour room. Because there is a super private surprise for you at the end. After a few minutes of nothing.
>> I won’t ever replace you, either.
>> Looking for the private footage.
>> OMG ! KURT !
>> ;)