Archive of Our Own

Chapter 3: Into The Yellow Of It

It was quiet.
That was the first thing Riley noticed through the haziness and sluggish pace of their mind. No gossiping, no angry shouting, no crying. There was noise in the background…that was probably where the others were.
The second thing they noticed was how deep they must’ve slept. Their face was smooshed deep in their sleeves; really deep. Their entire head still felt heavy and motionless. The only reason they stirred was the realization that they had drooled in their sleep again. A small puddle had dripped onto their arms and the table, and it felt wet. Yuck…
Riley inhaled, starting to wake up at a snail’s pace, and moved their head a few inches away from the drool puddle, still not opening their eyes. Everything felt like snug syrup and waking up seemed ridiculous. The nap they took had felt so good…they wanted it to keep going…but then they realized a third thing.

The third thing they noticed was that someone was patting their head.

Riley opened their eyes and stirred, now awoken. They moved slightly and lifted their head sluggishly, still partly asleep. They could barely see anything…it all looked like a bunch of dark blobs…did they even have their glasses on…?
The minute they moved up, the hand that had been gently patting them retracted and Riley heard the small noise of an arm with short sleeves moving.

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to wake you up!”

Riley blinked again moved their arms away from crossing, immediately moving to stretch as hard as they could, waking up more.
That voice. That voice was bizarre. They hadn’t heard anyone talk like that. It was…high pitched and bubbly, but not quite enough to be annoying. It sounded kind and sweet like a glass of lemonade in the summer, or a mug of hot cocoa with extra extra marshmallows and whipped cream.
Riley looked up and squinted hard, still trying to figure out what was going on.
Lake Lazuli. Now they remembered. The vacation trip. The traffic. Bikini Bottom. Random restaurant. Violent stink-eye. Old Man Krabs…

There was someone at the table with them on the opposite side. That was clear. All they could see of whoever it was was yellow. Pure yellow. A sunshine-colored, blurry blob moving around with all the other fuzzy outlines of what was near and the impossible-to-decipher shapes farther away.

Riley wiped the drool dribbling down their chin and squinted even harder. “Hmmm?”

The yellow blob jumped up slightly, as though it realized something. “Oh, you need your glasses, don’t you?” It exclaimed.

“…Mm-hm.” Riley nodded slowly. They rubbed their eyes again and stretched more. Whoever this was, at least they were friendly. Albeit they would have enjoyed the head pats a little more if they weren’t a surprise touch.

They stopped rubbing and saw black fuzzy sticks with the yellow blob’s smaller blobs. Hands…?
“You were sleeping on your glasses at a funny angle and I didn’t want you to bend ‘em funny. I tried to wake you up earlier but you sure are a deep sleeper!”
The small yellow blobs and fuzzy sticks got super close and Riley flinched, closing their eyes, but instead of something poking them or hitting them, there was the sensation of their glasses being slid onto their head for them.
The hands helping them went back again and the glasses started to slide. Riley pushed them up and stared, blinking yet again as their vision cleared up.

The first thing that they saw was a smile; the biggest, brightest smile they ever saw, just as bright as the yellow.
Riley’s eyes felt punched again, especially when they saw the eyes: bright battery blue, like someone infused the sky with supervitamins and wrapped it up in two spheres.
They’d never seen someone so..shiny before. It was difficult to see anything other than that strange, friendly smile and those colors, but then finally the details of the yellow mystery sprung out and balanced it out. They could actually see. About time….
Whoa…!
Riley really wasn’t expecting this. In just one day they had seen an octopus and a crab for the first time, but here was a sea creature they’d never thought they’d actually see in their lifetime:
…A sea sponge!
He (Was it a he…?) didn’t even look how they heard sponges looked like. He was square, first off. And that shade of yellow he was stood out like a star in the sky. His smile was so big it nearly took up the bottom half of his rectangular face, with two buck teeth and freckles on the cheeks at the ends.
He looked pretty young. Heck, probably only a little older than Riley theirself. The only thing that kept him from looking exactly their age was the red tie on his outfit against the white shirt and brown, square-shaped pants with a black belt.
Still, he didn’t look that old at all. Maybe he was some kind of trainee? He definitely had the same tall white hat that the other employee had worn.
The sea sponge smiled at Riley and causally put an arm on the table.
“Hi!” He said happily.

Riley froze and stared a little, confused. No one usually approached them to say hi. No one rarely approached them at all.
“Uh…hi?” They said a bit cautiously, raising their hand in a tiny wave.
“So, what’s your name?” He asked.
Riley expected someone else to answer. Why would he be talking to them? Still, no one did, and they were pretty sure he was looking expectantly at them.
“…Me?” They said, pointing to their chest.
The sea sponge nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah!”
“Oh, uh…I’m Riley.” They said, partially mumbling.
“Riley, huh? Cool name! Nice to meet you, Riley!”
“…Uh…thanks.” They said, not really sure how to feel. This guy definitely wasn’t like anybody they ever knew. Usually Mom and Dad said if people spoke like that, they were just acting desperate for attention. But yet, whoever this was didn’t seem like he was introducing himself for that reason. Then again…appearances could be deceiving…

“…What’s your name?” Riley asked back, resting their hands on the table.
“Mine?” He looked momentarily confused, then smiled. “Oh, right! Silly me, I’m so used to everyone knowing my name, I forgot to say mine!”
He extended a hand across the table.

“The name’s SpongeBob. SpongeBob SquarePants!” He chirped.

Riley stared for a bit, then slowly reached out their hand and shook, grinning slightly.
“Nice to meet you, too.”
SpongeBob, huh? That was a funny name. Certainly didn’t sound like any name they heard before. Maybe it was a common name among sea sponges? Nothing about him seemed common however, even for his species.
“So, if you don’t mind me asking, what’s a sea snake doing in Bikini Bottom? I don’t think I’ve ever seen one of you guys around here before!” SpongeBob asked.
“Oh, uh…we got caught in a boat jam on a highway, and drove through here to take a shortcut… then my sisters and brothers got hungry and my parents heard this place was famous, so we stopped by.” Riley explained.
“Famous? Well you aren’t wrong. This place is pretty great! The Krusty Krab here is the greatest eating establishment in town!” He gestured in a sweeping arc around the whole area.
Riley giggled. This guy clearly loved his job.
“Yeah, it definitely caught my mom’s eye. Normally with popular things my sister Maureen would know what’s up with tha-“
They turned to point out Maureen but she wasn’t there. Neither was Sophia. Or the twins. Or James.
Riley froze, confused and shocked. “Uh…”
They frantically looked around the table and past SpongeBob.
They were still in the Krusty Krab. Most of the customers from earlier must’ve all left. There were only a few left with a couple of new ones coming in.
The sky outside was slightly darker with more clouds now. How long had they been asleep…?
There was one thing that distinctly stood out however, and that thing was the fact they were entirely alone at the table besides SpongeBob.
None of their siblings were there. Not even the babies and littles were in the room. And Mom and Dad? Gone without a trace too.
Riley stood still as a statue, cold and stone starting to swirl in the pits of their stomach.
“Um…where are…my parents?” They asked nervously. The back of their neck tingled as though oil were trickling down. This felt…unnatural. They shouldn’t be here with no other Slithers…that was wrong. That was wrong. This felt VERY wrong.
Now it was SpongeBob’s turn to look nervous. The smile twitched and pulled into a grimace instead, wincing through his teeth.
“Uhh…well, they…um…well, funny story actually but they, see, um…” he stammered, making animated, anxious hand movements.
Riley started to get up from their seat, trying to process what was going on. Where was Lynn and Peter? Or Ruth and Herb? Where was everyone??
“And my sisters? And my brothers??” They now slithered around the table, eyes scanning the eatery for any signs of a scaly tail or a pair of bright yellow eyes, or any sounds of hissing.
Nothing. Why nothing. Why was there nothing. Where were the other Slithers?!
Riley turned to SpongeBob. If he worked here, he had to know where they were, right!?
“Where’s my family??” They demanded, barely keeping the panic out of their voice. Their hands shook.
SpongeBob almost shrank, squeezing into a squished square out of something that looked like…dread?
Uh oh. Had they said that too harshly? They didn’t mean to snap, they were just a little scared. They didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable. They shouldn’t have yelled…if he knew where they were, he might not even tell them now.
“Are…are they all in the bathroom?” Riley said, trying to sound a little nicer or smaller. “Or the parking lot?”
He impossibly shrank into himself even more. Bigger uh-oh. “Uh…” he inhaled deeply and expanded back into his original shape. “Well…Riley. They, um…well, it’s funny because…or, actually, it’s not that funny, but…” he continued to stutter, now wringing his hands and refusing to meet their eyes.
Something felt especially more off now. Why was he so hesitant?
Riley slinked a little more up to the table, trying to hide how afraid they really were.
It didn’t really seem to be working though. The minute this SpongeBob dude met their eyes for a second his eyes filled to the brim with dread and some kind of…sad compassion? He looked like he really felt bad for them…but why?

The door opened, and the cashier from before walked in.
Whoa. He WAS an octopus. A tall, turquoise octopus with tentacles for hands, a yellow-brown polo shirt, and a very big forehead and nose. He wasn’t wearing that awful look he was shooting Mom and Dad a while ago, luckily. If anything he looked a ton more…bored. Like, permanently bored and annoyed. Kinda like James, but less angry and more… disappointed with everything in existence.
He didn’t notice Riley and immediately locked eyes with SpongeBob.

“I just went down to the tourist center and asked around. Apparently that kid’s family JUST left town. They straight-up forgot them and just left them right here.”
He informed with a very nasal and monotone voice. SpongeBob’s face shifted to an expression of panic and quickly swung his hand back and forth around his neck, signaling the octopus to stop talking.
The cashier shot him a puzzled look, then saw Riley out of the corner of his eyes and turned to look at them.
“Oh…they’re awake.” He observed. “You have awful timing with that.” He said to Riley with a snarky tone and walked off.

Riley barely noticed it or anything after the first two sentences. Nothing had been floating before, but even so, now the whole building felt as though it was crashing around them, crumbling in on itself to dust.
Mom and Dad…left them here? No. No! This wasn’t happening! That couldn’t be true!!He had to be wrong. Or pulling some kind of sick joke?! Mom and Dad had forgotten them a few times before, but they would never leave them alone at a restaurant and leave town, would they!!? No, no, they wouldn’t, they wouldn’t. They’d come back at any second, they were probably already on their way back now, worried sick…if Riley believed what they just heard, which they didn’t! They couldn’t believe this, they WOULD NOT believe this!!! Please, it couldn’t be true…
Sharp cold and heat pulsated through their body in waves, dark red static filling every crevice in their mind and almost obscuring their sight. They were shaking all over. Their hands could barely hold still at all, vibrating as though they were in an earthquake. Tears threatened to spring up in their eyes. No. No, they were 14, they couldn’t cry in public…but everything felt like it was falling apart like a broken window.

“Riley?”
Through the haze, they glanced up.
SpongeBob was standing in front of them. He was looking at them with that sympathetic look again, and leaned forward a little, gently as possible.
“I know this must feel scary a bit, but it’s going to be alright, ok? We’re going to get your parents back here and it’ll all be okay.” He said softly with a small smile.
“You’re going to have to calm down though. Take a deep breath…”
Riley tried to but the minute they breathed in deep, sharp pains jutted into their rib cage, cutting their breath. They exhaled shakily, a ringing now in their ear holes along with all the other things.
“I’ll do it with you, ok?” SpongeBob said again quietly. Riley hesitated but nodded, and they both breathed in at the same time.
Riley wasn’t a little kid, but they had to admit, that made them feel a lot better. They even found it funny how when SpongeBob breathed deep with them, his pores stretched in a goofy way. No one had ever reacted that gently when they had gotten stressed.
The tears retreated and the static cleared. The ringing even stopped. Good. Good. They felt way better now.
“Feel better?”
They nodded.
“That’s good.” SpongeBob said, smiling wider. “There you go. Things will turn out ok in the end, just you wait. I’m sure your parents and siblings are racing back here right now, ready to scoop you up in a giant group hug of relief!” He happily piped up.
Yeah…he was right, their parents would come back. They had too. There’s no way they’d abandon them. He had to be right.
They took a breath and forced a small smile.
A door opened behind them and the sound of that Old Man Krabs person walking sounded from it.
“SpongeBob, we got orders comin’ through on th’-“
He stopped short behind Riley, seeing them.
“——That kid’s parents STILL haven’t come back yet??!” He blurted out.
Everything flooded back again and Riley couldn’t fight the tears this time. Immediately two tears streamed down and plopped on the wooden floor, their lip starting to quiver.
“Ah ha ha…!” SpongeBob laughed awkwardly and reached out, grabbing Riley’s shoulder. Riley jumped from the unexpected touch.
“Whhyyyy don’t we go outside and watch for the boat? Maybe they’re on their way right now!!” He added quickly and jerked his thumb towards the door.
Riley sadly nodded and wiped their eyes, following him.
“Was it something I said?” Old Man Krabs asked as they went out.

As soon as they were outside, SpongeBob stood by one of the windows, eagerly looking out at the street.
Riley slumped against the opposite window, sitting down. More tears fell down their face like watery ribbons.
They couldn’t believe this. Were they really THAT quiet…? They never thought them being more introverted and quiet than their siblings was a bad thing…they just never liked being loud and obnoxious like the other kids. Yet, they barely got noticed, and now…
They sniffed, trying to hold it in, but more bitter salt surged in their eyes and soon the trickles of tears began to pour more intensely. They felt like the worlds biggest loser…whoever heard of being so forgettable your own parents left you behind in an unknown town??
“You ok?” SpongeBob asked again in that gentle tone. Did they look ok to him…?!
No. That was mean. They shouldn’t be angry.
Riley sniffed and breathed deep, wiping their eyes more vigorously.
“Y…Yeah. I’ve just…never been on my own before.” They answered in a small voice. Talking felt hard again. They swallowed a bunch of lumps.
He nodded. “I’m sorry, Riley, this must really sting…but you seem like someone who could handle what life throws at you!”
They looked at him skeptically. “Really?”
“Yep! You seem like a pretty tough gir-“ he started to say, but then he paused, squinting at them. “Hmmm…hold on, not to be rude…but you don’t really seem like you’re a girl.”
Riley blinked and stared, but not in an offended way. No one ever said that before, but it felt…nice.
“Well…no, I’m not really a girl.” They nodded, tugging on their sleeves.
“Should I call you a boy instead?”
They thought about that and wrinkled their scalebrows.
“Um…no, I’m not really a boy, either. It’s complicated, but I’m just…me, I guess.” They slowly explained.
They braced theirself for the weird looks and the uncomfortable questions and sentences.
Those always happened…- ‘but why would you not want to be a boy or a girl?’ ‘Aren’t you a girl anyway?’ ‘Maybe you’re just confused.’ ‘You’re being kind of silly about this.’
It was practically a standard routine every time someone noticed that they squirmed slightly whenever someone called them a she or a he.
But to their surprise, the statements never came. Instead, SpongeBob just nodded and smiled. “OK! If you’re a Riley, then Riley it is!” He said, pumping his arm.
Riley chuckled, surprising theirself. They didn’t feel like laughing at all, but that was so absurd and well-timed, they couldn’t help it.
“Are you a girl or a boy? Nope, you’re a Riley!” SpongeBob exclaimed.
Riley giggled even louder and smiled at him. Nobody had ever reacted like that to when they told other people about their…’no-girl, no-boy’ thing. It felt kinda refreshing for someone to just…accept it like that. He didn’t even make a face of skepticism or disgust.
Heh heh… this SpongeBob guy was funny. But…funny in a good way. They’d only known him for probably not even a half-hour, but he felt like they’d known each other for a long time. They even found theirself wishing they had someone like him for a brother or a sister.
…brother and sister…
The growing comfort and cheer fizzled and Riley slumped against the windows, frowning again.
SpongeBob tilted his head and looked both a mix of confused and sympathetic.
“So, uh…is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” He sprung up.
“I think we have ice cream and other stuff in the freezer rooms! We could have them out here while we wait for your parents!”
Riley thought about that. “…Sure, that’d be great.”
They weren’t hungry but honestly ice cream sounded amazing. Hopefully it didn’t make them more sleepy.
SpongeBob beamed and perked up even more.
“Well, then, let’s go see what we can find!” He turned to the door and swung it open, only for a loud impact noise to sound.
“OW! SpooonngeBob!!!”
The cashier was on the inside, clutching his face and glaring angrily.
SpongeBob shrank. “Heh heh…sorry~” he said in a small, sweet voice.
The cashier looked as though he wanted sink his tentacled fists into SpongeBob’s soft body multiple times as hard as he could.
“I need you both to come inside. Now.” He hissed through his teeth. It would’ve sounded a lot more menacing if his voice wasn’t so muffled and even more nasal from him cradling his nose.
Riley went in and tried to stay near SpongeBob, throwing a small, nervous glance up at the octopus guy. They weren’t afraid of him that much, but he sure didn’t seem like a pleasant guy, and if he was like that, Riley did NOT want to talk to him. Or interact with him in general.
Even so, the cashier looked directly at Riley and took his hands off his nose. Riley cringed at the ugly bruise forming from where he had gotten whacked with the door.
“Kid, I need your parents’ number. Do you got it or not?” He said irritatingly.
His tone made Riley shrink a little. “Uh…I think I have it in my notebook…” they mumbled and swam back to the table, grabbing their backpack.
They pulled out their favorite notebook and flipped through the pages. Among all the doodles and art studies, there were scrawls of class notes, reminders, and phone numbers in the margins. And there, in the corner of a page of favorite animals playing poker, was Mom and Dad’s number.
“Here.” They bent the page to hide their art.
The cashier looked and made a strange noise like a tired, dismissive grunt. “Alright, wait here, I’ll call them.” He said, rolling his eyes and walking back to the boat-shaped counter.
Riley unbent the page and tried to smooth it out. Darn, the sea bunny character now looked like he had uneven eyes.
“Crap, my drawings all bent..” They muttered under their breath.
“You draw?” SpongeBob asked, looking intrigued.
Riley tensed up. They remembered what followed whenever someone asked that.
“…A little, but it’s not very good.” They replied. Hopefully that deterred him.
“I’m sure it’s not that bad!” SpongeBob said happily. “Squidward’s an artist too, he draws all the time!” He pointed at the cashier now working on dialing a conch phone.
Squidward? Wasn’t he an octopus, though? HE was an artist, too? Really?? He didn’t look at all the type.
“Well…ok.” Riley opened up the page and showed him.
His eyes widened significantly. “Whoa!!” He leaned in.
Riley winced in preparation.
“You’re really good at drawing! This looks great!”
“…Really?” Riley replied.
“Awww, the sea bunny and scallop look so cute!”
“…heh, they’re actually supposed to be best friends. The sea bunny is secretly letting the scallop win the game.”
“Ohh that’s so sweet!”
“Thanks! I draw a lot more than animals too..”
They sat down at the table and SpongeBob sat down with them. Soon, they were showing him their artwork they were the most proud of.
Oh wow…no one ever did this.
Not once in Riley’s life, ever, did anyone say their art was great and that they should continue.
Mom and Dad had always made their opinions about their art habit clear.
Their siblings always said it was weird and stupid.
The kids at school called them ‘brain-damaged’ and ‘dazey’.
But…he actually smiled. Like…them being an artist was…ok.
Or maybe he was just saying all that to be nice…
Riley would have thought about that more but then Squidward walked over.
“Ahem.”
They both paused the art party.
“I keep getting your parents’ voicemails telling me to try again later. Are you sure you don’t have some kind of phone YOU have to call them?”
Riley squirmed. “Well…I do, but…their numbers aren’t on there. My dad kind of blocked it.” “—What?! Why??”
“So I wouldn’t bother him and Mom during their work.”
Squidward wore a look of pure disbelief and disgusted exasperation, then he smacked his face out of frustration. “Urgh, fine, I’ll try to call them again, but there are customers also calling in too, and trust me, the more customers are lost, the more Mr. Krabs will lose his mind. And you don’t want to be around that grizzled old cheapskate when THAT happens.” He grumbled.
Riley gulped. If he wasn’t trying to intimidate them, then that didn’t sound great;
especially when they remembered how big and sharp his claws were…and how angry he was about Reagan wandering off. He certainly wasn’t the kind of guy Riley wanted to tick off.
“Oh, don’t worry about a thing Squidward says; Mr. Krabs is one of the greatest guys I know! He may seem a little tough and gruff when you first meet him, but really under that hard shell, he’s a big ol’ softie!” SpongeBob remarked, flipping his hand in a dismissive manner.
“Right.” Squidward scoffed. “Well, either way, we close in two hours, and you know how he gets when less and less customers come in in the final hours.”
Both SpongeBob and Riley froze in shock.
“We close in two hours?!”
“You close in two hours?!”
“Yeah?? It’s 4:30, we close at 6:30, remember?” He snarked mainly at SpongeBob.
“Aww…” SpongeBob whined, slumping.
Panic and dread washed over Riley again.
“But…but what if my parents aren’t back by then??? You said they went out of town, what if they’re really far away by now??” They squawked.
“Don’t worry! There’s no way they’ll go that far without you! Even then, they’ll totally be back by then, no matter the distance! Why, I bet they’re racing back here this second!”
SpongeBob insisted. How was he still so positive about all this?
“They better be.” Squidward grumbled.

The other Slithers weren’t back by then.
Riley stood near the door, watching the sky turn into a blend of oranges, pinks, and purples, their hope for their family returning waning with the sunlight.
Two hours…and Mom and Dad still weren’t here.
Their eyes swam with tears but didn’t spill over. They felt so pathetic and hopeless…but it wasn’t like they could do anything about it.
Heck, by this time, they all were probably at the lake house, splashing in the crystal blue water and sitting under the beach canopy in the garage after setting it up on the pale gray and white lakeshore.
Mom and Dad would be anyway, relaxing while Dad typed on his laptop more and Mom took a big drink of the wine she stored in the pantry there.
Maureen and Sophie definitely would be taking selfies and sunbathing.
The twins were probably playing volleyball with James and Peter in opposing teams, smack-talking each other as harshly as they could to distract them into losing.
Herb and Ruth often got stuck looking after the little kids when Riley couldn’t. They all were definitely splashing in the water and swimming around, or more accurately, Herb stood around annoyed while Ruth was at the bottom of the lake, grabbing seaweed or anything else she could find to freak Maureen and Sophia out.
Lynn, Nicole, and Mateo probably were playing Marco Polo or tag in the waves…
Carsten and Hailey loved making sandcastles there…they were probably doing that…
and the babies, well, they were most likely just crawling around, living their lives.
For embarrassing Mom and Dad back at the Krusty Krab, Reagan was probably grounded back in her room at the lake house, crying her little eyes out…
If Riley was there at the house, they’d have joined her, although she wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere near them usually.
None of their family likely didn’t even notice they were missing. They liked to picture a little that James would think about them and would be worried when he couldn’t find them, but they were just kidding theirself…James didn’t give them the time of day, why would he start caring now…?
Maybe Maureen would take notice? No, who was Riley joking, Maureen would be happy to see they weren’t there…the only reason she’d be concerned is because she’d have no one to bully for being the family weirdo.

SpongeBob came back inside after watching for the boat.
He caught Riley’s eye and sunk sadly.
“…No sign yet.” He reported, disappointedly.
Riley expected that answer now, but it still made them sigh and their shoulders sink.
“I’m…sure your parents will call or be back any minute, buddy…” he said again, putting a comforting hand on their back. Riley doubted that. Even he sounded unsure at this point.
“…Thanks, SpongeBob, but I don’t think they’ll be back anytime soon. They probably haven’t even noticed I’m gone…” They said miserably.
“Aw, don’t say that! You’re their kid after all! Your parents wouldn’t forget their own child!” He affirmed.
Doubt still gnawed away at Riley’s chest.
“No…I’m pretty quiet. They don’t even know I’m there usually, especially with how many siblings I have.”
Riley looked out at the still empty street through the windows.
“I don’t think they even know my own name half the time. I’m just…forgettable, I guess.” They stated, rubbing the back of their head.
SpongeBob stammered something. He looked shocked and angry and exasperated and a bunch of other emotions smooshed together on his face, flashing like a stoplight.
Was he mad at…them? Or losing his mind? Had they been too annoying and got him to the end of his rope? Maybe they shouldn’t have complained or brushed his positivity off?
“Well, I don’t think you’re forgettable!” He burst out after a few more emotions shifting across his yellow face.
“I don’t think you’re forgettable at all!! That’s downright crazy! If anything, I’m not very happy with your parents not knowing your name and ignoring you!!” He crossed his arms and now his face showed frustration from what Riley could tell.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, kiddo, but when your parents come back, and they better soon, Id like to have a talk with them about not taking the time to make sure their kids aren’t all there!!!” He stated, right hand on hip and left thrust in the air pointing at the sky.
Riley felt their mouth pull into a weak grin despite how rotten they felt, but they really hoped he didn’t when they came back. First they’d get angry at him for daring to talk to them that way, then they’d be even angrier with Riley for 1, making them drive all the way back there, and 2, making them look bad in front of a whole restaurant.
Squidward walked up pulling on a loose gray jacket, his hat now gone. “Well, I hate to say it, but it’s almost 7. We’re closed.” He didn’t sound very upset about it and headed for the door.
“Squidward, wait, we CAN’T close!! Riley’s parents haven’t come back yet!!” SpongeBob exclaimed, grabbing the end of the jacket.
“SpongeBob that kid’s parents clearly aren’t coming, and I have a life too!” Squidward exclaimed back. “We already stayed up an extra half hour, and Mr. Krabs had to go and pick up Pearl from school late because of this situation. I barely got any sleep last night, ok? I’m tired and I’m going home. You want to stay here with them then do that, OR you can just call the cops, but I tried calling their conceited life-givers 14 times now, and last I checked, no one says ‘15 times the charm!’”
“I do. I say that about every number!” SpongeBob protested.
“Of course you do.” Squidward grumbled. “I’m going.” He glanced over at Riley. “Kid, if your parents ever come, save a lecture for them from me too.” He said angrily and left.
Oh great. Now Mom and Dad would have an extra reason to ground them for eternity. It was clear that ‘Squidward’ wasn’t fond of them either, and now Riley suspected that both this ‘Pearl’ person and ‘Mr. Krabs’ weren’t too. Now Riley messed up a bunch of people’s lives AND worse, wasted their parents’ time.
All because they took a stupid nap.
“Squidward, wait!” SpongeBob called, then sighed and closed the door. “Well, since all Squidward seemingly cares about is giving up-“ he threw a resentful look at the direction the cephalopod walked off in-“I guess you and me got the whole place to ourselves!” He smiled at Riley.
“Are…you sure I’m not…I dunno, ruining something for you?” They asked dejectedly.
“What? Of course not! It’s not like it was your fault anyway!” SpongeBob confirmed. “My schedules wide open!” He looked confident but then paused. “…except for that one thing I have…and a couple a’ things I need to do at home…” he scratched his chin and furrowed his eyebrows. Then suddenly he smacked his forehead in realization.
“Oh carp! I haven’t even told my babysitter what’s going on!! She must be wondering where the halibut I am!! Fish paste!!!”
“Babysitter?” Riley repeated. “Wait…you have kids?”
SpongeBob nodded as he worked to dial the conch phone. “Yep! Well, one anyway, so far. Just got her a few months ago!”
Riley struggled to process that, then felt bad. This whole time he had a family, and he was staying up late to make sure they found theirs?
“No..it’s ok, you don’t need to call her.” They said slowly and grabbed their backpack. “I’ve got lots of money in here, I can just go to a motel nearby and sleep there for the night.”
They expected him to be ok with that. After all, that meant he could go home and Riley would stop wasting his time. Better yet, Mom and Dad would be much more impressed if they found them at a fancy hotel, being independent on their own rather than finding them at a common fast-food place with a worker who wanted to lecture them on something Riley did. It was just easier for whoever was involved.
What they didn’t expect however was SpongeBob flat-out dropping the phone and running out after them as they said that and left.
“Whoa whoa WAIT a minute, Riley!!!” He shouted, running in front of them. “I can’t let you do that!!”
“Wh-why?” They protested, bewildered.
“For one, you’re just a kid! You said you were just 16, right??”
“…14.”
“14?! Then that’s even worse! You’re way too young to just go over to a random motel when it’s this late all by yourself!! You need to stay somewhere with a grown-up!” He explained, flinging his arms open.
“But I don’t even know anyone here!”
SpongeBob uncrossed his arms. “…oh. Yeah I guess so, you mentioned you’ve never been here before…”
He blinked and thought about something long and hard, getting an idea.
“We-elll, you know me. You could…stay at my house for the night, if that was ok with you.” He offered.
Riley was taken aback. They had been to all their school PSAs, they knew going to a house of someone you didn’t know was a TERRIBLE idea, no matter what. Then again, they never heard about what to do in THIS kind of situation. Still, they didn’t know SpongeBob that well. They’d only just hung out for a couple of hours. Sure, he seemed nice…heck, nicer than anyone they’d ever met before, but even so…
Wait. Riley remembered something crucial: they were literally a sea snake. One of the most venomous creatures in the sea! They literally had fangs loaded with potent neurotoxin! Even on the rare chance he tried something, they could just bite him, right?
“Um…are you sure?” They inquired.
“It’s better than you wandering around here at night, to be honest.” He shrugged. “This town is great, but sometimes there can be a little…rowdy activity around this time if you catch my drift.”
Off in the distance, a motorcycle revved and somewhere, a bunch of people started to fight, emphasizing his point.
Riley nodded halfheartedly. “Yeah…you’re right. Ok, I’ll stay the night at your house then, if it’s not a problem.”
“Of course it isn’t a problem! My house is right down the road! We’ll be there in no time!” SpongeBob said happily and led the way, humming as he went.
Riley hesitated and looked back at the restaurant. The lights were starting to dim and the doors were already closed.
They looked over at SpongeBob and started to follow.
Hopefully while they were at his place, Mom and Dad came back…