Work Text:
1. Sometime before Cailian Manor
"They say Li Xiangyi fought his way through one hundred of Jingyuanmeng's elite fighters just to get to Di Feisheng during that fight on the east sea," A-Fei said with an air of disinterest after Fang Doubing had spent half an incense time yammering on about Li Xinagyi. "It's probably why he lost the fight."
Before Fang Doubing could speak up in protest, Li Lianhua chuckled and said, "Oh, I heard it was ten sailors and Di-mengzhu's personal bodyguard and that the fight was a draw."
Fang Doubing scoffed at this as well, "How could Li Xiangyi lose to Di Feisheng? Anyway, it's not like either one of you were there." He threw back the dregs of his tea cup angerly and missed the amused look that A-Fei and Li Lianhua shared.
2.Sometime after Cailian Manor
"When Li Xiangyi went to confront Di Feisheng at the east sea in that year, he only wanted his shixiong's body back," Li Lianhua explained as they carried the coffin up the mountainside.
Fang Doubing was all eyes and all ears. A-Fei was not helping carry the coffin but he did offer some commentary in the form of a huff.
"Well," Li Lianhua added, "he might also have wanted some revenge? Who knows, I wasn't there. I heard they fought for hours though."
"Hours? It was more like an incense time before Di Feisheng won," A-Fei said.
"You! Why do you always take that villain's side?" Fang Doubing demanded.
Di Feisheng smirked, "He was the superior martial artist, why shouldn't I?"
"Mn," Li Lianhua said before Fang Doubing could explode. "He was very good. It's a shame he's dead now."
"Didn't you hear? They say he's back," A-Fei said.
Li Lianhua dismissed this, "Some former Sigumen people got a little excited, next they'll be claiming Li Xiangyi is still alive too."
"Wouldn't that be something?" A-Fei said.
"Could he be? If Di Feisheng is still alive, couldn't Li Xiangyi be too?" Fang Doubing asked.
"We would have surely heard from him before now if he was," Li Lianhua said. "Xiaobao, you're about to walk into a boulder."
"I am not."
3. Post Rescue from Jiao Liqiao's Lair
"The rain was coming down so hard all of the lanterns on the boat had gone out."
"Aiyah, Lao Di, the rain didn't start until after I threw you off the boat."
"Didn't it?"
"Wait, he threw you off the boat?" Fang Doubing asked. "Didn't you destroy it in with a blast of internal power?"
Li Lianhua frowned, "Why would I do that? What a waste of internal power and a perfectly good boat."
"You wouldn't, but Li Xiangyi would," Di Feisheng pointed out.
"Possibly," Li Lianhua admitted. "Anyway, after I threw Di Feisheng off the boat I had to fish him out of the water and drag him onto the beach, that's where the majority of the fight happened. That's why he wants to fight on that same beach again."
Fang Doubing nods eagerly, somehow managing to forget that he's seen Di Feisheng swim before. "What happened after you dragged him up onto the beach?"
"We fought," Di Feisheng said.
"We had a footrace," Li Lianhua said.
"See, him I believe," Fang Doubing said, pointing at Di Feisheng, "you not so much."
"Believe what you want. We had a race and he won."
4. Post Defeating Shan Gudao
"You know, I'm regretting that he wasn't actually dead back then," Di Feisheng said, slipping an arm under both of Li Lianhua's to hold him up.
"Lao Di, don't fuss, I'm fine," Li Lianhua said as he blinked to clear his vision and slumped down onto Di Feisheng's arm.
"Sure, just like you were fine when I won the fight on the cliffs at the east sea."
Fang Doubing looked up from where he was cleaning blood off his sword, "There were cliffs? Why were you on the cliffs? I thought you were on the beach?"
"We were on a boat," Li Lianhua said.
"It crashed into the cliffs, so we jumped off to continue the fight there. Then he passed out."
"I was resting my eyes. The rain got in them."
"It wasn't raining."
5. Post Canon (insert miraculous Bicha poison cure here [.....] )
"Just how exactly did the battle on the east sea go, the real story this time," Fang Doubing demanded as he poured them all tea.
"The real story?" Di Feisheng asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Nobody knows what really happened in the fight between Li Xiangyi and Di Feisheng on the east sea," Li Lianhua said.
"Except the two of you," Fang Doubing said. "And you always make up something absurd every time you mention it in front of me, don't think I haven't noticed."
"No more absurd that what you hear in the average marketplace," Di Feisheng said.
Li Lianhua hummed and nodded, "Although the one where we had destructive breakup sex was clearly a fabrication."
Di Feisheng nodded soberly. "That never happened."
Tea came out of Fang Doubing's nose. "What?!? Where are they telling that story, I'll teach them to make up such lies." He'd half drawn his sword and risen to his feet.
Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng both burst out laughing.
"Sit down Xiaobao, I made that up."
Fang Doubing sheathed his sword and sat down, fuming. He grumbled so loudly to himself about lying lotuses that he didn't hear Di Feisheng's sotta voice sure you did.
+1 Donghai battle
Two men.
One boat.
Under the moon on the 27th day of the 12th month.
Anything could happen.