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Life was… complicated.
The stars never shone brighter; at least from what he could recall.
The roof of the supermall was isolated—with the exception of himself. It was nice to be away from everything, everyone. The wind was cold, the types that seeps into your body, but it wasn’t much of an inconvenience. If things got too cold, the self-heating blanket he brought would suffice.
Besides, the cold wasn’t the main problem. It was the only thing reminding him he wasn’t alone.
No matter the allies or enemies in his life, the only constant companions will be him, the stars, and the cold.
Ever since Golf Ball’s elimination, he’s gotten used to being alone.
Sure, he got along with the others. At least, he believes that there’s at least a cordial relationship with most of the contestants. There were hiccups, mainly because of his actions, but that’s fine! Winning takes everything, and he has nothing to lose.
However, until now, he hasn’t felt… lonely. He’s always known that there were others—their willingness to help him with things varied on the individual—but he’s at least never had to be alone.
Now? After what Golf Ball said, he truly felt alone. The only person who could help is himself.
What was the need for help though? He doesn’t need her, he never has. He’ll never say it to anyone, but he knows that Golf Ball hinders him. She's intelligent, possessing a mind he could only wish for, but are there any other benefits?
The factory could be one, after all he’d need his own space to invent. He’d also need a partner who is able to point out the flaws in his craft and be there to assist when needed. Someone with the intelligence that he possesses.
On second thought, maybe he did need her. How about the positives? He may not have her brains, but he’s not so bad himself. He has brains and a heart that people can sympathize with. He has everything he could ever need!
Who needs Golf Ball, what does she know. She talks too much about the rules. She acts like they’re never changing, like they’re something to be worshipped. Rules can be bent, maybe even broken. Hasn’t she understood that? She once told him to throw Match into the incinerator, isn’t that against some rule, or ethics?
The factor of intelligence with rules is how you approach them. And he’s well versed with the rules.
She just doesn’t see it. She doesn’t understand. He’s winning for the both of them! BFDIA will be their victory. Their reward. Their “I told you so to the world”. Who cares about the way he wins? Pin was an asshole ever since she got her regained her size, face, and gained her mech suit. No one ever questioned her methods! She just doesn’t understand.
Winning takes brutality. You need to take it by force. He’s going to take it by force.
Whether Golf Ball likes it or not.
You can’t always be the good one. Good people don’t always win. The winners are the ones who drive through no matter what, no matter the cost, no matter what they loose.
Golf Ball has to see that. She has to forgive him. She will. Once he wins the farm… ew… she’ll see! She’ll realize he was right.
He is right.
Of course he is.
The wind is starting to get colder. It smells like rain. He should go inside, but that’s not his main focus right now.
“I’m fine. I’m going to win.”
“She’ll understand, she has to.”
“This will be a thing of the past.”
No matter how many reassurances he whispers to himself, nothing can penetrate the coldness within. He’s alone. His only ally, true ally, the one he thought he’d win for, doesn’t want him to win.
Oh my tennis ball factory, he is a villain.
What kind of ally betrays the other? For a challenge that he never even won. He’s been horrible to everyone.
That’s why people don’t tolerate him anymore.
Book gives everyone sympathy.
Maybe Coiny tolerates, but maybe not. He’s always felt Coiny was hiding most of his negative feelings.
Whatever, no matter who cares about him and who doesn’t, there’s the fact that he’s alone. No one else will accompany him in the quiet of the night, the conundrum of called his mind, the spaces where he doesn’t know how to think about himself. He’s alone.
But he doesn’t have to be.
Maybe he shouldn’t sacrifice everything over winning.
Maybe winning is not about the farm, but peace with himself. Winning won’t fill the void of loneliness. Winning won’t bring Golf Ball’s respect back.
Next challenge, maybe he should try to win with his intelligence. …That is, if he doesn’t get eliminated. If he does—well, even if he didn’t—he owes everyone an apology.
Maybe things weren’t over for him just yet. Perhaps salvation still waited patiently.
Rain drops fell on his head, making his felt grow damp. He grabbed the blanket with his mouth and went back into the supermall. The roof would no longer be a suitable place to stay; In order to reduce chances of illness. If he’s going to be better, his body needs to be in perfect condition as well.
Tomorrow was a worry, but he shouldn’t worry about that. Not yet. Not when the problems of today are unresolved. Today, he just needs to go to sleep.