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Robert figured the person he kept his eye on the most as the Z-Team fought Shroud probably should’ve been Invisigal, all things considered, but she was pretty difficult to keep tabs on.
The person Robert actually kept his eye on the most as the Z-Team fought Shroud was Flambae.
The last person Robert took a lingering glance at before he went home that fateful night was Flambae.
The last person Robert thought about before trying to sleep that night was Flambae.
The person Robert had thought about the most since that night was Flambae. Of course it was Flambae.
On his first day at SDN – as he waited for Blazer in the lobby, as he watched the shitty commercials play on TV, as he fixed up Waterboy’s tie – Flambae burst through the front door and strutted through the lobby. All of a sudden, Robert’s attention was no longer on Waterboy’s tie. It was fixed solely on the man who controls fire and flame, the man he’d had a run in with at the bar the night before, the man he realised in this moment was fucking attractive.
While he was taken aback a little in the moment, the concept of finding Flambae attractive wasn’t something that came as a shock to Robert. He was very comfortable with the fact he was into men just as much as women, he’d just never dated any men. During his first stint as Mecha Man, he’d only had a few hookups with guys, never anything serious, and only after he was dumped by his last girlfriend.
Robert was not, however, expecting in that moment that this would become a thing for Flambae. Finding out he was quite literally a flaming homosexual didn’t help his case. Robert pretty quickly developed what some might call a crush on Flambae. He was fucked from the beginning.
Flambae’s usual flirty demeanour on the job didn’t help either, especially when he gave Robert little nicknames like Bob Bob. That one in particular made him really hot under the collar for some reason.
The next couple of weeks were a mix of trying to ignore his budding feelings and subtly flirting, depending on his mood on any given day.
Things came to a head somewhat the day Torrance was plunged into darkness by a blackout.
Robert decided to head to the gym before his shift and eventually found himself struggling for one last rep on the bench press. Luckily for him, he wasn’t the only one in the gym that morning. Unluckily (or perhaps even more luckily) for him, the person who came to his rescue was none other than Flambae.
“You’re not supposed to lift without a spot, idiot.” Flambae poked as he helped Robert lift the bar. “So weak. So, so weak.”
Robert groaned. “Now I’m getting a safety lecture from a walking fireball.
“It’s a reality check. Normies need babysitters so you don’t hurt yourself thinking you’re a hero.” Flambae replied, starting his own set of squats. “Man, I am so fucking strong, it’s crazy.”
Robert didn’t exactly disagree with that last part. “Thank you for being my babysitter, I will be more careful next time.”
“Fuck off.” Flambae spat. “Wait, that was genuine?”
Robert just shrugged, looking away.
Flambae walked back over to Robert, patting him on the head. “No more hero stuff without supervision. You can’t get injured cause we need you behind that desk to help the real heroes.”
Robert decided that two could play that game. “Uhh… actually speaking of injuries, remind me who took your tooth? It’s like they only stole that little bit.”
“I got into a fight with an actual real actual hero.” Flambae said, leaning in close to Robert.
An actual hero, huh? Robert thought.
Flambae continued. “And I assure you; he’s regretting his decision to tangle with me.”
Robert was starting to like how this was playing out. “I imagine he’s regretting a lot of his decisions.”
“That’s fucking right.” Flambae grinned. “And you, it’s time for you to accept that you don’t got it anymore, and pretending you still do is bumming people the fuck out. Now, get your flat ass off my bench.”
Robert had another moment with Flambae over the Z-Team’s comms during the morning shift. Flambae had apparently heard about Robert going on a date (maybe someone got the wrong idea seeing him catch up with Blazer?), and Robert decided he’d be a little bold after their encounter in the gym.
“You jealous or something? Look, if you wanted to grab dinner, all you had to do was ask.” Robert smirked.
“Yeah… you’re not my type.” Flambae shot back, his voice still a touch playful.
Robert pretended not to be at little hurt by that. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
As if Flambae somehow knew how to make things worse for Robert, he continued. “Oh and, if you’re keeping score, made out with another British guy last night. The Brits are repressed as fuck.”
A part of Robert wondered if that could still bode well for him. After all, he probably had a fuckton of repressed feelings, right?
Robert was even more fucked.
During the afternoon shift, the city of Torrance lost power. As the Z-Team scrambled to the influx of jobs they’d been called out to, Flambae piped up over their comms. “What’s a good line to text a guy in a blackout?”
Robert rolled his eyes. Of course Flambae was texting a guy. Probably that British guy he talked about making out with earlier.
“I’m looting the Ralph’s, you want anything?” Robert suggested, wondering if maybe it was dumb enough to get Flambae ignored by whoever was receiving this text.
Malevola was the next to give input. “Oh, um, you always did look hotter in the dark.” A little cheesy, probably better than Robert’s idea.
Golem spoke up next. “Just say boo.”
“Golem… you’re a genius.” Flambae said smugly.
Just as the comms finally went quiet, Robert’s phone lit up with a notification.
Flambae – 1 unread message
boo 😉
Robert had no idea what to do now. Flambae had just talked about making out with some other guy (granted he probably did that most nights by the sounds of things), and had also just said that Robert wasn’t his type. Surely he wasn’t now hitting on Robert.
In a panic to give a quick response, Robert sent back his own suggestion.
To Flambae – I’m looting the Ralph’s, you want anything?
Maybe he thought it was funny. Maybe he thought Flambae might find it cute. Who’s to say?
Flambae fired back his own quick reply.
Flambae – fuck off
They didn’t talk about it.
The tension between them from the day’s work reached a boiling point that night.
Invisigal had asked Robert what was holding him back from telling the team his true identity as a hero. Robert had recounted most of his history with Flambae to her. He was terrified that not only would it ruin whatever tiny chance he had with Flambae, but that it could tear the Z-Team apart.
Just as Robert finished telling Invisigal about that good old time he maimed Flambae in a fight, Flambae launched into the chorus of his karaoke number.
“I’m a bitch, my name’s Robert, such a bitch whose name is Robert
I’m a bitch, yeah I’m a bitch, I’m such a fucking bitch”
Robert wondered where Flambae had learned such artistry.
“I have no hopes, I have no dreams, and a tiny little peen
and it doesn’t even function anyway becauseIhaveerectiledysfunction”
Robert thought, if even for half a second, about what it could be like to prove Flambae wrong about that.
Just as Flambae was finishing his song, and Prism replaced him up on stage, Robert was approached from behind. A bar fight of sorts broke out, some might say.
The Z-Team had successfully beaten the shit out of just about every villain in the bar. It was just past three in the morning. Robert, with a little bit of liquid courage, decided that for the Z-Team to fully trust him, they needed to know who he really was, even if he feared the worst.
“I’m Mecha Man.” Robert said, looking at the team earnestly.
The team gave their own shocked reactions, but the one Robert was bracing for was Flambae’s.
“It is you, you little shit.” Flambae spat, his hands igniting.
In a blink, flames shot from Flambaes hands, straight at Robert. To his surprise, he remained alive, or at least unscathed, after Flambae was done. Golem had stepped in between them at the last moment, and remained there until Flambae gave up, the last of his flames extinguished by Waterboy.
Flambae looked around at the Z-Team before taking off. “Fuck you. Fuck all of you fucking fuckers.”
Lighting up in a ball of flames, Flambae took off into the night.
Robert figured in that moment that he’d well and truly fucked it.
Eventually, Flambae came back to the team, apologised, and even seemed to get along with Robert better than ever. If Robert cherished the lamp Flambae gave him at the housewarming party, and gave it pride of place in his apartment, that was between him and Beef.
After the events of Robert’s housewarming party, Chase made an incredible sacrifice to save Invisigal from Shroud, collapsing after putting her down. Flambae began constantly checking in with Robert, more than any other Z-Team member, and accompanied him a couple of times to visit Chase in the infirmary. It brought Robert great comfort in a time where his whole world felt like it was caving in, even if Flambae vocalised that he feared the worst about Chase.
On the day the Z-Team was tasked with saving the city of Torrance and the wider Los Angeles area, from the Red Ring, Flambae came over the team comms, swamped by his assignment at the time.
“Fuck it, whatever… this is too much, Robert. I- I… might not be strong enough for this.” Flambae grunted through gritted teeth.
“Maybe.” Robert replied bluntly.
Flambae seemed offended and confused for a moment. “Ex-fucking-scuse me?”
“You heard me. Maybe you’re right. Maybe you’re not strong enough for this.” Robert doubled down before continuing. “But… I think you are.”
Flambae caught on. “Wait… you’re doing that reverse psychology thing… and it’s working.”
Robert smirked, knowing it wasn’t the time to try any more flirting. “You can kick my ass after this is all over.”
Eventually, the Z-Team took down Shroud and the Red Ring. The fight between them felt like a blur. Blazer went down hard. Chase came back, seemingly from the dead, to help them put Shroud on the ropes. Shroud held Beef hostage. Robert fooled Shroud into taking the wrong pulse, causing him and his Red Ring associates to violently throw up, giving Robert a chance to strike.
Shroud shot at Robert. Invisigal jumped in front of the bullet. It still went through her and hit Robert, but she stopped it from being a lethal blow. Robert got up and beat Shroud within an inch of his life but spared him. He could rot in jail for good, it’d almost be more satisfying for Robert after everything.
As Invisigal was taken to hospital to check her bullet wound, Flambae spoke up. “Holy shit. She took a bullet for Robert… something I would never do.”
Robert could hear the tinge of playfulness in Flambae’s voice as he walked past him.
The last person Robert took a lingering glance at before he went home was Flambae.
The last person Robert thought about before trying to sleep was Flambae.
Eventually, Robert and Flambae started talking more than ever at work, eating lunch together in the break room and occasionally giving each other lifts to and from SDN Torrance. If Robert got back to his apartment some of those days a little bit giddy, that was between him and Beef.
The person Robert had thought about the most since the Z-Team took down shroud was Flambae. Of course it was Flambae.
****
“Damn, you’re fuckin’ whipped. Makes sense why you always shot me down.” Invisigal quipped.
Robert just glared back at her. “You can’t tell anyone any of that Visi, I trust you with it.”
Invisigal smirked. “What if you just go and fuckin’ do something about it when he gets here?”
Robert just stared back at her.
“I’m not joking Robert, do something about it tonight. No time like the present or some shit.” Invisigal reiterated.
As if it was on cue, the door of the bar opened, and in walked Flambae, flanked by Prism and Waterboy. He had on a dark green unbuttoned jacket over a tight pink button up shirt that showed off his muscular physique, and long dark green pants to match, with candy cane-patterned socks and brown dress shoes. As Robert finished giving Flambae an updown, he noticed one more thing.
Flambae had his hair down, something Robert had never seen before. He looked fucking hot like that too, Robert discovered.
Robert was snapped out of his trance by Invisigal speaking up again. “Take a fuckin’ picture, it’ll last longer.”
“Shut the fuck up, Visi.” Robert replied.
The atmosphere of the SDN Torrance Christmas party started to build as more and more people showed up to the bar. Robert tried not to keep looking at Flambae across the room, and simultaneously tried to work up the courage to go talk to him, as if talking to Flambae wasn’t something he did just about every day at work, and fairly often outside of it.
Chase noticed Robert’s unusual awkwardness and pulled him aside. “Y’know everyone sees you keep lookin’ at that fire motherfucker, right? What’s up with you two anyway?”
Robert sighed. “Look, I’ve just been finally coming around on him and I’m glad he’s still with us. I was worried about him when he took off.”
“You really need to fuckin’ stop telling me where you’ve been coming.” Chase teased.
Robert smiled. “Shut the fuck up Chase.”
Chase continued. “I think you’re lyin’ to me though, I know you’ve had eyes for that fucker since the first fuckin’ day ya walked in here.
Robert raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said I liked Visi earlier.”
“I just thought you were bisexual and overwhelmed with havin’ people around you for the first time since you were a teenager.” Chase replied.
Robert laughed. “I mean, you’re right about like… all of that, but I didn’t think you thought that low of me to sleep around in the office.”
“Hey, you coulda been roundin’ up the whole team in some fuckin’ polycule type shit for all I cared.” Chase added.
“Thanks for the reassurance.” Robert responded.
The pair sat in silence for a moment before Chase leaned in to whisper in Robert’s ear. “Listen Robert, if you’re that hooked on that motherfucker even after he tried to kill your fuckin’ ass, you gotta go make a move before someone else fuckin’ does.”
Robert felt himself going a bit red. “You’re not even the first person to tell me that tonight.”
Chase smiled. “I know, that Invisibitch sent me over to ya. Apparently Sonar and Malevola won’t shut up about your ‘sexual tension’ either.”
“So you guys think I have a shot?” Robert asked.
“I am so not helping you get your fuckin’ hopes up. Just go fuckin’ talk to that motherfucker.” Chase retorted, before patting Robert on the shoulder and walking away.
The lights in the bar dimmed, and Robert noticed that Prism was heading towards the stage in the corner of the room.
Prism took the stage and picked up a microphone. “Alright bitches, it’s Christmas karaoke time! Flambae, get your gay ass up here.”
Flambae yelled across the bar. “Fuck you, bitch!”
He walked up and took the stage anyway. Robert watched as Flambae punched his song into the karaoke machine, took a microphone in his hands, and the music began playing.
The sounds of Christmas music began to ring around the bar, Robert recognising it as Michael Buble’s Cold December Night. Flambae started singing, and unlike the last time Robert remembered Flambae doing karaoke, he was fucking killing it. Robert couldn’t bring himself to look anywhere else but directly towards the stage, directly towards Flambae.
As Flambae moved through the song, singing way too well for Robert to handle, he traced his eyes around the room and settled them on Robert.
“Oh but this evening can be a holy night
Let's cosy on up by the fireplace and dim those Christmas lights”
Robert felt like he surely had to be dreaming. Flambae was looking directly at him, singing lyrics like those, and singing them near-flawlessly. He was completely entranced by this man, without a care in the world for any possible reactions the rest of the Z-Team might’ve been having.
“Just fall in love with me, this Christmas
There's nothing else that we will need, this Christmas
Won't be wrapped under a tree
I want something that lasts forever,
'cause I don't wanna be alone tonight
I'll wear you like a Christmas sweater,
walk you proudly to the mistletoe tonight
I want something that lasts forever,
so kiss me on this cold December night”
Flambae barely broke eye contact with Robert.
Invisigal walked up to Robert and leaned over his shoulder. “If you don’t go talk to him after whatever that was, I’ll tell the whole fuckin’ team everything myself.”
“Can I let them fuck around first at least?” Robert groaned, gesturing to the stage as Sonar and Malevola started a duet of Fairytale of New York.
“Sure, let them go, but you better go talk to him at this fuckin’ party, you know I’m not kidding Robert.” Invisigal repeated. “I just watched you two eye-fuck each other for three minutes strai- well not straight but you fuckin’ get my point, and I do not wanna see that at work every day so go fucking do it.”
Robert turned to look at Invisigial. “Hey, Courtney? Look, normally I’d tell you to shut the fuck up right about now, but I actually think I needed to hear you say that, so thanks for… pushing me, I guess.”
Invisigal smiled. “Anytime.”
Eventually, the Christmas karaoke came to an end, the noise level in the bar downshifting. The crowd of SDN staff around the stage began dispersing, and Robert had the thought that this was probably the best chance he’d get all night to see Flambae one-on-one. There was one problem – he couldn’t see Flambae anywhere in the bar. What he could see, however, was Sonar and Malevola walking towards him.
“Robbie my guy, you looking for your man?” Sonar asked with enthusiasm.
Robert attempted to speak up. “He’s not my-”
“Flambae’s outside on the patio dude, go get him!” Malevola encouraged.
Chase walked up behind Robert and joined the conversation. “Listen to these fuckers and go talk to him, alright? Pissin’ me off seein’ you stare at that motherfucker all night.”
Robert snapped. “Fucking hell, alright! I’ll go find him, is that gonna satisfy all your fuckin’ fantasies if I go talk to him and turned down?”
Sonar chuckled. “As if he’s gonna turn you down. You’re a fine piece of ass Robbie.”
“Thank… you? I’m gonna go out there now.” Robert turned and headed towards the glass sliding doors that led to the bar’s patio.
Robert closed the sliding doors behind him as he stepped out onto the patio. Colourful lights were strung all over the roof and railing. Leaning on the railing was none other than Flambae. He noticed Robert walking towards him and looked up, giving a shy smile that Robert had never seen on him before.
“Hey.” Robert greeted, somewhat nervously as he appreciated how good Flambae looked with his hair down up close.
Flambae attempted to cut the tension a bit. “We talk like every day at work bitch, you don’t have to be all nervous and shit.”
“Whatcha doin’ out here?” Robert asked, regaining a bit of confidence hearing Flambae poke fun.
“Just thinking about stuff, what about you, Bob Bob?” Flambae answered smugly.
Robert cracked a small grin. “Just thought I’d come check on you. Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
“None of your business, bitch.” Flambae replied, Robert noticing a touch of playfulness in his voice.
Robert decided to push his luck a little. “You sure?”
Flambae huffed out a laugh, now sounding nervous himself. “Fuck, you don’t give up, do you?”
“Maybe I’m just worried about you, I could’ve just left you alone out here y’know.” Robert said.
Flambae started playing with his hair. “I don’t know what you want from me, Robert.”
Robert gestured towards Flambae’s head. “I wanna know what’s going on in there.”
“You liked my performance?” Flambae asked.
Robert smiled. “Not bad.”
“Not bad? You looked like you thought it was a bit better than that.” Flambae teased.
“Is that what you were thinking so hard about? Whether or not you did Michael Buble justice?” Robert poked back.
Flambae turned his head back away from Robert, not replying as he looked out over the patio’s edge.
Robert stepped a little closer and lowered his voice. “Chad… what’s going on man? Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
Flambae sighed and mumbled. “Just… work. Us. Shit like that, alright bitch?”
Robert was not expecting that. “…Us?”
“You know what I mean, don’t make it weird, Robert.” Flambae responded, somewhat shyly.
Robert dropped the teasing, still speaking softly. “Chad. It’s not weird. Not for me. I wanna know what’s going on.”
Flambae looked back at Robert. “You’ve been looking at me across the room all night, Bob Bob. I’m not stupid.
Robert just tilted his head, as if to try playing dumb.
“I mean… I didn’t mind. I just… thought you would like… fucking do something earlier.” Flambae continued, beginning to tease a little.
“I thought you said I wasn’t your type.” Robert said, finally making it a certainty what they were talking about.
Flambae stiffened a little before sighing. “I… was lying. I panicked when I thought you were flirting and I tried to be all cool and shit. I’m sorry if that hurt you… and for how I reacted when you told us you were Mechadick.”
“I panicked just as hard when you sent me that text.” Robert chuckled nervously.
Flambae smirked. “You weren’t just a scared little bitch when I said boo?”
“Fuck off. I thought you were talking to some other guy. I… didn’t know what to think about that.” Robert explained.
“You like me that much, huh? Even thinking about me talking to someone made you all jealous and shit?” Flambae poked.
Robert sighed. “Look, we’re talking in fucking circles and I actually wanna get somewhere with this. You guys all made me feel like I had something to live for. When Chase collapsed… it felt like all of that got ripped from me in a couple of seconds. I was so hellbent on showing you guys how much you belonged that I forgot how much you all showed me the same thing. You were the one who came and made sure I didn’t do something fucking stupid. I think I fell in love with you then, Chad. Maybe I already had.”
Flambae stepped towards Robert, the pair of them now only inches apart. “Robert… why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I freaked out, okay? I wasn’t ready to admit it to myself.” Robert admitted.
The pair of them stood there, a poignant silence filling the air. They locked eyes.
Flambae lowered his voice. “Robert… I want this to be something. If you do.”
Robert was done talking. He put his hands around Flambae’s neck, pulling him into a kiss. It was soft at first, as if he was still a little unsure.
Flambae inhaled sharply in surprise before kissing Robert back, grabbing Robert by his shirt.
It felt for a moment, to both of them, like the only people in the world were Robert and Flambae.
When Robert finally pulled back, they were both a little breathless. Flambae broke the silence first with a whisper. “Holy shit.”
Robert laughed nervously. “Is that a good holy shit or a bad holy shit?”
Flambae grabbed Robert’s hand, interlocking their fingers. “Do it again and find out, Mechadick.”
Robert didn’t need to be told twice.
This time, Flambae pulled away first, and Robert broke the silence. “You wanna… take this somewhere else?”
Flambae grinned. “Fuck yeah. Just not your shitty apartment.”
“Your place is fine. We should probably try not to get noticed though, I’m not sure if I wanna tell everyone else about us straight away.” Robert said sincerely.
Flambae pecked Robert on the forehead. “We can take things at whatever pace, Bob Bob.”
They’d tell everyone eventually. Maybe after they read the SDN Employee Handbook a couple times over. HR would probably appreciate that.