Chapter Text
Steve slammed the door of the truck shut and scanned the unfamiliar landscape for any signs of a threat. Not that it was likely that a new batch of Demodogs would materialize on a college campus halfway across the country but still it was a hard habit to break.
“You have all your stuff?” He asked as Dustin climbed out of the passenger side backpack in toe.
“Yes MOM.”
“Hey don’t mouth off to me, I didn’t need to drive you, you know.”
Dustin raised his hands in mock surrender with a grin. “Apologies, yes I have my stuff. Yes I know where I am going. Thank you for driving me, oh great and powerful Steve.”
“Shut up,” Steve groaned, reaching out to affectionately ruffle Dustin's newly cropped hair.
He felt like he should be giving some sort of speech. Some wise words of wisdom for Dustin to carry with him on his first day of college. Not that Steve would really know anything about that himself. He probably should have asked Nancy, but between their schedules they have barely managed a single phone call this past month. No Steve was on his own. It was ok, he could wing his way through this. Just say something Steve.
“This will be good for you.”
Dustin gave him a look of undisguised judgement and Steve can’t help but wince. It was the sort of thing his mother used to say to him after about half a bottle of Reisling. Still he could salvage this.
“I’m just saying,” he pressed on, ‘you’ll finally be around people who can keep that ego of yours in check. Not being the smartest one in the room 24/7.”
This time Dustin sluged him playfully in the shoulder, but his expression softened into a fond smile.
“It’s OK Steve, I don’t need you to give me a pep talk or anything.”
“Oh thank God because you know I really suck at those.”
“Yeah you do!”
They both let out a laugh before leaning in for a hug.
“I’m serious though,” Steve said before letting go, “I’m really proud of you Henderson. You deserve this.”
They all did. Peace, Normalcy. A chance to live their best lives without the constant threat of monsters and heartache.
Dustin looked like he was to say something in reply, but the moment passed and he pulled away, glancing towards the waiting campus.
“Well I’d better get going.” He picked up his backpack and pulled it onto his shoulder as he began walking.
“I’ll pick you up at 5 today but after this you're getting the bus.” Steve called after him.
Dustin flicked his hand as if to say ‘whatever’, but then stopped, his hands clenched around the straps of his bag.
Steve watched, curious, as Dustin continued to hesitate. One beat, then another, shuffling in place instead of moving towards the awaiting doors of the school.
“What’s the hold up Henderson? Don’t you have a ‘curiosity voyage’ to go on or some shit?” Steve joked.
He expected some sort of sarcastic retort or maybe an irritated middle finger in reply, prompting the kid to finish his trek towards his new future. Instead, Dustin surprised him by walking back the few paces he had gone and leaning heavily against the side of the truck, staring down at the pavement.
“Dude, what’s wrong?”
Dustin scuffed his toe against the ground in response, still abnormally silent.
“You know I was just messing with you about not being the smartest person at this place. I’m sure you will be running like, brain circles around all of them all in no time.”
Dustin still didn’t respond, even to that idiotic comment, instead just fiddling with the strap of his backpack.
Steve could see him tensing his jaw the way he does when he is actually forced to think about what he wants to say instead of just immediately blurting out the answer so he tried to be patient in return. But patience had never been Steve’s strong suite either and any prolonged silence from his chatterbox friend had always set him on edge, especially after everything with… well… everything.
Just as Steve was about to give up and shake the kid until he responded, Dustin let out a defeated sigh and finally looked up to meet Steve’s worried gaze.
“How do you face someone that you want to see more than anything but who probably hates your guts?”
Well.
That was… unexpected.
Steve can feel his mouth hanging slightly open but no words are forming. With a supreme effort he finally manages an inarticulate “huh?”
“Someone you have wronged past the point of forgiveness and who you never thought could possibly reenter your life but who against all odds has suddenly returned to your story like an act of destiny.”
“Henderson, what the hell are you talking about?’
“I’m talking about Suzie!”
“Su-... Suzie? Hotter than Phoebe Kates Suzie?”
Steve was still fairly skeptical if that was an entirely accurate description, given that it was Dustin who had given it. Not only that but a 14 year old lovestruck Dustin. Although, the only other sources he had were Mike (she’s kinda cute I guess) and Will {I think you would call her pretty) neither of whom Steve considered a reliable judge of female attractiveness, so who knew. He supposed he could have also asked Jonathan for an opinion, but that would have A. involve asking Jonathan about anything frivolous which tended to end badly, and B. risk Steve pointing out that his opinion at the time might have been clouded by purple palm tree delight, an observation that had already gotten the two of them into more than enough fights during those tense 18 months of quarantine. No he and Jonathan were much better off sticking to simpler topics like stopping an apocalypse or the weather.
Dustin rolled his eyes in what Steve was pretty sure he believed was an understated manner.
“What other Suzie would I be talking about?”
Jesus, this kid was going to be the death of him.
In the interest of everyone’s sanity Steve forced himself to take a deep breath instead of shooting back a snarky reply.
Steve hadn’t thought about Suzie in months… possibly years at this point. And as far as he knew, neither had Dustin. The two had broken up in the aftermath of Eddie’s death when Dustin had been lashing out at everyone in his overwhelming grief and helplessness. He hadn’t been forthcoming with the details at the time, especially not to Steve, and once their own friendship had been repaired it hadn’t seemed wise to pry that long after the fact. Perhaps that had been another mistake on Steve’s part but he wasn’t a goddamn mind reader.
“Are you sure she even goes here?” Steve asked hopefully. Maybe Dustin was just making mountains out of molehills and Steve could be spared a conversation that was almost certainly outside of his wheelhouse.
“Vinny told me that she got accepted.”
“Who the hell is Vinny?”
“He’s friends with Lydia who’s friends with Suzie.”
“Am I supposed to know these people?”
“The people aren’t important Steve! The point is Suzie could be on the other side of those walls and I have no idea what I should do if that happens!”
Well shit. Steve had not been prepared for this.
“Look,” he said, trying to be as soothing as possible. “It’s a big school, you might not even see each other. And even if you do, how bad can it be?”
“Catastrophic.”
Dustin’s face was completely serious.
Steve ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Apparently this conversation was happening whether Steve was prepared or not. Nothing to do at this point but muddle through the best he could.
“OK, Well what exactly happened when you two broke up?”
“Do you want the long version or the short version?”
“Short, obviously.”
“I told her she didn’t understand anything and that God is a lie.”
...
“Jesus Christ dude! That’s like… blasphemy and shit.”
“Yeah.”
“Isn’t her family super religious?”
“Also yes.”
“So you basically just shot yourself in the balls.”
“I was going through a lot!”
Again Steve forced himself to take a slow steadying breath and think through his words. He was the adult in this situation no matter how underqualified, and he owed it to Dustin to keep his cool.
“I know man, I know.” Steve’s calming seemed to deflate Dustin and the younger boy slunk dejectedly against the side of the Truck. “Look,” Steve tried again, hoping this time he sounded more encouraging, “it sucks but you’ll figure it out. You're a smart kid.”
“I’m not a kid anymore,” Dustin grumbled back.
“Smart man… guy… whatever. The point is you can handle running into your ex, ok?”
Dustin was silent for a few moments and Steve hoped that maybe that would be the end of this whole situation.
“How do you deal with it?”
Steve felt his heart sink. When in doubt, play dumb.
“Deal with what?” He asked, but he could hear a slight tremor in his own voice, and Dustin had never been one to back down for the sake of being polite.
“Being around Nance all the time, even after it all went to shit?”
And there it was.
After one particularly nasty fight back during the dark times, Steve’s ever present feelings for Nancy had become one of the few forbidden topics between the two of them. Even after the dust settled and the good guys won the day it had remained an unspoken rule that any conversation about the relationship, or lack thereof; between him and Nancy was to remain off limits. It was too raw, too painful back when Jonathan was still in the picture and Steve was trying and failing to just be a friend while simultaneously being treated like an unworthy rival by the guy who was so busy fixating on him that he ignored the relationship he was supposed to be competing over. After the break up the friendship became easy but also somehow far more complicated. But no matter how complicated it became it was too important to Steve to risk fucking it all up again. So he just didn’t talk about it. At all. With anyone.
But now Dustin was looking at him with that same vulnerable stare that had sucked Steve in 6 years ago. A look that made Steve feel like someone believed that he had all the answers for once. He never could help wanting to live up to that faith in him.
He ran his hand through his hair again as he struggled to find the right words.
“Nance was… Nance IS special. She’s Nance, you know? And I loved her. I mean, honestly, I still love her, and I probably always will. But… I think when you care about someone like that, I mean really care about them, it’s not just about you anymore, you know? It's about accepting who they are and what they need. Even if it isn’t what you want, even if it isn’t… you. Part of loving her is wanting her to be happy. And I wasn’t making her happy.
So maybe that means that we’re just meant to be friends, but that’s ok too, you know? Because I would rather have this amazing friend in my life than throw it all away just because of my stupid ego or whatever.” Steve stared out into the distance, unwilling to meet Dustin's gaze in light of his confession but he forced himself to press on.
“You aren’t the same person you were two years ago, neither of you are. But if Suzie is as brilliant as you’ve always said she is, she is gonna be able to see that too. And maybe you both are different now, but if you find she is still important to you you find a way to make it work, even if it's not what you thought it would be. And if not then you just keep crawling forward until you figure it out.”
He finally risked a glance over at Dustin, but this time he was the one staring into the distance lost in thought. They stood for about a minute in companionable silence before Dustin stood back up with a determined nod.
“You know, you can be surprisingly wise Steve.”
“Can I get that in writing?” Steve grinned.
Dustin rolled his eyes but grabbed him around the waist in a grateful hug.
“I love you man.”
“I love you too,” Steve replied fondly before pulling away and giving him a gentle shove towards the campus. “Now go before you're late for class!”
Dustin began moving but about halfway to his destination he twisted into an awkward backwards jog.
“You know, you should probably just tell Nancy how you really feel.” He shouted, loud enough to attract the attention of some curious bystanders milling nearby. “Since you’re finally acknowledging that you still have a thing for her.”
“Oh for God’s sake…”
“And she doesn’t seem to have caught on that you are still throwing yourself at her!”
“Will you just go to class!” Steve shouted back, his cheeks darkening to a bright crimson at the amount of curious stares now drawn their way by the boisterous exchange.
“I’ll be done at 5!”
“I know that you little…” but Dustin had already turned away, hurrying at last towards his destination.
“Jesus,” Steve muttered under his breath watching as Dustin finally disappeared beyond the school doors. “That kid really is gonna be the death of me I swear to God.”
“I certainly hope not.”
Steve felt every muscle in his body freeze at the sound of a voice he knew as well as his own name. He turned slowly, breath caught in his throat as he took in the familiar features.
Her hair was longer than the last time he had seen her in person, falling past her shoulders in loose waves as opposed to the heavy perms she had been favoring before her move to Massachusetts. She had filled out a little too, no longer carrying the gaunt hollowness of sleepless nights full of waking nightmares. Her smile was soft and a little mischievous, the one that lit up her eyes not the one designed to distract from how they were dissecting your every miniscule action. The smile that he still compared all others too and came up wanting.
She was here, not just in Boston but here, breathing the same air. Not just a voice over the telephone or a hastily scrawled post script to him at the bottom of a letter to Robin.
“Nancy Wheeler.”
“Hello Steve.”