Archive of Our Own ^beta

Mack was staring again. He knew he was. He could sense the shifting energy in the air as people caught onto his staring, glares being throw his way in turn. He wasn’t sure what his scent was doing, but he knew that, unless people got close, they wouldn’t smell it. One of the small perks of being a beta, he supposed.

No one bothered him about his scent.

“You reek of burnt blueberries.” Okay… maybe there was one person would comment on his scent. Macklin didn’t look away from the alpha he was practically staring holes into, not even when Connor slumped into the seat next to him and splayed his legs over Mack’s lap. His raspberry and icing sugar scent was soon washing over Mack in waves that would almost be violently comforting if Mack wasn’t so used to it.

“Cut the soothing scent crap out already,” Mack muttered. Connor snorted but the intensity of his scent faded. He knew some people were staring at them, both BU and BC students assessing the potential couple within their mix. The thought of being with Connor made Mack’s nose wrinkle with displeasure. That would be like fucking his own brother which… ew.

“You know, maybe if you tried speaking to Will, you might actually stand a chance at, you know, becoming his mate?” Connor said. He’d leant closer, voice dropping to a whisper to avoid anyone potentially overhearing. Mack still turned to glare at him, the first time he’d taken his eyes off Will since he’d sat down about twenty minutes ago.

When he looked back, Macklin’s eyes widened and he quickly ducked his head down, ignoring the sharp spike in his scent and the heat that blossomed unwelcomingly fast across his cheeks. Connor’s own scent had gone protective and spikey in response, bubbling almost like a boiling batch of sugar-doused raspberry.

“Why is he coming over here?” Mack hissed. Connor slipped his legs from Mack’s lap as he shrugged in response, the material of his hoodie rising with the movement. Mack wanted to jab at him, to grab Connor’s legs and drape them over his own once more.

He liked Will too much for his own good, but he had never planned to make a move on it. He never planned to even speak to him, too enamoured by Will to face the fear of simple communication, let alone the desire for what he truly wanted.

Will. He wanted Will. Not in a carnal way, not in a romantic way – in a true, soulmate bond way. The kind of way that every romance movie ever loved to portray in a filmy, sunset-glazed shot. It was a kind of want that Mack was really not allowed to have. Not when he was a beta, and Will was an alpha.

The somehow sweet combination of whiskey and sea salt graced Mack’s nose, and he sniffled softly before he blushed darker, all too aware of what he was doing, and extra aware that what he was doing was fucking weird.

“Hi Connor, hey Mack. Didn’t know you’d be coming here,” Will said. Mack looked up at Will with owlish eyes before he shook his head. How did…?

“You know my name?” Mack asked. Connor huffed next to him, and it took all of Mack’s restraint not to elbow him in the gut and make him regret his actions. Why was he so surprised by Mack’s response? It wasn’t like he thought Will knew Mack’s name, therefore Mack deemed his reaction justified.

“Of course, I do,” Will said. He collapsed into the third spot on the couch, legs tucked up to his chest as he smiled at Mack. The tips of his teeth peeked through, and Mack had to suppress a shiver, the urge to feel those teeth biting into his mating gland swimming hot like lava through his veins. “I kept seeing this cutie from BU strutting around, so I asked some a bunch of people who you were until I finally learnt your name.”

Connor guffawed at that and this time, Mack did elbow him, ignoring the way Connor hissed and left the couch in response. He didn’t look at Will either, though. Just kept his head tucked down, eyes fixed on the way his t-shirt stretched eerily close to too tight over his stomach, the way his thighs filled out his jeans – too much. It was all too much. He was too much.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to upset you,” Will said. His scent had sharpened, almost sharp enough that Mack felt the need to sneeze, but he merely shook his head and looked up, plastering on what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

“You didn’t, it’s fine. I know I’m too big and kinda ugly, y’know? Pretty hard to miss…” Mack trailed off with a meek little shrug. Who was he kidding? An alpha like Will would never, ever, find a beta like him desirable or something worth wanting. It was more common for omegas to do that, and even then, they often times still preferred the warm, protective embrace of an alpha.

“You’re not too big or ugly, not at all,” Will said. He laid a gentle hand on Mack’s arm, fingers lightly squeezing at the thickness of his bicep. “Look at me.” Mack squeezed his eyes shut against the onslaught of tears before looking up, staring at the alpha of his dreams with what was probably pitifully bad puppy dog eyes. “See? Not ugly. Very adorable, actually.”

“That’s not true,” Mack said with a dry, demeaning chuckle. “I’m like… you do know I’m a beta, right?”

“So?” Will questioned. He looked genuinely baffled by Mack’s assertion. Mack deflated like a popped balloon and sunk into the couch before pushing himself to sit upwards properly. He’d heard more than enough comments about how slouching made him look ‘extra unattractive’ and that was the last thing he needed when he was trying to woo one of the most sought-after alphas in all of Boston College and Boston University combined.

“Um… well okay. I’m Mack, you’re Will, do you… do you wanna ask me anything?” Mack said. He felt awkward and stiff, like the cogs in his system were jammed together, overstuffed and overworked. He felt almost sick about it.

“Will you go on a date with me?” Will asked. There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation. Mack’s eyes widened and he stared at Will incredulously. There was no way in hell Will had just asked him that. Absolutely no way. He continued to blink owlishly until Will’s scent turned, the bitter sting of rejection sharp and clear. “A-are you not into guys? I heard some people say you were and just… or are, are you and Connor actually a couple? That’s another rumour I’ve heard.”

Mack huffed and took Will’s hands into his own. He was almost glad that his beta hormones didn’t drive him wild like alpha and omega hormones did. It kept him level-headed and rational, stable on his feet in situations that normally wouldn’t allow for that.

“I’m not dating Connor, but I am into guys. It’s just… Will, you’re forgetting a key detail here,” Mack said. Will looked up at him, eyes puppy-dog wide and just as wet. It made Mack’s heart clench. and he just wanted to bundle Will up in a sea of blankets and cradle him close.

(Was this what omegas felt when they wanted to build a nest for their alphas? Or was Mack finally going insane?)

“What is it?” Will whispered, the sound of his voice barely audible above the thumping beat of party music. Mack didn’t need to lean any closer, but he did anyways, the sharp smell of random omegas – flower petals and sweet fruits – gracing his nose. He wanted to snarl and his lips curled in a mockery of it, all bark and very little bite.

“You’re an alpha, Will. You’re supposed to settle down with a nice omega, pup them up and have like… four plus children,” Mack said. Will frowned and tilted his head to one side, the confusion on his face far more adorable than Mack had any right to find it.

“No? I don’t think I’m supposed to. Expected to, maybe, but I’ve never been one to care for other’s expectations,” Will said with a shrug. Mack sighed and dropped his face into his palm. Why, oh why, was this alpha so stubborn and so eager to defy the expectations that society had laid out for him? And why was Mack arguing with him about it? He should be taking full advantage, but no. His stupid insecurities were getting in the way again.

“I’m a beta. No one but other betas want to mate betas,” Mack said, emphasizing the word ‘beta’ each and every time he said it. Maybe if he said it enough times, and said it hard enough, it would stick in Will’s dumb alpha brain.

“That’s not true?” Will said, tilting his head to one side. “My dormmates at BC are an omega/beta pairing?” Mack sighed again.

“That’s still better than an alpha and a beta getting together.”

“All I’m hearing is that you and me going out on a date is a no because you don’t like me,” Will said. His scent was viciously bitter now, almost burning in how thick and rich with rejection it was. Mack’s inner beta wanted to sooth and comfort, to pull the alpha into his arms until he was happy and stable again, ready to totter off and find an omega to fuck. Someone he could actually breed, rather than Mack’s unattractive beta self.

“I do like you, Will, and I’d like to go on a date with you but like… even if I wasn’t a beta, I’m not worth it. People won’t be nice about it because of all the…” Mack trailed off, gesturing at his body to finish his thoughts. He stared down at his pudgy tummy and his thick thighs, at the bulk of his arms and the way his chest more than filled out the top of his shirt.

“Again, I really don’t care what people think of me and my decisions,” Will said. Mack pouted up at him, unable to stop his scent from turning richer and sharper, blueberry tart levels of intense. If it got any worse, Mack was sure the room would start to smell like a half-supressed bakery.

“Will…”

“Please, Macklin. One chance, that’s all I ask,” Will said. Mack huffed.

“Fine,” he acquiesced. Will perked up almost instantly and he sat up from where he’d wedged himself in the corner of the couch. He laced his arms around Mack’s broad shoulders and pulled him in, chin resting atop Mack’s head as he grumbled slightly, soft and soothing. Mack knew he should be purring in response, but purring wasn’t something he was capable of, neither was grumbling.

He could only just about manage a weak, feeble mewing noise, like a pitiful kitten. It was the exact same sound unpresented kids made, and Mack fucking hated it. Will squealed softly and hugged him tightly, a squeak tumbling from Mack’s lips in response. “You sound so cute!”

Mack blushed and trapped his lower lip between his teeth. His hands were still gently resting on Will’s waist and when Will pulled back, he dropped his head down, avoiding eye contact. He didn’t know how to respond to Will’s compliment. He didn’t feel cute, he just felt stupid, like a little kid trying to play with the grownups.

“Thanks?” Mack tried. Will shot him a megawatt smile before someone interrupted them. One of Will’s friends, judging by the BC hockey jersey he wore. Mack knew all about Will’s love for hockey and whilst he’d wanted to watch him play numerous times, he could never bring himself to actually do it.

“Will, you coming to play beer pong? I need you on the team, otherwise Gabe’s gonna fucking lose it for us,” the newcomer said. Mack bit his lower lip and stared down at his lap. That was another thing people couldn’t get over. Mack didn’t drink, didn’t like to, and that often meant a lot of university hangouts were things no one wanted him at.

“Sure. Give me five?” Will said. Mack ignored the way his stomach churned, and he continued to look down until the other person disappeared. He finally raised his head at that, but only marginally. He didn’t look Will in the eyes. “Do you wanna come? I could use a cheerleader.”

“Maybe another time,” Mack muttered. He just wanted to find Connor and leave already. He had a headache and he needed to drown it away with a large soda that’d make his teeth hurt. He also needed a reassuring scent, one that didn’t drive him wild like Will’s did, or one that made him want to hurl. He just needed stability.

“Give me your phone. Unlocked,” Will said, holding his hand out. Mack looked up at him, head tilted to one side. Will gestured with his fingers and Mack huffed, quickly unlocking the device before placing it in Will’s hand. He started typing almost immediately.

“What are you doing?” Mack asked. Will didn’t respond until he’d finished typing and handed Mack’s phone back. Even then he only smiled and stood up, ruffling Mack’s hair and leaning back down quickly to drop a kiss on Mack’s cheek.

“I’ll text you when I’m ready for our first date,” Will said. He winked at Mack before turning on his heels and walking off towards the kitchen. Mack watched him go, taking in the way Will carried himself, all confident and assured. He didn’t have to suck in his stomach or angle himself a certain way to get pass people – he just glided on by. It made Mack feel even worse. How could someone so–

“Hey, you good? You look like you’re about to pass out.” It was Connor, his concerned face and ripened raspberry smell filling Mack’s senses. Mack whimpered and buried his face in his hands. He wasn’t good, not at all. In fact, Connor was almost right. Mack really did feel like he was about to pass out, and he wasn’t sure what to do about that.

“I need to get out of here,” Mack muttered. Connor immediately helped him stand up, an arm looped around his shoulders as he guided Mack through the university frat house and out onto the mostly empty front lawn. Only then did Mack lower his hands and let traitorous tears build on his lash line.

He felt fragile, ready to smash at any moment, but no one had bothered to put a label or even some tape on him that said ‘handle with care’. It was jarring and disconcerting and he tripped over his own feet, pulling Connor to the concrete with him. He was almost sure he was about to vomit until he felt Connor’s hands on his face, comforting and familiar.

“It’s okay. I don’t know what happened, but I promise you, it’s okay. And if it’s not, I will do my best to try and make it okay as soon as I can. We need to get to the car, Mack. Can you try do that for me?” Connor muttered. He released softened waves of scent to try and coax Mack into moving.

It worked. Mack gently pushed up onto his feet and allowed Connor to support him all the way to the car. As he leant back against the passenger seat, his head once again buried in his hands, Mack reflected on everything that had happened.

Will had approached him. Will. The alpha he’d been pining after for months. The alpha who appeared in his dreams where Mack was a perfectly skinny and normal omega, not some oversized, aiming-too-high beta.

The driver side door slammed shut, and Mack slowly lowered his hands, peering across at Connor. He wasn’t looking at Mack, just focusing on the car and slowly pulling away from the curb. The ground crunched under the tyres. Connor was acting like nothing was wrong, the way Mack preferred it. When they were a few houses away from the party, Mack sighed and muttered a soft apology.

“What’s there to be sorry for?” Connor responded. He shot Mack a reassuring smile before immediately focusing back on the road once more. Mack sighed again and slumped down in his seat, uncaring of the ugly way his body squished against itself. It was only Connor. He’d seen it all and hadn’t once cared.

“Dragged you away from the party early,” Mack said. “Ruined the evening like I always do.”

“Hey, you ruined nothing. That party was a total shitshow anyways,” Connor said. Mack hummed apologetically. He was zoning out, thinking about rich blue eyes and soft blonde curls. Oh, that damned alpha would never stop haunting him now, not after Macklin had practically tasted the depths of his scent. Especially not after Mack had learnt what it was like to have his hands on Will’s waist, to feel the thick, corded muscle that lined his torso.

“Will asked me out on a date,” Mack whispered. He continued to stare out the window as he slowly turned his head before he let his eyes follow, catching the wide-eyed gaze that lined Connor’s face. “He gave me his number.”

“Yeah? That’s amazing, isn’t it? It’s what you wanted?” Connor asked. He kept stealing little glances at Mack from the corner of his eye. Mack sighed and nodded but didn’t respond further. Silence fell over the pair for a few moments, Macklin sorting through a tangle of words in his head, trying to find the right ones to say.

“It won’t last.”

“Why do you say that?” Connor asked. Mack knew that Connor was more than aware of his insecurities. He’d spent more than enough nights crying in the omega’s arms, the two of them watching shitty movies about alpha and omega couples finding each other and falling in love. Far too many of them used betas as a temporary stand in, as a placeholder. It made Mack feel like he was destined to be just another beta placeholder as well.

His weight didn’t help him feel any better.

“He’s an alpha, with hundreds of omegas clamouring to be his. I’m just… I’m just a fucking beta,” Mack spat out. He was getting angrier now, the fury in his veins burning away all traces of sadness or misery. He was just bitingly bitter.

“And? I know the world treats betas like they’re scum, but not everyone is like that. Plenty of people are starting to accept alpha/beta and omega/beta relationships,” Connor said. It was an attempt to cheer him up, which Mack could appreciate, but it hadn’t worked. It had just flown over his head like a puff of wind, a brief tousle of Mack’s hair and nothing more. He slumped further into his seat, ignoring the sharp dig of the seatbelt as it bit into his skin. He really needed to lose some weight. He looked across at Connor before sighing again.

“I guess…”

--

Mack was curled around a pillow, zoning away into nothingness, when his phone vibrated, the screen lighting up to show that someone had texted him. Mack weakly patted around on the mattress until he felt the device and he picked it up, bringing the too bright screen up to his face.

When he saw who had texted him, he jolted upright immediately, pillow falling to the wayside. It was Will. After the night prior, where Macklin had cried himself to sleep, he’d half expected to wake up and find out that Will had been pranking him or something. But no. Will was texting from, and judging from the small preview, it was a sweet one.

With deft fingers, Mack quickly unlocked his phone and opened the text, willing his rapidly intensifying scent to dissipate into nothingness as he grew warmer with each word.

Hey Mack, it’s Will! Sorry I didn’t text you last night, I got pretty drunk and didn’t want to embarrass myself in front of you. I was serious about taking you out on a date though. Let me know when you’re free and we’ll plan something. I need to see your pretty smile again. Think I’m gonna die without it :(

Mack read the words over and over and over again until he was positive he could recite them. He then read them a few more times before he leant back against his bed, breath puffing out of his body with a sharp exhale. He felt almost dizzy, like he’d been spun round and round until he couldn’t walk straight. How did omegas cope with this?

“Connor!” Mack bellowed. He heard rapid footsteps before the door slammed open, the omega that Mack called his flatmate appearing in the doorway, eyes wide and hair rumpled. Mack smiled and waved before holding his phone out towards him, the messages still loaded.

“The fuck? Did you have to yell my name like– oh, you absolutely had to, wow,” Connor said as he read through the messages. When he finished, he looked up at Mack, one eyebrow raised inquisitively. “Well? You gonna go for it?”

“I don’t know,” Mack said. Connor’s face contorted into an expression of disbelief, and Mack sighed, laying back against the sheets once more. The mattress dipped next to him before Connor was lying alongside him, their bodies pressed together like they were just two little kids again. “I’m scared.”

“And that’s normal,” Connor said. Mack hummed. He knew it was, but it wasn’t just fear or nerves holding him back, and he knew that Connor knew that. He was just giving Macklin space to say his own thoughts rather than try and word them for Mack himself.

“What if I am just a placeholder?” Mack whispered.

“Then he’s another dumb, knot-headed alpha who only cares about himself,” Connor said. “And if he really hurts you, I’ll hurt him back.” Mack chuckled and shook his head before he rolled onto his side, peering up at his best friend through half-drowsy lashes. Connor turned and met his gaze, a soft smile forming on his face. “I mean it.”

“I know you do,” Mack whispered.

“But I’m serious. You should go for it. You never go for what you want. Not anymore, at least,” Connor said. Mack sighed, pressing himself closer to Connor’s side. If that wasn’t the truth, he didn’t know what was. He knew he needed to reach out and take the opportunity he was presented with, but something was staying his hand.

“Can you send the message for me?” He whispered. Connor smiled and nodded at him. Mack relaxed at that and lifted up his phone. He unlocked it and held it out to Connor. “Don’t embarrass me too badly, yeah?” Connor chuckled.

“I’ll try my best.”

--

Mack was almost positive he was sweating too much. It wasn’t that warm outside, the wind occasionally creeping down his spine and carrying a headache-inducing meld of scents towards him, but nerves were overwhelming him. He was, somehow, seconds away from a first date with one of Boston College’s most wanted alphas. It didn’t feel right or true. It felt practically like a dream, all hazy and swirling in the deepest recesses of his brain.

“Macklin!” Someone shouted. Mack turned, smiling softly when he saw Will practically sprinting towards him. He carried a bouquet of flowers – roses and some other kind of flower, from what Mack could see – and he was smiling widely. The way his hair bounced as he ran reminded Mack of puppy dog ears, and he had to suppress a giggle.

Will really was the cutest alpha ever.

“Hi,” Mack shyly greeted. Will panted softly but still held the flowers out towards Mack, an assuring smile on his face. Mack gently took them from his grasp and held them to his nose, inhaling softly. They smelled sweet and Mack treasured them deeply, but it was the lingering traces of Will’s scent on the flowers that had made Mack’s brain go all tizzy and fuzzy. “They’re beautiful.”

“Just like you then,” Will said with a beaming smile. “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful beta.”

“You’re too sweet,” Mack muttered, burying his fond smile in the petals. Will’s smile only grew wider before he was offering his hand out to Mack. Eyeing it wearily for a few seconds, Mack eventually caved and slipped his right hand into Will’s left one. They fit together almost perfectly, and Mack was more than ready to be content when he realised his hand was bigger than Will’s. He frowned softly.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Will asked. He frowned at Mack, eyebrows pinched together in careful concern. Mack gnawed on his lower lip before he lifted their hands up. It was even worse seeing their intertwined hands right in front of his eyes.

“I’m bigger than you,” Mack said. Will tilted his head to one side.

“And?”

“That doesn’t bother you? I know a lot of alphas get all huffy and puffed up when a potential partner is bigger than them,” Mack muttered. Will smirked and Mack was confused before he realised that he’d practically just called Will a potential partner. He blushed crimson and ducked his head.

“So… I’m a potential partner for you, huh?” Will said. Mack huffed and tugged his hand free, curling it around the flowers with his other hand once more. Will whined and tugged at Mack’s arm before giving up and merely slipping his own through, elbows linked together. “You’re really cute.”

“Mm… you’re cuter,” Mack responded. Will’s scent brightened at that, reminding Mack of late-night bonfires on the beach, bottles of barely strong enough alcohol being passed around between him and his friends. It was addicting.

“I’ve never had someone call me cute after I presented,” Will muttered, like he was chewing over the implications of it. Mack huffed and tugged Will further into his side, a wide smile crossing his face when he caught the alpha’s practically bewitched gaze.

“I’ll just have to keep calling you it then.”

--

The sun had set, only the dimmest traces of light still swam through the sky. Mack and Will were still walking hand in hand, not quite ready for their date to end. The flowers had been safely left in a partially full sink after a quick stop back at Macklin’s place, and as much as he missed their smell, their absence allowed Mack to catch Will’s scent easier.

Rounding the corner onto his street, Mack couldn’t help but frown. His apartment building had come into view, but Mack really didn’t want the night to end. He already knew he’d burst into tears and sob about it when he was alone, the same fear that he was just a placeholder already strengthening in his mind once more.

“This is your place, right?” Will said once they’d stopped outside Macklin’s apartment. He could see the lights on in the kitchen and he knew that Connor was most definitely watching them, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was focused on the handsome alpha before him, a desire brewing within him.

“Yeah but…” Mack trailed off and chewed his lower lip. He huffed before batting his lashes up at Will. The alpha seemed to melt, and Mack almost wanted to giggle about it. “I don’t want the night to end just yet.”

“Me neither, but like… I don’t wanna rush things with you. I really want to court you properly, Macklin,” Will whispered. There was something about Will saying his full name that made Mack dizzy. How could one person saying one word sound so sweet? It didn’t make sense.

“I’m not an omega, Will. You don’t have to do that,” Mack responded. Will frowned and tugged Mack in, fingers sinking into the plush folds of his waist. Mack tensed, his heart stuttering until Will pulled back softly, hands raised in surrender. Mack muttered a soft apology.

“Hey, no, it’s okay. I don’t want to upset you. As for the courting, I really don’t care that you’re a beta. I want to court you, no matter what you are,” Will said. Mack’s eyes shimmered with tears as he bulled his way into Will’s arms, his face pressing itself into Will’s defined chest. A hand carded through his hair, fingers soft, and Mack sighed.

“How are you so sweet?” Mack asked. Will chuckled quietly as he continued to stroke through Mack’s hair. His scent was enveloping Mack’s senses and even though he knew scent drunkenness was an omega only thing, Mack was sure he was getting close to it.

“You bring it out of me,” Will said. He gently pulled Mack away from his chest and stared down at him, eyes soft and fond. He flicked his gaze between Mack’s eyes and his lips before he slowly leant closer. “Can I?”

“Please,” Mack whispered in response. Will gently captured Mack’s lips, one hand cupping the back of his head as the other slowly dropped down to rest on the base of Mack’s spine, touch careful. Mack hummed softly before he pulled back, blinking half-lidded as he peered up at Will. “That’s a good end to the night.”

Will smiled and shook his head affectionately. “You’re so cute,” he chuckled. Mack blushed but didn’t duck his head. Will had mentioned offhandedly during their date that he found Mack’s blush adorable, so Mack was trying his best to be more open with the alpha.

“I should probably let you get home,” Mack whispered. He really didn’t want the night to end, but it was still such early stages of their relationship. He couldn’t be greedy or selfish. Not yet. Not ever, ideally.

“I suppose I should go home, yes,” Will said. He cupped Mack’s face with one hand, thumb brushing over his chubby cheek. Mack hated the way his face squished upwards, but Will’s touch was so soft and reverent that he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. Will pressed one more kiss to Mack’s mouth before he pulled away, soft smile on his lips. “Goodnight Mack.”

Mack smiled to himself. “Goodnight Will.” The alpha walked off before turning and waving at him once he reached the end of Mack’s street. Mack waved back before finally retreating inside his apartment once he could no longer see Will’s form.

Leaning against the door with a sigh, Mack knew it wouldn’t be long before Connor bombarded him. He could already sense the potency of his blueberry scent leaking throughout the house, and it wouldn’t be long before Connor appeared.

Almost as if Mack’s thoughts had summoned him, Connor poked his head around the kitchen doorway, a lazy smirk on his face. He raised one eyebrow at Mack in question and Mack rolled his eyes fondly. He pushed off the doorframe and crossed to Connor, prodding him in the chest with one finger before slipping into the kitchen. “Not a word, mister.”

“You kissed? Hello?” Connor said. Mack sighed dreamily as he hefted himself up onto the counter. He was so stuck in his daydreams, he didn’t notice the look Connor was giving him. “Well? I’m assuming it went well.” Mack sighed dreamily once more.

“More than well. He said he wants to court me, all proper and romantic,” Mack said. Connor gasped, mouth open. Mack giggled, unable to stop the sweet feelings that flushed through his body.

“And? Did you agree to him courting you?” Connor prompted. Mack nodded and Connor clapped his hands excitedly, a quick bout of laughter slipping through his lips. He slid across the floor until he stood before Mack and pulled him into a hug. Mack melted into it, welcoming the familiar sugar-rich raspberry scent that he was so used to.

“I think I’m falling in love with him, Bedsy.”

--

Mack didn’t realise he was holding the glass too tight until he smelt sugary raspberries and he felt the cool touch of a hand around his, gently prising at his fingers. Mack immediately relaxed, allowing Connor to pluck the glass from his hand and place it to one side.

“Glaring isn’t going to fix anything, you know,” Connor said. It wasn’t that he wasn’t upset also – Mack could smell the anger radiating off him in burnt waves of raspberry – but he knew better than anyone that neither he nor Macklin would get away with fighting a female omega, and neither of them could fight an alpha.

And it wasn’t the omega’s fault.

“Why? When he knew I was going to be here,” Mack choked out. Tears pricked his eyes and he ducked his head, swallowing the lump in his throat. It was that same old fear again, rising up in his stomach like a mouthful of vomit. Placeholder, it whispered at him, each syllable, each sound, twining round and round in his sternum until it seemed like it was going to burst out of him.

“I don’t know. I really don’t,” Connor said. He wrapped Mack into a hug, allowing the beta to bury his face in his chest. Mack did so with a desperate ease. He thought things were going so well. He really had. Will had taken him on more dates, each one more exciting and lavish than the last.

Mack had started to let himself believe, had started to feel the walls he’d built around his heart crumble. It was like Will had reached in and gently removed one brick. Just one, and the walls had tumbled down.

But now it felt more like Will had smashed through his defences with a wrecking ball, all spotlights aimed at Macklin so the crowd of people who adored him could see the pitiful beta he’d left behind. He felt too sick. He was positive he was actually going to vomit.

“Connor, fuck…” Macklin bit out. He gagged. Connor’s eyes widened and he quickly picked Mack up, ignoring the way Mack slurred out that he was too heavy. Connor tucked Mack close to his chest as he took the stairs two at a time. He found the bathroom and gently lowered Mack to his feet in front of the toilet.

Mack wasted no time sinking to his knees. He retched and gagged but nothing came up, only tears and a deep-seated, long-standing hatred for himself. Connor shushed him, one hand gently soothing over Mack’s spine as the other held Mack’s hair away from his face. Footsteps sounded out behind him and Mack didn’t even have to turn to know it was Will.

He could smell the salt and the whiskey from where he sat.

“Mackie? You okay?” Will asked. Connor snarled at him, scent bristling into something disgustingly overcooked. It made Mack gag again, unable to stop himself, and he whimpered, tucking into Connor’s chest. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? Are you fucking stupid?” Connor hissed. Mack whined, a weak plea of ‘stop’ falling from his lips. Connor’s attention immediately snapped to him. “Are you sure? I’ll break his neck if I gotta.”

“I should talk to him,” Mack muttered. He pulled away from Connor’s chest and peered up at him, a hopefully reassuring smile crossing his features. “Will you be okay? I’ll call you if I need you.”

“Okay. If that’s what you want,” Connor said. Mack nodded and allowed Connor to help him stand up before he gently pushed him to go. Connor pulled him in for another quick hug before he exited the bathroom. As he crossed Will, he glared at him and muttered, “one word from Mack, and I will kill you myself.” Will didn’t respond.

When Connor was gone, the sound of his feet on the stairs long since faded, Mack looked up. He took one glance at Will’s face before he cracked, another broken sob falling from his lips. “Why?” He croaked out, unable to look at Will as he asked it.

“Let’s go to my room, please. I don’t want to do this here,” Will said. Mack nodded, the action stuttered, before he slowly shuffled after Will, fingers picking at the hem of his shirt. It was the only nice, party-esque shirt he owned, and it was a tad too tight on him. Will had confessed that he liked it once, but now Mack felt stupid. Why was he dressing up for an alpha that clearly didn’t want him?

Mack entered Will’s room, a soft wince falling from his mouth when he heard the door shut. He was alone with an alpha who had all but rejected him and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know why he’d agreed to speak to him in private. He wanted to cry, but he knew that would just makes things uncomfortable and weird.

No one liked a beta that cried.

“I want to say it’s not what it looks like, but I know that’s the worst way to start this, so…” Will trailed off with a sigh. Mack watched as Will’s dragged a hand through his hair, his fingers tangling in the strands. He winced as he bullied his way through, blonde hair curled around his digits.

“What was it?” Mack asked.

“A stupid idea, that’s what it was. I… I told the guys on my team about you. I was serious about it, too, but they said… they said you weren’t. Said you were just using me,” Will said. Mack let out a pained noise.

“And you believed them?” He cried.

“No, god no, Mack, never. But they wouldn’t let up about it. Came up with this stupid idea to ‘test your loyalty’ or some shit by trying to make you jealous. I only agreed to do it because I thought it’d shut them up, get them off my back. I didn’t expect them to pick out an omega for me to actually do it with,” Will said. He ran his hand through his hair again. More loose strands tumbled from his fingers as he lowered his arm back down. Mack frowned.

“And you still did it? Why didn’t you just say no? Or… or tell me?” Mack muttered. His insecurities were still sharpening, less like a knife and more like a thousand of them. He swore his heart had seemingly switched melodies. It seemed to beat to the rhythm of one word – placeholder. Why was every single one of his fears coming true?

“I don’t know. Thought maybe I’d feel more like an alpha if I did,” Will said. Mack’s heart stuttered then, a rabbit falling down dead mid-hop. He thought Will didn’t care about all that shit. “I know that like… I said I don’t care about society’s expectations for what an alpha should or shouldn’t do, but when your friends start giving you funny looks because you told them you’re courting a beta… it’s hard not to feel wrong, somehow. I felt like… if I just did what they said, flirted with this omega to try and make you jealous, maybe I’d feel like a better alpha somehow. Instead, I just feel like a massive prick.”

“Will… you’re the best alpha I’ve ever met,” Mack said. He stepped closer, a handful of steps. He wasn’t sure what his scent was doing, head too fluffed up and full of Will’s. “I… I know how important your friends are to you, and if that means… if that means we have to end this, then so be it.”

“No!” Will protested. He crossed the small space between them, fingers sinking into Mack’s thick waist as he breathed sharply through his mouth. “No, no, no, fuck them. I’m not… do you want this to end?” Will’s eyes swam with tears and Mack knew his own were no better.

“No,” he choked out. A fresh wave of tears flooded his cheeks, and Will’s dam burst next. They melted into each other, foreheads pressed together as they both cried. Mack knew they needed to really discuss what had happened and the ways to move forwards. With a shaky breath, he let his biggest fear slip out. “I didn’t want to just be another placeholder, another beta to fill an omega’s spot.”

“Never,” Will whispered. His hands were shaking as they came up to cradle Mack’s face. His thumbs gently brushed over the damp mass of Mack’s cheeks, and he sighed softly, eyes slipping closed, as Mack pulled him into an embrace.

“I need you, Will. More than I expected,” Mack muttered. “But I need time too. You really hurt me.”

“I know. I’ll give you all the time you want. Just… forgive me, that’s all I ask,” Will choked out. The sound of him crying, this seemingly confident alpha breaking down in his arms, hurt Mack. It made his heart stutter and his stomach clench unnervingly. The urge to sooth washed over him and he gently let out some soft mews, a smile crossing his face when Will’s scent brightened, less bitter and more sweet.

“I’ve always forgiven you,” Mack muttered. “Will you forgive me when I’m too big, when I’m too much?” Mack asked, voice shaking as he spoke. He needed to know the answer, needed to know that Will would let him try and fix himself up. That Will would stay by him side as Macklin fought harder and harder to shift his weight.

“I’d never need to. You’re not too much of anything, Macklin. You’re gorgeous the way you are and I’d never want you to change unless it’d make you happy,” Will said. He opened his eyes, gaze resolute as he met Mack’s. Mack blushed and went to duck his head, but Will gently caught his chin, freezing him in place. “I mean it.” Mack could tell he did. His eyes were firm yet warm, oceanic pools that matched his scent.

“I know you do.”

--

Mack’s hands were shaking, his phone perpetually threatening to slip from his grasp and clatter to the footwell of the passenger seat. He knew his scent was probably rotten and bitter, enough to drive Connor wild, but the omega hadn’t said anything.

They pulled into the carpark of the rink, the car engine purring under them as they sat in silence. Connor didn’t say anything, just waited until Mack was ready. Mack sighed softly, fingers fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. It was one of Will’s BC Eagles jerseys, and Mack had wanted to wear it with pride, but still that same niggling fear tickled at the base of his brain.

“What if he hates this?” Mack muttered, half to himself. Connor snorted with laughter before he quickly apologised, one hand covering the lower half of his mouth. Mack huffed with his own short bout of laughter. “It’s fine. I’m just being stupid, aren’t I?”

“A little bit. But if Will didn’t want you supporting him, you know he wouldn’t have given you the jersey. And considering it was soaked in his scent when you got it… it’s safe to say that this’ll be a great surprise,” Connor said. Mack smiled and shook his head. There was no arguing with that, was there?

“Shall we go in?” Mack asked. Connor nodded and unclipped his seatbelt, Macklin doing the same seconds later. They stepped out of the car and exchanged a look over the top of it before they were walking side by side, heading toward the rink. As they entered, Mack muttered to himself under his breath.

“You are not a placeholder.”