Chapter Text
Why is this so hard? I got what I wanted in a way...
Bakugou won't stop kissing my neck. I feel his hot breath against my neck, the tears gliding down his face onto my skin, his soft lips caressing me. I would open my eyes to look at him but when I do, there is a ping of guilt in my chest. He does not want me. I feel the pressure of his body moving. There is less pressure on me now. No longer do I feel his kisses, let alone his breath.
“Ei, are you going to kiss me again or not?” His voice is rough and hurt. I open my eyes. There he was sitting on top of me. Hair messy, eyes slightly pink, wearing a black shirt and sweats. My eyes move around the small back row of Bakugou's car. It is dark. Honestly shocking that I can even see him at all. I feel his eyes staring me down waiting for an answer. I push myself up and towards him to shorten the distance between us.
In a hushed voice, I respond.
“Only if you want me to.” His face twists as if it were silly of me to say such things.
“Why would I move us to back if I did not want you to kiss me more?” That is fair. Things were already hot and heavy earlier. Then suddenly I want him to stop? This is all I have wanted for years. But it is not...
I see Bakugou's face move closer to mine. He seems to be inspecting me.
“We can stop.”
“I don't want that.”
“Then kiss me like you did a few minutes ago”
“Oh, this is one is going to better than that.”
“Re-” I cut him off by pressing my mouth against his. Feeling his cocky smirk fade away as our lips mash together. I close my eyes and let my body get comfortable with him. Bakugo presses forward, deepening the kiss. Fuck this feels good. Finally, being this close to him. Giving in to my wants.
This is not what he wants.
I wrap my arms around his waist to keep our closeness. To feel that maybe he is truly mine in this moment. He is here with me now, only because he could not be with Him. Bakugou pushes against me, moving both of our bodies down against seats.
My back against the leather seats, my jeans pressing against his sweats, and my arms exploring his back. He feels so strong. I feel him starting to rub his lower body on mine. I cannot help but grin. He really wants more of me. Becoming needy in my hands. He must have felt it because he pulled away from me. Propping himself up with his arms. Leaving me in a pinned position. I was expecting a smirk and a sarcastic comment. Something cocky and playful. But when my eyes met his, I saw something entirely different.
They were swelling up with tears again. His face was dropped, and he pulled himself completely up preceding to get off my body.
“What's wrong? Was this too far?” I asked him. Propping myself up with my arms then moving my back against the car door to see him better. To show him that I do care and that I am genuinely listening.
“It's fine.” He continues to stay away from me. Now looking down at the ground.
“It's fine if this is not what you wanted...I get ... it if you do not want.... me...” I do not know what else to say. His eyes dart up to look at me.
“I want you, but I know you're not what I need” His eyes began to swell up again, but he quickly whips his eyes. All I can think is that I am. I am the one he needs at least I want to be. My eyes are unmoving from Bakugou's face. “Let's go home” His voice is raspy. He places his hand against the door handle and pushes it open. My eyes follow him as he walks in front of the car to return to the driver's seat. I get up, open the door, and walk to the passenger side of the car. Trying to focus on my movements to prevent thinking about his words. Bakugou's rough and raw words. I get inside the car once more and stare out of the car window. Watching all the city lights blur by.
What is wrong with me?