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"Alright," Ashfur began, "So what ur sayin' is if we [ELIMINATE] Squirrelflight, we can be gay and kiss??" "Yuhhh" said Brambleabuse. "Wif no gorl chasing after us hot men, we can be Ravenpaw and Barley fr fr!!" Excitedly mrrroeeeooooooooowed Brambleclaw. "So why don't we do that right meow ;-;" Ashfur questioned shyly.... "Y'okay" Mkay'ed Brandlecurse.
[Like, a something later]
"Heyyyy Squilf!" Shouted Ashbrambleclawfur,
"OMGAWD!!! HAWT MEN!!" Yowled Squirrelfly, sprinting over to the attractive cats.
"Heyy Squilf....' murdered Bramblefur, "What's that over there?" Squilf turned looked away, "Hwat thing?"
BAM!
Thud.
Ashfur blew away the steam from the bullet, "Howdy, partner." "OMG we CAN be partners, you gay!!' purred Ramblingclaw! "Yass queen!" Ashfurry slayed, riding off into the distance. A tumbleweed blew it's nose, and the sunset was setting. All while they passionately made out.
HAPPILY EVER AFTER. THE. END.
[EPILOGUE]
(as a ghost) "Erm, if I haz no man" Said Squirrelflight, "Imma marry dead ghost Moonlight."
END END REAL.
