Work Text:
I wrote this whole fic while listening to Timelapse by NCT 127 on loop. Just a side note.
Just a little bit - Enhypen —————————————————————————
“I always knew it would be Haechan from the start.”
Mark’s voice echoes through Donghyuck’s speakers for what seems like the hundredth time that evening.
“HYUCK. I love you, but PLEASE turn that shit off,” Jaemin yells from his room down the hall.
Currently, Donghyuck doesn’t give a flying fuck if Jaemin was bothered by him playing Mark’s video on loop the entire evening in the dorm living room. What he’s more focused on is the fact that Mark had spent a good whole ass five minutes in an album interview, talking about Donghyuck and how beautiful his voice was and how perfect he was and how—
“Dude. You gotta calm down. He’s calling your addition to the ALBUM perfect… not YOU perfect.”, Chenle says, lazily flopping onto the couch right next to Donghyuck.
Oh. Donghyuck didn’t realize he was saying allat out loud. Whoops. It’s fine, it was just Chenle. He’ll play into it.
“Yeahhhhh what fucking ever Chenle. Let me be delusional and have my moment.”, Donghyuck snaps jokingly.
Chenle rolls his eyes and snickers as he lunges forward to grab the TV remote.
“Jeno still practicing with Jisung?”, Jaemin asks, finally entering the living room.
Donghyuck glances at the clock. It’s well past midnight and practice for the upcoming album had already ended around dinner time.
Chenle snorts as he flips through random channels on the TV. “Yeah, I tried to get those buffoons to stop for the night but they’re too stubborn to even take a five minute break.”
Donghyuck tosses his head back in a sigh. He understands the desperation Jisung and Jeno are going through right now. The two were assigned to have a duo performance and song on the album, similar to what Donghyuck and Mark had to do for Mark’s solo album. He recalls the late nights him and Mark spent alternating between the recording studio and practice rooms. He remembers the desperation the two of them shared, frantically preparing for their song with what felt like the weight of the world on their shoulders. Oh, but get Donghyuck wrong; he was more than happy once the song was released. Everyone loved it, but consequently, his time with Mark vanished just like that. Mark had immediately busied himself with preparing for other songs on the album and attending interviews and shows for solo promotions.
With the older gone, Donghyuck felt heavy at heart. Even after repetitively being away from Mark for the past 13 years of his life, he still has never gotten used to the aching feeling occupying his heart whenever they were separated. Recently, the feeling has been getting even worse. Donghyuck craves any form of attention from Mark, whether it be a simple call back to the dorm to check on the rest of the Dreamies, or just a random mention of his name in the passing during any of his solo content.
Hence, why Donghyuck has been replaying that specific segment from a behind the scenes video that Mark randomly released out of nowhere. Donghyuck snatched the remote back out of Chenle’s hands and happily switches back to the video on YouTube, much to Jaemin’s disapproval. As Mark’s voice fills the dorm room once again, the front door clicks open and Jeno and Jisung stumble in. The pair look absolutely disheveled, exhausted out of their wits to even cross the hallway to get to their rooms. Chenle immediately shoots up from his spot on the couch to help them get to the kitchen and Jaemin starts up the stove to cook a quick snack for all of them. Donghyuck shifts his focus between the chatter of his bandmates and Marks voice, closing his eyes and letting himself get lost in the sound.
“Hyuck, please shut that off. I miss Mark too you know, but having his voice blare through the dorms at 1AM after a long practice is going to kill me,” Jeno softly whines.
Donghyuck just scoffs as he opens his eyes, turning the volume of the TV down.
“Yeah, Hyuck. I think we ALL get how much you love him,” Chenle adds.
He snaps his head back, eyes glaring daggers into Chenle who is wiggling his eyebrows around with a sly smile. Donghyuck switches off the TV quickly and mumbles, “You wish.”
Something in his stomach flipped and flopped around, and he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. You know, Donghyuck wasn’t completely opposed to the idea of what Chenle had pointed out. He knew it was a possibility, but no way in HELL was he going to confirm their suspicion just yet. However, Jisung had other plans. Or not. He doesn’t know what he’s doing half the time. He just says whatever comes to his mind.
Jisung stopped chewing and placed his spoon down on the plate in front of him. His head turned straight in Donghyuck’s direction and with the most nonchalant tone, he asked, “Um. Donghyuck? You can just tell us you like him, you know? I mean, I know I can be slow at times and not process this sorta stuff, but uh, your feelings for Mark are VERY evident, at least to me. Okay, that’s all.” Jisung looks sheepishly around the room and then back down at his soup as he picks up his spoon, resuming to eat very calmly.
Donghyuck froze, face as red as a tomato. Jaemin had both hands over his own mouth, eyes twinkling mischievously. Even Jeno put down his spoon, and tried making an honest attempt at stifling his laughter.
Finally, someone speaks. “What the fuck, Jisung. You never catch onto shit like this,” Chenle remarks, walking up the the younger and playfully ruffling his hair. Jisung tries to swat the others hands off playfully, but eventually gives in to the gesture with a grumble.
Anyways, Chenle was right. Jisung NEVER got the hint regarding basically anything. He was always slow to the latest trends or gossip going around in the group, and whenever Chenle flirted with him he’d be the most oblivious person in the room. Like what’s probably happening right now. So, Jisung openly admitting that says a LOT about Donghyuck's actions towards Mark. Which is not ideal because—
“We have GOT TO TELL INJUNNIE!!” Jaemin squeals with a clap of his hands.
Yeah. So, this is exactly why none of this should be happening.
Dread slowly fills Donghyucks lungs. Oh my good lord. Anyone BUT Renjun can know about this. The older has been trying to get Donghyuck to come clean about his feelings since what feels like forever ago, but Donghyuck would always push him away, claiming that Renjun was just trying to force his stupid little gay agenda onto him and the rest of the group. Donghyuck squeezes his eyes in frustration after imagining just a fraction of how the conversation might go, and rubs his temples in exasperation.
“Oh my god. Please shut the fuck up. Renjun cannot know about this. Plus, I’m not even sure what I feel for him, it’s just confusing right now” Donghyuck says pointedly, hoping that was enough information to keep his friends quiet.
Thankfully, they got the hint. Everyone’s expressions soften and they quickly go back to doing whatever they were doing. Donghyuck turns away from them and focuses on the now black screen of the turned off TV.
After a few minutes, Jisung gets up from his seat and plops himself down right next to Donghyuck. Donghyuck waits for the other to say something.
“Uh, did you wanna play League or something?” Donghyuck asks after what seems like eternity of Jisung just sitting there with his hands gripping his own knees, failing in trying to stop them from jerking up and down.
Jisung shakes his head. Ooooookay. So he’s back to being weird. Donghyuck raises an eyebrow and gets up to leave.
“Hey, we’re gonna support you no matter what. You know that right?”
Donghyucks stomach flips and he covers his face in embarrassment. He feels like a kid acting like this in front of THE kid himself, Park Jisung.
Jisung giggles to himself which now pisses off Donghyuck. “Oh gimme a break, Jisung. You’re starting to sound real smart given you aren’t even aware of how much a certain SOMEONE flirts with you,” Donghyuck bites back.
Somewhere in the dorm, Chenle chokes on his water. Jeno sharply pats his back while once again, failing to stifle his laughter.
Jisung looks around confused and narrows his eyes at Donghyuck. “Ummmm, okay? Hyung, are you trying to change the subject?”
Donghyuck snorts in disbelief. “Ji, you ABSOLUTE cutie,” he says, throwing a pillow at Jisung’s face before heading back to his room.
Loser - Mark —————————————————————————
“Be honest with me Hyuckie, you like Mark.”
Donghyuck flinches at the rawness in Renjun’s voice, surprised by how direct and sudden the question was sprung onto him. Renjun had just arrived back to the dorm after finishing his schedules in China, so Donghyuck should’ve known that he was in deep shit when Renjun barged into his room first thing after arriving back.
He lets out a nervous and awkward chuckle before responding. “Gosh, there you go Injunnie, again with your nonsensical claims. Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean every single one of us is also—“
Donghyuck stops. He thinks back to when Renjun and him caught Jeno and Jaemin calling each other the most sickeningly sweet nicknames ever while playing with each others hair, and when Chenle and Jisung were fighting over the last fruit snack in the pantry, to which Chenle let Jisung win, of course, but only after planting a kiss on his nose (the younger rubbed his nose in a daze - i hate dense gay people). Donghyuck let out a big sigh and flopped backwards onto the bed, flipping off Renjun in annoyance.
“Yeah.. thought so,” Renjun said. “Anyways. Just be honest with me. I’ve already heard from Chenle, you know.”
Fucking Chenle. Donghyuck can imagine his stupid ass cackling in satisfaction as he tells Renjun the events of the sudden confession that occurred a couple nights ago in the living room and kitchen. Donghyuck shoots back up, frustrated that he now has to have this conversation with Renjun way earlier than he wanted to. But oh well, fuck it.
“Renjun, I honestly don’t fucking know anymore.” Donghyuck grumbles quietly, the faintest shade of pink gracing his ears.
Renjun smiles fondly, “Go on.”
Donghyuck sighs as he glances past Renjun, staring directly at this weird looking stain on the wall. “I don’t know. He just takes up every space in my mind these days. Like, it’s been just TWO WEEKS and I feel like I’m going crazy without him. I need to be fucking for real because I went TWO WHOLE MONTHS without him for SuperMs tour, and I don’t think I gave a flying fuck about him being gone back then, so why the fuck am I stressing over a couple weeks?!”
Renjun chuckles softly. “Hyuckie, first calm down. Also, SuperMs tour was ages ago. Feelings evolve and change over time, right? You’re not the same person you were 6 years ago.”
And to this, Donghyuck sighs in frustration. Renjun always finds a way to make even the weirdest things feel okay, because Renjun would always say “all feelings are valid” or some sappy supportive shit like that. Donghyuck turns and directly faces Renjun now.
“Renjun. I’m shit scared. I don’t know if I truly like him or I just care about him as a friend too much. The lines are starting to blur and I’m so confused.” Donghyuck adds bashfully.
“Why are you so scared to just let the lines blur?” Renjun asks as if the answer isn’t painstakingly obvious.
Donghyuck winces as he gets the words out. “What if he doesn’t like me back, or hates me for the way I feel. What if I tell him everything and our friendship gets weird or awkward? I don’t know how I could ever deal with the regret knowing I was the one who ruined our friendship.” Okay, it sounds so cliche when he gets the words out, but still. Very real concerns.
“Donghyuck, you don’t even know how the man feels for YOU. Why are you only looking at the negatives? Think about what could be.”
“But I literally have so much to lose if I confess, WE have so much to lose. If I lose him, it could affect the group, and that’s the last thing any of us want.”
“Well, a good leader and a good friend would not let a confession ruin how he manages his team AND his best friend of 13 years,” Renjun argues.
And to that, Donghyuck is silent. He knows Mark is smart enough than to let some lame ass confession consume his entire being and let it affect the group.
Renjun urges once again, “Think about it Hyuck, please. It’ll calm your heart,”
I <3 U - EVNNE —————————————————————————
It’s been a whole week, and his heart has been anything BUT calm. After his talk with Renjun, Donghyuck has non-stop been thinking about Mark, his feelings for Mark, and every single little Mark thing in between. Every thought, action, and activity leads to the mention of Mark somewhere or somehow.
It’s been irritating him so much that when Mark’s name flashes brightly on Donghyucks cellphone that evening, he nearly smashes it to the ground. He stares at his phone, nervous, and blinks until the screen finally fades to black.
What the fuck was that about? He swipes open his phone and checks his notification center.
Milk
10:52PM - Hey. Call me? It’s been a while.
Donghyucks thumbs hover over the keyboard. He really does not want to talk to Mark right now, not with all his feelings. Yet at the same time, he’s eager to hear Marks voice again. Not from the TV directed to the fans, but personally, directed only to Donghyuck. He takes a deep breath in and presses the call back button. Oh fuck it, he’s acting like a big baby about the whole thing anyways. He’ll just simply catch up with Mark and move on with his night. Nothing could go wrong, right?
“Donghyuck? Hyuck.” Mark says, clearing his throat before calling him by the nickname.
Yeah, wrong.
Donghyuck’s mind blanks and he finds himself blushing ever so slightly. What the FUCK was wrong with him oh my god.
“Hey, Mark! Sorry I missed your call the first time. ”
“No worries, how have you been? I never got to speak with you privately after our promos together finished up.”
“Aww Melk, worried about me that quick? I’m doing fine, no need to worry! How are you?” Donghyuck adds playfully. It’s just a normal call. They’re just catching up. Nothing big.
“Dude, obviously I’d be worried. You’ve been working nonstop and honestly speaking, I was surprised with how much you pushed yourself just for my project. It truly meant a lot to me.. I just wanted to make sure you’re finally getting the rest you deserve.”
Donghyucks stomach flips a billion times and Marks words ring through his head. It was nothing short of what Mark had already explained to interviewers when asked about his thoughts regarding Donghyucks work on the song, but something was different this time. Hearing the words of praise privately uttered to him for no one else to hear was truly a special feeling, one that Donghyuck could never shove down no matter how hard he tried.
Finally, he finds the words to respond as he chuckles “Thanks, Hyung. It really means a lot to hear directly from you to me now.”
“Yeah dude, I gotchu. Just making sure you knew. Anyways, I think I’ll be back in a couple weeks? My manager was filling me in on…”
But Donghyuck had already tuned out. His mind kept wandering back to the words Mark said and he found himself grinning to the phone like a fucking helpless idiot (which is what he most certainly was).
“Hyuck?? Donghyuck? Hellooooo? The fuck, did the call end— HELLO?!”
Donghyuck snapped back to reality, heat creeping up his neck in embarrassment. Holy shit he was such a pathetic loser lmfao.
“Yeah, sorry sorry I’m here. I’m super tired I’ve been zoning out.”
“No worries, I’ll let you get your rest. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”
“Mhm, see you Milk. Stay safe.”
“You too Duckie. Please sleep well.”
And at the end, Mark adds quickly before ending the call, “I really miss you.”
Donghyuck freezes, mind completely stopped. Before he can react, the call cuts and Donghyuck is left with a locked phone reflecting his completely shocked and flushed face. Um. It’s normal right? For two best friends to say they miss each other, right? Yeah, it’s totally normal and it’s fine, even if it feels like the person saying it has been trying not to let it slip for so long, uttering it quietly like the words were a secret meant to be untold. It was fine. It was normal. It was—
Donghyuck’s heart almost leaps out of his fucking balls when he hears his phone buzz to life.
Milk
11:17PM - By the way, I’ve sent something over to the Dreamies dorm for you, it should come in tomorrow morning. Make sure you don’t miss it.
Donghyuck silently screams into his pillow. Is it the delusion (??), god fucking knows, but there’s something that Mark’s doing that has been getting Donghyuck feeling ever so slightly hopeful.
Journey Mercies - Mark —————————————————————————
“HYUUUUCK, THERES A PARCEL FOR YOUUU!!!” Jeno shouts from the other side of the dorm.
Donghyuck shoots up from his bed, groggily recounting the memories of his conversation with Mark. He groans in embarrassment, remembering when Mark caught him zoning out in the middle of their conversation. But then, he remembers the text he received right after. He slides off the bed and slips into his slippers, frantically rushing to open the door and take the parcel.
“Dude slow down, your shit isn’t going anywhere.” Jeno laughs, surprised to see Donghyuck charging at him full speed while still half asleep.
Donghyuck snatches the lean package from Jeno’s hands and grumbles a quick thank you before quickly retreating back to his room. Once settled back in bed and package in hand, Donghyuck slowly rips the cardboard envelope open. His hands shake ever so slightly, excitement coursing through his body. He sticks his fingers into the parcel, grabbing onto a cool and sleek pamphlet with a letter attached on the front.
He pulls the letter from its sleeve, gently opening it, half scared of what he’s about to read. Immediately he recognizes Mark’s sloppy ass handwriting and giggles softly.
He begins to read:
“Donghyuck,
It’s me, Mark. Well okay, you know that because I made sure you kept an eye out for this package. Anyway, sorry, this whole writing shit is nerve wracking. I don’t remember the last time I created a handwritten letter for somebody, but this event was special enough and I assured myself that it called for an equally special action.
First, I want to thank you from the depths of my heart for your help and support on my album. I genuinely, TRULY would have never been able to do this without you, I really hope you always keep that in mind. You’ve been my number one pillar of support since day one, even through the fights, quarrels, and arguments. Our friendship never wavered in the eyes of each others success and wellbeing. I’m sure you’re sick of hearing this since apprently this clip is like trending online ?? but I really wasn’t lying when I said that I knew from the beginning that you would be perfect for my album. You’re so special to me Hyuck, and dedicating an entire album to my life’s journey without having you in it would just make it feel so incomplete. You’ve been a part of my life for far longer than I can even remember, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Maybe I’m being selfish here but, I hope the feeling is mutual.
Anyways, I included a lil something special for you in here… it’s a sample of what our pre release song was supposed to look like if given a physical album. I pushed for the release of the physical copy for so long and went so far to even contact a place on my own free time to create a mini photo book with CDs and posters included just to pitch the idea to the marketing team. Unfortunately, those lame asses hate fun and joy and my idea was rejected. Fuck SM lololol. So that sucked, but I still wanted to make sure that you also got to see a part of something that could’ve been, and hopefully it’s enough to make you understand truly how much your help has meant to me over the years.
I wouldn’t be here without you Duckie, thank you for everything.
Yours,
Mark. Melk. Milk.“
Donghyuck feels his heart get caught in his throat. Lying before him is the photo book, cover designed in a collage of pictures taken from his and Marks photo shoot for 82 Pressin’, finished with the songs title printed in stylized font at the top.
He clutches the album and sits quietly, tears falling down his face as he realizes his one true fear was slowly coming true. Donghyuck might be falling in love with Mark.
More days pass and Donghyuck feels ashamed of himself. He never cries, he’s always the mood maker and needs to have a smile plastered on his face 24/7, but these days, that facade seems to break ever so quickly at just the slightest mention of Mark. Donghyuck has always known he was the emotional type at heart, so it was no surprise that his feelings for the other had started to overwhelm him. However, the fact that it was so strong to the point he felt the urge to sob at the mere thought of Mark was getting ridiculous. It felt like a fight or flight response at this point. His heart had already accepted that there could be a possibility of him falling in love with Mark, but his mind tried to fight otherwise, overthinking every consequence that would follow this act.
The company had always warned idols what would happen if relationships begun within the company. It was painted as this grand, scary picture, filled with lots of legal details that teenage Donghyuck could care less about. As he was maturing however, he heeded extra caution to his seniors and managers warning him about the concerns around idol affairs, which was the pretext to his overarching paranoia surrounding the realization of his love for Mark. They were older now, more successful and locked in to this whole idol shit on a scarily intense level. If Donghyuck fucked up by confessing, it could end the mountains of effort procured not just by him, but also Mark. The thought of Mark’s career falling just because of Donghyuck’s selfish actions pricked a sore spot in his heart, aching as the thought began to grow bigger and bigger.
Donghyuck was now fully aware of how scary his love was, and immediately started trying to sew up the seams of his already broken heart before it could completely burst and ruin everything around him.
Not Your Fault - NCT U —————————————————————————
It happened in the middle of the night, at a time so obscure that not even a single sound could be heard through the dorm except for the static buzzing made from the refrigerator. Donghyuck likes these hours, given there’s not a single quiet moment in the dreamies dorm these days. He sits in the living room humming to himself as he lets his mind wander.
He thinks back to the flurry of what the past couple weeks have been, and the feelings that he’s been suppressing within himself for so long. He thinks of Mark, he’s ALWAYS thinking of Mark, but the man has never felt this distant to him in his life before, as if living in his mind purely as a figment of Donghyuck imagination, a fragment of his past. Yes, they saw each other like deadass three weeks ago, but that’s a lot given Donghyuck has just freshly realized how strongly he feels for the other. Donghyuck lets his gaze travel from the blur of his reflection on the TV to the dark silhouette of Seoul’s skyline filling the window to his right. He wonders how different life would be without Mark and the fact that he wouldn’t be where was now if not for Mark. Confessing feels just stupid at this point.
Donghyuck’s mind fogs over and he brings a hand up to his hair, frustratingly ruffling it in exhaustion with himself, with his mind, and the unnecessary thoughts that have been filling them recently. He so desperately wills and wishes for them to go away, fade into the crisp night air as quickly as it can. He shivers a bit, suddenly becoming aware of the emptiness surrounding him, and before wanting an unattainable warmth around him, he stands up and begins to make way back to his room.
Before he can turn around, he hears the door click and slowly creak open. Donghyuck freezes. All the Dreamies are asleep, and there’s only one other person who can enter their dorm but… Donghyuck frowns. It can’t be, Mark’s schedules don’t end for another week. Donghyuck lifts his head slowly, eyes already adjusted to the dark and catches the sight of Mark’s worn down converse, peeking through the door in a somewhat quiet shuffle. Mark’s head pokes in, scanning the dorm quickly and suddenly—
Teddy Bear - NCT DREAM—————————————————————————
“Holy SHIT,” Mark exclaims in a loud whisper trying not to shout in shock as he ducks away from the door.
“Who the fu— Hyuck, is that you?” Mark says as he puts his whole body through the door, fully entering while lugging a small suitcase behind him.
Mark’s eyes squint as if trying to focus in the dark, the dark which Donghyuck is already acclimated to, an acclimation that allows him to see every curve, dip, and feature along Mark’s face. Tears fill his eyes as his heart beats crazily, and Donghyuck shamefully gazes down to the floor.
“Hey Mark, long time no see,” he mumbles quietly.
“Dude, you scared the shit outta me. It’s god knows when in the morning. Why the hell are you still awake?”
Donghyuck musters every ounce of power in his body to not cry. Just the sound of Mark’s strained and tired voice was causing him to spiral. His feelings were catching up to him scarily fast, and every thought he was trying to avoid suddenly sprung up into his brain, as if reacting simply from the sound of Mark’s voice.
“I couldn’t sleep. I thought you were coming back next week?” Donghyuck says, trying to meet Mark’s gaze while urging his thoughts to go away.
“What, not happy to see me? Damn Hyuck…” Mark asks playfully.
“No, no that’s not what I was tryna say,” Donghyuck frantically assures.
It’s just playful banter, he tells himself, like how it’s always been. Nothing more, nothing less.
In a smaller voice, he repeats “It’s been a while, just surprised to see you back, thats all.”
Mark chuckles as he walks forward to give Donghyuck a hug. But Donghyuck takes a step back. He can’t handle Mark being this close, at least just not right now. Mark visibily frowns and the air around them stills and shifts. He stops approaching the other and stands awkwardly with his hands half up in the air before he lets them fall limply to his side. He then turns around and puts his suitcase to the side of the wall.
“Everything good.. Hyuck? Nothing happened while I was gone?” Mark asks cautiously with a hint of worry in his voice.
Fuck, Donghyuck couldn’t do this for much longer.
“Nah, all good. Just exhausted with prep for our comeback. You have a lot to catch up on, you know. Donghyuck says, trying to switch the topic.
Mark groans and slides off his beanie and jacket, storing them inside the closet before responding, “Gosh, it feels like forever since I’ve seen you guys and our first hangout with me back is gonna be spent in those stupid ass practice rooms.”
Donghyuck forces a chuckle out glad that the tension has broken off a bit, albeit caused by him.
“Sooo… I heard you’ve been assigned with the shitty task of helping me catch up on Dream’s choreo?” Mark continues.
Right. In his obsession over thinking how to deal with his feelings, he had completely forgotten that he was tasked with doing the exact opposite: sticking by Mark’s side 24/7 till comeback.
Donghyuck exhales sharply and lifts his head as he lazily forces on a smile. “Ah yes…. Unfortunate for me, but I know you’re secretly excited to be around me so much.”
Mark rolls his eyes at the other. “Yeah yeah, whatever. Imma head to bed.”
Donghyuck finds himself disappointed and wanting to be around Mark just a little longer. He knows he’ll regret doing this but.. fuck it.
“Not so fast, Melk. Get some food in your system first then head to bed. We have a long day tomorrow.”
Mark groans but Donghyuck knows how happy he is through the soft grin that erupts as he walks towards the barstools in the kitchen. Donghyuck takes pride in his cooking skills, and mentally pats himself on the back after recognizing Marks tiny act of approval. Donghyuck struts over to the kitchen, getting the ingredients out from the fridge to make Marks favorite stacked omelette over rice. As he moves around the kitchen, he feels the heat of Marks gaze sharply follow every move he makes. Donghyuck breathes in sharply, before squeezing his eyes tight, mentally preparing to hear the answer to something he might regret asking.
“Mark, something on your mind? I can feel you watching me like a hawk.” Donghyuck turns around after starting up the stove, and with a slight eye roll he snarkily adds, “Don’t worry, I won’t add poison to your food. I’m not trying to kill you. Yet.”
Mark raises an eyebrow at that last statement, but just props his head onto his arms and lets out a sigh. “Duckie…. You didn’t say anything about the gift I sent you while I was gone.”
Shit. Donghyuck quickly turns back and busies himself by cracking an egg into the pan.
“Did you… not like it?” Mark presses further.
Donghyuck doesn’t know why he didn’t message Mark back regarding the letter and the album. Well, that’s a lie. He was MORE than aware as to why he didn’t reply, but that’s exactly the thought that he did not want to confront just yet.
Still focusing on the egg cooking in the pan, he clears his throat and dryly responds, “Sorry, Mark. I really wanted to message you about it but didn’t find the time to, I’ swear.”
Donghyuck could hear Mark frown.
“Dude, it’s fine, just.. if you didn’t like it or I dunno.. it made you feel uncomfortable, just tell me, okay?” Mark shifted around in his seat.
Donghyuck whipped around and looked at Mark with frantic eyes. Mark was seriously starting to misunderstand this.
“No!” Donghyuck lets out, maybe a bit too loudly.
“I mean, no, I liked it a lot”, he continues, quieter this time.
“It was enough, more than enough actually. Thank you.”
Mark beams at Donghyuck and lets out a hum to acknowledge his words. Donghyuck turns to flip the egg, heart practically beating out of his chest. Without thinking, he randomly blurts out, “The letter was sweet too, Hyung, didn’t know you had it in you to write words like that.”
That was stupid. Of course Mark could write so sweetly like that he’s a fucking lyricist for goodness sake. Donghyuck was trying SO hard not to tremble as he plated the egg with rice.
“I- I mean uh. Yeah. Um. Well it’s all true. So.” Mark says, stumbling upon his words, ending with a shrug at the end. He was trying so hard to act nonchalant, yet failed so miserably.
Donghyuck turns around and sets the plate in front of Mark, letting out a nervous chuckle.
Suddenly, the air was getting way too thick for his liking, and before bolting back to his room he says,
“Eat up, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“See you, Hyuckie.” Mark croaks out.
Donghyuck shuts the door softly behind him. He stands, back pressed across the cool wall as his mind tries to process what the fuck just happened. When his brain finally catches up to him, he feels his whole face grow hot, and lets out a frustrated groan before jumping onto his bed and silently screaming into his pillow.
He was undoubtedly, very surely, honestly and wholly, as if it wasn’t already super fucking obvious, in love with Mark Lee.
What Donghyuck fails to catch, is the intense blush creeping on Marks neck and face as he scarfs down his dinner.
Flying Kiss - NCT DREAM —————————————————————————
Being stuck in a dimly lit practice room for nearly 18 hours a day with someone you’re not supposed to be in love with, was, to put it simply, excruciating. After that night, Donghyuck had accepted the fact that he was very surely in love with his best friend, and frantically started worrying about how he’d keep his feelings at bay while also being forced to dance with him routinely till comeback. Which was now about a week away.
At first, Donghyuck tried to limit being close to Mark as much as possible. He’d be nice and interact with Mark just enough so that the other would not get suspicious. The second practice ended for the day, he’d dash back to the dorms, leaving Mark in a daze. Donghyuck felt so, SO bad for how he was discreetly avoiding Mark, but it just had to be done at least until they weren’t breathing down each others necks 24/7. But of course, Donghyuck could never have anything go his way. Somewhere down the line, Mark caught on to his actions.
Just as Donghyuck was about to dash out the room to hide in the dorms, Mark beat him to the door and covered the entire opening with his body. He looked stupid, legs spread apart sticking to the doorframe and arms sprawled above his head, blocking the entrance at the top. Donghyuck cowered beneath Mark, panicking striking him from the nervous look on Mark’s face.
“Sorry, um, this feels a little stupid. Mark drops his hands down and retracts his legs back together so that he’s standing normally. He sheepishly rubs his neck before confronting the younger in front of him.
“Yo, dude, you’ve been like, SUPER fucking weird lately.” Mark says, looking curiously at Donghyuck
“Yeah I have no idea what you’re talking about”, Donghyuck says, looking at the ground sounding VERY unconvincing.
“Cmon man I’ve known you for like, what, 13 years now? We’ve gotten into enough fights for me to realize what you do when you’re trying to avoid me.”
Donghyuck doesn’t say anything.
Mark takes a deep breath. Then he exhales. “Did I… do something? I feel like I might’ve said something weird or offended you that night when I got back.”
Once again, Donghyuck felt the stupid tears spring to his eyes once again. Fuck being emotional, this shit sucks so bad.
After what feels like a billion years of silence, Mark quietly continues. “Fine. I won’t press you to talk, just…. Please don’t ignore me. You’re my best friend.”
And then Mark does it. He makes Donghyuck go absolutely fucking crazy. Mark wraps his hands around the other and brings him in for a tight hug. Except Mark doesn’t hug people, so he has no clue what the fuck he’s doing. One hand is slung across Donghyuck’s shoulders and the other rests awkwardly on his waist. They stay like that for what Donghyuck thinks is forever, and before he even gets the chance to wrap his own arms around Mark, Mark swiftly retracts, looking away shyly.
“Um, okay, that’s all. Thanks for the help today.” And before he processes what JUST happened, Mark fucking SKEDADDLES out the practice room, leaving even his duffle bag with his shit in it behind. Good lord.
Donghyuck has officially sent his give a fucks on vacation. His mind was blank on the walk back to the dorms, and he didn’t even bother to greet the other members when he arrived. He simply just went to his room and stared at the fuck ass wall. The wall with that weird spot.
He’s had enough. This whole stupid putting distance between him and Mark thing was enough. He was going absolutely fucking crazy. SO CRAZY, that the next day when he sees Mark at practice, all he feels is this sickening love. No matter how much his mind begs him to step back and keep maintaining his distance, his heart is telling him to savor every second spent close to Mark, to relish it before it might just disappear forever.
And that’s exactly what Donghyuck does. He listens to his heart and gives in to his desires. He dances with Mark, wearing his heart on his sleeve without a care in the world anymore of what could hurt or keep it safe. He lets himself flow carefree besides the other, ignoring the sirens blaring in his head, begging him to stop. He’s has enough of them being away from each other. What he needs right now is to be right next to Mark, standing in the spot that’s always been reserved for him, and him only.
Midnight Fiction - ILLIT —————————————————————————
Finally, the day of the Dreamies comeback arrived. The dorm was buzzing frantic shouts and the occasional chatter, with all of them quickly scrambling to finish their food before heading to the show center to get prepped for the live stage. Donghyuck kept himself besides Mark the whole morning, eating with him and sitting next to him in the car ride to their destination. Mark was quiet, probably feeling the nerves of it all, but would glance at Donghyuck every now and then with a smile on his face.
Donghyuck on the other hand, was internally panicking. He had been so close to completely slipping up in front of Mark and confessing his feelings during the last few practices. He knew he was just digging his own grave by glueing himself to the side of Mark, but he just couldn’t stand the thought of being separated from the other anymore.
When they arrived to the center, the members split up, and got sent to different rooms to get dressed and have their hair and makeup done.
Of course, Donghyuck was paired up with—
“Soooooooooo…” Renjun says, dragging out the word when they enter the makeup room.
“You look like you have something VERY important to tell me.”
Donghyuck blushes in embarrassment. He hadn’t told Renjun yet about his feelings for Mark because they barely had any alone time together since their last deep conversation. Donghyuck actually really wanted to spill everything to the other in hopes that it would calm his heart just a bit, so he was glad the opportunity finally presented itself to him.
“Okay don’t freak out and don’t yell ‘I told you so’ because I will ACTUALLY fucking murder you, but… yeah. I am very much in love with Mark Lee.”
Renjun looks at Donghyuck with wide eyes and a toothy grin.
“Heh, only took you like 10 years to finally admit it.”
“Okay, now what fuck does that mean?!“
”Oh my god. Whatever, that’s besides the point. Tell me EVERYTHING.”
And so, Donghyuck tells Renjun everything. He starts from the phone call and ends at the confrontation after practice. The whole time through, Renjun was nodding along, smiling supportively as he listened to his dear friend spill his heart. When Donghyuck finished, they both let out a long sigh and laughed, Renjun understanding the frustration Donghyuck has had to endure, and Donghyuck feeling thankful that he has someone like the other to talk to.
Renjun didn’t overdramatize anything or press for any more details, he just gave Donghyuck a quick hug at the end of the conversation and said, “You’re seriously brave, Hyuckie. Just don’t keep things within yourself for too long. Just trust your heart.”
Donghyuck gives Renjun a weak smile, knowing deep down that his words are wise, but just hard to follow through with. After they finish dressing, Renjun heads out the room first, leaving Donghyuck alone for a bit. He stares at his reflection in the mirror, exhaling deeply before assuring himself that he just had to endure this last day of chaos. After this, everything would be normal, and he would be able to keep his feelings at bay. Donghyuck hypes himself a bit before promptly shooting up from his chair and marching to the door, confident that they were going to fucking rock the performance. He puts on a smug smile, ready to go joke around with the other members to loosen up some nerves, and twists the handle of the door open.
Chroma Drift - Plave —————————————————————————
Of course, to Donghyuck’s terrible luck, standing right outside the door is a wide eyed Mark Lee. As the door swings open they make sudden eye contact, Donghyuck nearly yelping and Mark almost dropping the coffee in his hands.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry. Um, I brought you coffee?”
Mark extends a cup of towards Donghyucks direction, but Donghyuck could care less. He’s currently frozen in place, soaking in the sight of Mark in his stage outfit and makeup. He was so, so god damn beautiful.
Renjuns words echoed through his head ‘Just trust your h-‘
“Mark. I’m so fucking in love with you.”
Now Mark REALLY drops the drinks on the floor. Neither of them glance down at the mess, they just stare at each other with wide eyes. Suddenly, Donghyuck registers what just happened and brings a hand up to his mouth, finally realizing that he just confessed out loud.
“Holy shit, um, I-“ Donghyuck takes a few steps back, scanning for an exit as his head starts spinning.
After what seems like forever, Mark asks in a quiet voice, “Did you.. mean that?” His face was dusted with pink and eyes averted from the other.
“I uh, I don’t really know?” Donghyuck was done for. This was the end. Goodbye everynyan.
“It’s a yes or no question, Donghyuck”
“..Yeah. I meant it.”
“Are you serious?”
Donghyuck retracts. What the fuck. If Mark didn’t like him back, he could just say that… he didn’t need to be rude about it.
“I mean, fine, we can just fucking forget this if you want.” Donghyuck snaps back, hurt lacing his voice.
“No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that. I just wanted to make sure this wasn’t a huge joke.” Mark says frantically with worry.
Donghyuck gives him a pointed look. “And why would that matter…?”
“Hyuck, I’m in love with you too, as if that wasn’t so painstakingly obvious,” Mark chuckles nervously, eyes wandering to find something to look at just to ground him.
Oh. What. Donghyuck freezes in his place and glances back down to the coffee stained floor, praying for some courage to stabilize him.
“Did you really not catch on? I thought my letter was a dead giveaway, that’s why I was so paranoid when you didn’t say anything about it. I thought you figured my feelings out and, I don’t know… hated me for it.” Mark continues, painstakingly embarrassed.
“OH my god, fuck no. Your letter actually helped me realize that I’m in love with you.” Donghyuck has no idea what’s going on, but doesn’t feel like holding back anymore.
“And I have been, for quite a while actually, um, yeah,” he sheepishly adds.
Donghyuck didn’t even realize it, but Mark was now standing directly in front of him, both of their hands slowly intertwining with each others. He’s scared to look up and face the other, but suddenly Mark tilts his chin up to his face. He stares at Marks face in shock. Mark looks like he’s about to cry while wearing the most stupidly adorable smile, staring at Donghyuck as if he’s the only person that exists in his world. He can’t help himself, and once again confesses, a bit more confidently this time. “I love you Mark.” Tears spring to Donghyucks eyes but he doesn’t try to suppress them this time.
“I love you too, Hyuck.”
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