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This was a terrible idea. A terrible and horrible and awkward idea. One that simply couldn’t end well and Celina was very well aware of that… subconsciously at least.
Yet here she was, at the stations Christmas party. With no other than Rachel.
There were so many people she could’ve asked to come with her. But of course, Celina did the one thing she just felt like what’s… right.
The point was that almost everyone brought someone; said someone being a partner in most cases. And Celina certainly didn’t want to be alone between all the lovebirds drunk on mulled wine and Christmas spirit. So she brought her friend, roommate’s best friend and superior’s ex… because that wasn’t strange and that definitely didn’t send any signals. Not at all.
No matter how insightful she normally was, when it came to love she was and always would be oblivious.
Because yes, said friend was way more than just a friend to her. She crushed on her. No, screw that, she loved her. Though she didn’t know if her feelings would ever be reciprocated.
And so they stood at the bar, hands wrapped around warm mugs of apple punch. Celina normally didn’t really drink alcohol as it disturbed her spiritual balance but around Christmas, she made exceptions now and then. The beverages were simply too delicious to ever be resisted and the warmth that spread in her body whenever she drank it made it worth the slight dizziness. She simply had to be careful not to drink to much.
“It really is a nice party… I don’t know why but I kind of expected cops to be a lot more boring.”, Rachel admitted upon taking a sip of her mug and Celina chuckled. “Boring? We are anything but boring. Do you know how many times I’ve almost been shot in the line of duty?”, Celina berated, her voice dripping sarcasm.
“Around 4 times. Though you make it sound like 200 on a daily basis.”, Rachel countered and Celina scoffed.
“Liar.”
She tried not to notice that Rachel moved closer while they were speaking. If she was honest, she made herself believe that she imagined it; saw things where they weren’t any just to keep up hope.
But it was hard not to when the person you love is so close and yet just out of reach.
Celina wanted to tell her; felt physically ill every time their fingers brushed and she couldn’t admit how much it set her heart on fire. On the other, she was scared- straight up terrified to lose her friend.
She didn’t doubt Rachel’s interest in women. Merely her interest in… her. Because Celina simply couldn’t tell…
“It’s fortune cookie time!”
The voice of Lucy, bubbly and all over the place yanked Celina out of her thoughts. “You guys want some?”
“Uh, yes please!”, Rachel uttered and carefully reached into the box Lucy held out to her as if she was deliberately choosing just the right one. As Lucy swung the cookies over to Celina, she too, after a moment of hesitation, took one.
“Very well then. I‘ll see you around!”, Lucy announced before merging into the crowd once again, leaving the two alone again.
“Do you believe in fortune cookies?”, Rachel asked her upon noticing that Celina was eyeing the cookie. She looked up to find Rachel now fully turned to her, her right elbow on the bar… God she looked so pretty.
“Uhm… I mean, kinda. Not the same certainty I believe in astrology with but… yeah.”, Celina shrugged, suddenly not able to keep her fingers still.
“Well then, let’s take opening them serious, shall we?”, she proposed and before Celina could argue, Rachel had already taken her hand and dragged her away into the hallway.
It was decorated too, though not as much as the main room. Just some fairy lights and fir branches wrapped in red felt dangled from door to door. The Christmas music was a lot quieter here.
Stopping in the doorway of an empty room, Rachel didn’t let go of Celina hands for just a second longer than necessary… or did she? Celina felt like she was going insane.
“You ready?”, she asked but Celina was hardly listening and so she just nodded and mechanically started breaking the cookie apart. Her heart was pounding rapidly.
Carefully, she tore the two halves apart, pulling out the tiny note hidden inside it. She suddenly didn’t really want to read it and so she just shoved half the cookie into her mouth. Why was she so goddamn nervous?
“Wait, you actually like the cookies?”, Rachel asked and Celina looked at her, mouth half full and nodded, humming something that was meant to say ‘You don’t?’ to which Rachel laughed. “I don’t know, they’re just way too sticky for me. I just like the messages.”, she explained, putting the cookie back into the wrapper, prompting Celina to look at her like she just admitted to a crime.
“How do you not like the cookies??”, she immediately jumped the moment she could speak again, almost chocking on a crumb the same sentence. “I don’t know, stop judging me!”, Rachel chuckled and Celina held out her hand. “I will… definitely not.”
“Oh my god, shut up and read the note.”, Rachel demanded with a chuckle and Celina gently shook her head, laughing.
Except for the muffled Christmas music from the other room, it grew silent again while they both were unfolding the tiny pieces of paper and-
Oh.
Oh hell no.
Celina read the note again. That couldn’t be real.
‘Now is the time to share a secret. Tell them.’
This could not be real. Yes, she believed in destiny and all but this was just a little too on point and-
“What does yours say?”, Rachel suddenly asked but upon looking up, she was completely fixed on her note and it took a second until she looked at her. Her smile suddenly seeming… a bit helpless.
“It says that… I should tell someone a secret.”, Celina muttered but quickly shoved it into her pocket. “What about you?”
“Well uh… nah, this is tomfoolery anyways.”, she chuckled awkwardly and too put the note away, not seeming like she was going to tell her. But Celina was not having that.
“Come on, Rachel! I read mine too, now it’s your turn!”, she argued but Rachel turned her down. “It’s just really unfitting and makes zero sense.” Though she sounded like she was trying to convince herself rather than Celina.
“Oh, don’t be such a kill joy!”
“No.”
“Please?”
“Not happening.”
“Just let me read it.”
“Can I kiss you?”
“I’m sure it’s not that big of a-”, Celina stopped. She made that up. Rachel didn’t say that. Did she?
“… What?”
Celina looked up at the taller woman, who reciprocated her gaze, eyes nervous, fingers clinging into the hem of her blazer- before suddenly turning away.
“No, I shouldn’t have said that, that was so awkward, I’m so-”
Celina acted on instinct. Didn’t even really think about it as she lunged forward, wrapped a hand around her neck, the other gently cupping her cheek to turn her towards her-
And she kissed her. Rushed, trying to appease her, trying to kiss all of her doubt away- before she stopped; pulled away just enough to look at the other woman.
Rachel looked… mesmerized, shocked and terribly confused at the same time as she stared into Celina‘s eyes, her lips slightly parted, breathing heavily.
“You- no way you feel the same…”, she whispered, barely audible but Celina smiled. “But I do. I’m in love with you. And you can’t imagine how glad I am that you said this just now.”, she admitted.
Rachel needed a second- more like three before she began to realize; and before a huge smile slowly appeared on her face.
Gently, she wrapped her arms around Celina’s waist and looked at her with so much love in her eyes, Celina might just simply melt away.
“Then let me ask you again…”, Rachel announced and smiled at her lovingly. “Can I kiss you?”
Celina’s smile only grew as her hands found the back of her neck.
“Please.”
Without another moment’s hesitation, Rachel pulled her close and kissed her. Savored her. Her lips were soft and warm and there was the faintest hint of mulled wine Celina was getting drunk of as Rachel gently pushed her backwards against the doorframe. If she could, she would just stay here forever.
It took a while before Rachel pulled away and chuckled, almost out of breath, licking her lips before whispering.
“I guess fortune cookies really don’t taste that bad…”