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Alex was not entirely sure how she would fix the current situation she found herself with her wife.
She wasn't even sure if there was something to actually fix.
Kelly was clearly just worried. Alex's recklessness having bruised over an old scar. One that, while faded away and old, still hurt from time to time.
The issue, was that the timing couldn't be any worse.
Right before their fourth wedding anniversary.
In hindsight, the idea she had in the field of throwing her motorbike at the giant robot terrorizing the business area, with herself still in it, wasn't particularly good.
The robot had caught her bike mid air, before she got particularly close to its body, and threw her, bike an all, to the building next to it.
As per Lena's evaluation, she was lucky the only serious injuries were a sprained ankle, a bruised collarbone and a concussion.
Kelly wasn't as appreciative of it, understandably. Even before considering the trauma of losing her previous partner in a traumatic event, they had a kid together, they had a life together, they were trying to adopt another child.
Justifiably, she was both cross with Alex, and caring for her a little more than usual.
But, her injuries meant that most, if not all, of their anniversary plans had to be cancelled. And it was supposed to be an entire weekend for themselves, too.
Alex hated being sick… or injured, it turns out. She felt like itching all over by her inaction. She couldn't even play with Esme… though, she wasn't really into climbing over Alex to play anymore. She was on the cusp of being 'too old for that, mom'.
She couldn't exercise, except for a few stretches, for her ankle, and there was only so much TV Alex could watch.
It had barely been four days, and Alex was very close to jumping out the window, just so Kara could catch her, and do something.
"Stop brooding," Kelly said, as she walked towards the kitchen with a cup of tea. "It's your own fault."
"I'm not… brooding," Alex weakly replied. She was, and they both knew it. "I was just very excited about the axe throwing."
"You didn't know about it until 20 minutes ago, when you heard me cancelling the reservation," Kelly laughed.
"I've wanted to go for months!" Alex threw her hands in the air.
"And that's why it was your gift," Kelly calmly replied. "Think better next time you have the urge to throw yourself over a seemingly indestructible robot."
"I promise I won't do it again," Alex said, again. "Will you stop being cross with me?"
Kelly sighed, "I'm not…cross. I'm worried, because I know you will do it again. It's just a matter of how injured you will be next time."
"It's my job," Alex weakly replied, forgetting all about the video game console that Brainy had hooked up to her TV. "Accidents happen."
"Accidents happen, that wasn't an accident," Kelly sharply pointed out. "That was you crashing into the enemy, with no other thought."
"My only thought was keeping everyone safe, including… especially my wife and my daughter."
"That excuse can only take you so far, Alex," Kelly whispered. The tea cup in front of her untouched, still with the cold beverage she was clearly going to replace. Instead put the cup in the dishwasher. "I don't want to talk about this right now, I have to go pick Esme from school."
"Baby…"
Kelly walked towards the doors, picking her jacket and her keys. "Try not to climb the walls, and keep your leg up."
As she left, Alex realized how fucked she was, because she had no idea how to fix it.
Kelly's crime fighting was limited to situations when it was all hands on deck. Or if involved areas that required her expertise. Most of the times, she was very happy keeping herself on comms.
"You know she's just worried about you, and about what it would mean to her," Kara commented, when picking up Esme for their weekend together, they were going to visit Eliza, while Alex and Kelly went out of town for their anniversary, and it was something they decided to do anyways. "She lost her fiancee exactly like that, before."
It's not like Alex needed the reminder. "What's my option, then?" She quietly asked. "I love my job, and I was like this when we met… She doesn't want me to change."
Kara cocked her head, as they both were standing at the balcony. Well, Alex was mostly fully resting all her weight on Kara.
"I think she doesn't want you to change for her," Kara replied. "She wants you to change for yourself, in every aspect of your life. We learn, and we grow. Our priorities change too."
"Are we still talking about my relationship?"
Kara laughed and shook her head.
"I worry too, you know?" She whispered. "You humans are so breakable, and you go to fight invulnerable robots with a gun."
"I can make a gun that hurts you too, I'll have you know…"
"Yeah… still can give you cancer," Kara commented. "It happened to Lex, constant exposure to Kryptonite," she said with a shrug. "What I mean is… Your priorities shifted when you left the D.E.O., that time. And it changed when you adopted Esme. You want another kid with your amazing wife, maybe they should change again. To give you both peace of mind."
"I'll never have peace of mind with you running to danger too," Alex smiled.
"Yeah, but you know, invulnerable blah blah blah," Kara mocked. "Besides, you are not getting any younger."
"You are an ass…" Alex said as she pushed her sister with her uninjured arm, trying not to lose her own balance.
They were supposed to go to Big Sur, have a hiking adventure, something they both enjoyed. Go back to their room in between sloppy kisses and wandering hands, and fall in bed in love.
Instead they were sitting in their own bed, with a chasm between them. Kelly reading a book, and pointedly ignoring Alex.
And Alex just wanted to hug her wife. Kiss her senseless, caress her until she couldn't hold her anymore, make love to her. Not only was impossible because of the still there pain in her arm and leg, but also the, rightful (if Alex had to begrudgingly agree) coldness, Kelly had decided to treat her that day.
"Would you like to go to Calvintown when I'm better," Alex asked. "I thought maybe we could visit James and your mom."
"Sure," Kelly replied without stopping from reading her book. Alex had lost count the times she had read the title in between her wife's fingers.
Oldish and battered, it wasn't the first time or the second for that matter, that Kelly read that book since they met. Alex realized quite fast that it was a comfort book. Whenever Kelly herself or Esme got sick, she would read it.
Alex still remembered when Kelly explained the behavior, even when it wasn't related to her, but to their daughter re-watching Nimona whenever she felt down.
"Sometimes, when we are feeling bad, it could be a bad mental health day or sickness, we seek the comfort of stuff we know," she'd said back then. "TV shows and movies we have seen, books that we have read, places we've been. It's familiar, leaves us with a sense of belonging."
Alex had lost count how many times Kelly had read the book at her hands, Wild Embers by Nikita Gill. Alex had the theory she read it so much because there wasn't a continuous story, and she could get lost in between the words for a moment in the recesses of her mind, while also giving her peace with every poem read.
"Which one are you reading?"Alex asked, when she noticed she'd been reading the same page for a while.
"An Ocean Called Healing," Kelly quietly replied.
Alex hummed, "How many times have you read it?"
"Not sure."
"Want to talk about it?" Alex asked, and when Kelly didn't reply besides a small sigh, Alex scooted closer to her wife. "I'm not sure how to apologize, baby. I'm just… always ready to sacrifice myself for those who I love; Kara, Esme, you… It's hard to break those impulses when there is danger."
"I don't think there is anything to do, Alex," Kelly said, as she closed her book, and laid on her side of the bed, looking at her. "I don't want you to change who you are, you were reckless like this when I met you, you still worked at the D.E.O. when I fell in love with you, and were in the same danger. It's just something that never gets easier to deal with," she sighed. "But also… sometimes you get into unnecessary danger, with no thought of what we would do without you. Have you thought about what would happen to Esme, or me, or Kara if something happened to you?"
Alex didn't say anything. She hadn't thought about it in any way that mattered. She hoped that they would take care of each other. They should be okay enough with money, with her insurance with the D.E.O., but other than that… Alex was floundering for an answer.
Kelly closed her eyes, as if trying to avoid looking at Alex. "Accidents happens, your work, our superhero lives are dangerous, but if something happened to you, because you were reckless and didn't think it through… I don't think I could forgive you for it. Or if that's an scar that would heal for me or our daughter."
By the time Kelly got up the next morning, the day of their anniversary, not only had Alex been chilling the traditional wine for them to open later for an hour already, she also had the breakfast ready, and Kelly's actual gift.
Kelly came in from their bedroom, half worried, and still half asleep, rubbing one of her eyes, stopping in the middle of the living room as Alex was plating the hash-browns and bacon.
"You should be resting," Kelly said.
"I was sitting pretty much the entire time," Alex rebutted. "I wanted to surprise you with breakfast at bed today… But I'm not entirely sure I could have done the walk from kitchen to bed," she smiled, and wobbled towards her wife.
"Sitting?"
Alex pointed to the bar stool conspicuously close to the stove, "Doesn't matter. I know this is not the anniversary day you were envisioning, and I'm very sorry I ruined it this year, by being reckless and stubborn." She took her wife's hands in hers and looked into her eyes. "I hear you, babe, you are right. I promise you, I will not do something like this again. I will take a step back from going into the field, for minor stuff. I will do my best to not jump into danger without a plan. Because I want to grow so old with you, and see our daughter grow up, and I want to love you when we are both gray and unable to remember what we had for breakfast the day before."
Kelly's hands landed on her cheeks, her eyes also fixed on Alex's, "I don't want you to change who you are because of me, Alex."
"No, no," Alex shook her head. "You are misunderstanding me, I don't want to change that part of my work because of you, but because of the future I want with you. I must admit that I got a little carried away with the superheroing, I spent so many years feeling less than my sister because she could do all these things," Alex smiled. "Being out there with her, even when obviously I can't do the same as her, it did make me feel like an equal to her and I love spending time with Kara. But I don't need that to feel worthy. I have you, I have Esme, and you are my priority. Kara is my sister outside the field, we can have many sister nights, game nights, too. I don't need an excuse to spend time with her."
"Sounds like a very mature decision," Kelly whispered, as her arms snake around Alex's neck.
"I'm very mature and wise," Alex smiled, tasting the forgiveness in their banter. "Breakfast?" She asked, before Kelly could even laugh from the phrasing.
"You can be wise, sometimes," Kelly replied, after pecking Alex's lips. "But at the moment, I'm still a bit cross with you. And at the moment, you haven't prove to be… beyond promises."
Alex sighed, them nodded. "That's fair, my love. But I will prove myself to you. In the meantime, we can spend the rest of our anniversary cuddling. And I promise to not give you anymore headaches today, at the very least."
Kelly's smile felt like hope, and then she presented a pinky finger to swear on, as if they were children. Alex felt lighter, as she laughed.
"Now I know is serious, then," Kelly said, when Alex interlocked their pinkies together.
"Can we have breakfast? I'm starving, and I want to sit down."
"Yes, you should elevate that leg," Kelly conceded with a smile that promised that they would be okay at the end.
Kelly graciously lied about breakfast being delicious, Alex conceded in it being acceptable, and 100% edible, which was a win coming from two people who are terrible cooks.
Then her wife made Alex go back to bed, and raise her leg. Grumbled, now with a hint of fondness, about how stubborn and bad patient she was, as she went to look for some ice-packs to basically wrap her in.
"I'm guessing then the flowers are not apology enough?" Alex asked, the Teddy bear carrying flowers still sitting proudly at the kitchen island.
Her heart settled, and fluttered at the same time, hearing Kelly's laugher, like a confirmation that everything would be okay. Every couple has disagreements, the important part is talking about it.
"You need to do some more groveling, I'm afraid," Kelly replied. "Make it up to me."
"I will, as soon as I can freely move again," Alex retorted with a smile.
"Not what I… whatever," Kelly blushed a pretty color that Alex will tease her for in the future.
Because she knew her wife was anything but shy. For now she was content with basking in her care, and the light banter. She preferred that an infinite percent more than the silence, and worried side looks.
"You are not in pain, then?"
Alex shook her head, "I'm fine. But I'll let you fuss over me today, I know you've been trying not to, because you were cross with me."
"I was… But I still worry," Kelly mumbled, taking her hand in hers.
"Again, I'm sorry," Alex apologized again, kissing her wife's hand. "Now, do you want to see your actual gift?"
They did exchange gifts, Kelly got her a new watch and a coffee subscription.
Besides the Teddy bear and the flowers, Alex got Kelly a photo album, with pictures from their last year, along with a gold bracelet, and a journal.
"We are still going to the ax throwing at some point too, right?" Alex asked, hours later, as they sat in the giant bean bag chair, curled into one another. Her shoulder, wrapped in the ice pack, listening to music.
Kelly lightly laughed, into Alex's neck, a light kiss right there.
"As long as I get that weekend getaway too," she replied.
"That's a given, Mrs. Danvers-Olsen."
"Then we have a deal, Mrs. Danvers-Olsen."
Alex let the song they'd been listening end.
She kissed Kelly's forehead, "I love you," she whispered into her hair. "I know we had to change plans last minute, but I love being like this with you. I hope to spend many days, for the rest of our lives exactly like this, one around the other."
"With less injuries…"
"With less injuries," Alex laughed.
Kelly touched her cheek, and kissed her lips. Soft, deep. Like a promise. "Ditto."
Alex chuckled, remembering how their relationship had started with that very same word.
