Chapter Text
After a long and... eventful, day of work, Guy was glad to go home and get some much deserved rest. Who knew that giving that destitute jackass a life altering head injury could be so beneficial to his business? After filing away the rest of his paperwork, Guy stepped out to speak to his receptionist one last time before heading home.
"Oh! What a day" he exclaimed smugly, adjusting his tie.
"I know!" replied Penny, still scrawling down writing on the work in front of her, "I have so much work left I'm skipping workaholics anonymous to finish it all."
Guy leaned on Penny's desk, filled with satisfaction with himself. He never expected himself to actually get along with someone like Suction Cup Man. Well, that is if you could still he was the same person. The prospect was a bit worrisome to him. What if once he finally got used to this "Craig Raisins", he picked some plunger in the janitor's closet and the old Suction Cup Man came back in full force? This time he would be inside Guy's ever so dear office building. What would he do then?
Just that moment, Suction Cup Man--- or rather Craig, began to walk past carrying a huge stack of papers. Guy looked up at him and asked,
"Ah, Craig! You have a place to sleep tonight?"
He didn't know why he asked. He knew Craig had no memory of where he lived, and Guy surely didn't know the address of his dingy shack to point him in the direction. But he couldn't just let the guy who automated his mailing system and got him a full monopoly over Finland's toilet paper industry in just one day sleep out on the street. What if he got hit by a car or something and Guy lost a sales manager? That would suck. That and the whole, person dying on his watch thing.
"Sleep? Heh. When there's so much work to do?"
Guy thought about this answer for a second. While he appreciated Craig's gung-ho attitude, he was also not comforted by the idea of Suction Cup Man being inside of his office while he wasn't there. Even if he wasn't really an issue anymore. God only knows what could happen. Besides, leaving a man with a brain injury alone at all probably was not the best course of action. Considering this, Guy decided to double down and do something he never thought he would. Guy placed his arm around his friend's shoulder and made his proposal.
"Craig, you've done so much for me today. You started off today as a bum hanging off the side of a building who I defiantly did not know in any way, and look at you now. You know what you've got?"
"Uh, a tie?"
"Yes. A tie, but also a respectable job as a manager and 4 million dollars as good as yours. You have done more for yourself, me, and this company in one day than most people do in a lifetime!"
"What's your point?"
"My point is that you deserve a break. I'll tell you what, you can come stay with me for a few nights until you get yourself a place to stay. How does that sound?"
"Really? I don't know what to say---"
"Than don't say anything. Just leave these papers in your office and meet me outside."
"Can do, boss!"
Guy stood just outside the front entrance waiting for Craig to finish up inside. He thought for a second if bringing this guy into his house would be a good idea before brushing that thought aside, realizing that he had already made his decision and he was going to stick to it. When Craig came outside, Guy led him greeted him and began leading him to his car, but before they could go more than five steps, Craig appeared distracted by something.
"Hey, Mr Business?"
"Yes?"
"What is that thing?"
Craig pointed to something that made Guy's heart drop, it was one of the suction cups that had fallen off the glass above sometime in the middle of the day. Guy urged Craig to keep moving, not wanting him to have any interaction with his past for fear of it igniting something in him.
"It's nothing! Probably just some big dumb red rock or a... stubby fire hydrant... Just keep walking."
The two arrived at Guy's freshly cleaned black car and got inside. Craig, probably never have seen a car this nice before (and if he did would not have known about it), looked around the tan toned front seat in awe. Guy noticed this infatuation while turning the ignition key and smiled smugly, proud of this vehicle as he was all his possessions.
"It's a real beauty, isn't it?
"I'll say! Hey, what does this do?"
Craig's hand instantly went to the stick shift before Guy grabbed it and yelled,
"DONT--- TOuch that. Actually, don't touch anything."
"Nothing?"
"Nothing. God. Your going to get us killed."
Guy put the car into reverse and began to drive them out of the parking lot. The following ten minutes were... uncomfortable to say the least. Guy finally broke the silence with a sigh.
"Look I'm sorry. It's just, ughh, well I've had a bad experience with you and cars." His mind flashed to the first time when he genuinely thought he killed this man, on the highway. Then he thought of when SCM got him to fall directly onto a police car. In fact, there was kind of a pattern at this point. "I don't want either of us to end up in the hospital, or dead, again..."
Instead of addressing the far more worrying implications of that explanation, Craig was drawn to one detail Guy forgot to consider.
"...You knew me?"
shit.
"No! no. Well, not really."
Craig stared at him, a sound of hurt crept into his voice.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"No! I--- I misspoke. You were just an acquaintance... I didn't even know your name."
"Uh-huh..."
Now he was just straight up lying. He hoped Craig would just accept the explanation for now and he could come up with a better lie later.
"I really am sorry, Craig."
"...For yelling?"
"...Yeah. Hey, do you you want me to turn on the radio? What kind of music do you like?"
"I don't know."
"...Right."
Guy turned on the radio and switched the frequency to some random station playing jazz. He quickly glanced over to Craig again who was awkwardly and restlessly shifting in his seat. He thought for a moment that he had never seen him have no activity to focus on for so long, even today he was constantly busying himself. He sighed again.
"If you open the glove compartment, the cupboard thingy right in front of you--- you can mess with whatever is in there."
He wasn't worried about Craig finding anything important since Guy never kept much of anything valuable in his car, lest he encourage thieves. Guy could hear the sound of Craig rummaging through the compartment and suddenly stop as he presumably found something interesting before snapping the door shut. Guy continued focusing on the road ahead before hearing a distinctive pop! that made his hands tense on the steering wheel and his foot slam onto the break. Luckily, no one was behind them.
He looked at his right to see Craig messing with one of those small netted bags with miniature suction cups intended to hold small items to a window. Guy quickly snagged the bag from his hand and shoved it in his pocket. He took a deep breath before turning back to the road and driving at a slower pace.
"Hey, what's the deal?"
"Nothing! Nothing. We're almost there."
When Guy parked, it was outside a very large house with all the trimmings in the middle of a rich neighborhood. When Craig got out of the car he stood with his mouth agape at the thing.
"Wow! This things a whole mansion!"
"What? No, it's really quite modest," Guy explained coming up behind him.
"Your family must love this! The yard is huge!"
"Oh, well, I don't have a family, and I don't really use the yard due to my lack of... friends... C'mon now I'll show you the inside."
"Ho boy!"
Guy lead Craig to the entrance and when let inside, he immediately looked up and saw how high the ceiling reached. Duel staircases sat on either side and framed the whole room. Guy, looking pleased with himself, placed his hand on Craig's shoulder.
"Impressed?" he asked.
"Very!"
"Great! Let me show you to your room, than."