Work Text:
“Fuck me!” Adam groaned as he all but collapsed onto his Goliath of a couch. One perk of being the first man not many realized was that he also had first dibs on literally everything the second it was invented by the cunts back on earth. A deal he may or may not have made with Emily a while after arriving. It’s not his fault the chick was all but drooling over his kid. It would’ve been a sin to not introduce the two before leaving for ‘work’ only moments later.
“I plan on it sir” Lute chuckled. Damn her laugh was cute. While taking off her shoes and joining him on the opposite end of the couch.
“Of course you’d plan sex, ya fuckin robot”. His words were harsh but the tone was about as playful as the cherubs the two spent the previous night pummeling with clouds. Adam laughs at the memory before noticing her distance.
“The fuck you doin over there?” Adam remarks.
“Oh, I was just-“ Lute’s blush fueled rant was cut short by Adam’s wings unfurling, golden and vast, and curling around her. Cutting her off as she was now pressed between his wing and chest.
Her favorite place to be.
They sit like this for a while in comfortable silence. Cuddling was new for the friends with benefits but Lute supposed it wasn’t that odd.
Although she didn’t ever bring it up. Adam could tell he was her first everything. He wasn’t quite sure how many things there were but he knew it was a decent amount.
She had definitely never had sex before him, that much was obvious. If he had to guess she was waiting for someone good, someone she could trust. It was for that reason their first time together was all about her.
On Lute’s end, she did indeed lose her virginity to Adam (which he knew), but he was also her first kiss (which he suspected), and her first, and only, crush (which he did not at all think and she’d like to keep it that way).
So all that landed them here, on his couch, with her looking up at his phone as it practically explodes with the flood of notifications he gets on a daily basis.
He goes to the first text chain and lo and behold, it’s the exorcist group chat.
As he scrolls, he notices several texting about where to meet up after a trip to the beach. Accompanied by photos of them in coverups during back, then earlier photos of them in bikinis at the beach, then most damning of all photos of them changing. Each tagging him specifically.
Desperately trying to change the subject he, in a fit of pure arousal and panic, hurls his phone across the room. What was ment to be a hurl resembles more of a light toss but what does he care, he’s got an angry Lute to deal with. Or what should be an angry Lute.
Instead she just looks up at him confused. Not sad and confused, just perplexed.
“Why did you drop your phone?”
Okay, he could work with this.
“Drop?! Bitch it was clearly a hurl.”
He was so good at this.
“Okay, why did you hurl your phone?”
Oh god damn it.
“Uhhhhh”
Perfect response, no notes.
“Was it because of what the exorcists were posting”
Damn she was quick. Kinda hot. No. Not now Adam. Focus.
“Look Lute it doesn’t really mean anything, these girls they do this all the time and like, it’s not like I care”
“Oh okay, cool.”
That he was not expecting.
“Cool?!”
“Yeah, I just didn’t want them to make you uncomfortable”
Christ, this bitch was gonna be the double death of him.
“Wait you think those images made me uncomfortable?”
“You clarified they didn’t already but yes. Now what did they make you feel?”
Well he just dug himself deeper into this hole. Stop thinking about holes damnit.
“Fuckin, I don’t know, horny. Lute are you fuckin with me or do you just not know?”
“Well I didn’t, and okay they made you horny, I know you can get horny, but just answer the question.”
Only now had he realized she had gone from cuddling up to his side to lying on his chest to straddling.
“What do you not get Lute? I didn’t want the girl I want to fuck other girls who want to fuck me. The last thing I need is you getting all jealous. Yes it can be hot but not right now. And also who fucking cares. It’s not like you haven’t liked anyone before me. Just because my dating history is like the first one ever doesn’t mean it’s any worse than yours. Wait fuck not like that. Like okay fuck. Lute. Will you say somethin?! Ugh!”
Lute paused, examining his words, then reached a hand up to hold his face. Resting the other and her head on his chest as she lay on top of him.
“I don’t really give a shit about the exorcists. As for-“
“Why the fuck not?!”
“Do you want me to?”
“Well no, yes, maybe, I don’t know Lute gimme a minute”
“You can have your minute while I finish talking, sound fair?”
“I guess” was Adam’s grumbled response.
This earned him a kiss on the cheek.
“Good. Now, as for your ex-lovers, you know I don’t care about those fucking cunts. They can use the devil’s dick as a toothpick while attempting a blow job for all I care.”
This got a smirk out of the otherwise stern looking Adam.
“The whole sex thing is new to me, you know that much. But so is the kissing thing, and the cuddling thing, and the” she swallows “liking someone thing”
Now it’s Adam’s turn to be confused.
“You don’t like anyone else?”
“Never have”
It came out easier than she thought it would.
“So it’s just me and?”
“Your reflection”
Adam picked her up so she was now laying like a starfish across his body. Their faces inches apart. Just staring.
Lute is the one to break the silence.
“So yeah. I don’t really know how this whole attraction thing works. But I do have a pretty good idea about how you do so there’s that.”
“Lute, babe, you’re gonna hate my guts for saying this, but I feel like shit right now”
“Did I do so-“
“You did everything right, it’s just. Fuck Lute you’re pretty.”
“I’m sorry?” She adds playfully.
That gets both of them to giggle like fucking schoolgirls.
“So, you figure out whether or not you want me to be mad”
“Cmon Lute you know I love yo- your smile”
“Happy it is then, besides it’s not like we’re dating.”
It was true. But god did it make him feel even fucking worse. Fuck her. Seriously. And not in the fun way. Who does she think she is? Admitting that he is literally the only one for her then going right back to coworker mode. He ain’t having it.
“Why not?”
She stopped breathing.
“Uhhhhh”
“Think about it. We’re both hot and hot for each other. Yeah I’m your boss but I’m also fucking Adam, and you’re the best of my girls, the fuck is Sera gonna do to us? Plus I already get ya piranha plants and shit, now I’ll just add a heart on the box and boom, gift for my girlfriend. Oh and you could stay ove-“
Adam’s fantasies were abruptly ended by Lute’s lips crashing into his own.
“I’d like that”
“You fucking better”
Adam’s phone then started buzzing.
“I WILL SNAP THAT THING IN HALF”
“Pardon my bluntness but my lord you are hot”
That snapped him out of his fury
“Okay. I’m gonna tell my favorite bit of semen to fuck off, then I’ll fuck you into my headboard, fair enough?”
“That sound doable”
Lute says as her face turns so gold she’s practically metallic.
“You sound doable”
And with that Lute bolts into the bedroom as Adam picks up the phone.
“Hi dad, so the platonic business work dinner thing with Em is going well and, oh this is funny-“
“Abel, you’re an adult, imma give it to you straight. My girlfriend is currently naked in my bedroom. I love you but if you don’t wrap this shit up in ten fucking seconds I will send Emily a vibrator in your name.”
“Oh SHIT okay. Uhhh. I just wanted to know where my old Shepard stuff was. Em wanted to know about life on earth so I wanted to show her mine”
“Alright give me a second”
Meanwhile Lute was all but going into epileptic shock over the fact that Adam, the Adam, her Adam just referred to her as his girlfriend.
“Okay I sent you the location, don’t bother me for the next five to eight hours, I got someone to do”
It would last five hours!? She should’ve asked to be his girlfriend on her first day. Unbeknownst to her, he probably would’ve agreed.
“Thank you sooooo much dad, I hope you have fun with your girlfriend, wait GIRLFRIEND?! When did you get a girlfriend?! Can I meet here?! Is it mom?! Is it pre-mom?! Dad?!”
In all honesty, Lute didn’t really want Abel to know. She could deal with adopting a grown man, some-fucking-how it didn’t seem so difficult with Adam by her side. But did he have to tell him right now?
Thankfully, they were always on the same page.
“Chill out Abel, fine I’ll tell you it’s-”
“It’s?”
“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!”
And with that he hung up.
Lute than ran up to him, actually hurled the phone, and fucking pounced on him. Sticking to him like Velcro.
“Hey Lute?”
“Yeah”
“You wouldn’t mind if I fucked my girlfriend would you?”
She locked eyes with him and smirked.
“Only as long as I get to fuck my boyfriend”
He feigned thinking which got her to giggle.
“That sounds doable”
She grabbed the back of his neck and pulled his head forward so her lips were right next to his ear. Causing him to moan.
“You sound doable”
And with that, they busied themselves with each other for the next five to eight hours.