Chapter Text
The first day of their three-month hiatus was like a breath of fresh air. Three months of doing nothing at all.
The girls could do whatever they wanted without the worry of the media, thanks to Bobby.
After a trip to the bathhouse, the girls arrived back at their penthouse and collapsed on the couch with a soft thud, Rumi sandwiched between Mira and Zoey.
Mira's half paying attention to a k-drama they put on as background noise, and Zoey's watching whatever pops up while doomscrolling.
These are the days Rumi cherishes the most. The warm feeling of Mira and Zoey beside her as they rest, free of any responsibilities.
This also serves as a reminder for her, what she owes them. She never told them about her interaction with Celine, or why she doesn't allow herself to want.
It drives her girls insane. They believe that Rumi deserves the world, and more, but she just won't let them do anything for her.
Stubborn.
Zoey lets out a soft giggle and gently nudges Rumi's shoulder, showing her a silly video on her phone. Mira peeks over Rumi's shoulder and chuckles softly before looking away and watching whatever's going on in the show.
Rumi smiles, because how could she not when Zoey had that look on her face? Big smile, dimples, eyes crinkling at the corners.
So pretty.
Rumi's feelings have shifted recently. She's always had a soft spot for Mira and Zoey, but it's gotten bigger.
Her beautiful, loving bandmates. They always notice anything and everything that's wrong, and they're so affectionate.
Zoey with her loud affection, Mira with her quiet but attentive warmth.
She never understood love, because she grew up thinking that she had to be good to earn it. She never knew it could be unconditional.
Rumi doesn't believe she deserves the love she yearns for and craves so deeply. She's part demon after all.
"You're a demon, Rumi. Nobody will ever stay for a demon. That's how it always has been and always will be."
The words echo through her mind, disturbing the peace within her and reminding her of that night.
When they held their weapons up in defense, as if she would ever even think of hurting them.
Before she can stop it, she tenses up.
Mira shifts on the left of her, worry etched into her features.
"Rumi? You okay?”
Rumi stays frozen for a few moments, the words not registering in her mind. Mira notices the way she curls into herself, albeit barely, but still noticeable.
After a moment, really just a few seconds but seemingly an eternity, Rumi nods, forcing her shoulders down. Zoey looks up at her questioningly.
"M'fine.”
Mira doesn't buy it, she can hear the change in tone, but she doesn't push. She just moves closer as if saying, “I'm here if you want to talk."
(She's always been better with actions than words.)
Zoey stops for a second, just watching Rumi with worry present in her eyes before she lays back down, her head on Rumi's lap.
Rumi's heart beats a little faster, her patterns flickering a soft pink at the action. Zoey doesn't seem to notice, but Mira tries to hide a small smile beside her.
Mira pretends not to notice the way Rumi lights up around them, how she smiles a little wider when they enter a room.
Rumi doesn't know that Mira can tell she reciprocates their feelings. She doesn't even know that Mira and Zoey love her.
She notices little things, but she always shrugs it off as them “being friendly."
She's always been good at pushing it down and praying. Praying that nobody notices. Praying that maybe, someday, her girls might just love her too.
As the time passes, the girls stay close together on the couch as they scroll aimlessly on their phones.
Zoey, absorbed in whatever documentary she decided to focus on this month, starts to drift off, the warmth and close proximity to the girls causing her to be a little drowsy.
Mira notices, of course, and nudges her, shifting and causing Rumi to look up from whatever video she's watching.
"Tired?” Mira asks, with a slight teasing yet soft tone.
Zoey just rolls her eyes playfully and glares up at Mira, but her expression changes when she spots the fondness in Rumi's gaze from the corner of her eyes.
Rumi's eyes crinkle as she smiles down at Zoey.
"Come on. It's getting late anyways.”
She's not wrong. They've spent- how many hours?- scrolling on their phones and enjoying each other's company, not noticing the shift from late afternoon to late night.
Rumi slowly sits up, gentle as she helps Zoey up as well.
She can never be too careful when it comes to caring for her girls.
Mira peels herself away from Rumi's side and stretches out onto the other half of their couch with a yawn.
"Let's get you to bed,” Rumi mutters, helping Zoey up. “How are you so tired? We barely did anything today."
Zoey shrugs. “I don't know. It was nice though. I like doing nothing."
"Yeah. It's different.”
"Our little workaholic doesn't like the change of pace?” Zoey retorts playfully.
Our? Rumi glances down at the younger girl, befuddled but pleasantly surprised, before rolling her eyes.
"I'm not that much of a workaholic.” she mutters, leading Zoey to her bedroom.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, sweetheart.”
"What?”
"Huh?” Zoey giggles.
"What's that supposed to mean?” And why the pet names, she wants to ask.
She shrugs. "You overwork yourself. Definitely a workaholic. You need to relax a little more.”
"Okay, goodnight.”
Rumi leaves as soon as Zoey enters her bedroom. She's not that much of a workaholic, is she?
Is it that noticeable? Or do they know her better than she thinks they do?
"Mira!” Rumi half-whisper half-shouts down the hallway to the living room.
Mira groggily sits up, leaning against the armrest and letting out a quiet mutter, Rumi can't hear her.
"Come on, Mir,” Rumi reaches the living room once again and sits back down onto the couch.
“Do you really want to sleep on the couch? In those clothes?"
“Wha’s that supposed to mean?” Mira mutters, slightly offended. "What's wrong w'my clothes?"
“You're in jeans. Come on. At least sleep in your bed."
“Yeah, yeah."
Mira stands up and slowly walks to her bedroom, saying a quick goodnight to Rumi.
“Night, Mira."
Rumi's voice is soft, like it always is around them. Once Mira's gone, Rumi's a little dimmer. Quieter. She turns around and heads back to her room.
Her room is minimalistic. Plain walls, plain floor, small shelf with little trinkets and plushes from Zoey, or on rare occasions, Mira.
Her bed is comfortable enough. Multiple pillows, her stuffed bear; something she would never admit she still has, and a thick comforter with an extra soft blanket because she runs cold.
Because she's part demon.
There's a lot that comes from being half-demon, besides the shame. Rumi's always cold, there's the patterns, sometimes claws, and the cat-like traits.
Like purring. She purrs, and she can't stand it.
But Zoey and Mira love it. Maybe she can learn to love this part of her. One day.
She quietly walks over to her closet and picks out her old favourite pajamas. The "teddy bear and choo-choo train” pants and grey hoodie.
Because Mira spotted them in the trash after her first meetup with Jinu, and she insisted that she keep them.
They're her favourites, after all.
After taking her hair out of the braid and brushing her teeth, Rumi climbs into bed and under the thick blanket, grabbing her stuffed bear and curling into a ball.
Sleep never came easy for her.
She always tossed and turned, the silence and cold not sitting right within her.
She can feel it. She could always feel it. She always assumed it was because of who, or what she was.
⋆˚꩜｡
Mira always liked being alone.
She never really liked people, and they never really liked her, either. Too blunt, they would call her. Rude. Weird.
They wouldn't bully her. Partially because they were scared of her. Who wouldn't be scared of a girl with multiple detentions and suspensions?
All she ever wanted was someone to like her like she liked them. All she ever wanted was a real friend.
She couldn't even get love from her own family. She was taught that love was conditional.
And she was taught that she would never deserve it.
But then Rumi and Zoey came along.
The two people she would always run to without hesitation. The two people she would always choose to know in every lifetime.
Her girls.
Rumi and Zoey.
Her sweet, beautiful, caring girls who gave affection differently but managed to make it impact her the same.
She yearns for them. More than she should.
And she's scared. So scared. Scared she'll lose them. Scared she'll ruin the only good thing that's ever come out of her life.
She drifts off into a light slumber, clutching onto this stupid (or so she calls it) pink axolotl plush Zoey got her after one of their first shows.
It smells faintly like Zoey. Sweet and warm, with a hint of something clean. She'll never admit that she needs it to sleep.
Mira doesn't really dream. She never has, really. Just sees the vast darkness as her eyes close and time passes.
She occasionally shifts in her sleep, changing positions ever so often.
She's cold. Colder than usual, even in her sleep.
She followed her routine like usual, except without the physical drain of dance practice or rehearsals.
But it's like something is missing. Maybe it's because she didn't work today? Did she forget something?
Even while she sleeps, her brain is constantly buzzing with thoughts.
⋆˚꩜｡
Zoey opens her eyes in the morning, the feeling of warmth on her face as the sunlight drifts through her window.
Her room is the most cluttered, though still clean.
Multiple blankets and plushes on her bed, little trinkets covering her shelves, tens of posters on her walls.
And a big window overlooking the city. It's her favourite part about her bedroom.
She enjoys the warmth from the sun, and she just likes watching everything from above.
Zoey's always been observant. It's how she learned to deal with things.
Too much, people called her. So she learned to hide away her true self and focus on how others behaved.
But she's never had to hide her true self from Mira or Rumi. It's one of the many, many reasons she likes being around them.
Or why she likes them in general.
The thought surprises her, and Zoey sits up before she can let her thoughts drift any further.
Stretching slowly and standing up, she can hear someone in the kitchen. Probably Mira, she usually always cooks for them.
Zoey pauses to look out the window before she leaves her room, enjoying the slow morning. Usually it's wake up, get ready, and leave.
Always fast paced, just like her. She never stops to enjoy the little things. She wants to change that.
She pats her turtle plush's head, the one Mira got her for her birthday a few years ago, and exits her room.
Padding down the hallway, she notices Rumi's still asleep.
Weird, she's usually up early.
Zoey shrugs it off and makes her way to the kitchen, plopping down on a stool at their island.
“Morning, Zo." Mira says, not turning around from where she is at the stove.
“Good morning Mir. What're you making?"
“Hotteok. It's almost ready. Is Rumi still asleep?"
“I think she's still snoozing. I've never known her to sleep this much?"
Mira snorts. “I know, it's weird. And snoozing? What?"
Zoey just rolls her eyes. “Yes, snoozing. Have you never heard people say that before?"
“No?"
“Whatever. You said it's almost ready? Want me to go wake her up?"
“Just let her sleep. She needs the rest, after all. I've always wondered how she survived on so little sleep."
Zoey nods and grins. “I know, right? But then again she's never usually the most… energetic?”
"Yeah. Here, the food's done. Be careful, though. It's hot." Mira plates the hotteok and carefully passes it to Zoey, who ignores the warning and immediately takes a big bite, eyes watering and mouth open.
After managing to swallow the bite, she stares at Mira like she personally made the food hot enough to burn her tongue and fry her taste buds.
Mira turns around and notices her staring.
"What? I told you it was hot, Zo.” She says, straightforward.
"You said hot, not boiling! What the heck?”
"Same thing. You want some water?”
"It's not- yes?” Zoey glares down at her plate like it personally attacked her while Mira pours her a glass of water.
"Here,” Mira sets down the glass on the table and goes to get herself a plate, putting the rest of the food in the fridge for Rumi.
"I'm going to go check on Rumi, don't die.” Mira says with a teasing lilt to her tone. She walks past Zoey, gently tapping her back when she passes her.
Padding down the hallway, she stops at Rumi's door. Knocking softly, she calls out.
"Rumi? Are you awake? Can I come in?”
She can hear a mumble before she responds with, "Mira- Yeah?"
Mira opens the door and spots Rumi, still in bed and barely half awake, staring at her.
"I made breakfast, hotteok, if you want some. You might want to hurry before Zoey eats them all.” Mira says with a chuckle, standing in the doorway with her arms crossed.
Rumi nods groggily. "Alright. I'll be out in a minute.” Her voice is quiet, hoarse from sleep.
Mira notices the bags under her eyes, darker than usual. She also notices how Rumi is acting differently. She shrugs it off and nods, leaving her room and shutting the door behind her.
She gets back to the kitchen and sits down beside Zoey, startling her. She's always been quiet, the complete opposite from Zoey. Still, they complement each other perfectly, like yin and yang.
Zoey's already eaten most of her food, half paying attention to what's left on her plate as she watches a turtle compilation on her phone. She nudges Mira and tilts her phone so they both can watch.
Mira takes a bite of food while Zoey giggles at one of the clips and scoots her chair closer. Mira loves slower moments like these, where they can just sit there and enjoy their morning.
A while later, which might have just been a few minutes, Mira looks up because she hears footsteps approaching them.
Zoey turns around and smiles. “Good morning Rumi!” She pats the empty stool to the left of her and Rumi nods.
“I put the food in the fridge, it should be fine if you heat it up for a minute or so,” Mira says, and Rumi walks past them to get a serving.
“Thank you, Mir," Rumi grabs a plate and sets it in the microwave for a minute, sitting down on the empty stool beside Zoey.
Zoey props her phone up on her glass, gesturing for Rumi to scoot closer so they can all evenly see, and because she wants to eat her food.
Rumi does end up scooting closer, but shields her hotteok from Zoey.
"Nuh uh. This is my food, you had yours, Zo. There's more in the fridge.” Rumi says as Zoey whines and the corner of Mira's mouth quirks up.
The three sit close together for a while, eating and watching whatever videos pop up on Zoey's phone, Zoey occasionally mentioning a turtle fact or two. A nice change of pace from their usual busy routine.
Mira's so glad they get three months of this. Three months of being together and doing next to nothing. She wouldn't have it any other way.
"So,” Zoey speaks up, bringing Mira out of her thoughts. "What are we doing today?”
"I might go to the store later. Other than that, nothing.”
"I can go with you,” Rumi suggests. "Maybe we could get lunch after?"
“Ooh, yes! We could try that new restaurant down the street. I think they're called Hangong-Gan?" Zoey smiles.
"When do you want to leave?”
"Maybe less than an hour?” Mira proposes, and Rumi nods, standing up.
Rumi takes their dishes and carefully balances them in one hand, bringing them to the sink and promising to wash them later unless one of them wants to before.
"I'm going to get ready. Thank you for cooking, Mir. It was really good.” Rumi says softly before disappearing down the hall and into her room.
The two girls watch her leave with a smile before Zoey abruptly turns off her phone and turns to look at Mira.
"Did she seem- off- to you? Like.. different?” Zoey speaks up after a moment.
She was quieter, very different from yesterday. It had only been a few hours, so this threw her off.
Mira hesitates and nods slowly. "I thought I was imagining it. What could have changed? She was fine yesterday?"
“I don't know. Maybe she's just getting used to the new routine? Or had a nightmare?"
“Maybe. We should ask her about it later.”
Zoey nods, her mind telling her nothing's wrong and she's overreacting again. She tries to shake the feeling off, even if the voice in the back of her mind is nagging her.
"I'll go get ready.” Zoey stands up and walks away, leaving Mira with her own thoughts.
⋆˚꩜｡
Rumi arrives back in her room shortly after she leaves. She's not unaware of the looks exchanged from Mira and Zoey when she arrived and left.
She doesn't think she was noticeably acting that different, but she was also pretty out of it. She tried to seem underwhelmed and present, but her mind felt like it was underwater.
She doesn't really know what's changed, just that something in her feels… uneasy? Like something small inside her shifted but had a big impact.
She doesn't like it, and from what she heard when she was leaving, the girls don't seem to like the change in her either.
Rumi always wondered how, even if she hadn't even noticed a change, they immediately knew. Maybe the honmoon pulled them closer than she believed.
(She never thought anyone could ever notice or love her until they came along.)
Rumi pulls the door shut behind her and just stands there for a minute, blankly staring at the wall and trying to pinpoint what changed?
Maybe it's just her body getting used to the new honmoon, and the acceptance that came along with it.
She then moves to her closet, walking in and choosing a long-sleeved shirt and jeans. Taking them and exiting the room, she shuts herself in the bathroom to change.
She stops to stare at her patterns in the wide mirror for a moment. Rumi's still getting used to being able to show her patterns in contrast to Celine compelling her to cover them up.
She's so, so glad that the girls accepted her. Part of her still refuses to believe they have, so there's always this nagging doubt in the back of her mind that nobody will ever accept her, and that she just needs to cover up.
But that's just because of how Celine raised her to think.
(A dog will always come crawling back to its owner, no matter what they do, because it lacks the understanding of apathy in humans.)
Rumi finishes getting ready and lays on her bed for a while, just wondering. Wondering how she got so lucky. Wondering how she's even here.
Suddenly, there's a knock on the door and a voice.
It's Mira. Her voice has always had a soothing lilt to it.
“Rumi? We're ready when you are."
"I'll be right out.”
"Okay.”
She lays on her bed and realizes she never heard footsteps walking away. Mira's waiting for her. She's always been patient.
Rumi stands up and opens the door to see Mira standing right by the doorframe in a black sleeveless top and jeans, gold framed glasses sitting on her nose.
"Hello again.”
"Hey, Mir. Where's Zoey?"
“She's waiting in the living room."
Rumi nods, and they both walk down the hallway and into the main area of the penthouse. Zoey jumps up and is already halfway out of the door when she spots them.
"How does she have so much energy?” Rumi asks with a chuckle.
Mira just shrugs with a smile and follows behind her.
They arrive at the store after a short walk, Zoey skipping ahead with Mira and Rumi trailing close behind and talking amongst themselves about whatever comes to mind.
"Okay, but we need to get that new flavour of ramyeon I've seen online!" Zoey says without an argument. Rumi nods along.
“We're out of almost everything, so we need basic things like water. Mira, I know there's a few things you want to get so you can cook more often."
Mira nods so Rumi knows she's listening, and they walk into the store. Zoey grabs a basket and they start walking through the aisles.
“Mir, can we get this?" Zoey points at a bag of chips shaped like cats.
“Zoey, we don't really ne-"
She's cut off when Zoey stares at her with big, sad puppy eyes.
“Yes we do. What if we don't get them and we die of starvation because you refused to let us buy snacks?"
Mira rolls her eyes, trying and failing to ignore the look on her face. “Zoey, you're not going to die from me denying one bag of chips.”
Rumi just silently watches them bicker, sneaking the bag of chips into the basket when Mira is distracted. Zoey sees this out of the corner of her eye and tries not to laugh at Mira fighting a losing battle.
"Two against one. We're getting them.” Zoey says in a sing-song voice.
"What- Rumi!” Mira notices the bag of chips in the bag, and Rumi gives a fake sympathetic look to her.
"Sorry! She has a point. What if we get hungry but just for a snack?”
Mira groans. "Fine, we can get them.”
Zoey's grin widens and she grabs a handful of different chips when they pass them, and Mira just rolls her eyes when she sees the collection piling up in their basket.
"Okay, we need real food now.” Mira states bluntly. Zoey looks jokingly offended but slowly nods along.
"Sure, sure.”
Rumi giggles, soft and airy, and Zoey whips her head around to stare at her. Rumi stops abruptly and slightly tilts her head to the side, confused.
“...What? Did I do something?"
“No. That was- I've never heard you laugh like that before? And we've known each other for, like, years."
Rumi just looks even more puzzled.
“I just laughed?"
“It was lighter," Mira points out. Realer, she wants to say. She doesn't know why, but she wants to make her laugh like that again. It made her heart flutter, a feeling she could get used to.
“Okay, nevermind." Zoey says, but she's kicking her feet on the inside. She really wants to hear that laugh again.
After a while, and a few more small playful arguments about what and what not to get, the girls finish shopping and head up to check out.
"We did not need this much.” Mira quietly says as they leave, bags in hand.
"Yes we did. We have nothing at home.” Zoey retorts.
"The snacks were a bit much…” Rumi admits, and Zoey realizes then just how many bags they were carrying.
"Okay, fine, maybe we… I went a little overboard… but can you blame me? At least we won't be hungry."
Rumi nods. “Yeah, I guess."
She's only agreeing because she has a soft spot the size of the moon for them.
Mira just sighs, loud.
“Our arms are going to be so sore after this."
“Stop complaining, Mir. You know you don't really mind." Zoey says. Mira shoots her a warning look but doesn't deny.
They finally return back to the penthouse, and Zoey all but throws the bags on the counter and collapses on the couch.
"Wait.” Rumi says, and the girls turn to look at her questioningly.
"Are we going to lunch? Or should we just order something online?”
"Oh my god, I forgot we were going to go." Mira groans, and Zoey frowns.
“You can just order something. I don't mind where."
“We can still order from the new restaurant, just delivery?" Zoey speaks up, and Rumi nods.
“Of course. What do you want?"
“I want to try their dakgangjeong." Zoey requests as Rumi taps her phone to place an online order.
“Can I just get the jjampong?”
"Of course.”
After a moment, while Mira works on putting the groceries up, Rumi announces that the food's on the way before walking over to sit with Zoey.
Zoey, of course, moves to sit right beside her, and turns on the tv to show her the newest episode of her favourite k-drama. She explains briefly what's happened already, and she looks so happy Rumi can practically feel the energy radiating off her.
So, so pretty. She's so doomed.
Rumi tries to focus on the episode, but Zoey's sitting so close to her, she's trying to hide any emotions that aren't directed at the drama.
Mira finishes putting away the groceries and joins them on the couch, Zoey explaining the show to her like she did to Rumi, and Mira looks completely smitten.
Rumi always wondered if there was something more between them that was never spoken about. The way they looked at each other like they hung the moon and stars, their close relationship.
She always wanted to be part of it, more than she would let herself admit. She decided she could settle with being best friends.
Even if she wanted more.
Even if she would always want more, she would never let herself express that. She didn't deserve to want.
“Rumi? Hey, Rums, you okay?" Zoey noticed a small shift, her mind always working fast to notice the world around her.
“What? Oh, yeah, I'm fine." She smiled to make it seem convincing. Zoey looked skeptical but let it slide.
The food arrived, and they gathered around the table to eat. Zoey's dakgangjeong, Mira's jjangmyeon, and Rumi's tteokbokki.
“This smells amazing." Zoey sighed, already digging into her food.
“Really. It tastes good, too." Rumi points out.
After a few minutes of eating in silence, Mira speaks up, striking a conversation.
“So, what did you get, Zo?"
“Dakgangjeong. It's really good. Like, seriously. Amazing."
"Well clearly not as good as Rumi's,” Rumi looks up at the mention of her name. "She's already nearly done.”
"Oh stop it, Mira. Don't be jealous because I like my food.”
"I like my food, you're just usually a picky eater. I don't think I've ever seen you eat so fast.”
"Yeah, yeah, well I'm just full of surprises today aren't I?” Rumi says, a sarcastic but fond lilt to her tone.
Zoey starts laughing, and before they know it, all three girls are laughing without knowing why. But they don't need to know why. Because it feels good to just laugh like this with each other.
After they're done, they clean up and go back to the couch. They all sit close together, the tv turned on as they half-pay attention to it. Zoey, however, is listening to every word being said.
Yeah, she really likes this show. It's one of her favourites. The main character goes through a lot because she went to Korea to meet her long-distance boyfriend and to find a connection with her late mother.
Xo Kitty, she thinks? All she can explain is that a girl goes to an academy where her boyfriend cheats and she discovers she likes girls? It's confusing.
She's also not really paying attention because she's exhausted, more than usual, and is trying not to pass out on Mira's shoulder.
Not that she would mind. Mira's the biggest lover girl they've ever met, even if she tries to hide it behind a tough exterior. She always notices everything, too.
So of course she notices Rumi trying not to fall asleep. She pulls her closer and whispers, “sleep."
She listens, of course, because she would do anything for them. Before she shuts her eyes, she spots Zoey staring at her with worry etched into her face.
She falls asleep wondering why she was worried, why they were acting differently. Were they different, or did she change?