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Drumming his fingers on his desk, Apollo craned his neck as he watched the newest Wright Anything Agency's client leave Phoenix's office and exit out the front door. In the wake of the closing door, silence settled over the office as its only other occupant, Athena, seemed to be engrossed in her work. At least she was, until she looked up at him, tilting her head curiously.
"Apollo? You ok?"
"Yup! Peachy," he said a little too loudly, standing up from his desk and knocking two files to the floor. "I'm just going to go speak to Mr. Wright before I head out!" he explained, scrambling to pick up his paperwork.
Athena frowned at him. "Apollo, I don't need Widget to see that you're experiencing high levels of stress. Are you sure you don't want a short the-"
"Nope! All good, thanks," Apollo interrupted, shoving the files back onto his desk and briskly walking to the door of Phoenix's office. As his hand reached for the door handle, he caught his own reflection in the window, the glass darkened from the late hour of the day. His bracelet tightened almost painfully. With a steadying breath, he closed his eyes hard in an attempt to cut off the hyper-focus of his perceiving. "I'm fine," he muttered, before reaching out and knocking on the door. "Mr. Wright? Do you have a minute?"
~
Apollo fidgeted in his seat, looking more nervous than Phoenix had ever seen him. The young attorney had become very conscious of his movements and tells when experiencing strong emotions, but even Phoenix could pick up on the scratch of Apollo's fingernail on the fabric of his slacks, or the fact that he seemed to be looking anywhere but directly at him.
Phoenix finally cleared his throat. "Well, Apollo, you have the floor. What do you want to talk about?"
"Well," Apollo began, eyes still flicking between Phoenix's desk. "I have a question. But it's a personal thing, so I would completely respect your privacy if you were to not answer."
"Oh?" Phoenix asked curiously, rubbing a finger over his chin. "Fire away, then. You're welcome to ask me anything."
Despite the offer, Apollo only seemed to tense more. His fingernails were digging into his palms and he held his body in such a rigid way, it felt like he was vibrating. It felt like a river of sweat was running down his back and he hoped to any god around that if that was really happening, that it wasn't noticeable. However, one glance up at Phoenix told him otherwise, as his boss was regarding him with clear concern, leaning forward in his chair.
Dammit, Apollo thought, gritting his teeth. He totally knows something is up. Just ask him, Justice, come on! This shouldn't be so hard, it's just a simple question, maybe he'll prefer not to answer and you can just think about it on your own. Oh god, I've been quiet for too long, if he's not suspicious already, he will be now. I'm wasting time, I gotta just ask. Just go for it, do something, just-
Worried by the growing silence, Phoenix asked, "Apollo, are you o-"
"WhatmadeyouwanttomarryMr.Edgeworth?"
Phoenix stopped short, eyebrows flying upward as his mouth hung open. "What on earth-"
Apollo's face had gone bright red and he slapped his hands over his mouth as if he'd just disclosed a government secret. "I'm sorry," he half-yelled, the sound dampened behind his hands. He started scrambling out of his chair. "That's inappropriate of me, I'll just go-"
"No, wait, Apollo!" Phoenix interjected as he half-rose to his feet, hand outstretched. "I didn't even fully hear what you said, what was that?"
With apparent reluctance, Apollo stayed put, now standing, but slouching in defeat, a hand covering his face as two fingers rubbed at his creased brow. "How- How did you know you wanted...to marry Mr. Edgeworth?"
Phoenix blinked. "Oh. I guess I did hear you correctly."
"This was a terrible idea," Apollo groaned, heaving an embarrassed sigh. "Forget it, I'll just go curl into a ball under my desk now."
"Hold on, just give me a second," Phoenix hastily said, running a hand through his hair as he recalibrated his brain for the conversation he was about to have. "Before I answer this, can I ask why?"
Somehow, Apollo became even redder. "Well," he began, before beginning to mumble at a breakneck pace. "I just figured you would be the person to ask, because, you know, you're one of only married people I know and you and Mr. Edgeworth had a difficult decision to make about that with your careers, considering there could be repercussions if Mr. Edgeworth was return to court regularly, so you likely had to be sure and think a lot about it and frankly I'm just curious because it feels like a hugely important event and people feel very strongly about it and there's so much to consider and it's expensive and I don't know if it will change anything and I keep chickening out because it's all so overwhelming, I can't tell if I'm thinking rationally and considering all angles of if I'm just freaking out, it feels like I'm freaking out-"
"Whoa, Apollo." He straightened up, wide eyes locking with Phoenix's as two firm hands grasped the sides of his shoulders. "Breathe," Phoenix continued, concerned, but focused.
Apollo's jaw clenched and he felt himself lock up in a panic even more, as if he meant to hold his breath out of sheer spite.
Phoenix gave him a pointed look. "Deep breaths, now," he repeated. "Come on."
Apollo finally closed his eyes tightly and sucked in a breath, forcing it in his nose and out his mouth. His clenched fists finally loosened and some of the tension started to ease out of his jaw.
"Sit down for a second, ok?" Phoenix assured him, letting go of Apollo as he stepped back to lock the door and joined him at the other chair in front of the desk. He was still so stiff, he looked like someone who'd never sat in a chair before in his life. Phoenix couldn't help but smile sympathetically.
"So...you're thinking of proposing?"
He half expected Apollo to explode all over again, or glare, or maybe make another attempt to leave, but instead he sunk his face into his hands, elbows propped up on his knees. "Maybe," he said, muffled.
"What are you so wound up about?" Phoenix asked as he leant on the arm of the chair. "Not going to say I'm surprised that you're nervous, but I thought it would be a kind of happy-nervous."
Apollo huffed out a sigh, his hands dropping from his face, but his eyes were still aimed pointedly at the floor. "I just- It's just a really big decision. And every time I try to do it, something stops me. I get halfway through planning something or I even have it in my pocket and I just- I just can't."
Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "Why can't you? What's stopping you?"
"I don't know! If I knew, I would take care of it," Apollo grumbled, nose scrunched up in frustration.
"So you do actually want to get married."
He paused, blinking as if it was an angle he hadn't considered. "I- Yeah. I do."
"Do you think Klavier would say no?" Phoenix asked, gesturing with his hand to punctuate his question.
"No." Apollo admitted and Phoenix chuckled inwardly at the little smile that flickered across Apollo's face as he spoke. "I think he'd be overjoyed. He keeps saying he's excited to be a reverse-trophy husband."
Phoenix huffed a laugh out loud at that. "Sounds like you're both in agreement, then. As long as you feel like you're ready."
At that, Apollo's mouth slanted as he rested his chin in his hand, glancing sideways at Phoenix. "How did you know you were ready?"
Leaning back in his chair, Phoenix sighed, a pleasantly faraway look taking over his eyes. "Hm. I don't think there was one singular moment. I knew I had thoughts that I didn't want to be apart from him again, that I wanted to spend my life with him. But I didn't want my reasons to get married because of fear." He absently ran a thumb over his ring, rotating it around his finger. "I wanted to do it for the reasons I really believed in."
"Which were?" Apollo prompted.
"That I wanted to stand by him through everything, through all the good and all the bad." As he spoke, an image appeared in Phoenix's mind. The moment that he had finally come face to face with Miles at their ceremony, his future husband turning to look at him. The warm sunlight reflecting off of his glasses, the heart-aching fondness in his eyes, the gentle firmness of their hands clasped together. "And because getting married is special to me," he continued, exhaling as the memories and emotions started to ball up in his throat. "It's really important to have a celebration of our past and future with the most important people in our lives. I wanted to proudly say that Miles Edgeworth is my husband and that I chose the most brilliant, passionate, handsome and infuriatingly stubborn man I've ever met. And I love more than I thought I could ever love anyone. I had faith that we could get through anything, together."
After a moment of silence, Phoenix looked over to see Apollo finally meeting his eyes, mouth pressed tightly closed as his eyes swam with tears. "That's uh, really nice, actually," he managed, voice wavering as he sniffed and blinked away his watery eyes. "I think I might just," Apollo paused, hands wringing in his lap, "...be bad at the whole faith thing." The silence from Phoenix didn't help ease the sick feeling in his stomach, but there was no taking back his words now. "Doesn't help that a lot of supposedly big, important moments blow up in my face. Actually, Klavier and I have both had really terrible things happen that we never expected. I don't know how to trust that this won't lead to either of us getting hurt again. But I want to," he added weakly, forcing himself to take a breath. Part of him hoped this admission would help ease the nerves rattling into his hands and halting his breath. All it really did was make him feel like was placed under the direct heat and light of a powerful spotlight. "I don't want to be feeling this way."
"Why do you want to marry Klavier?"
With a start, Apollo sat up straighter and looked over at Phoenix, who was regarding him with the utmost sincerity. "He...makes me feel safe." Phoenix nodded, gesturing with his hand for Apollo to continue. "He likes to add his dramatic flair very liberally, but he genuinely cares about the people around him. He's great with Trucy and totally supports her and her dreams. Taking things seriously doesn't scare him either, he knows the moments to listen and the ones to lighten the mood." As he began, he found that he couldn't stop, a smile creeping onto his face as a warmth started to spread through his chest. "He's kind," Apollo added. "He thinks about things carefully and always tries to understand people, good or bad. He's so committed to talking things out, even when it's uncomfortable. I've never met someone so unapologetically themself, it makes me feel like it's ok to not second guess myself so much."
"And what if I told you that he's a stuck up prick and I don't think he's all that good for you?"
Immediately, Apollo's demeanour shifted, looking over at Phoenix directly with a foul glare. "I'd say fuck off and that you're completely wrong."
Phoenix barked out a laugh. "Not your most eloquent defense, Apollo, but I'd say it's more than good enough. I think you do have faith, you just don't think about it the same way as other people. Which is completely ok."
Apollo blinked a few times, his brain working overtime to process everything. He had to admit, throughout all of the directions their conversation had taken, his bracelet had not reacted once. Everything that Phoenix had said about his own experience, about Apollo, was all completely genuine. "You think so?"
"Yeah," Phoenix smiled encouragingly, reaching out to gently squeeze Apollo's shoulder. "You're a smart guy and you're thinking at this from every possible angle. Some of this is your brain trying to trip you up, and it sounds like you're recognizing that. The most important thing is that you and Klavier make each other happy. Don't forget, we have three people in the office that have some sort of ability to find the truth. If there was any serious problems between the two of you, I'm sure we would have picked up on it by now."
Apollo chuckled, sheepishly running a hand over his hair. "Thanks, Mr. Wright. I really do appreciate it."
"Anytime," Phoenix replied, squeezing his shoulder once more before rising from his seat to return behind his desk. "It'll be alright, just trust yourself."
"I'll do my best," Apollo sighed, standing up and attempting to hide his wobbly legs. "I think my brain is empty of all thoughts after that conversation."
"Make sure you have enough to get yourself home," Phoenix chuckled, grabbing another of his files as he sat back down. "Feel free to let me, Trucy, Athena, any of us know if you need anything, alright?"
"Yeah. Will do."
Closing the door to the office awkwardly, Apollo fought the impulse to sink to the floor. With another sigh, he forced himself to walk back to his desk, though it didn't take long to pick up on Athena watching him out of the corner of her eye as he packed up his things.
"I can feel you staring, Athena, what is it?" he asked finally as he hefted his bag over his shoulder.
"Oh, uh, it's nothing!" she squeaked, scrambling to give the impression that she was actually working.
Apollo glanced at her as he walked towards the door, stopping in front of her desk. He could see her pointedly looking down and scribbling nonsense onto a legal pad as Widget flashed several different colours on her neck.
Listen, I," he began and she lifted her head to look at him. "I know you're trying to be respectful and not ask. I'm just- I'm going to propose. To Klavier," he blurted.
Athena's jaw dropped and she just stared at him for a moment.
"I'm just trying to work myself up to actually do it," Apollo added, grimacing at his admittance to his own cowardice. Although it was arguably easier to say the second time around, his heart was still beating hard in his chest.
"Apollo!" Athena cried, jumping up from her desk and throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. "That's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!"
He laughed awkwardly, patting her on the back before actually leaning into the embrace and closing his eyes briefly. As much as he'd be loathe to admit it, Athena did give very good hugs.
"Thanks," he muttered. "It's just a lot."
"Oh, I bet," she agreed, pulling back and resting her hands on his shoulders. "It's going to be completely fine though. I mean, you're already living together and you seem pretty happy. You think things will change all that much?"
Apollo opened his mouth and closed it again, considering. "I guess not," he admitted.
"See?" Athena said with a beaming smile, letting him go to get the door for him. "You're Apollo Justice, you're completely fine. And Klavier's going to be overjoyed, I just know it. He's crazy about you."
With a bashful smile, Apollo gave her a little wave goodbye as he walked out. "Thanks Athena. Have a good weekend, yeah?"
"You too," she replied with a wink as she shut the door.
Apollo let out a breath into the chill air, blooming in front of him like a plume of smoke. He rifled through his bag until he pulled out a small box tucked safely away in an inner pocket and felt a little flutter in his heart as he opened it to look at its contents one more time. Maybe, just maybe, things really would be fine.