Chapter Text
“Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star, how I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky,” Hua Cheng’s mother hummed cheerfully, loud enough for little Hua Cheng to hear from across the living room, but not so loud as to strain her throat; after all, they had a whole evening of singing Christmas carols ahead of them.
The good thing was that she managed to find both the Chinese and English versions online, since she and Hua Cheng had yet to learn the language spoken by the people living here. They had only left China two months ago, and as much as she would love for her lovely son to make friends with their neighbours and spend time with them, she had no intention of adding another burden on his plate. Her little boy had suffered enough. They had time—they had just started a new life here.
Truth be told, they were lucky she had managed to find an English school for him—she should pat her past-self on the back for encouraging her sweet Hong’er to learn English back when they were still living in China. Almost as if she had subconsciously known it might come in handy someday.
In the blink of an eye, she stopped smiling.
My past-self, who wasn’t even thinking that one day, their lives would turn into real hell.
At the sudden thought, she couldn’t help but feel pathetic. How could she have believed any of the nonsense her now ex-husband was spouting at the altar? How could she have let him raise a hand against their sweet and little Hong’er?
His sobs and swollen face would haunt her for the rest of her life.
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Before that single thought could turn into self-hatred—as it sometimes happened—she pushed the negative emotions away as soon as they emerged from the depths of her heart. She wouldn’t let the memories of the past ruin the cheerful mood she had been working so hard to build, especially when her son was so perceptive to immediately sense that something was tormenting her.
Today is a very special day.
With her back still turned to Hua Cheng, she patted her cheeks lightly, trying to ward off the bad mood.
And I have long since decided I wanted to be a better person for him. A mother he would love with all his heart.
“Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star…” Now smiling from ear to ear, she continued to pace around the kitchen connected with the main room, only occasionally turning her head to check on Hua Cheng—or rather, to make sure he hadn’t gotten tired of waiting yet. Ah, she couldn’t help it; preparing all these dishes took her longer than she had thought it could! But, as expected, Hua Cheng—who was sitting at the table, swinging his legs to the tune she was humming—watched her quietly, patiently waiting for the food. When their eyes met, he smiled softly at her, making her want to drop everything and go squeeze his cheeks.
He was such a lovely child! And his cheeks were very squishable!
“We will start soon, I promise!”
“It’s okay, mom. I can wait.”
She looked at him gratefully before turning her attention back to the stove. She lifted the lid of the pot to peek at the beet broth inside, which was slowly simmering. It already looked so tempting and smelled so delicious that she felt her stomach growl.
“But it looks like you can’t, mom,” little Hua Cheng laughed, jumping off the chair to stand by her side and look at the soup himself. “Looks yummy.”
“En,” she smiled and ruffled his hair with her free hand. “This is my third attempt at preparing this…”
“I would eat anything you make for me,” Hua Cheng assured with a smile. “But why do people here eat beet soup on Christmas Eve…? Why do they eat so much?” he asked with curiosity, eyeing at least three other pots with different kinds of food inside.
“Tradition says that there should be twelve dishes at Christmas Eve dinner—the Christian faith says they symbolize the apostles who sat down with Jesus at the Last Supper. I also read that there are twelve dishes because we have twelve months. As for the beet soup...” she looked at him with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, “it’s good for longevity and beauty. Though my sweet Hong’er is already the most handsome man in the world; even without beet soup you will find your special someone,” she teased with a wink, making Hua Cheng blush. She couldn’t help but laugh at his adorable reaction. “But make sure to eat it—beets are super healthy!”
After that, they fell into a comfortable silence. Hua Cheng’s mother continued to check the dishes when something important suddenly dawned on her. She gasped. “Hong’er!! Go upstairs and find that cute and super fluffy Santa Claus sweater I bought you!!”
Hua Cheng groaned, and his cheeks turned red anew. Just like a beet. “Mom, but that’s so embarrassing!”
“Aiyooh, Hong’er!” she tutted, shaking her head. She put on oven gloves and picked up the pot with beet soup, then walked over to the table where she carefully set it down. As soon as her hands were free, she crossed her arms over her chest and turned back to her son—failing to look intimidating because of the apron she was wearing: a very Christmas themed one, with the words “Santa’s Favorite Helper” on it. “It’s just you and me; what’s there to be embarrassed about? I promise you that in, I don’t know, fifteen years, you will look back on this day with a smile on your face!” She walked over to him and knelt down, taking one of his hands and squeezing it. “I just want to create some nice memories together.”
When Hua Cheng still grimaced, she looked at him with a gentle, yet incredibly warm smile. Immediately, Hua Cheng’s expression began to crumble.
“Pretty please? It’s our first Christmas here—I want you to have as many fond memories as possible. And I would really, reeeeally love to see my Hong’er in that red sweater, you know?” she crooned, booping his nose with a soft chuckle.
Whether it was her charm or her pleas, Hua Cheng finally gave up, nodding shyly. With a soft sigh escaping his lips, he obediently climbed the stairs straight to his room. She followed him with her eyes until his small figure disappeared from her view, a warm—and proud—smile never leaving her lips.
When Hua Cheng reappeared in the living room a few minutes later, wearing a Santa Claus sweater, the table was already set with the plates and several traditional dishes—there were mushroom dumplings, beet soup, fish, cabbage with peas, and even gingerbread. A real treat, considering it was just Hua Cheng and his mother, and yet…
Glancing at the table, Hua Cheng sucked in a sharp breath as soon as he noticed something was wrong. In the blink of an eye, he turned to his mother, his eyes wide open; he couldn’t stop his body from shaking. “Why is the table set for three? Is he… going to be here with us? I thought–I thought he wouldn’t—!”
Tears had already welled up in his mismatched eyes, but hadn’t yet rolled down his cheeks, holding on bravely. His mother quickly appeared at his side to comfort him; she hugged him tightly and showered his temple with soft kisses. “No, Hong’er, no, listen to me. He won’t be here, I promise. We left China and moved here to get away from him, remember?” She leaned back and kept smiling at him, steadily holding his shoulders, all the while trying to hold back her own tears. “I didn’t mean to scare you, my love, mama is very sorry. You see, it’s also one of Christmas Eve traditions. I could have told you sooner, I’m very sorry.”
Hua Cheng looked up and wiped the tears with the back of his arm. “That’s okay. What tradition?” he asked, his voice slightly hoarse.
“Your mama has read a lot about Christmas,” she began quietly, drawing Hua Cheng into her arms again; he immediately wrapped his arms around her neck, hugging her tightly. When they had been still living in China with Hua Cheng’s abusive father, the little boy could always find the comfort he needed in his mother’s strong arms. Even now, when it was just the two of them, her warm embrace was the only place where he could find solace.
“...and one of them says we can only start dinner when the first star appears in the sky,” she continued, breaking their hug and gently taking Hua Cheng’s hand in her own. They went to the part of the living room where the window faced southwest, and when his mother opened it, they looked out together, craning their necks in search of a small, shining star in the endless darkness above their little house. It was then that Hua Cheng let out a soft, breathless sound when he spotted it.
“It’s there!” he sang joyfully, completely forgetting what had upset him earlier; his excitement made his mother chuckle. As always, it was a warm, honeyed and soothing sound—something he started to hear much more often since they had moved in here.
Hua Cheng leaned towards her, and she embraced him once more. “En, en,” she agreed, her eyes crinkling into crescents. “Then, another tradition says: you must be prepared for an unexpected guest who may show up at our door asking for help. They might be hungry, thirsty, or even cold; they might be a stranger or a neighbour—it doesn’t matter who, really—but we should welcome them with open arms so we can spend this special day together,” she explained, kissing her beloved son on the cheek.
“Oh,” Hua Cheng gasped, understanding dawning on him. “So that’s why the table is set for three…”
“That’s right,” she smiled. “Mama wants to give you the best experience possible so you can talk about it with your friends at school in a few days. We may be Chinese and not believe in God, but we can have a little celebration of our own, hm?” she explained with a wink, ruffling Hua Cheng’s hair. He laughed. She grinned.
And everything seemed to fall into place.
As soon as they sat down next to each other at the table, Hua Cheng’s mother couldn’t help but gesture at the plates, briefly explaining the meaning of each one and eagerly answering Hua Cheng’s questions. “First, we will eat all the delicious food mama has prepared!” she announced, clasping her hands together; she was clearly excited about what was to come. “Then, we will sing some Christmas carols! Mama would love to hear her lovely Hong’er sing~”
She leaned down and kissed the crown of his messy hair, then squeezed his flushed cheeks. She knew her son always loved to sing when he thought no one was around; why was he so embarrassed about it?
“And then the presents! Everyone loves them!”
Hua Cheng ducked his head and, as honest as kids were, admitted earnestly, “I don’t need them… as long as you are with me, mama.”
Hearing this, Hua Cheng’s mother froze for a split second, then slowly turned her head to face him. It was then that her expression changed; her soft lips began to tremble, and a few tears rolled down her cheeks.
For a moment, Hua Cheng was afraid that he had said something wrong, but all his worries disappeared when he felt his mother’s arms around his body again, squeezing him so tightly that he could hardly breathe.
But he didn’t mind it; he loved it when his mama hugged him.
“MY SWEET LITTLE BOY,” she wept, but despite her tears, she didn't sound sad at all. “YOU ARE… YOU ARE THE BEST THING MAMA COULD DREAM OF. Thank you, thank you for always being with me!!! Listen, we will be together forever, yes? Mama will always be there for you!!! I promise!! I LOVE YOU, HONG’ER!!” she cried, all the while nuzzling his head.
Smiling shyly, Hua Cheng closed his eyes, enjoying his mother’s warmth.
Perhaps his life, after all, wasn’t so bad.