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2025-12-15
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Cat Burglar

Summary:

The cat continued staring at her with a studious expression. Then, as if impatient about her inaction, it let free another meow much louder than before. The sound pierced the deathly silence, echoing off the walls and bouncing around the room.

On the other side of the warehouse door there was a shuffling, a low mumble of voices that made Kasumi's heart rate pick back up. Forget taking time to formulate a plan, she needed to get out of here now!

--

An unexpected cat threatens to blow Kasumi's cover while out on a job. She doesn't get what she came for, but ends up leaving with something far more valuable.

Notes:

A fun idea that came to me. Enjoy :)

Work Text:

“Meow!”

Kasumi spun around, eyes frantically scanning the hidden underground warehouse for whoever must've made the strange noise.

She'd been careful. She was certain she'd been alone when she infiltrated the property. Who could've possibly followed her here?

There was a party happening in the mansion above but the wealthy patrons had been none the wiser that she had snuck her way around the guards, too busy enjoying the alcohol and discussing questionable business ventures to pay attention anything that seemed off in their surroundings.

It was an odd sound. It didn't sound like any species of the galaxy she'd met before. It sounded like... it almost sounded like...

“Mrrp.”

… a cat?

Kasumi glanced down. The pounding of her adrenaline-filled heart subsided at the sight of a small creature approaching her with hesitant curiosity. She relaxed her guarded posture, lowering herself to the cat's level.

Just what was a cat doing here?

It walked close enough for Kasumi to study it in the scarcely lit environment. Even in this condition, Kasumi could tell the cat looked worse for wear. There was a bloodied patch of fur clumped to the side of its body. It glanced at her with hungry eyes and she could tell the poor animal was malnourished.

The warehouse wasn't a safe environment. There were a number of hazards that could've caused the injury, but that didn't explain why the cat was starving.

Kasumi couldn't think of any reason for the cat to be here in the first place. Her thoughts turned to the owner of the mansion. He was a wealthy businessman, known for collecting and selling valuable artifacts. Though he was praised widely for his savvy business dealings, it was an open secret among the elite that his acquisition methods were less than legal. That's why she'd been hired to steal back what he had taken.

It didn't make sense for the guy to seal a cat away in an underground tomb to rot though. Such a cruel act didn't seem to have any benefit to his interests. Kasumi concluded that the cat had stowed away during the illegal shipment of an item and ended up here by accident.

Regardless of how it came to be here, it wasn't going to be staying in this situation much longer. Kasumi couldn't just leave the cat to die, especially not when the poor thing had sought her out directly like this. The question was how she was going to get the cat and the artifact she'd been hired to steal out at the same time.

The cat continued staring at her with a studious expression. Then, as if impatient about her inaction, it let free another meow much louder than before. The sound pierced the deathly silence, echoing off the walls and bouncing around the room.

On the other side of the warehouse door there was a shuffling, a low mumble of voices that made Kasumi's heart rate pick back up. Forget taking time to formulate a plan, she needed to get out of here now!

A few moments later, the door swung open. Five armed guards strode in— not the toughest security force Kasumi had come up against in her career as a thief, but a challenge now that she intended to leave with the cat. She instinctively grabbed the surprised feline, who made an attempt to wriggle free. Kasumi tightened her protective grip and ducked behind a column of statues.

The commotion was all that was needed to alert the guards to her general location. With her hands full like this, she wouldn't also be able to pinch the large artifact and quickly sneak away before the guards spotted her. She could hear footsteps draw near as she wracked her brain for how to proceed. It wasn't long before she could hear the guards approaching, far too close for comfort.

She couldn't pull out her gun as usual. Activating her tactical cloak wouldn't do much good; the cat in her arms would give her away, as amusing as the look on the guards' faces at the sight of a seemingly floating cat would be.

What she needed was a diversion.

Throwing a flashbang grenade across the room, Kasumi took advantage of the distracted guards as they instinctively swerved their heads to the source of the explosion. Over the faint ringing in her ears from the blast, she could hear their surprised yells and the frantic movement of feet away from her position.

She heard one of the guards exclaim that several relics broke from the impact. Kasumi could only hope that the artifact she'd been hired to steal wasn't one of them as she shuffled along, steadily getting nearer to the exit. The chaos seemed to have stunned the cat into silence; it offered no protest as Kasumi made her way closer to freedom.

After a few long moments, she finally reached a point where she could reasonably make a dash out through the warehouse door. She hesitated. Leaving now would be the easy, sensible thing to do. But if she left now, it'd be without the item she'd come here to steal in the first place.

She knew where the artifact was located and it wasn't anywhere near the door. It was unfortunate— had it been within reach, she would've been tempted to try her luck, but she'd taken on the responsibility of saving the cat she'd found and she couldn't abandon it now that its salvation was so close at hand.

It wasn't like she had to return to the person who'd hired her tomorrow. In fact she was given two weeks of leeway to pull off the heist. With three days of travel in each direction and eight days to plot and execute the theft itself, it'd be easy enough to come back another time, collect the artifact and hitch a ride on the next shuttle offworld before the deadline was up.

With her mind made up and the guards still fumbling around in distraction, Kasumi darted towards the door and rounded the exit into the hallway. The dim artificial lighting didn't provide much of a reprieve from the dark conditions in the warehouse, but it allowed her to get a better look at the cat's face as it shot its head up to examine the ceiling. Noticing a scab across the top of its nose, Kasumi made a mental note to take the poor creature to a vet once they'd made their escape.

For the time being, the cat seemed content to take in its surroundings as she carried it away from the environment it had been trapped in. She ascended the stairs to the aboveground mansion, rounding corners until she came to the window she planned to escape through. It would be harder to get out with the cat in her arms, but she had fortunately accounted for the artifact she believed she was going to be carrying instead. It wouldn't be too difficult to adapt as long the cat remained calm.

The guards had obviously not yet noticed her absence, making no attempt to pursue her. That afforded her a moment to breathe and get her plan in order. She was going to need a bit of cooperation from the cat. Hopefully it wouldn't react in fear to her next few actions.

She climbed onto the nearby desk and lifted the cat up to the windowsill. Without the stability of a human's arms wrapped around it or the ground beneath its feet, the cat naturally stepped onto the ledge and planted itself there; it watched Kasumi haul herself onto the top of the vending machine that would give her easy access to the window she intended to crawl through to escape.

The machine creaked slightly under her weight, and with no desire to linger around in the cramped space or wait to be found by the guards, Kasumi promptly clambered her way up onto the windowsill to join the cat.

All she had left to do was make her leap to freedom.

Kasumi swung her legs through the window and gently scooped the cat back up in her arms. The cat purred contently when she petted it, reaffirming her grip around its body to ensure it was comfortable before she made the jump.

Behind her, Kasumi heard the sound of a door being swung open, followed by the thudding of multiple footsteps rapidly making their way towards her position. The guards must've realised she wasn't in the warehouse anymore!

Spurred by the sudden urgency, Kasumi pushed herself out the window. She landed tactically on both feet, unharmed from years of experience making similar manoeuvres during her line of work. The cat yelped in surprise; its pounding heart steadied back to normal as Kasumi carried it away from the building that had once been its prison.

Kasumi spoke softly to the cat as she walked into town in search of the nearest vet. She would leave it in the vet's care to be treated for its injuries. She'd get to go back to her rented apartment, bask in the pride of having done a good deed, and then plan her return to the mansion to steal the artifact for real.

She smiled as the cat nuzzled its head against her. She wondered, briefly, if that was the cat's way of expressing affection towards her. She considered for the first time that the cat may not have a home to return to. She didn't know if it came from offworld or somewhere more local. Perhaps it wasn't microchipped and would be sent to a shelter.

Kasumi decided she'd at least find out that basic info from the vet before parting ways. Maybe she'd learn some characteristics about the cat as well, like its age and gender, just so she could look back on the little life she'd saved with a bit more clarity.

It was funny, really. She'd saved many lives before, both with her trip through the Omega 4 Relay and with her skills as a thief once the Reapers invaded. After the war ended she'd sworn to leave the heroics behind her. But there was something about how easily she'd stepped into the role of saviour again – for a cat, of all things – that gave Kasumi that same warm feeling of having made a positive difference in the world.

Eventually, Kasumi reached the coordinates displayed on her omni-tool. In front of her stood a large veterinary building. She glanced down at the relaxed feline who gently meowed back at her, as if aware that their time together was almost over.

Perhaps in a different world, Kasumi could've been the one to take the cat in as her own, but the life of a master thief didn't allow her to stay in one place long enough to provide it with the care it needed. She figured she owed it to the cat she'd saved to let it go to a loving home where it could thrive.

The cat continued staring up at her, its face no longer obscured by darkness in the full light of day. Kasumi committed the moment to her memory as she stepped into the building.