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The hum of the janky apartment heater fills the room as Sal and Travis sat awkwardly on the bed playing video games. Sal had nervously invited him over after their conversation in the bathroom. He wasn't sure why, but he just knew that he had this aching feeling in his chest while Travis spilled his guts to him behind the bathroom stall door. Travis needed a friend, some sort of safe space, and Sal wanted to be that for him.
So there they sat, silent on the bed. They were a reasonable distance apart on the mattress, maybe a little too far for "friends." Neither of them dared to move closer. There was an unsaid agreement between them, no mention of what was said in the bathroom, and absolutely no mention of the note on the bathroom floor. So they settled for this, saying a few teasing words every time one of them would screw up in the game. It was tense, but slightly comforting.
The TV sounded a "defeat" voice line, and Sal slumped back against the bed.
Travis looked at him sideways, nervous and cautious, almost as if it burned to look at him too long.
"I'm bored," Sal groaned.
Travis chuckled and fiddled with the controller in his hands. "Bored or upset that we can't beat the level?" He smirked, still avoiding eye contact with Sal.
Sal's masked face turned to look at Travis, his real eye squinted in a smile that was hidden behind the prosthetic. "Both things can be true at once," Sal giggled.
They laughed for a minute, their eyes meeting each other. Travis quickly tore his gaze away, clearing his throat. Sal rolled his head over and stared at the ceiling, while Travis looked at the screen. He shot a few glances at the shorter boy's legs. Clad only in basketball shorts, Travis couldn't deny how the thick plush of Sal's thighs made his skin heat.
He took a deep breath and spoke, "So what should we- uh- do?" He mumbled, eyes still averted.
Sal sat back up and stretched his arms softly. Travis's eyes followed the curve of his biceps. Sal happened to notice his distraction, tilting his head at the taller boy.
"Whatcha looking at?" Sal said softly, a playful tone is voice.
Travis's eyes widened, and he shook his head. "Sorry, just zoned out there for a minute," he muttered softly. His voice was unconvincing, but Sal would never tell.
Sal chuckled; it's a friendly sound. "Think you could take me?" He challenged.
Travis's face heated up. "Excuse me?" He sputtered, mind racing. Surely Sal didn't mean it like that.
Sal laughed, a heavy and real laugh. "I mean like, in a fight, dumbass." His tone stayed fond. The playfulness of their nature made it feel like they had been friends for years. Travis's original shock and nerves wore off. Now replaced with a smug, giddy feeling.
"Oh, of course I could," He smirked.
Then Sal is pushing Travis, playfully wrestling on the bed. The bed creaked while their boyish chuckles filled the open air. Travis is smiling, genuinely. Not the bullshit fake grin he gives at church. It's freeing for him to hang out with a real friend. To be able to act how he wants to without the fear of his father clouding his brain.
They push and shove for a while until Travis is on top of Sal. He pinned him to the bed, cross necklace dangling over the smaller boy. The light reflected off the gold, casting a shadow of the symbol onto the blue-haired boy's mask.
Travis's brown eyes met Sal's blue, slightly lazy ones. His heart pounded so loud he could hear it in his ears. He shot up quickly, brushing off his slightly disheveled clothing. The burning feeling returned to him. Is this what hell would feel like? If he kissed the boy like he so badly wanted to, would this be what he would meet on the other side? The thought bubbled up in his chest, making him feel sick. His hand shot to his mouth.
Sal sat up on the bed, putting his hands up in surrender.
"Sorry, dude, are you alright? I didn't hurt you, did I?" Sal asked nervously, not sure what had happened so quickly that had caused the blonde to react this way.
Travis took a deep breath, glancing at Sal for a moment before he quickly squeezed his eyes shut.
"I should go."
Travis's voice was soft, scared. He grabbed his bag off the floor quickly and made a beeline for the door. Sal was quick to stand up and follow after him.
"Trav?" He tries.
Travis's movement stilled for a moment before he turned on his heels, eyes glossy and full of shame. His hands held a vice grip on his cross necklace.
Sal stayed stoic. He wasn't sure what to do or say to make things better, but he knew he couldn't let him leave. "Oh, Trav..." He said quietly, hand reaching out softly to cup the blonde's face. Strangely, though, Travis flinched. His hands came up to cover his horrified face. Sal knew that feeling all too well. That fear lived inside of Sal, too. Deep, deep inside of him.
"Travis, I'm not gonna-" Sal started before taking a breath and starting again, "I will never hit you." Sals' voice was smooth, soft, and kind. It takes Travis by immense surprise.
The taller boy took a small step back into the apartment, still silent.
"Come, sit." Sal offered as he sat on the old and worn couch, patting the spot next to him. Travis hesitantly dropped his bag and sat, much further than from the bed.
"I'm not like you." Travis spat out in fear. Sal tilted his head.
"Like me?" Sal questioned.
"A faggot." Travis bit. Oddly enough, the venom that word usually holds when it falls from his mouth is absent. "I'm not a faggot." He repeated.
Sal sat for a while, at a loss for words. He took a breath before responding, "I know." He lied. He gave a small chuckle, weak and fake, but a laugh nonetheless. Travis didn't falter, eyes straight ahead, so straight on it looked like he was barely even there. His gaze was unfocused. Sal could tell there was something heavy happening behind them.
Sal's hands reached up and touched his mask, fingers dancing around to the straps on the back.
"Maybe you're not a faggot," He pauses, "but we're both fucked up."
Sal clicked the straps and pulled off his prosthetic, setting it onto the couch.
Travis looked over, shocked. Sal's face is scarred, damaged, and messy. Yet somehow, Travis has never seen something more perfect. He couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from Sal.
Sal inhaled timidly. "Yeah, disgusting, I know," He let out a self-depricating chuckle. His chest and shoulders caved in slightly. Travis didn't speak for a moment, just processing the words.
"No. You're beautiful," Travis whispers. His eyes are star-struck, watching him.
Sal is equally awe-struck, beautiful? That's a new one. "Beautiful?" He asked, genuinely confused.
"Beautiful," Travis repeated.
"Can I kiss you?"
The question rings in Sal's ears. Travis said it so fast that Sal almost didn't catch it. Travis's face stayed a steady shade of bright red. Sal searched the blonde's face, trying to read his expression. Finally, he nods.
Travis dives in, not giving himself enough time to hear the words echoing through his brain. Years of scripture played through his mind like a broken record. "Sinner." The words replayed over and over.
Sal's lips trailed over his jaw and down to his neck. As the boy's lips reached the small gold chain, Travis bit back tears. The soft bite of Sal's messed-up teeth mixed with the bite of the major sin he's committing overwhelmed his senses. The tears fought their way out, dripping onto Sal's rough skin.
Sal lifts his head gently, immediately noticing the pained expression on his face. "Trav?" He said softly, wiping the tears from his face.
"Please-" Travis choked out, "Keep going." He pleaded. Sal raised an eyebrow, confused at the request. "I'm so far in... I don't wanna stop now," Travis sniffled. Sal looked at him for a moment, trying to see any reluctance in his eyes. Through his teary eyes, there was none. He locked his lips back onto Travis's neck.
It's sickeningly sweet. He's finally tasting the forbidden fruit, and God forgive him, it's the best thing he's ever tasted.
Travis tugged Sal's face back up to his, kissing him feverishly. After a few minutes, they pull away for air. Sal leaned his forehead against Travis's, yet Travis couldn't keep his eyes away from Sal's lips.
"What if God doesn't love me anymore?" Travis whispered to Sal.
"Then I will." Sal smiled as he found Travis's lips again.