Chapter Text
Fall, 1985. That was when Mike Wheeler fell in love. Correction: when he realised he was in love.
What else could this be?
This—this longing in his chest.
The sadness intertwining with regret, seeping through the cracks of his heart as it shatters. Now, Mike isn’t stupid. He’s quick to connect the dots and come up with stellar plans, he knows that. Then, how had he not known this? Well, because he did, he knows, he always has. He bravely thought they could’ve just spent all their lives like this—without having to think or talk or do anything about it.
Oh, but he was wrong, so incredibly wrong. Because now he knows, he knows he knows and it hurts. Because he’s in love.
He’s holding her hand and looking into her soft eyes. And he knows he’s in love.
They kiss but it feels different this time. El just said she loved him, loved him! But he doesn’t feel his chest flutter, or his heart swell. In fact, he feels nothing, absolutely nothing. And he wants to pretend he doesn’t know why. Why his heart doesn’t skip a beat as he hears the words. Why his fingers don’t tingle with excitement when they kiss, why it never did.
He wants to pretend and hopes it lasts a lifetime. Wishes and prays he could stay ignorant and never have to know. Oh but he does, he does know. It wasn’t her hand he wanted to be holding, not her eyes he wanted to get lost in. Because he’s in love.
With Will Byers.
Will was wrong. El wasn’t stupid. Mike was.
One last look at the Byers’ residence, at his childhood, at their shared childhood. Because growing up meant being with Will. Every crevice of his adolescence was Will. He looks back at the only remaining part of it that’s still there, that was staying, unlike Will. No, Will is moving far, far away. Away from Mike.
And Mike doesn’t know how to deal with it. How to come to terms with it. How do you say goodbye to something you never thought you would lose? How do you grieve a loss you’ve taken for granted your entire life?
He wishes things could just go back to the way it was, before everything changed, before he changed. Before everything got too complicated, before he realised. But now he does, and just like many things in his life, Mike is a little too late. He bikes back home and tries to piece back the broken pieces of his heart, of his childhood, finding comfort any way he can, he hugs his mom.