Chapter Text
A disaster had struck Critter Valley, one of the highest degree.
A smoothed out picnic blanket was the crime scene, and Bubba Bubbaphant was on the case. He had no need to pull out his magnifying glass to see the crime in all of its gore. It was a sight that he, as an elephant would never forget…
Picky Piggy’s basket laid in the center of the blanket. The crime? Assault. Something or other … someone… had crushed the basket entirely. As if that weren’t heartless enough, the perpetrator(s?) had taken the contents out and smeared them over the grass hill.
Piggy had spent days perfecting those meals for the perfect picnic with all of her friends. A balance of sugary sweets, healthy delights and savoury snacks. It would be enough to last the three of them all day. Crafty, a member of the Critter Detective Club had summoned her higher up to investigate.
“And what was the plan for the day, Miss Picky…?” Crafty stood besides the elephant who had taken the lead in this case. Picky was curled onto her knees, hunched over in defeat. The unicorn slowly retrieved her notebook - usually made for drawing… but occasionally used for cases.
“B-.. Bubba! I was going to make lunch for Crafty and Bobby… And we had only left the rug for a moment to hunting for some flowers!… We weren’t gone any longer than ten minutes!… Two days of work, gone in ten minutes!” It was difficult not to feel bad for the victim, Bobby Bearhug embraced the pig — gentleness in her hold.
“Don’t worry Picky, Bubba is the smartest critter in the whole Valley and Crafty is incredibly clever..! They’ll find out who did this and seek our justice.” The bear was as soft as her fur, Bubba nodded and turned towards the scene.
“Crafty, help me inspect what meals were destroyed. I have a funny feeling in my nose that the perpetrators may not be far away…” He wasn’t kidding. Despite the meals being smushed into paste over the green grass. The smell of cooked meat wafted strongly through the air.
“Um, Picky… what exactly did you make?” Crafty asked as she knelt down. A thick slice of bread with butter and some kind of meat had been stomped in an inward direction. Perhaps the perpetrators had slipped upon the meat when fleeing.
“W-well. The smell would be cold meat sandwiches… They’re filling and filled with nutrients. I-it was Tuna since I know Bobby loves fish… it was going to be a surprise.” Picky’s kindness was returned with a tight hug from the Bear.
“Uh huh… You mentioned cold meat?”
Crafty’s hoof scooped up a chunk of tuna — inspecting it closely.
“Peculiar… These aren’t cold at all. In fact, they feel as if they’ve been freshly cooled from an oven.”
Bubba leaned over, politely taking the meat from Crafty and nodding firmly. Whoever had done this had somehow heated up the basket.
“That would also explain the charred edges.” Bubba had inspected the basket as Crafty done what he had asked of her. So in other words, the Critters who had done this had somehow access to some kind of fire.
Crafty and Bubba stood back, putting their heads together. Crafty took her sketchbook and began to document the facts of the crime.
- Critter (s) had access to fire > controlled flame? No uncontrolled fire
- Done quickly > At least 10 minutes.
“Who do we know is fast on their feet?” Bubba turned to Crafty, placing his hooves inside of his special brown coat he only wore when it was time for his investigations. Crafty raised her head from the book and turned towards her partner in solving crime.
“.. Hoppy?”
“correct. I’m not saying Hoppy did it, but I say we go ask Hoppy if she had seen anything suspicious recently. No one gets around the Valley faster than her.”
She nodded, if anyone had seen anything… it was likely to be Hoppy. Crafty took a step back, towards her friends. “Please, Bubba. You take the lead in this. I’d like to help Bobby and Picky clean up. I’ll join you afterwards.”
Bubba gave the unicorn a soft smile before nodding. “I’ll leave that up to you ladies then.” He turned forward and continued his investigation as Crafty rejoined the two other women. Picky was now less emotional, but no less deflated. How could she not be disappointed?
“I’m sorry Picky… I know you worked hard on this…” Crafty took Piggy’s hand, holding it in her turquoise hoof. Picky gave a discouraged nod. Bobby found an excuse to pull the unicorn into a group hug. “Oh! Oh! I have an idea!”
“How about.. Next time. We can all help you make lunch together! That way, we can all spend even more time together!” Bobby cheered, bouncing up and down slightly and inconsequentially dragging her friends with her. Crafty gave a timid laugh, not bothering to wriggle her head free.
“That sounds fun..! Um, if you wouldn’t mind that, Picky.” Crafty glanced her head towards the pig who already had a smile on her face, while it wasn’t the large one they all knew and love - it was a start.
“Yeah. I think that’s a great idea, Bobby…! I’m sorry we couldn’t enjoy our picnic together, you two.”
Crafty was quick to wave her off once Bobby had released them. “Do not apologise for something that wasn’t your fault. Let’s clean up together and make the most of this situation!”
And that was exactly what the trio did. Leave it up to Bobby Bearhug to make a task as boring as cleanup fun. It didn’t take long, the grass had been cleared and the (crushed) basket was bundled into a ball surrounded by the picnic blanket.
“You should go catch up to Bubba, Crafty. He might have some more information. Bobby and I can take it from here?” Picky Piggy glanced towards the scarlet bear who gave a warm nod, waving off to Crafty as the pair left.
“A-.. alright! Bye!”
And there she stood, alone with the crime scene upon the sunniest hill in all of Critter Valley, unsatisfied. There had to have been an answer.
The Unicorn’s eyes fell to her sketchbook where she had documented the facts of the crime and time paused in the air around her as she pondered. There is no Critter who was close enough who had access to fire. Catnap’s Red Smoke was flammable at the worst of times.. But Crafty hadn’t seen Catnap all day..!
She turned to eye her blindspot, a single tree standing at the peak of the hill. If anyone had caused such a ruckus, they would’ve hid up that tree the moment they had heard the trio returning. And Catnap did like to nap in tree branches, proceeding to get stuck… and needing the collective of the Critters to get him down.
She marched her hooves upwards towards the oak tree spilling with leaves. Her face shining determinedly with a newfound lead and suspect, Catnap.
And surely enough, as she walked in. She did notice a flicker of flash of red hiding within the branches. She cleared her throat, hoping her words wouldn’t shake.
“Catnap… I know you’re up there. If-.. I’d just like to talk, I promise I won’t get mad at you…! Why didn’t you come down and speak to us..?”
Her question was met with a confident, condescending, cocky cackle. She jolted slightly and felt herself shrink backwards. That was not Catnap.
The branched heaved down as a figure slid further from the tree, now being sat upon the throne of leaves with a smirk gracing his jaw.
“Promise you aren’t mad at me?” He snickered, kicking his legs over one another. Crafty’s ears fell backwards as she clutched her sketchbook tightly against her chest, a flower necklace hanging over it.
“Simon Smoke!.. I should’ve known..!” But, what was the dragon doing so deep into Critter Valley? The Nightmare Critters despised the sunshine of their valley and preferred the coldness of Nightmare Hollow. The self-proclaimed King of Critters picked at his teeth with a claw, lazily flicking away nothing.
“If it ain’t the pretty little unicorn of the Smelly Critters, to what do you owe the pleasure?” He finally met her eyes, uncaring that he had just been caught. Crafty was not swayed by his compliment, nor his insult.
“Y-.. you were the one who ruined Picky’s picnic, weren’t you?” She narrowed her eyes up at him to which a scoff fell from the tree. His two sharp wings beat against the wood, not unlike a tail flicking with a slight jumpstart of excitement.
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Not that it matters, I thought you girls made other plans.” He raised a thick eyebrow down. Simon had overheard their entire conversation and didn’t bother to escape when they were all distracted. He could’ve easily gotten away with this. Why?
“Why?” Crafty had to ask. “Why did you do that? It upset her so much, surely you saw. Why did you stay? Why are you so mean?!” She stomped her hoof which earned a dismissive laugh.
“One at a time, Princess-“
“Don’t call me that!”
“… Gesundheit. But, why did I do it? You three had left the basket all by its lonesome! Surely you’ve learnt not to leave your things unattended now, right?.. I don’t care that it upset the porky thing, I eat pigs for breakfast.” He began, as if that was some kind of brag.
He continued. “As for why I stayed…” The dragon drawled. “I really doubt you could understand so I’ll dumb it down for you. I know you girls can’t be pretty and smart at the same time.”
Crafty scoffed at that.
“Now you can go chase your little elephant friend and tell him that The Nightmare Critters strike again. And again. And again.” He waved her off. Crafty lowered her head, The Nightmare Critters terror never ended. This was no different.
“But, between me and you Crafty. You’re the least fun to mess with. So, take that as you will.” He stood from the branch, stretching slightly only for it to snap and break. He didn’t fall and hit the ground with a vengeful thump. His wings took action and he now flew just above the unicorn.
“don’t lose sleep thinking about this Princess, I’d hate for you to be tossing and turning without me.” He clicked a pair of finger guns her way before taking flight high above the Valley.
Crafty just couldn’t stand that Dragon.