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That wasn’t the same Mike Will had known since kindergarten. The boy who arrived at the airport had a long hair and an outfit that was straight from a cartoon. He looked ridiculous in those sunglasses and a colorful hat. But that was only the first sign that things were not the same. It only got worse from there. Mike was avoiding Will like he had plague or something. He couldn’t even hug him properly. So, when Mike asked about the painting Will had intended to give to him, he just couldn’t. Not yet.
Will found out that Eleven had been lying to Mike and the lies only continued when they reunited. But Will didn’t want to be the one to tell the truth, at least not immediately. He wanted to speak to El first. But when things went really wrong, he had to tell Mike. And he was the one who got blamed for it. They fought and it felt like someone else had taken over his best friend’s body and spoke with his voice.
Mike later apologized and so did Will. They talked about last year, and it seemed like things could go back to how they were. Even in the midst of chaos, Will had a little bit of hope for that.
But of course, things can’t go back to the way they were. They need to find El now and escape from their own house from the watchful eyes of two agents. Jonathan said he will give them thirty minutes. That's not really a problem, since Mike never unpacked and Will has been preparing for a situation like this. So, they are both ready in a few minutes.
“Your room is cool,” Mike says while walking around and looking at his things. Will is sitting on his bed, watching everything Mike does.
Things are still not settled between them and might never be. Will wants to give him the painting. But he is suddenly very nervous. Afraid that Mike will understand what it means. Or that he won’t. Both things scare him equally.
“Thanks.”
“Wait, is this a closet, or do you have your own bathroom?” Mike asks and reaches for the door handle and the lock. He opens the inward-opening door and enters the space.
“It’s a closet,” Will answers, even though he knows Mike sees it already.
“Wow, it’s huge!”
Will gets up and follows Mike. The closet doesn’t interest him, but he needs to be one step ahead of him. Stop him from seeing or finding things he shouldn’t. Not that he has skeletons there or anything like that. But Mike doesn’t have to see everything.
“Yeah, it’s uh, practical,” Will says. He purposefully moves in front of the light switch. But Mike isn’t even searching for it yet. The light from his bedroom is enough for Mike as his head spins around like he is trying to see everything at once.
“You know, we should leave because the door can be tricky.”
“What do you mean?” Mike asks, but just then he trips over a bag and falls against the said door, closing it at the same time.
“No!” Will whines when the light is stripped from them and they are left in dark and silence.
“Ouch,” Mike complains. He doesn’t know the problem yet.
“Sorry, I fell over... something. I’m okay.”
But Will doesn’t worry about that. He is already trying to open the door, but the handle won't give in. “It’s locked.”
“Well, open it.”
“From the other side! I told you this door is tricky. If you close it hard enough, the lock locks itself. And now we are stuck!”
“Oh. Shit.”
Will slides down to the floor, burying his face on his hands. Mike is right next to him, he can feel him. And his eyes will probably adjust to the dark soon enough. But he doesn’t want that to happen. He can’t be here, not now, not alone with Mike.
“Hey, it’s okay. I’m sorry. But Jonathan will free us. He said thirty minutes, right? Which is now probably twenty or fifteen.” Mike is trying to reassure him, and it would work, if the problem was just that they are stuck here. Well, it’s part of the reason. So maybe it works a little. Will just has to survive twenty or fifteen minutes.
“Yeah.”
Will lets his hands fall on his lap, letting his eyes adjust. He can already see the outlines of his friend. He tries to breathe normally and not to overthink anything. Nothing is going to happen. So, there’s no need to be nervous.
“Are you okay?” Mike asks and touches Will’s shoulder, making Will jerk back.
“Sorry, did I scare you?”
“No... I’m... okay. Just can’t see you well.”
“Oh right. Is there a light switch or anything?” Mike asks.
Will hesitates. He is pretty sure he could find it. He knows where it is, and it isn’t even far from where they are sitting. But light isn’t exactly what this situation needs. No, the dark is better.
“Well, yeah but... I don’t want to hit my head while searching for it,” Will says. A white lie is better than trying to explain why he really doesn’t want to be seen right now.
“I can do it,” Mike offers, but before he gets up, Will grabs his wrist.
“I don’t want you to trip again. We can manage, right? Neither of us fears the dark anymore.”
“Yeah, you are right. We are not kids anymore.”
Will sighs in relief and lets go of Mike. But the statement doesn’t make him feel better. It just reminds him of what they once had, what they were, and what can’t be restored. No matter how much he wishes for it.
“No, we are not,” he agrees.
After a moment of silence, Mike speaks up. “So, how are you doing? I mean, turns out Eleven wasn’t telling me the truth, but... do you have friends here?”
The mention of El is what makes Will feel even more guilty. Here they are, trapped in a closet while El is who knows where. And Will is thinking about his stupid little feelings towards her boyfriend while she could possibly be in horrible danger. That’s just not right.
“I... well, not really. It’s just mostly me and El hanging together.” That’s not even a lie. Will hasn’t been able to make new friends. The problem isn’t that people wouldn’t like him. It’s more just the simple choice he made. Will doesn’t need new friends.
“Oh. Okay.”
“How about you?”
“Actually yeah. I’m part of a dungeons and dragons club. Hellfire Club. Doesn’t that sound rad?” Mike asks.
Will can hear the smile from his voice even when he can’t see his face. “Yeah. Rad.”
“The leader of the club, Eddie Munson, is like the coolest person I have ever met. You gotta meet him too. He is even better Dungeon Master than me!”
Will likes to hear that excitment. It’s a good reminder that even despite all what has happened, the Mike he once knew is still there, even if mostly hidden under other things. It’s a shame he wasn’t there to witness it; his friends gaining back their interest in the same thing Will almost had to beg them to care about.
“I doubt that,” Will says.
“I did too at first, but he is truly awesome. His imagination is unbelievable, and his campaigns never disappoint.”
“Okay, I’m convinced to give him a chance. But you are still my number one choice for a Dungeon master,” Will declares, making Mike laugh.
“Thanks, man. And I can’t wait. When this is over, you could come to Hawkins and play with us. Right?” There’s a hopeful tone in Mike’s voice, which makes Will feel happy and melancholic at the same time.
“Yeah. After this is over.”
“Great. You know, I wonder how we even survived without Will the Wise.”
The way Mike says it sounds so casual, and yet Will has to fight against the tears that are forming in his eyes. Cruel world indeed.
The silence comes again. Will nods, but he isn’t sure if Mike can make that out in the dark. But he doesn’t say anything. Neither of them does.
Until Mike speaks up again, this time bringing up something Will isn’t ready for.
“El said you have been working on a painting. She said you won’t let anyone see it. Is it for someone special?”
Will has to clear his throat before answering. “Actually yeah.”
Mike surprises him by bumping his shoulder against Will’s. “So? Who is it?”
For a short moment, Will actually contemplates telling him the truth. But then Mike’s last question ruins it.
“Is it for a girl?”
Will recoils away from him. The closet isn’t really that huge. Especially when they are both against the door and the space there is fit just for two, not for more. So, the distance between them isn’t as much as he would need. He doesn’t even want any space between them, not really, but that’s for the better. Besides, he is annoyed. Why does everything have to do something with girls?
“No.”
“No?”
“Why would it be?” Will asks, his tone challenging. He is aware he sounds mad. But he wants to know why Mike thinks that.
“El said it might be.”
“Right. And you believe everything she says.”
“Hey, that's not fair.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. She probably had a reason to lie to you. I wouldn’t have easily admitted being bullied either. If you had called me. Or wrote.” Will can’t help but to still be bitter about it. They talked about it, but it still was a long time without almost any contact. Will has missed Mike, and one apology won’t fix it immediately.
“I know I should have. I just... El had my whole attention. I’m really sorry,” Mike apologizes.
“Yeah well, it’s the past now.”
It’s not, but Will doesn’t feel like arguing more right now. Maybe someday Mike can make it up for him. Or maybe someday Will won’t need that anymore. Whichever happens first.
“So... who is it for?”
Will didn’t think Mike would just forget it, but he was kind of hoping that something would happen. Like Jonathan coming to interrupt and save them from here and Will from answering.
“It’s not important,” Will murmurs.
“Why? I heard you spent a lot of time on it. So, I think it matters.”
It’s not fair that Mike sounds so caring. As if he has suddenly turned into the best friend he once was for Will. The one who has always admired Will’s talent and even has a collection of drawings Will has gifted him. The one who said they could both go crazy together. The one who has always worried about him.
“It’s for a boy,” Will whispers, his voice so quiet that he barely hears it himself. Maybe he hopes that Mike won’t hear it and his slip just... doesn’t exist. He didn’t mean to say it out loud. But apparently some part of him wanted to be heard, because he said it anyway.
The silence feels heavy, as if it could swallow Will at any time. He is screwed either way, even if Mike didn’t hear him. Because his feelings and what he is are not going to change. He cannot forever stay here in this dark closet. But the thought doesn’t sound so bad. No one would ever find out what’s different about him.
Only Mike.
“So... you like boys?” Mike asks.
He heard him. And now he knows. Knows that Will is exactly what he has been accused of being.
His first instinct is to deny it. To do something. Make his last attempt to save the situation and convince Mike that there’s nothing wrong with him. That he is just like him. Capable of dating girls and maybe even getting married in the future, like he is supposed to do.
But Will knows that’s not the truth. He knows it’s wrong and that’s why he should do everything to hide it. But Mike is his best friend. It doesn’t matter that Will has wronged him, that he is the one he has these sinful feelings for. Because Mike won’t hate him for it. Right?
“Yes.”
Now he can’t undo it anymore. It’s real and Mike knows now. He doesn’t know his biggest secret though. Only his second biggest one. Maybe Mike already knew it because this is something people have been able to tell before Will even knew. It doesn’t make it any easier or any better. People who knew, or thought they knew, didn’t pat his back and encourage him. No, they were the ones who bullied him, called him slurs and made it very clear that it was wrong to be what he was.
But even if some people know what he is, it can’t hurt Mike. Because Will won’t let them know what they don’t see. And they can’t tell. Surely, they can’t. It’s one thing to tell someone’s sexuality, but to guess their crush too? That’s not easy if you hide it well.
And what Mike doesn’t know doesn’t hurt him either.
But this thing he probably knew. It’s not like it came out of nowhere. While he, Lucas and Dustin all got girlfriends, Will didn’t. Mike had said it, in his own way. And he was right. Except that maybe it is his fault Will can’t like girls. But he would never say that to him. Or blame him for it. It’s all his own fault.
“Okay.” Mike’s voice is quiet too.
For a short moment, Will is afraid that Mike will not understand. That he will just start hating him. Maybe he should, because then Will wouldn’t have any delusions. If Mike rejected him right now, he could stop dreaming about things that wouldn’t happen.
But Will doesn’t want to lose his best friend.
“Do I know him?” The question is asked with the same tone Mike would use to ask any other question. No disgust, no confusion. Just a silent acceptance and a hint of curiosity.
Will wants to cry from relief, but there’s no time. Besides, it’s not over yet.
“You know him.”
This is getting dangerously close to where it shouldn’t. But Will has been desperate for the last year. He has yearned for something he is not allowed to have, something that hasn’t even been in his reach, even if he was allowed. And now it’s closer than ever. Maybe the darkness if fooling him and making Will forget what the reality is. But it feels good to let his thoughts fly, to imagine a possibility where they would be safe and together. Nothing bad would happen if he confessed.
Mike’s hand is back on his shoulder. And Will doesn’t pull away.
“Can I know his name?”
The loud knocking on the door interrupts the whole moment. Maybe better that way, because Will was only seconds away from doing something very stupid and reckless.
“Will? Mike? Are you two there?”
Jonathan is probably the only person in the world to knock on a closet door.
“Yeah. Can you let us out? The lock trapped us.” Will is surprised that his voice works so well. He was sure for a moment that he had lost it.
“Can’t leave you two alone for a second,” Jonathan murmurs on the other side of the door, unlocking it. He opens the door and frees them. Sort of.
“Are you ready?” Jonathan asks. He watches Will and Mike get up from the floor and adjust to the light again.
“Yeah. Just... give us a few seconds, okay? We’ll come right after you,” Will says.
“Fine. Try not to get in trouble again. I’ll be in my room. Let’s go from my window.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
When Jonathan leaves, Will turns to look at Mike. He looks... different than before. Which is no wonder. But Will wants to believe nothing has changed. Not between them. At least not in a way that couldn’t be fixed.
“Can you... not tell anyone?” he asks, suddenly avoiding eye contact with him. He feels bare and vulnerable in the daylight and his huge room again. It feels like there’s nowhere to hide anymore.
“I won’t. That secret is going to stay between us,” Mike assures and to Will’s surprise, takes his hand to his. Will lifts his head and they share a look. It reminds him of all those times when they promised to keep something from everyone else. But those secrets were mostly harmless and small. This is not.
But there’s something else too, in the way Mike is looking at him. Like he understands him. As if the secret he confessed isn’t just Will’s anymore. Like it’s Mike’s too.
Because it is.