Work Text:
It is an early morning and the streetlights haven't stopped
illuminating yet the gloom of quiet streets.
You can't hear yet the anxious drivers, those
who'll soon be stuck in traffic, and so weary
with boredom and impatience, and with their constant fear
of running late. There's hardly any passer-by to meet.
Yes, early risers are a rarity, the lot of them still lounging lazily
in their cozy beds... I really do not feel like going anywhere:
I am so tired of all the studying, these assignments,
and lectures, and exams! And I can't sleep until
the 'morrow, although even if I manage, all this stuff is present
in my nightmares, like a feature film. What has
come over me all of a sudden? I am devoting all my time
to work... For what?.. Ah, for the sake of peace.
It may seem strange, but the intensive labor
distracts me from the thoughts that used to make
my life unbearable. And I am ready not to sleep at all:
I'd rather tire myself, in mind and body. Above all,
this anguish, like a starless night, won't touch
my soul. Well, truth be told, I like (oh, jesus-fucking-christ!)
to burrow endlessly into a pile of these notebook pages...
Unreasonable glee has seized me... It's all for the best:
I feel much better. And perchance, a cure for these feelings
is close at hand – I'll take, at last, a deep breath freely,
without this ache within?.. Could've gotten to the place on time.
No, not for lectures: I leave home too early, but I don't
prefer arriving late, when our 'shrine of learning' is
already packed full with the rabble, burning
the midnight oil, as usual. And there're people everywhere,
and such a bedlam of activity, as if the rector
had issued a decree for a surprise exam period –
and everybody suddenly went nuts, cuz their fate
was gonna be decided so abruptly... But it would,
of course, be better to be there early – everyone is still
asleep and dreaming: meanwhile, in the gloomy tunnels
of corridors there's not a soul, the silence
is such, that it seems as though you have fallen into
an alternate world, where you'll never meet another mortal – here,
the very walls breathe calmly, as if only a few hours ago
there'd been no hustle, no wild laughter, no serious talks and
chit-chat about everything and nothing all at once...
The Promised Land!.. And though, already at this early hour,
this sleepy peace is chased away from walls,
auditoriums. The hell begins anew. We must endure...
Hmm, is the horizon already bright like that?! Well, damn!
Again I'll have to walk in the illumination
not of the city lights, but of the golden sun
that shyly and self-consciously is rising
behind the buildings. All these denizens again!
Ah, everyone's so fussy – waiting at the busstops
for their busses and marshrutkas. They're so naive!
They hope to make it to their jobs, despite all this?
The snarl-ups are miles long!.. What do I care?
I really need to go and stop all this procrastinating:
oh, jeez, I'm late – run, Forrest, run! –
my first class of the day starts any minute now...