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. - ~ * ' "I Love You More Than Myself.." ' * ~ - .
It was a summer afternoon, and everyone was either out of the country or out on the beach, enjoying the hot sun with a cooling beverage or something cold like a some ice cream.
This was the time where you enjoyed taking care of your garden.
It had different types from flower, from roses to lilies.. you even grew some fruits like strawberries - that are just in the summer season.
You always had to wake up early to water everything and get things done before heading to school, but thankfully, instead of focusing on your studies, you can now focus on your garden.
It was all colourful with variants of flowers, fruits.. you name it.
But, before the summer began, you were approached by Monika.
You didn't really know what she wanted before giving you a note, swearing you saw some faint blush on her cheeks while smiling shyly.
The note was folded, but what stood out to you that it was bright pink, a colour that only is used if you were trying to confess to someone (at least, that what you've interpreted with such colour).
You silently accepted the note, staring at it first before slowly opening up as Monika watched.
She seemed.. a bit nervous as you were reading her note.
Monika had her hands behind her back, probably fidgeting with her hands.
Once you've examined the entire letter, you've realised that.. Monika had just confessed to you.
No wonder why she was feeling nervous.. you had thought while both you and her locked eyes.
Monika smiled. "So.." she began, her slight anxious demeanour was so out-of-character of her, yet it fit her quite well weirdly.
"What do you think?" Monika asked.
You had realised that you sort of just.. zoned out. Not being able to comprehend that someone had just asked you out, although you couldn't help but smile, no matter how much you tried to supress it.
"...I'd.. love to go out with you.." you replied softly.
And now, you're in front of the mirror, a daisy flowered-patterned dress, red shoes that had white polka-dots on them while you let your hair down.
You've started growing your hair around... eight (8), maybe ten (10) years ago?
Of course, there were times when you've had to cut it short, but now, your hair is shoulder-length, which it was perfect.
You also were wearing some bracelets that ere given to you by some friends on your birthday, which you've appreciated and kept ever since. and now, it's the best excuse to wear them!
...
You felt.. happy, but.. you couldn't help but feel some doubt.
Your heart felt a little heavy at the thought of why Monika asked you out of all people in their school.
She could've done better, couldn't she? A thought that began to linger in your mind.
You bit down your lip, looking down.
It's a waste of time.. you thought before hearing a doorbell ringing.
Monika!
It was Monika who was at the door, waiting for you.
You picked up the fresh, red roses that you've picked from your garden and went out of your room, down the stairs so you could open the door for Monika.
But you stared at your hand that was holding onto the doorknob as such thoughts circled around your mind. A slight hesitation was building up in you, wondering if it's the right choice.
For now, you pushed those thoughts aside, and opened the door.
And there she was, Monika.
She had a short-sleeved, white plain dress with her hair tied up with her white bow.
Despite her outfit being quite simple, it did the job. It also complimented her emerald-eyes really well.
You couldn't help but stare, it was like a dream come true. You always admired Monika from afar, but now, you can do it up close.
"I'm glad that you've accepted my confession." Monika smiled. You nodded, shyly responding, "O.. Of course."
It was sort of a silly thing to say out loud, but Monika truly will treasure the day that her love was accepted.
For her, she never was really interested in anyone.
Was is because of her busy schedule, or maybe she never found someone who caught her eye? Provably both.
So, when you've accepted Monika's confession, it was a big deal for her.
Monika narrowed her eyes, noticing those red roses that you've been holding to your side.
"Those roses look beautiful, by the way." Monika pointed out, to which you've subconsciously straightened yourself.
It was a habit that you've developed when you were much younger when you were dealing with a lot of anxiety.
Despite not being as bad, becoming all stiff is something that had stuck with you.
"A-Ah-- yes!" You then held out the flowers, feeling your cheeks becoming warm. "I've.. specifically chose them for you from my garden.."
Monika gave you a soft look, those eyes looking at you lovingly.
"You're just so kind, (Name)."
Accepting the flowers, Monika kept them close while holding them gently, making sure that none of the petals would fall.
The roses were as fresh as they came, clearly taken care of like someone who knew what they were doing.
The roots were cut off, yet clean to get any dirt off from the bottom.
Monika looked up at you, about to thank you again before studying your.. sudden anxious expression.
It looks like you were having some form of doubts, which made the literature president worry.
"..Are you alright, (Name)?" Monika asked, "Is there something on your mind, by any chance?"
You glanced at Monika, fidgeting your dress while debating if you should tell her, tell Monika about such thoughts that are going through your mind a thousand miles per hour.
It would've been such a bad start on a first date, you thought. And the thoughts are racing around your mind again.
You exhaled shakily, opening your mouth, deciding to at least tell Monika partially what was on your mind.
"I just.. don't understand." You started, although it made Monika more confused.
"What don't you understand?" She asked, as you just continued to speak.
"Wel.. I, just don't understand how you could choose me out of everyone else at the school." You looked down, not wanting to look at Monika while speaking.
"I almost never talk and even if I do it's only when I have to. I'm always viewed as the 'trans kid', and all i want is to be seen as a regular girl. Like a normal human being."
You felt a bit out of control, feeling like you need to get this information out of your chest.
You want to stop, you have to stop. But you can't. Your mouth continued to speak for you, and your thoughts weren't even being thought by you anymore.
"I.. I don't even know why you chose me.. when you can clearly have someone better.."
Silence fell upon the two, you felt like now Monika would look at you different, with pity and sorrow like some poor kid.
But, that's not what you saw when you had glanced at Monika.
She was smiling softly, and giving you a gentle look. An understanding one, not a look of sorrow.
"Oh, (Name)," Monika said gently, walking up to you bit-by-bit, then holding onto your cheek with her free hand to make you look at her.
That look.. something you can't describe, but it's something familiar. Something that you always wanted someone to look at you.
"I wanted to go out with you because you were able to come out of your comfort zone. Because i see you becoming a new person each year." Monika began to explain.
"You have your flaws, and I have mine. Humans aren't perfect, but that's okay. I like that about human-beings, we're flawless, and that's apart of human nature."
Monika soon gave a small kiss on the tip of your nose, to which had surprised you.
When you were all red to the face, just like those roses you gave Monika, she couldn't help but find it adorable.
Although, you thought about what Monika had just said. But you didn't say anything at the moment, you just gave a small nod with a smile.
It's something that you needed to hear, something that you didn't know that you wanted to hear.
The warmth of Monika's hand on your cheek and her words had run through your body, making you feel good at the moment.
"Plus.." Monika started to add, "I think I love you than I love myself."
You just rolled your eyes at Monika's comment, then gave a small chuckle to which Monika did the same.
Both of you just look at each other lovingly, smiling to each other like they were the only two people in the world at the moment.
"..Thank you, Monika.."
"Anytime, my love."