Chapter Text
Once upon a time there was this beautiful man named Osamu Dazai who was kinda a whore but we don't see that and his long criminal record for his long sclong is what most of the fandom goes crazy for including me
One day Dazai was sitting at chuck e cheese when he suddenly got depression because he's a very emo character and he sighed very loudly like petite y/n girly and pushed back his long messy locks and wished someone sold him to one direction but unfortunately his only adoptive father had kicked the bucket so now he was just pretty, depressed and pretty depressed 😔😔
"Oh how I wish I had a tall alpha CEO male daddy wolf to take care of me..." He sighed
Suddenly a very tall handsome blond beautiful green eyed gorjulicious broad shouldered man walked in with the aura of a thousand sung Jin woos and walked up to our petite main character
"You have beautiful eyes kitten and you're not like other boys" said the daddy man called Kunikida Doppo.
He was so hot that the sun took inspo from him. He was so hot that Dazai instantly knew this man would be his hot male lead past present and future.
Unfortunately another male lead walked in at that time and this man was very short but handsomest af with gorjus locks that were as red as kunikidas ass when you slap it and with eyes as blue as the harpic bathroom cleaner, with skin as pale as the average racist man was chuuya nakarhara.
Chuuya there money at Kunikidas face "leave this kitten alone this is MY discord baby kitten pookie schmookie" but Kunikidas aura low-key blocked the money throw.
Meanwhile Dazai was just watching with big eyes that which of the alpha male leads would win him over but he felt very overwhelmed because it was his usual gooning time to jacked up Lord Farqwuaad posters so he ran home
"Sigh who should I choose?" He sighed, sighing as he sighed. To vent his anger and frustration he yelled and kicked the bed post but since he's a weak ass iron deficiency(mwah I love you my bestie) he just got hurt so he screamed but this time like a bitch.
He decided to call and vent to his best friend Fyodor Dostoevsky but it was a little hard to speak to him due to the language barrier due to the little Russian rat communicating in just Russian
"Hey bro two alphas are after me I just don't know who to choose!" Sighed Dazai, sighing as he sighed as he sighed sighingly
"Vodka, bro, rasputin gyatt frfr" replied Fyodor in his smooth voice which was reminiscent of baby oil
"It's a big deal, because they're very beautiful and both are loaded but kunikidas aura is awesome..." sighed Dazai, walking around and putting his right hand in his left pocket.
"Bernadette vodka bear fight. Brrrr"
"Thanks for nothing bro"
"sukya blyat"
*ANYWAYS FOLKS THATS ALL FOR TODAY FIND OUT WHO DAZAI CHOOOSES IN THE NEXT CHAPTER*