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Steve was pretty sure that Danny’s silence on the way home wasn’t a good thing. He’d never seen Danny at a loss for words like that before, but then he’d never admitted his past employment to anyone either. He had been eighteen and pissed off at the entire world, he wanted to join the Navy and he would, but in the last school holidays before he slipped seamlessly into the adult world he had taken the one marketable skill he had and turned it into more money than he knew what to do with. His aunt had been teaching him dancing since he had been thrust into her care, to be truthful outside of the regimented learning he received at school that had been his favorite part of his time with them.
It wasn’t that he was ashamed of what he had done that summer; it was just something he never spoke about. He hadn’t even thought to tell Danny because it had never come up. Sure Danny gushed about his past, his family, his sports and any number of peripheral things but that wasn’t Steve’s way. He was the one who didn’t speak. Not Danny. Silence and Danny together really didn’t usually mean fluffy puppies and sunshine. So, when he parked the car in its usual place in his driveway, he turned in his seat to look at Danny.
“What have I done?” he asked softly.
“Nothing, babe.” Danny murmured. “Nothing at all.”
“Then why the silent treatment.”
“I’m just savoring the image of tonight’s revelations.” Danny turned to look at him, “Why have I never heard about this before?”
“I thought you were pissed at me.” Steve stated, suddenly annoyed, he opened his door and walked up the path to the front door.
Danny watched him silently for a moment then clambered out of the car and followed Steve quickly, narrowly missing having the door shut in his face.
“Ok. Now what have I done?” Danny threw his keys on the coffee table as he scanned the room for his partner.
“Nothing. Alright. Not a goddamn thing.” Steve called from upstairs as he stepped out onto the landing.
“Then why are you pissed at me?” Danny asked holding his hands out in supplication.
“I don’t know.” Steve yelled. “Alright. I don’t fucking know.” He turned into his bedroom and slammed the door.
Danny watched his brows furrowed in confusion, walking slowly up the stairs he knocked on Steve’s door.
“Can I come in?” he asked quietly.
“No.” Steve’s muffled voice filtered out to him.
“Dammit, Steve. I expect this crap from Grace….” His voice trailed off as it hit him that his baby girl was still unconscious in a hospital bed and here they were fighting over trivial shit. He struggled to choke back tears he hadn’t shed in weeks. His hand rested on the door jamb as his other hand scrubbed across his face. He couldn’t afford to lose Steve now; Danny was just hanging on by a thread no matter how easy it looked to outsiders.
The door in front of Danny opened. Steve stood there, all 6’1” strong muscled navy SEAL and he looked broken. His face filled with sorrow.
“I’m sorry, D.” he snaked his arms around Danny’s waist and pulled their bodies close together. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“It’s okay, Steve.” Danny slipped his arms around Steve’s waist and rested his head against the firm chest muscles.
“No it’s not.” Steve shook his head, resting his lips against Danny’s hair, “I don’t understand why she won’t wake up.”
“I don’t know.” Danny spoke against Steve’s chest. “They say that it could happen any moment, they can’t explain it.” He paused briefly, “All I know is I have to believe that she will wake up.”
“I find myself wanting to tell her things, every time I see something she’d like to see, I tell her everything I can remember about it when I talk to her at night.”
“She’d like that.” Danny pulled away from his lovers embrace and looked up at him. “Are we good?”
“Yeah.” Steve leaned down to cup Danny’s chin in one large hand to tilt his face towards his own. “I’m sorry.” He pressed his lips against Danny’s for a soft lingering kiss. “You know I’d do anything to bring her back.”
“I know, we just have to wait until she’s ready.” Danny pulled out of Steve’s arms. “Listen, it’s been a long day, I’m going to go to bed, I’m bushed.”
“Are you sure we’re good?” Steve frowned.
“We’re fine, Babe, I’m just tired.” Danny assured him before he stepped past Steve and into the bedroom.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Steve walked across the landing and into the bedroom that Grace used when she stayed here. He wandered briefly around the room, his fingertips trailing across the tops of the toys that Gracie kept here. He picked up Dolphin Trainer Annie and sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees as he brushed the dolls hair absently between his fingers.
He didn’t know what else to do. Grace had to wake up soon, he was slowly unraveling, and he could already see his own concerns and indecision was not engendering confidence in his abilities with the Governor. And then there was Danny. Danny the one who was suffering the most from his fuck up, the one who missed his little girl like he was missing one of his own limbs, and he was hurting him too.
Sure there had been kisses, and cuddling, but Steve couldn’t make himself go any further. He hadn't even been turned on since the accident, no matter what Danny had done. He didn’t know why, it was like Grace was gone and he both couldn’t bring himself to care about himself, or be part of anything that made him happy. He knew that what had happened to Grace wasn’t his fault, but that didn’t stop him feeling responsible. Danny was right, he was reckless and dangerous and catastrophe followed close behind him.
He wanted nothing more than to go into his bedroom and curl up beside Danny, waiting until Danny looped his arms around him and pulled him in close against his body.
Instead he lifted the folded blanket off the seat in the corner of Grace’s room and carried them downstairs. Settling on the sofa, the squishy cushion under his ear, the thin blanket over his body, he lay there for what seemed like hours. Long enough to hear Danny come out of the bedroom to check on him and walk back into the bedroom closing the door quietly behind him.