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Standing outside the building, Steve squinted into the sun, while he waited. Malingering on the hot pavement was not Steve’s idea of a good time. He checked his watch for the fifth time in the last two minutes. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and started to send a text message.
“Oh put it away, Commander.” Rachel tut-tutted him as she stopped in front of him. Her copper hair was perfectly coiffed, her clothes crisp and fresh, despite the fact that everyone else looked like they were melting.
“Excuse me?” he looked up from the phone distractedly.
“I can only assume that you were about to text me,” she looked at the delicate gold watch on her wrist. “Hasn’t anyone ever told you that you should expect a woman to be five minutes late.”
“I was just texting the office there was some paperwork I need them to forward on to HPD for me.” Steve shrugged, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.
“You don’t need to lie to me, Commander.” Rachel beckoned him to follow as she walked into the restaurant, her fashionable heels tapping quickly on the tiled floor of the restaurant foyer. “Don’t tarry, Steven.”
Steve stood there for a fraction of a second, his head tilted slightly to the side like a confused puppy before he fell into step behind Rachel.
Rachel was ushered into the restaurant, the maître d addressing her personally and directing her to a booth in the corner that Rachel requested, presumably for the privacy it would afford them.
“I’m not going to bite, Commander.” Rachel looked up at him as he hovered by the booth.
“What’s this about, Rachel?” he asked uncomfortable with having a private audience with his lover’s ex-wife.
“Just sit with me for a moment, Steven, we can have a nice lunch and you can chat with me for a little bit.”
“With all due respect, Rachel, I have a task force to run. That I should be running.”
“And I checked with Daniel before I spoke to you this morning. He said you have no pressing cases.”
“That’s true, but….” Steve started to explain.
“Just sit down, Commander, this is important.” Rachel smiled softly up at him, “For Grace?”
Steve swallowed the hard lump of emotion that choked him at the mention of Grace’s name and slid into the booth opposite Rachel.
“Thank you.” Rachel murmured as a waitress handed them each a menu.
“That was a low blow. You know I’d do anything for her.” Steve spoke, looking at the menu but not even seeing the page through the sheen of tears that was never far away these days.
“I know.” Rachel answered softly, “But to be honest, you make it difficult to play fair.”
“We spoke last night at the hospital.” Steve shrugged.
“I am aware of that, Commander.” Rachel nodded. “Just as I am aware that you are barely eating, and you’re sleeping on the sofa.”
Steve’s head snapped up to look at her, his brow furrowed, his lips pressed together in an angry line. There was only one place she could have gotten that information.
“He had no right to tell you that.” Steve spoke from between clenched teeth.
“He didn’t.” Rachel reached a hand across the table to press her fingers comfortingly along Steve’s “But you just did.”
“How did you know?” Steve murmured, looking over her shoulder and into the traffic on the street outside the restaurant.
“You’re losing weight, Steve.” She smiled almost apologetically, “And I just get the impression you’re closing yourself off from everyone and everything. I get that it hurts Steve, but closing yourself off won’t stop the hurt. And because I know that you would never evict Daniel from the bed you share, and I know that you couldn’t sleep in Grace’s bed, the only other option is the sofa.”
“You should be in five-0.” He laughed depreciatingly at himself. “How did Danny ever hide anything from you?”
“I don’t want a job, thank you anyway, and he couldn’t hide a thing. You should ask him some time. But that is nonsense. I can see you’re in pain. It’s killing you, we can all see that. Much more and it’s going to make you relationship with Daniel implode. It doesn’t take much to see the signs.” Rachel waved away their waitress as she drifted back to take their order.
“I have no right to it.” Steve shrugged. Leaning back in the booth he tilted his head up to look at the ceiling of the restaurant.
“No right to what?”
“Pain.” Steve spoke plainly.
“Why would that be?” Rachel frowned.
“Because I don’t, I’m nothing to Grace. You and Danny are the ones that should be grieving. Not me. I’m just the man who put her in danger.” Steve spoke unable to stop the slight tremor in his chin as he did.
“Bollocks!” Rachel slapped the back of his hand as she spoke. “You are just as important to her as Danny and I, more important than my Stanley even. That little girl loves you as much as she loves her Danno. She would be hurt that you think that you are nothing to her.”
Steve leaned forward; resting his elbows on the table he buried his face in his hands. “I should be supporting you and Danny, not the two of you pandering to me. I’ve never felt like this before. Even when my father died. It’s tearing me up inside, and I don’t know how to stop it.”
Rachel sat there for a long moment, watching as a tear dripped onto the tablecloth between Steve’s elbows.
“Oh Steven.” She exclaimed gently, slipping out of her side of the booth, she slid in beside him and pressed her hand on his thigh, stroking the taut muscle soothingly as Steve pulled himself together.
“I don’t know what to tell you. It’s hard, truly it is, and maybe it would have been better for you if you had been awake for those first two weeks. Maybe if you’d seen all of us how you are now it would have been easier for you. The hospital, they had written you off, they were just keeping you as comfortable as they could while waiting for you to just give up and die.”
Rachel took a deep breath, closing her eyes briefly as she remembered that time. “Chin stood sentinel over you at the start, but as soon as Danny pulled himself together? He wouldn’t let you. The two very most important people in his world were knocking on Death’s door and he wasn’t having a piece of it. He did every mortal thing he could to keep you tethered to him, to us. And as we watched you get better, it was like we had an epiphany. If you could be as damaged as you were and come back to us our Gracie who never even broke a bone? She would come back to us just like you did.”
“How can you know that?” Steve spoke from between his hands.
“Steven, you’re not alone anymore. Why don’t you understand that? Things are different now. You have family. We know that because we knew you would come back. We know she will. We have faith in each other, Steven.” Rachel spoke softly.
“You really believe that don’t you?” Steve turned his head to look into Rachel’s face.
“Yes. And Daniel does too.” Rachel handed him the napkin she held in her hand as she spoke.
“How can you both know that?” Steve held the napkin like a lifeline as he asked.
“Because you did, you fought your way back. She’s going to find her way back too. You are her hero, Steven, just you and she would do anything for you.”
Steve choked back the sob that was stuck on his heart, which had somehow lodged itself in his throat. “You know I can face a battalion of armed soldiers without fear, but the thought of anything else happening to that little girl terrifies me.” His snort of laughter sounded more like a sob. “Some hero I am, before this I can’t remember the last time I cried, but lately every single day, something has me struggling not to cry like a baby.”
“It will get better, Commander, I promise you.” Rachel murmured. Patting his thigh reassuringly she slid out of the booth.
Rachel, affording him a moment of privacy, slid into her side of the booth and lifted the menu, perusing her dining options again. Pretending not to watch him surreptitiously pull himself back together again as she waited.
“I’m sorry.” Steve spoke as he lifted his face to smile, embarrassed, at Rachel.
“Never apologize for emotions, Commander, they are honest and pure. We don’t need to be stoic all the time.”
“Still, I seem to be making a habit of it.” Steve shrugged.
“I think things will get a little better now.” She nodded reaching across the table and stroking Steve’s hand encouragingly. “Now, what do you say that we have some lunch now? I’d hate to see my ex-husband lose interest in the best partner he’s had since me.”
“Did he say that?” Steve’s eyes flew to Rachel’s face trying to verify the truth in her statement.
“Calm down, Commander.” Rachel’s laugh was soft and musical and stole the tension from Steve’s shoulders, “We haven’t spoken about it, but I do know that everybody on this island knows exactly how smitten with each other the two of you are.”
“I’m not smitten.” Steve corrected her indignantly. “You make me sound like a Victorian princess.”
“No of course you’re not.” Rachel smiled coyly as she beckoned for the waitress.
After the young woman had left with their choices penciled onto her docket book and a glass of wine each, Rachel lifted her glass and took a sip before speaking again.
“I want you to do something for me, Steven.” She stated plainly, a twinkle in her eyes.
“Anything I can.” Steve nodded, lifting his glass to his lips, starting to feel like a butterfly pinned to a board for Rachel’s examination.
“When we’ve had lunch, I want you to go and find Daniel, take him home and have lots of gratuitous wild monkey sex with him.”
Steve almost spat his wine all over the table as he heard what Rachel said.
“I’m sorry? What?” Steve spluttered, lifting his napkin to wipe the wine from his face.
“Judging from your reaction I’m sure you heard me, Steven.” Rachel smiled.
“I can’t believe you just said that.” Steve’s eyes scanned the room looking for anyone who had heard.
“Honestly, Steven, it’s just sex, it’s good for you, and Daniel is very good at it.”
“Im not sure I’m comfortable speaking with you about this, Rachel.” Steve responded
“Oh, Bollocks, Commander.” Rachel answered. “We’ve both fornicated with the man, there’s no need to be shy.”
“I’m pretty sure I can think of a dozen reasons.” Steve muttered.
“Daniel is very resourceful, as I’m sure you already know.” Rachel spoke as the waitress placed Rachel’s starter in front of her. “What you don’t know is that his ‘talent’s’ can be very distracting. You need some distraction. What better way? I could tell you some of the more elaborate things he can do.” she smiled sweetly as the waitress placed Steve’s starter in front of him and walked away from the table.
“If I agree, can we not talk about this anymore?” Steve’s eyes darted around the room trying to decide if anyone was close enough to hear this conversation.
“Certainly.” Rachel smiled. “Just give me your word and I’ll never mention it again. I know you are nothing if not a man of honor, so I know that I can trust your word.”
“Fine. I give you my word.” Steve gritted out through clenched teeth. “Happy?”
“Ecstatic, Commander.” Rachel turned attention on her salad, spearing a cherry tomato with gusto. “Ecstatic!”