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When Dave had first suggested being the designated driver right before they left for Serket’s party, he’d been aware of the consequences. Drunk people being driven home, videotaped moments that would be Youtube fame-worthy, possible actions against or on his person that would leave the aggressor regretting ever drinking in a Strider’s presence- that whole thing. Of course, since he knew that John wasn’t a lightweight, he’d thought that he could have at least one person to talk (a.k.a. ramble) to on the way home who’d keep him awake. But no. No, of course not. John never made things easy.
John had, apparently, made it his intent to get smashed when they were invited to the party. He’d have thought that it had something to do with Serket being his ex, and how he’d been blatantly invited over to her house, but it was no dirt off his shoulders if Dave had to guess from the way they were interacting even before anyone got sloshed from the cheap beer. They were grinning at each other, hanging out still, and if he had to guess from how John wasn’t making a move on her, he’d moved on.
That, and John was (possibly) hitting on him. Very badly, if he might add.
“Dave, have I ever- ever told you that I love you? Even though you’re a bit of a dick who can’t shut up,” John slurs while simultaneously trying to curl in on himself- all while being held back by his seatbelt.
Dave doesn’t know if he should laugh or slap himself in the face. So this was the full effect of alcohol on John? Affectionate but still painfully honest? He’d have thought John would be the type to fall fast asleep.
“Am I supposed to take that as an insult or a compliment, because I can’t tell from the intonation of your disgustingly nasally voice,” Dave says in return, keeping his eyes on the road while glancing at John as he straightens up in his seat. (Fortunately, he’d already dropped Jade and Rose off at Kanaya’s place, so he’d only have to endure one drunken person for the evening.)
“I love you,” John groans this time, craning his head back so he’s staring at the car’s ceiling. “Do I look like I say that often?”
“You seem the type to say it to your Dad a lot, you daddy’s boy,” Dave teases, before laughing when John immediately punches him in the shoulder in retaliation. “And here I thought you loved me.”
“I do, but you’re still an asshole,” John supplies as an answer.
“An attractive asshole, at least?”
“An attractive asshole,” John agrees, head lolling to the side, before settling once he turns his face so he’s looking directly at Dave. “Very, very attractive. For an asshole.”
“Keep saying asshole and I might doubt your heterosexual tendencies, John,” Dave says in turn, before stifling a squeak when John’s hand is suddenly on his thigh. “Whoa there, what did I just say about heterosexual tendencies?”
“Doesn’t mean I need to- to always be a het’rosexual,” John argues lamely, before pulling his hand back and folding his arms across his chest in annoyance. “Could I always be a het- heterosexual if I’m in love with you?” John turns to look at him again with a raised eyebrow, although the effect isn’t as full-on considering how his eyes are half-lidded and hazy. “Unless you have girl parts that I don’t know about.”
“Nope, still have my cream-filled crotch rocket on me,” Dave says, hiding a smile when John starts laughing. Honestly, how could he even take John seriously like this?
“Thought it was your spam porpoise,” John comments, before lurching forward a bit when Dave parks his car by their dorm. “Ugh, don’t do that.” He groans, shaking his head slowly, before fumbling at his seatbelt. “God-goddamnit.”
“Sorry,” Dave says with a grin, laughing when John slaps him none too lightly on the arm. “No love, Egbert. No love.”
“I just told you that I love you, how many times do I have to say it? Now help me out,” John grumbles, before becoming silent when Dave reaches over and unlatches his seatbelt for him. “You’re actually useful for something, thank god.”
“You keep saying you love me, but it’s all a lie.” Dave rolls his eyes when John stumbles out of the car. “Real graceful work there, John,” he says, snickering when John flips the finger at him. He shuts the door on his side once he’s out, making sure that the car is locked nicely, before heading over to John’s side and sliding an arm around his waist. “Think you can handle me helping you out like this, or should I carry you? I don’t mind, princess.”
“This is fine, sweet cheeks,” John slurs, bumping his hip into Dave’s, before snickering when the blond bumps back. “Come on, I want to get to bed. With you, preferably. Minus the clothes.”
“You’re a regular smooth operator, aren’t ya?” Dave says, keeping John up halfway as they stumble into the building and move on to the stairs. “Just remember that we’re only on the second floor,” he tries to soothe, before bursting into soft laughter when John makes a face and groans. “Too much for you?”
“Can handle this, so shut up and stop being a little shit,” John huffs, wrapping his own arm around Dave’s waist and squeezing in warning. “I can totally overpro-overpower you even when I’m pissed.”
“I’m so scared,” Dave deadpans, before slowly starting to help John up the stairs one step at a time. “Think of this as motivation, John. You get a kiss if you fall over.”
“That’s not motivational, you douche,” John retorts, almost stumbling, before Dave catches him with the arm wrapped tightly around his waist. “I want a kiss if I can get up the stairs without throwin’ up along the way.”
“Fine then,” Dave says, smirking when John slowly starts to walk with less effort on Dave’s part to keep him up. “A kiss when you get back to my dorm in one piece. You better be thankful that Kar’s at his parents’ house so you can have full access to the now free bed.”
“Who- uh- who says that I’m sleeping in Karkat’s bed?” John says, groaning when he notices more steps in front of him. “I’m sleeping with you.”
“Arrogant of you to think that I’d say yes to that,” Dave jokes. “Do I look that easy?”
“No, but you can’t say no to me,” John counters, laughing at the surprised look on Dave’s face. “What, y’think I wouldn’t notice? You love me, Dave.”
“Arrogant and delusional, you’re just asking to be a case for Rose’s Psych class,” Dave says, breathing a sigh of relief once they finally reach the second floor. “Thank jesus we’re close to the stairs.”
“That, and the girl runnin’ this place is sort of biased when it’s your roomie you’re talking ‘bout. Don’t even lie. I know it, ‘cause Vriska tells me.” John huffs, leaning into Dave as the blond starts shuffling for the key in his pocket. “H’rry up, feel like puking.”
“Hold your horses there, buckaroo,” Dave says, finally whipping out his key and slotting it in, unlocking the door before struggling as he maneuvers himself inside with John still in one arm. “Come on, bathroom’s over there.” He heaves in a breath as he leads John to the sole bathroom in their dorm room, his hand sliding up to settle on the brunet’s shoulder as he (John) falls to his knees and starts worshipping the porcelain goddess. Gross.
“This is the reason why I don’t like drinking,” Dave offers as an opinion. John slaps his leg in response. “What? It’s not even worth it, getting sick like this afterwards. Dunno why you guys like it so much.”
“It’s ‘cause it helps you forget,” John croaks out, “and it boosts your confidence and stupidity a little bit.” Dave snorts in amusement at that, before heading out of the bathroom. “Hey, where are yo- oh,” he sighs as Dave returns and hands him a glass of water, “thanks.”
“Drink slowly,” Dave says, kneeling beside John and rubbing at his back as he drinks. “Think you can handle brushing your teeth, or do I have to do that for you too?”
“If I brush my teeth, will you let me kiss you?” John asks solemnly, holding the glass of water down on his lap.
Well. He is pretty drunk. (Never mind the fact that Dave definitely wouldn’t mind kissing John- although he’d prefer they both be sober if it ever happens. Which it won’t. Because John isn’t gay in even the slightest bit.)
“Sure,” Dave agrees, if only to appease John. “So, think you can handle it?”
“Yeah, s’re I can, go take a nap,” John says, making shooing motions with his hand before he grabs the spare (his) toothbrush from Dave’s mug by the sink, filling up his now empty glass with tap water before moving to brush his teeth. Dave stares as John goes through the motions, the brunet having stayed enough at his place to have a routine. “Shtup starin ‘nd go ‘way,” John grumbles as he glares weakly at Dave. “Shoo.”
“I’m going, I’m going,” Dave sighs in exasperation, holding both hands up in surrender before turning around and heading over to his bed, plopping down gracelessly as he hums and closes his eyes. A short nap would be nice, really. Full sleep would be even better.
But he’s not doing that unless John is done cleaning himself up, because seriously. Does he look like the type of guy to leave his best bro alone when he’s obviously drunk off his ass?
P.S. He’s not.
He grunts as he shifts until he’s comfortable on his back, head raised slightly by a pillow as he says, “There’s some shirts in the closet that I think might fit you, you can just grab something from there after you’re done with your bath.” He’s been with John long enough to know that, once he’s begun his routine with brushing his teeth, he’ll want to take a bath. Which is to Dave’s advantage, really.
“Need help,” John answers in turn, the sound of the spigot turning off signaling that John’s done with brushing his teeth. “Can’t- I hate my pants. And my life. I hate you for not coming here. Dave.”
“Demanding, demanding,” Dave sniffs, hiding a snort of laughter when he enters the bathroom and finds John staring up at him from the floor. “The hell did you do?”
“Tried getting’ m’pants off, got too lazy,” John grumbled, tugging half-heartedly at his pants again. “Help.”
“This is real stupid, even for you,” Dave says, smirking when John stumbles as he gets up. “Here,” he sighs, reaching out to unbutton and unzip John’s pants, because that’s totally cool for a bro to do, before pulling the brunet’s pants down to his thighs, letting go once it’s loose on John’s legs so it falls into a pool under John’s feet. “Done. Now, do I still need to accompany you into the bathtub?”
“Yes,” John answers quickly, turning blue eyes wide up at him, before losing the fight and letting his eyes turn hazy again with inebriation. “Yeah, that’d be great.”
“Am I your butler now? I wasn’t notified.” Dave rolls his eyes, before leaning over to reach the faucet to the bathtub and opening it, letting warm water flow into the tub. “Sit your sweet ass down on the toilet while the tub’s filling up,” he says to John, not once turning, as such not noticing how blue eyes have blatantly set their sights on his ass.
“Your ass is nicer,” John says after a few beats of silence, to which Dave promptly chokes on air.
“I beg to disagree,” Dave replies, ignoring the flush threatening to break out on his face when he notices John staring at him from his peripheral vision. Keep it cool, Strider.
“Seeing you beg would be the day.” John snickers, feet swinging idly as he sits on the covered toilet bowl. “I like your ass. S’nice. Makes me want to touch it.”
“I’d dare you to do it, but then again, you actually might,” Dave says, sighing for dramatic effect, “I don’t know what I’d do then once you’ve taken my ass-touch-virginity.”
“I’d take responsibility.”
Dave raises an eyebrow. “Is that a line from an animé?”
“Shut up.”
“Water’s done,” Dave digresses with ease, stepping aside to let John get into the tub. He pauses when he notices John staring up at him from the tub. “What?”
“Get in,” John commands, completely serious as he keeps to one side of the tub, an arm around the edge.
This doesn’t hit any of Dave’s kinks at all. Really.
“You’re so bossy tonight, Egbert,” Dave says, before obediently stripping himself of his clothing (including his shades) and settling on the other side of the tub, smiling wryly when he notices that it’s a tight fit. He does find John hot, sure, but he knows well enough than to pop a boner while they’re both naked. He can control himself.
“Rose tells me you like it,” John says after a long while of silence. Dave has to do a double-take to understand what John means. “You do, don’t you?”
“I- uh. You should really take Rose’s information about me with a grain of salt. Because she over-analyzes things, obviously.”
“But she’s right most of the time,” John points out, grinning when Dave subtly slumps in on himself in defeat, the action unnoticeable to someone who isn’t used to Dave’s minimal gestures. “You like it when you’re ordered around.”
“Bro fucked me up,” Dave admits, raising an eyebrow when John starts squinting at him. “Something wrong with my face?”
“No. Your face is perfect. Perfectly fine,” John says, his eyes following Dave’s every move as he gets the soap and starts rubbing himself with it. “Uh.”
“I know that I’m hot, but keep your mouth closed,” Dave snorts, finishing up on his side before handing over the soap to John. “Here.”
“Thanks,” John mumbles, turning his eyes down as he starts lathering himself in the suds, before adding, “not like I can help it.”
“Help what, exactly?” Dave asks, eyes turned away from John’s gaze as he starts washing himself off quickly.
“That you’re hot. Nothing I can do about that,” John grumbles as though Dave has personally offended him with his being attractive.
Dave laughs, and takes the compliment lightly. He’ll take what he can get. “You could stake a claim on me so no one will ever steal me away,” he jokes, taking the soap from John’s hands and setting it back in its holder, before starting when a wet hand grips his elbow. He turns, finding John’s face a few inches from his own. Holy fuck, when did he get there? He’s fucking fast for a drunken guy. “Yo, personal space, bro,” he says, trying to brush John’s hand away. John reacts by tightening his grip.
Oh my god, he’s not going to get a boner from this. No fucking way.
“No. You won’t believe me, you dick. I told you that I love you.”
“And you do,” Dave tries to soothe, before grunting in surprise when John shifts closer. Fuckity fucking fuck, this is so not good. “John, you’re breaching the no homo barrier right there.”
“And I’m saying I have all the homo for you,” John says, breath wafting across to Dave’s lips. “All of it.”
“Thought I’d never see the day that you’d go homo after drinking cheap beer,” Dave chokes out, feeling trapped in his skin just as much as he’s trapped by John’s grip and gaze. It’s like he’s on fire, and John is barely even breaking a sweat staring him down.
“I didn’t turn gay after getting drunk, are you an idiot?” John snarls. Dave’s breath hitches in shock, an odd and painfully familiar sort of warmth settling in the pit of his stomach. Shit. “I’ve always liked you,” he says, before hesitating. “But I never thought it would mean anything. To you.”
“You really don’t mean any of this,” Dave tries to say, before a strangled sound escapes him as John’s lips brush against his. “John, John, you are so gonna fucking regret this in the morning, dude,” he says in a rush, panicking as he turns his head away from John. “You should let go of me now. Now.”
It takes a while of awkward silence before John takes his hand away, his skin un-sticking itself to Dave’s (no way in hell is he gonna forget about this, not with John acting like he is) as he settles back on the other side of the tub. “’m sorry,” John says, a complete picture of someone regretful.
Dave feels a pang in his chest just looking at him, and he knows that it’s not because John isn’t pressed up to him anymore.
“It’s fine, you’re a bit out of it,” Dave says, waving it off. “We can have a laugh about it once you’re sober, yeah?”
“It’s not funny,” John grumbles, catching Dave off guard. “I do mean it. I just- I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I thought you-” he stops himself, looking constipated, as though he’s arguing with his own thoughts. “Mm.”
“You thought I what?” Dave asks, because he can’t handle being left in the dark about things.
“I thought,” John trails off, struggling with his words, before sighing in what seemed to be defeat. “I thought you liked me back.”
Whoa.
“I. Um.” Dave fumbles with his words, feeling a flush creep on his cheeks as John stares intently at him. “We should finish cleaning ourselves up,” he suggests lamely, feeling guilty when John visibly deflates at the words.
“Okay,” John concedes, blue eyes turned away from Dave’s own as he starts washing himself off.
Dave nods, silent as he finishes cleaning himself up, silent still even as he stands up, wraps a towel around himself and steps out of the bathroom with his shades in one hand. It doesn’t take long for him to dress in just his boxers and set his specs down on the bedside table before John follows after him, looking absolutely miserable as he grabs a shirt from Dave’s closet and a pair of shorts before pulling both articles of clothing on.
Dave is already on his bed, lying supine on top of his sheets as he stares up at the ceiling, when John stops by the foot of his bed. “What?” He asks, trying to sound casual as he lifts his head a bit from the pillow.
“Can I still sleep with you, at least?” John asks, tugging on the hem of his shirt. “Please.”
He should say no.
He should.
He doesn’t.
“Yeah, okay,” he says, scooting over to the wall as he gives more space for John to lie in. “Don’t crush me in your sleep,” he says.
“Don’t stab me with your elbows,” John shoots back, a half-hearted scowl on his face. Dave feels inexplicably guilty.
The silence is uncomfortable when John settles on the left side of Dave’s bed. He keeps shifting, folding his arms under his head, unfolding them to fold them again on his chest, turning to his left, turning to his right- Dave feels antsy just looking at him. “You okay?” He asks, lying on his left side so he can have a better look at John. “Need a hug?” He suggests with a little more teasing in his tone that seriousness.
John freezes at that, before sporting a glare. “You shouldn’t mess with a guy, y’know. I can’t tell if you like me or not.”
Dave pauses at the statement, turning red eyes up to look into blue ones. “You’re drunk. I can’t really take you seriously, man.”
“Being drunk doesn’t automatically make me a liar,” John grumbles, sounding a little sober compared to earlier. “I do like you. Love you. Both of it. I just wish you’d take me seriously.”
Dave hesitates, before giving in with a tired sigh. “C’mere,” he mumbles, reaching out to tug at John’s arm, before pulling him into a hug, the brunet’s head settling right under his chin as he keeps his arm wrapped around his waist.
“Dave-”
“I do like you,” he says in a rush, tamping down the urge to laugh nervously when John stops breathing on his (unfortunately) naked chest. “I do. But I’d like it better if we talked about this in the morning.”
It takes a few minutes, long enough to make Dave think that John is asleep, before John actually speaks. “Okay,” he whispers. “That’s fine. But you do like me?”
Dave swallows. “I love you,” he croaks out, squeezing his eyes shut just as John wraps his own arms around his waist. “I love you.”
He feels more than sees John’s smile on his skin. “I love you too.”
He better not be lying about this whole thing. Dave doesn’t think he can lie any longer, not when he’s been given a shot like this.
----
When Dave wakes up and reaches over to his side, he feels only the cold sheets in his hands.
That sends him into wakefulness in a minute, his red eyes blinking open as he looks at his side, before looking up and to the kitchen portion of his dorm.
Oh.
“G’morning,” John greets, looking better than a person ought to be after drinking that much, a grin on his face as he saunters closer and sets a plate on Dave’s lap. “Eggs and bacon. Karkat’s the one who does the lists, isn’t he? Good going, you’d probably forget everything if he didn’t write that down. Also, I helped myself to some aspirin and juice.”
“That’s cool,” Dave croaks out, voice dry, before he thankfully accepts the bottle of apple juice in John’s hands. “Thanks,” he murmurs after a deep gulp, unsure as to whether he should ever approach the topic of John liking him.
The feeling of rejection and disappointment start to settle, rather heavily, in his stomach- before being cut short when John ducks down and grips his wrist, holding his hand (holding the bottle) away before he leans in and kisses a chaste kiss on his chapped lips. “You’re welcome,” John says, grinning widely as he pulls away.
Dave sort of maybe stares at him. Just a bit.
“You’re not gonna take back being in love with me, are you?” John asks, looking uncertain as he releases his hold on Dave’s wrist.
“No!” Dave yells on instinct, before flushing red when it comes out too loud. John laughs. “Shut the fuck up, you have no right to laugh at me when I had to help you up the stairs. I could’ve let you fall, you ingrate,” he grumbles, still flushing red even as he takes a bite out of his food.
“Sorry not sorry, as they say,” John says, still laughing a bit as he sits on the edge of Dave’s bed, a hand settling on the blond’s thigh before squeezing lightly in comfort. “So, boyfriend?” He’s grinning brightly when he says it, his hand still very much on Dave’s thigh, and Dave really can’t say no to him.
“Boyfriend,” Dave says, rolling his eyes when John cheers with an upward punch to the air. “Even if you are sort of an asshole.”
“I’ll take what I can get,” John says, grin softening into a smile as Dave sets the bottle of juice on his side, his now free hand covering John’s hand on his thigh. Dave twines their fingers without the usual hesitance, a small smile gracing his face as he squeezes their hands together.
“I’ll take everything, if you don’t mind,” Dave says, laughing when John deliberately digs his thumb into his palm. “No backing out now.”
“Backing out?” John parrots with an incredulous look. “Oh no, you have no idea, Dave.”
“Don’t I?” Dave inquires innocently.
“You really don’t,” John says a little more solemnly, although it’s a little obvious how he’s trying to hold a laugh in. “Because you’re stuck with me now.”
Dave huffs a laugh, hiding his grin. “I’m okay with that,” he says, the corner of his lips twitching, before he hides the smile with a well-timed sip from his bottle of juice.
A little more than okay with it, to be honest. But John doesn’t need to know that.