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Ianto Jones,
Last night, you stunned an alien. I thought you were a spy from UNIT, so I drugged you. Which is why you don’t remember this, or the fact that I brought you to your flat. I’ve waited on your couch through the night so I can explain the situation properly when you wake up. As soon as you open your door, I’ll slide my weapon across the floor to you. I’ll be unarmed, and willing to talk.
Captain Jack Harkness
Ianto studied the terse note again and again. He mulled it over in his mind, swishing around the words and their meanings until they settled into something that began to make sense. Finally, after several minutes, he folded up the piece of paper neatly and placed it in his pocket. Taking a deep breath, the wary man slowly turned his bedroom’s doorknob.
At the very first creak of the hinges, Jack’s head shot up from its bowed position. He tried very hard to ignore the way his stomach seemed to drop a meter as he mechanically stood, removed his Webley from its holster, and sent it skidding across the linoleum before sitting back down. Peaking out, Ianto cautiously glanced down at the gun before stepping out from behind the door. From that point on, the gun ceased to exist between them. Ianto padded down the hallway from his bedroom and leaned against the wall, staring out across the room at Jack. The space between seemed to want to draw them closer to one another, as if it was sucking them in. But they resisted the urge. Now they could talk openly. And whether they admitted it to themselves or not, it scared the shit out of the two men.
“You could have at least made breakfast,” Ianto said flatly. Jack couldn’t help but chuckle as he glanced away from the young man’s eyes.
“Didn’t know what you’d like.”
“All I have is porridge and eggs.”
“Ah. Not a lot to choose from, then.”
“Well, next time you decide to drug me and break into my flat, give me some notice first so I can stock up.”
Jack sighed and tugged at his hair. “Ianto, please let me explain.”
“What do you think I’m standing here for?” he shot back with more harshness than he had intended.
Bowing his head again in shame, Jack nodded. “Sorry. I--” Trying to remember what he had rehearsed over and over in his mind throughout that long, dismal night on Ianto Jones’s couch, he started again.
“Last night, you went to the Glam Nightclub to track down an alien from the planet Saturnyne. Torchwood also happened to be there for the same reason. I saw you and I--” He stopped again and smiled slightly, trying to ignore how drawn he was to the man across from him. “I dropped everything to talk to you. Because it’s been nearly three weeks, and I wanted an explanation. The Saturnyn quickly made her dramatic entrance, and soon enough, you were jumping across tables like some dashing hero and stun gunning the hell out of her. Sorry, but I don’t expect that from most cute guys I meet in fast food restaurants. So I...jumped to conclusions a bit, and thought you were a spy from UNIT or some other organization, like I said in that shitty excuse of a note I left you. Wiped your memory, made you pass out. Before you did, you explained who you were and made me look you up. Your story checked out...so I brought you here.” He shrugged as if that would help lighten the load of what he had done. “The rest is history.”
Ianto stared at him, his expression unreadable. “That’s it, then?”
Forcing himself to lock eyes with the man he had so wrongly accused, Jack sighed. “It was extremely reckless, and rushed, and stupid, and you got hurt because of it, and I am so sorry, Ianto Jones. I really am.”
For a strange, split second, the young man cracked a smile. “Well, at least Torchwood Cardiff’s still living up to its reputation.”
Jack’s heart sank so fast, it was as if a brick had been tied to it. One of the subjects that had been banging against the inside of his brain throughout the night was finally coming up. And this, despite every ounce of reason Jack owned, was the subject he had dreaded the most.
“So you knew who I was. Back...with the coffee and everything. When I gave you my number. That whole shy boy thing was just an act to mess with me. That’s funny. That’s real professional of you, Torchwood One.”
Ianto closed his eyes, and Jack could detect just a hint of a blush. Oh, this would be so much easier if that blush didn’t look so real, and so sweet.
“No,” muttered Ianto awkwardly, avoiding Jack’s gaze, “I didn’t know who you were then. Knew I’d heard the name somewhere, but it’s been years since that. I was a junior researcher at One, sooo, a lot of what I did at work could be brought home on my laptop. Still have their software. Found you that way. At least one of us bothered to look into the other.” Jack grimaced sheepishly at that before letting out a dry chuckle.
“It’s nice to know I was so fondly talked about over in London.”
Ianto rolled his eyes, though his lips twitched just barely to show a smirk. “The other branches of Torchwood were considered to be a joke in London. A joke for the higher levels, that is. My friends and I...well, we just did our work. Occasionally heard about Three, but not you by name. Some of my friends probably knew of you. I wasn’t designated to that area.”
The sadness in the young man’s tone as he remembered the life he’d lost was painfully obvious, despite how much his face tried to hide it. Jack couldn’t bear to see this without trying to comfort him--something that might have shocked his team if they’d been there to witness it. But he had to try, after all the damage Jack had already caused. He took a deep breath. Shared experiences are supposed to help, right?
“I lost one of my best friends to the Cybermen that day,” Jack said quietly.
“I lost all of them.” Ianto immediately winced. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, that was...that was awful of me. I’m sorry you lost your friend.”
Jack nodded, trying to hide how the comment stung. So much for comforting him. “Thank you. And same to you. It must have been terrible.” They stayed silent for a moment, reflecting on what the other had said. Jack knew it was too much for the both of them to bear. “But,” he added quickly with a grin, trying to apply balm to the conversation, “going back to what you said about being awful...so is drugging a man, hauling him into a cab and up to his flat, and dropping him on his bed. Sorry if you’ve got any bruises, by the way; that lift needs to be fixed.”
“I am feeling a bit sore. And the lift’s been broken since before I moved here.” Another small smirk flashed on Ianto’s face. He seemed to be contemplating something before he finally asked, “Coffee?”
Jack’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “I’m sorry?”
“Coffee. Do you want to finally have that coffee I promised you?”
Jack stared at him, mouth hanging open slightly. “Uh, yeah. I mean, it’s a bit overdue, but--” He scratched his head before blurting out, “Ianto, you’re not even questioning a single thing I say!”
The young man couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Jack,” he said, almost as if he was trying to sooth him, “there’s no way you’d wait around here for hours just to apologize if you were lying, or if you had any intention of hurting me. You would have done that while I was asleep. And besides,” this time, he smirked completely, and if Jack wasn’t mistaken, a little mischievously, “bits and pieces of last night started coming back to me as soon as I read your note. I know you’re not lying.”
He laughed again as Jack continued to gape at him. “Look, whatever you gave me, you need to chuck it, because obviously it doesn’t work very well.”
Jack shook his head slowly. “No, it does work. We’ve used it hundreds of times, and less than a dozen people--well, that we’re aware of, anyways--have ever been able to overpower it. I mean, it was a low dose, but....” He looked Ianto up and down before settling on his face again. “You’re really something special, aren’t you, Ianto Jones?”
He blushed again. Jack beamed; he really was starting to let himself revel in that blush.
“Must have been a defective one. Just got lucky.”
“No, my team and I make them ourselves. Believe it or not, despite what London said about us, we usually know what we’re doing. You’re not lucky. You’re brilliant….And I don’t blame you for not telling me you figured it out. Had to be sure, right? But you...I still can’t believe you were able to access your memories again!..Brilliant and handsome. I might just be swept off my feet,” he said with a grin.
“Coffee, yeah?” Ianto asked again quickly before striding into the kitchen. “See? Fixed, as promised. Bit overdue, like you said, but--”
“Ianto,” sighed Jack, holding up a hand to stop him, “this isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I asked you for coffee. I’m not trying to make it into something it isn’t. I’m certainly not expecting you to want that…especially after last night.”
Turning away from the coffee machine, Ianto braced himself against the kitchen counter. He inhaled, exhaled, then slowly raised his head to look Jack in the face. “I told you,” he muttered. “I didn’t know who you were when I offered. And it was me who offered. I wanted you to come.”
“But for what? And what about now? Our situation has changed just slightly, Ianto.”
He nodded, thinking quietly to himself. “I accept your apology from earlier. I forgive you. We can talk about it over coffee.” He turned back to his work with finality. Jack let out a huff and rested his chin on his fists, begrudgingly accepting the silence that had been placed between them, for now.
A few moments later, Ianto briskly headed out of the kitchen. “That should be a few minutes. I’ll be right back.” And with no further explanation, he dutifully walked away and disappeared down the hall. A door opened, then a minute later closed. This happened again, and then there was silence. Jack was left to do nothing but sit, wonder, and think.
He couldn’t help but accept how nervous he was. Leave it to someone like Ianto Jones to do that to him. He hated it...hated knowing that he’d have to let go sooner or later. But then again, it was also a kinda thrilling. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time, and as Ianto stepped out of the hallway in a gorgeous suit, his hair immaculate, Jack decided that maybe it wasn’t that bad of a feeling.
“You’ve cleaned up rather nicely,” he said, giving him a once-over. Ianto’s eyes gleamed. That single look that gave Jack so much hope was gone in an instant as the man forced himself back to his coffee machine.
“Saying I looked like rubbish before?” he called over his shoulder.
Jack chuckled, still eyeing that suit. “You’ve looked good in everything I’ve seen you in. It’s a bit different once you’ve slept in the clothing, though. Gets rumpled and everything. Loses the effect--its sleekness, etc.” Ianto couldn’t hide the playful simper on his lips fast enough as he turned his head to see Jack watching him. He turned back to the machine as if nothing had happened.
“What about you? That’s the same outfit I saw you in three weeks ago.”
“It’s not like I didn’t wash it,” Jack said defensively. “I just know what looks good on me. Why fix something that isn’t broken?”
“Variety?” suggested Ianto, filling two mugs up with precision.
“I have different colored shirts and trousers,” muttered Jack. “Just in the same style.”
“Rather old-fashioned...does suit you, though.” He brought the two mugs over to the table in front of the couch, sitting down beside Jack.
“I’m an old-fashioned kind of guy, I suppose. Sometimes.”
“And when you’re not?”
Jack leered dangerously for a moment before flicking his gaze to the coffee in front of him. He giggled. “You didn’t drug this, did you? I suppose it’d only be fair, but I’d hate to think you would, after everything we’ve said.”
Ianto rolled his eyes, smiling. He lifted his own mug and took a sip, suggesting with an arched eyebrow that Jack should do the same. What the hell? It’s not like it could kill him. Not for long, anyways. He quickly mirrored Ianto’s movements, drinking deeply. He let out a blissful hum.
“This is heaven.”
That sparked a prideful grin. “Worth waiting three weeks for, then?”
“Yes….But I wish I didn't have to.”
The spark gone, Ianto sighed and put his mug down. He studied its contents, trying to ignore the hurt bearing down on him in the form of two blue eyes. “I’m sorry. Once I found out who you were...well. It’s only been a few months. And you’re Torchwood, Jack. You’re a reminder.”
Closing his eyes briefly, Jack let this new explanation fall into place in his brain. It hurt. Nevertheless, he lowered his head, trying to will Ianto to look at him; to will him to realize he understood.
“I don’t have to be that around you….It’d be nice to be something else for awhile.”
“But what if I miss it?” asked Ianto quietly, finally looking up at him. “I’ve been thinking. Debating with myself. I’ve had that PDA since Canary Wharf, and ignored it every single time it went off...until last night.” He tugged at the knot in his tie, almost as if he could gather up the courage he needed through that simple action. He let out a halfhearted snicker as he chided himself. “This is the suit I wear to job interviews….I want to work for Torchwood Cardiff.”
Before Jack could do more than sputter, Ianto hastily continued. “You know I have experience, you know I was trained and can hold my own against an alien threat. I’m smart. According to you, I’m brilliant,” he added with a bemused laugh. He took a moment to try and calm himself down, hoping to sound more professional. “Please. Please, Jack. This is what I need. Don’t force me back into a world that ignores what happened in July because it doesn’t understand it.”
Jack stared at him. Studied his face, his hands, the way he held his coffee tightly as he practically begged for a job. A way out of the life that he’d tried to mold himself back into over the past few months. Tried and failed--miserably. He couldn’t help but smile.
“The outfit was a cute touch,” he chuckled quietly. “I’ll admit, I’ve hired people with less experience than you, entirely based on extinct. But this is...you really want this. Hardly anyone ever comes to Torchwood; it usually comes to them. But you--” He shook his head, practically looking mesmerized. “You really are something else if you miss a job like that.”
“So you’ll hire me?” he asked, eyes wide with anticipation.
“Ianto, I--” He stopped. Considered what he was about to say. That was new. Usually this sort of comment rolled right off his tongue. But he had to be careful. He had to be different with this man sitting next to him, sharing his space. He took a breath and tried again. “Ianto, I was kinda hoping we could have something that isn’t exactly advised between a boss and his staff. And maybe you don’t want that, and if you don’t, no hard feelings; I’ll still hire you. I just want us to be clear on this. Seeing each other so often, in such dangerous situations…that can't be good. Like I said, I don’t know what you want or expect. But--” He silenced himself again before he managed to sound even more like a rambling idiot.
And silence followed. For a long time. Longer than Jack thought he could stand. Ianto’s eyes darted between Jack’s hands and his own, obviously trying to settle on what he wanted to say. And this continued. For a long time. And Jack was sure they could hear each other’s hearts beating.
Finally, Ianto let out a whisper.
“I could continue as a researcher. Not go out on missions. You’d never even know I was there.”
Jack gaped at him as his heart somehow managed to speed up. “And you’d be okay with that?”
“I liked my job. I was good at it. Why wouldn’t I be okay with it?” His chest heaved slightly as he stared at the man sitting next to him, far too close, and yet possibly not close enough. Ianto was restless, and more than a little apprehensive. But still determined. “I could do anything out of the way. Whatever would keep me busy….You said you wanted it, Jack. I do, too. Obviously.”
“But we haven’t even said what ‘it’ is. What do you want?”
The young man blinked at him awkwardly, knitting his eyebrows together. “...I thought that was the obvious part.”
“It’s just….” He shook his head. “How much? One time? Whenever we want to stop?...More? What is it you mean, Ianto? We need to understand each other.”
“Well, what about you? What do you want?”
“Honestly?” Jack shrugged, out of his depth, and terrified because of it. “I don’t know.”
Fidgeting, Ianto nodded to show he understood more than he could say. “Me neither. We are still practically strangers….Can’t we just...see where it goes?”
Jack raked his fingers through his hair, high-strung and eager all at once. “I want to, but….Ianto Jones, you have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.”
That certainly got a laugh. “You want to. Well. In that case….” He took a sip of his coffee before leaning in. Jack considered the possibility of broken ribs as his heart continued to hammer against his chest. He felt Ianto’s warm breath on his face. “I guess I’ll just have to find out as we go along, then.” He closed his eyes and kissed Jack languidly, enjoying it far too much to pull away and make it chaste. Jack sighed, the tension in his shoulders melting off of him as he brought a hand up to cup Ianto’s cheek, pulling him closer. Finally.
Excuse the cliché, but Jack really did believe that it was far too soon when they stopped to catch their breath. Mentally shaking the fog from his mind, he beamed at Ianto. “That was quite a kiss.”
Ianto nodded, lazily grinning back at him. “It was.”
“I don’t think I delivered my best work, though,” murmured Jack.
“No?”
“No. Can I try again?”
Rolling his eyes, Ianto leaned back into the kiss, smiling as Jack’s tongue glided across his own. He hummed deep in his throat before pulling away. “You’re right. That was definitely an improvement.”
“I could say the same for you.”
“I try my best.”
Jack chuckled quietly before tilting his chin forward to kiss him again. Ianto smirked and pushed on his chest gently. “Your coffee must be cold. Drink up. That is why you were invited here in the first place, after all. Well. Partially.” He simpered.
The other man let out a frustrated huff. “You promised me something amazing.”
Ianto pulled an appalled face before taking his mug and holding between them, almost as if he was trying to comfort the drink. “Are you suggesting my coffee isn’t amazing?”
“It is, but if it’s cold now, it’s not as good.”
“Warming it up is absolutely out of the question.”
“Of course.”
“And making a fresh pot will take some time.”
“Which we really don’t have.”
“So what could you possibly be expecting instead?” His eyes sparkled.
Jack noticed, and there was that thrill again. “Well...you’ve got the job. As handsome as you look in it, you don’t need that suit anymore.”
Leering, Ianto set down his coffee, stood, and took Jack’s hand. He pulled him off of the couch. “You should start recruiting all of your employees by seeing how they respond to that drug.”
He giggled. “Maybe I will.”
“Good. See? I'm already full of great ideas for the job.”
“As long as the next one doesn’t end up like this. I’d hate for you to think I do this for all my employees.”
“Thank you….” He flushed. “So what time should I come into work tomorrow?” Ianto asked as he guided them both down the hallway.
“The earlier ones usually show up around seven thirty,” said Jack, kicking his gun away from them.
“I’ll come in at seven, then.”
“Yeah?” Jack asked, grinning.
“Yes,” said Ianto, closing the bedroom door behind them.