Chapter Text
Chapter One
“Name?” Hope pressed as she tapped her pen on her notepad. The woman beside her shifted nervously. She fiddled with her thumbs, her breathing shallow and panicked, as she reached a hand up towards the left side of her face.
“You already know this, Hope.” The woman whispered, touching the bandages on her face. They stung, and she forced her arm down.
“Just a formality.” Hope smiled as she gripped the woman’s shoulder. “You know I like to keep a routine. Just play along. Please?” Hope’s touch was comforting, warm like happiness. The smell of paint and vanilla filled the air, and the woman lowered her gaze.
The woman hesitated. “Xio. ” She mumbled, clenching and unclenching her fists.
Hope nodded, jotting down the name with a reassuring smile. “Thank you, Xio. You're doing great.” She glanced up. “Now, can you tell me what brings you here today?”
Xio took a deep breath, her voice barely above a whisper. “I just… I need to feel safe again.” She cleaned off her dagger, dust from today’s mission filling her head. The dust brought her memory back without thinking. The blood, the screams, the panic… tears threatened to fall.
Hope wrote something down, then placed the notepad on the floor and took a deep breath. “I know you do. And believe me, I’ve been trying.” She looked at the ground, feeling the wind rush into the tree in the courtyard, letting the leaves fall around her. “I know you want to feel safe, I know you don’t feel safe, but there’s nothing I can do for now.”
Xio felt tears, but she rubbed her eyes. “There’s not much you can do anyway. I can handle this.” She rubbed her temples, sighing. “I can handle Nightmare. You know how well I am at suppression.”
Hope’s face paled, her usually closed eyes opening in shock. She spun around, suddenly alert. “Look, I get that you think you can handle your boss, but that’s not the top priority right now. Right now, I need to find out if we’re being watched.”
Xio stood up sharply, gripping her dagger. “Nightmare is a perfect boss. Not like he does much. But hey, still better than yours!” She mumbled.
Hope spun around to face her. “Oh, really, so my boss abuses me? Manipulates me? Because that sounds like your boss! And anyway, Ink isn’t my boss.” Hope went back to when she woke up for the first time, seeing his warm yet detached face, seeing Dream and Swap all look at her like she was precious…
Xio started to argue, but Hope cut her off. “You need to learn that not everyone is attacking you all the time. You act so emotionally closed off, but in reality, you just act like that to avoid getting attached!” She snapped, her face red, her voice bitter and sharp.
“Oh, well, at least I don’t trust everyone I see! You’re so open, I’m shocked that your brain is cold from all the air!” Xio screamed, hearing her echo through the air. She knew she had stung, but she couldn’t help herself. “You need to learn that it’s kill or be killed, and that’s the only way to survive!”
Hope paused. “I... well...” She felt tears well up in her eyes. She stared at Xio, hesitating at the bandages wrapping the left side of Xio’s face. “Are you... okay, Xio?”
Xio froze, her breath catching in her throat. The question hung in the air like smoke, thick and suffocating. Her fingers twitched toward the bandages again, but she stopped herself halfway, forcing her hand back down to her side. “I don’t know,” she said finally, her voice trembling. “I don’t think I’ve been okay for a long time.”
Hope stepped closer, her anger dissolving into something softer, something fragile. “You don’t have to pretend with me,” she whispered. “Not here.”
Xio laughed bitterly, the sound sharp and hollow. “Pretend? That’s all I’ve ever done. Pretend I’m fine. Pretend I’m strong. Pretend I’m not terrified every time I close my eyes.” She turned away, her shoulders shaking. She could still feel the tendrils on her throat, feeling his hand grab her eye, the HP dropping as pain shot through her and—
The wind picked up, carrying the scent of rain and rust and despair. Hope’s notepad fluttered on the ground, pages flipping wildly. She crouched to pick it up, but when she looked back, Xio had stepped away.
“Do you ever wonder,” Xio murmured, “what it would be like to start over? To forget everything? To wake up and not remember who you were?” She clawed and gripped at her arms, the cuts from training still burning.
Hope swallowed hard. “Every day.”
Xio smiled to herself, trying to think back when she was safe, when she was finally free. Then reality came crashing down and she suppressed a shuddering breath. “Can things be different...? Do we have to--” She whipped her head around, unsheathing her dagger. “Who’s there? Show yourself, you coward!” The wind whipped at their faces, and Xio couldn’t hear the bushes rustling from all the noise.
Suddenly, she felt rippling pain throughout her arm. Xio screamed and dropped her dagger, clenching the wound as blood festered. It poured onto the ground from between her fingers as her HP dropped sharply. The tendril that had sliced her traveled back to the bush, and she could see a silhouette that looked awfully close to…
“Wow, Xio. Never thought I’d see you actually vulnerable.” The woman cackled, her lavender glare piercing the air. “It's honestly a bitter sight. You really—”
Hope grabbed her weapon, her staff, and slammed it towards the woman. She didn’t wait for the woman to strike back as she slammed her staff into her again, watching as she collapsed into a puddle. The woman reformed, clutching her injured arm as a tendril wrapped itself around Hope’s staff and threw it against a tree so hard it splintered.
As the light of the moon gleamed, they finally saw her face.
Xio paled for a second before sighing in relief. “Calamity! Oh, thank god, I thought you were Nightmare!” She grabbed Calamity’s wrist and pulled her forward, rubbing her hands on her sweater to get rid of the negativity that stained her.
Calamity glared at Hope as she was shoved into the moonlight. “Guess she thought so, too. Why are you even meeting with her? I thought you hated the Star Sanses.”
Hope glared at her. “What’s the negativity doing here? I thought you hated going outside, you hermit.” She hissed.
Calamity smiled. “I just know that Nightmare or Ink wouldn’t be too pleased to hear about this, no?” She said innocently.
Hope and Xio glanced at each other. “Get lost, Calamity. This doesn’t concern you.” Hope spat, summoning her staff. Her golden eyes scared even Xio, glaring and sharp. “Don’t forget you’re unarmed... wait...” Her face paled. “Xio... how did you face Nightmare before? Isn’t Calamity...”
Calamity almost looked... hurt? It was only for a moment, and she put on her usual deminor. “Oh, wanna compare me to him, huh?” She spat. “Fine. If you can compare me to Nightmare, how would you feel if I compared you to Ink, your precious creator? Oops, did I get too harsh?” She said mockingly as Hope seemed to shrink.
Hope dropped her weapon, and it clattered to the floor. “Don’t compare me to Ink. Sure, I might act like him, but at least I don’t look like him.”
Calamity seemed to get angrier at this. She clenched her fists and grabbed Hope by her scarf, lifting her off the ground. Calamity’s presence filled Hope’s senses, and the muffled panic even seemed to get amplified. Her body shook as a sense of darkness overtook her. “Don’t say anything like that. Remember who has power over you now. Dream would never forgive you. You’d be kicked out of that God-forsaken team, and then you’d have nowhere to go.”
Xio grabbed her dagger and stabbed it into Calamity’s hand. “Let go of her!” She twisted the blade, and Calamity dropped her, clenching her hand. “I get Nightmare is basically your dad, but that doesn’t mean I’d ever let you act like him.” Xio spat, her blade covered in Calamity’s black blood. “He’d be proud, sure, but then he’d ask why you snuck out in the first place.” Calamity’s hand reformed, her lavender glare icy cold.
“He wouldn’t. He’d slaughter you, and you know it. Remember the last time he found out?” She grinned, glancing at the bandages. “Everyone heard your screams. Remember the pain? The abuse? Surely you want to avoid that?”
Xio seemed to pause. “Surely you don’t want to end up like him? Surely you’d want to avoid your ‘dad’? You know, since I’m not the only one he abuses?” She countered, grinning to herself as she watched Calamity get angrier, a nerve struck.
“That’s not your concern. In case you forgot, I can easily tell Nightmare or Ink or Dream about this. None of them would be happier with any of you.” Calamity threatened, watching Hope get more and more worried with a grin on her face. “Oh, Dream would be so mad. Knowing that you were hanging out with a minion of Nightmare. He’d never forgive you.”
Xio prayed that the comment wouldn’t get to Hope. But it did. And Hope was on the verge of tears, and Calamity seemed to be enjoying it. Xio could see what was going on in Hope’s mind just from seeing her body shake and get smaller, and she almost fell to her knees, but Xio couldn't do anything.
Calamity laughed. “Given up already? God, you Star Sanses are so easy to hurt… It’s childish, really… just like your dad, huh?” She barely flinched as Hope closed her eyes tightly, her shoulders trembling.
Calamity kept going. “It takes a while for your precious team to trust anyone, no? If you shattered it, they might just... leave you. Leave you to rot. The only place you would have to go to is... the Bad Sanses? With Nightmare? I’m sure he’d love to break you.”
Hope fell to her knees, sobbing. And Xio watched as Calamity... grinned. And she saw what Nightmare could truly do to them... break them, and watch as they took their pain out on others. She gripped her dagger tightly, raising it in front of her.
Xio ran with her dagger in hand and stabbed Calamity, watching as she paused, and gripped the knife harder.
The blood barely poured out. Calamity’s HP dropped, and Xio felt nauseous, but she twisted the dagger, hearing Calamity wince.
Calamity glared at her. “Traitor.” She hissed. Xio felt something stab into her back. Xio’s grip loosened, and she pulled the dagger away. It was stained with Calamity’s blood as it clattered on the grass. Xio’s HP dropped sharply, and she felt the tendril barely miss her soul. Calamity grinned. “Forgot about me, huh?”
Stupid Calamity... Xio collapsed as Calamity’s tendril was embedded deep into her back. Xio looked up at Calamity.
“I’ll go let the boss know. He’ll finish you off in an instant.” She whispered to Xio, grinning as she watched the blood pool around her.
Hope ran toward Xio the moment Calamity was gone. She grabbed bandages and immediately wrapped them around her chest, panicking. “I’m so sorry, Xio! This is all my fault, I didn’t help, I’m so sorry!” She sobbed, watching as Xio’s blood got on her hands, crimson and wrong. Wrong wrong wrong so wrong. “I should’ve done something! Just please, if I get kicked out, make sure I never go to the Bad Sanses, please!” She tried using light magic, then green magic, but Xio didn’t want to be helped, so it was no use.
Xio hugged her. “Promise. Now, help me up, I’ll go fix up the situation back home.” She got up while Hope gripped her and made sure she was stable, albeit a bit too worried. She fussed over her, her hands lingering in the bandages on the left side of Xio’s face.
Hope sighed in relief. “If anything happens... blame me. I’ll reason with Dream. I’m sure he’ll understand why I did this. And, let’s be honest... you’re a great patient to explore!” She smiled, though Xio could still see muffled panic in her eyes.
Xio smiled and felt Hope hug her, her grip tight, not wanting to let go. Tears were rolling down her face, her breathing shallow and fast. “Would Ink forgive me if he found out...? He was so nice to me... I don’t want to disappoint him... I don’t want to get kicked out...” She sobbed. Xio’s heart seemed to shatter. Then she noticed how… flat Hope sounded. She brushed the coldness running down her spine away.
“Don’t listen to Calamity. She’s just trying to get into our heads.” Xio reassured her. “She wouldn’t tell my boss, because then she’d have to explain why she was sneaking out. You don’t want to get caught dead in your own trap with Nightmare.”
Hope seemed to smile softly at that. “But what about Dream? He’s got such a complicated relationship with Nightmare--”
“He’d understand. You of all people should know that.” Xio reassured. She stood up to leave, but Hope had other plans. She rushed forward and ripped the bandages off Xio’s face. Xio panicked and covered her eye with her hands, her breath shaky and shallow.
“What did you do?!” Xio hissed, glaring at Hope, who still had the bandages in her hand. Her eyes were wide, her breathing panicked and shallow. “What have you done?!”
Hope dropped the bandages; the blood dried on them. Even now, Hope could see Xio failing to cover up something coming out of her eye.
Xio stepped back, her body shaking and her eyes wide. “You... GO!” She hissed, tears threatening to spill as she lowered her head. “Just leave me alone!”
Hope stepped back, almost wanting to run. “Xio, you need help! You can’t be alone, I won’t leave you here!” The rain whipped around them, drenching the notepad and everything Hope learned about Xio. “I won’t leave you to rot! I know that... I know that you’re hurting, and I want that to stop!” She rushed forward. “Nightmare knows about this! He knows you’re hurting, he knows you don’t make an effort to connect, and he uses it! You’re asking me to save you, but you need to learn to save yourself first!”
Xio stepped back again. “I can’t! I just can’t! I’ve been trying, but I can’t! It feels like my brain is splitting in two!” Her gaze landed upon her hands, staring at them, the bones feeling wrong. She stepped back before turning away. “Don’t bother! If you wanted to help, you would’ve helped long ago!”
Xio ran off, feeling the tears run down her face, and the rain stinging her face. She clawed at her arms as she whispered to herself, her voice laced with sobs. “I... don’t need help.. don’t need help... don’t need...”
She slowed down and stopped, wiping the tears. She forced her pain down, trying not to show weakness. He’d wonder why she was crying, and she’d have to explain.
She raised her hand to her empty eye socket.
And Xio knew Nightmare could do much worse than ripping an eye out.