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To Jean, it was worse being in a titan’s mouth than it was to be a titan. When he was in the mouth of the Cart Titan, it stunk and he felt trapped as he covered his ears with his hands. There was no promise if they were going to make it out of there, if they were going to save the world from the Rumbling. But, now, as he stands with his arm wrapped around Connie while they stared their death right in the eyes, he wasn’t scared.
“So this is how we go out?” Connie asked. Neither of them were scared, as they’ve been living on borrowed time since they were kids. A small tear rolled down Connie’s cheek, though it wasn’t from sadness, or fear, it was out of relief. He could almost see Sasha waiting for him and Jean with a piece of bread in her hand.
“Guess so,” Jean sighed. The smoke bellowed around them, engulfing them, and making their death even more promising. “We’ll entrust the rest to our comrades. That’s how Scout Regiment soldiers meet their end.”
“Do you remember, Jean? The night we burned the corpses.”
“Yeah.”
Connie let out a small chuckle. “This was all your fault, you know. That we got stuck with having to save humanity.”
Jean shut his eyes and took a deep breath through his nose, and the smoke stung, but at this point, what does it matter? “Think they’re waiting for us?” Jean asked, his voice thick. He thinks back to the fire after Trost and the small bone he kept in his pocket after all of these years, one he believed to be Marco’s.
Connie sniffed. “Yeah, I hope so,” he laughed, though there was hardly any humor in it.
Jean chuckled and shook his head. Tears started to roll down his face. “Don’t tell anyone I cried, alright? I’ll still beat your ass as a titan,” his eyes blinked opened and he looked over at Connie, who looked to be in the same state as him
“As long as you don’t tell anyone I did either.”
Jean had no time to respond as lightning started to strike around them, breaking the otherwise calming noise of the crackle and pop of fire. It smelled like it did that night, when Jean burned Marco, when he first saw his ghost. Jean closed his eyes and sighed, welcoming the end of his life.
Then, he opened his eyes and Eren was right in front of him. He was younger and his hair was shorter, which was the same story for Jean, as well. He doesn’t remember this, why doesn’t he?
Jean woke up to the sound of Armin screaming. Suddenly, he was enveloped in smoke again, the same smoke that he thought would kill him. But, here he is, laying down next to Reiner, Connie, and Gabi, the young Marleyan that killed Sasha, though he swears he has no more bad blood between him and the girl, as he knew Sasha would want him to forgive her.
He looked to the ground as he pushed himself up onto his knees. “I remember now, you damned conscientious dumbass.” Jean’s hands inched towards his head, and he covered his ears as everybody else began to mention things Eren had told them. Around him, everybody hugged their parents and their families. But, Jean stayed kneeling with his hands over his ears as tears started to trail down his face again.
A hand pulled his hand away from his ear. “Jean,” it was Connie. He pulled at Jean’s shoulder to pull him to his feet. “Jean,” he repeated, though he wasn’t looking at Jean. Connie stared out into the grey mist, and his hands dropped to his sides. Jean looked at Connie before he turned to see what he was looking out at.
Jean felt as though his heart dropped out of his chest. His jaw dropped as he stared at two figures who stood in front of them. Sasha stood in front of Connie, saluting them with her eyes closed and a soft smile decorating her face. She wore their new uniform, the black suit and new supports that she wore when she died at the hand of the young Marleyan. But, next to Sasha, stood Marco.
Though, he was different from Sasha. Only his left half was there, though his injuries were cleaner now than they were when Jean found him propped up on the foundation of a house in Trost. He looked more alive, with his one eye staring at Jean, and he saluted with his left hand. It reminded him of Commander Erwin, who lost his arm and was forced to salute with the other arm. Marco wore their cadet uniform, the same one he died in.
Jean could feel the bone in his pocket burn as he stared at Marco. It wasn’t the first time he’s seen Marco like this, in a dream, or a hallucination if you asked Hanji, but it was the first time he’s seen Marco in half. Usually, he stands there like the last time he saw him alive, freckles and all, but seeing Marco like this was sickening.
“Sasha…Marco…?” Connie muttered as he stared at their two dead comrades. The two didn’t know what else to do. Connie grit his teeth while Jean just frowned and let his tears fall. People around them mourned and screamed, holding onto their loved ones.
A breeze came by and blew Sasha and Marco away.
Connie immediately started sobbing, and he bent in on himself. Jean was quick to comfort him, and he wrapped an arm around Connie. “Fuck,” Jean muttered as be pulled Connie into his chest. They hugged each other, and cried into each other's arms. Then, suddenly, Jean's stomach grumbled loudly, and the two shared a wet laugh.
Connie let go of Jean, which made him do the same, and Connie wiped at his tears. “You up for some potatoes?” Connie laughed as Jean wiped his own cheeks.
Jean laughed and looked around them. “Not sure where we’ll find any, but, yeah. Yeah, I am. Must be boiled though, and you have to give me half if we can only find one.”
“Yeah, alright, horse face,” Connie wrapped an arm around Jean’s shoulder and pulled him along. After a beat, “You sure do cry a lot.”
”Fuck off, Con.”