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“I’m gonna ask Helga on a date.”
It happened on a Thursday. The guys and Helga were hanging out at the skate park. It was getting late, and Helga was the first one to leave. Not without making a comment about Harold and his inability to understand basic transportation, which made everyone laugh.
Sid watched her walk away with a big smile on his face before adding.
“I’ll ask her if she wants to go to the movies on Saturday.”
Everybody froze and no one said a word. They had heard him correctly. Sid actually wanted to take Helga on a date.
Almost everyone turned to Arnold. He didn’t know what to say.
It wasn’t like Helga belonged to him. She was her own person. Arnold didn’t claim her, he wasn’t an animal. Still, it was public knowledge that he and Helga had something. They weren’t exactly open about it, but come on–everybody in high school knew. Seeing someone else openly interested in Helga was unexpected to say the least. Especially Sid, of all people.
After a moment, Stinky broke the silence.
“I must say, she’s a good partner.”
“What?” Sid asked, turning to him. “How would you know that?”
“You seem to forget Helga and I dated.”
“In fourth grade.”
“Until she broke my heart,” Stinky added, clutching his chest dramatically.
Arnold realized he’d gone quiet all of a sudden and he noticed Gerald noticed too. He could feel Gerald’s eyes on him, but he was making a huge effort not to show any reaction. Instead, he kept listening as the guys talked about Helga’s growing popularity.
“I think you aren’t the only one,“ Harold said. “I heard from Patty that she turned down a guy from her class.”
“So,” Sid asked, looking around at everyone–including Arnold–”do you guys think she’ll say yes?”
Arnold really needed to play his part. He wasn’t the jealous type. And what did he have to be jealous of, anyway? He and Helga were nothing.
Sure, they spent a lot of time together. Maybe played video games and talked for hours. They maybe shared some stolen kisses late at night when Arnold walked her to her home after she’d spent the whole afternoon at his place. But that was it. It’s not like they were an official couple and Sid had every right to ask her out.
He must’ve looked too stunned to answer, because Gerald was the one who spoke.
“I don’t know, man. Give it a shot.”
“Yeah,” Arnold said, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible. “Sorry, guys, I need to head home. My grandma told me to be back before eight.”
He grabbed his bike and Gerald followed.
“Me too. Bye, guys!”
“Idiot,” Stinky muttered once they were gone, smacking Sid on the back of the head.
“Ow! What was that for?” Sid protested, removing his hat and rubbing his head.
“Didn’t you see Arnold’s face? We all know he and Helga have a thing.”
“What thing?” Sid scoffed. “Making eyes at each other from across the classroom?” Stinky and Harold exchanged a look and shrugged.
“Besides,” Sid went on, “I like Helga. She’s funny, pretty and we get along pretty well. Also, I think she’s a little into me.”
Harold and Stinky knew Sid wasn’t going to back out. They rolled their eyes and without saying a word, went to pick up their bikes to leave.
“What?” Sid asked from behind.
“She’s going to say no, Sid,” Harold said as he walked away.
“Twenty dollars she says yes.”
They stopped and turned around.
“Twenty-five,” Stinky countered.
“Deal.”
Harold and Stinky smiled and shook on it.
“Poor Sid,” Stinky said as they rode off. “Even I can see Miss Helga is completely smitten with Arnold.”
“Hey, at least we are getting ten something.”
“Twelve fifty,” Stinky corrected.
“Yeah, that. We’ll watch him get rejected and then go to Slaucen’s.”
—
“Okay,” Helga said the next morning when Sid asked her to the movies. “But I get ten of the twenty-five.”
And the gossip spread rapidly. By lunchtime, everyone knew Sid had asked Helga Pataki out. So it didn’t take long for Arnold to hear about it.
“She said yes?” Gerald practically yelled at his locker when he told him. Arnold couldn’t believe it either. “Do you want me to talk to Phoebe? Maybe she knows something about it.”
“Forget about it, Gerald. I’m fine.”
“If you say so, man. I still think you should talk to her.”
The whispers started as soon as they walked into class. Arnold sighed.
“I will.”
He found Helga alone at her locker after the bell rang. She was stacking her books when a few school supplies slipped and fell. Arnold bent down to pick them up.
“Oh. Thanks, Football Head.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” She sighed. “Stupid Olga and her stupid new boyfriend are visiting this weekend, and I–never mind. I’ll tell you later. I need to go home to pick up stupid dinner for stupid Olga.”
“Wait,” Arnold said. “Do you want to hang out on Saturday?”
Yes, it was stupid move. He knew that but also didn’t know how else to bring up the date. Maybe she’d forget about stupid Sid.
“Oh,” Helga said, blinking. “I thought you knew I’m going out with Sid. You can’t keep a secret in this school.”
“Oh. Right. I forgot.” He hadn’t. And he really tried not to sound or look too angry about it, but judging by the look on Helga’s face, he wasn’t hiding it very well.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Of course, what wouldn’t I be?” He replied with the best forced smile that he could master.
“Okay…” She closed her locker. “Then I guess I’ll talk to you later—”
Arnold couldn’t handle it anymore. He needed to ask.
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why did you accept?”
She shrugged. “I like Sid. And I really needed an excuse to get out of the house while Olga’s there.”
Don’t lose it, don’t lose it. You’re not that guy.
“But why wouldn’t you ask me?” he blurted. “I could’ve gotten you out of the house.”
Helga smiled—and it wasn’t the reaction he expected.
“Football Head,” she said, “are you jealous?”
“What? Of course not!”
“I think you are.” She looked at him, a smug smile on her face.
“Listen, just–” He ran his hands in his hair, frustrated. “Forget I said anything. Have fun”
He walked away before she could say anything else. He needed some time to think.
—
“Oh my God,” Helga said as they stepped out of the cinema. “Did we just watch a horror movie, a comedy, a drama? What the hell was that?”
“I know, right?” Sid groaned. “I waited all year for this movie. It had a ninety-eight percent rating on FreshApples. It’s insulting.”
“Come on, those sites are a joke. I think I’ve watched all their top ten horror movies and they all suck.”
“Oh and how about The Holy Nun 2? That zombie nun scene?”
“Awful,” Helga laughed. “Arnold and I watched it months ago. We couldn’t stop laughing. We still quote that scene to this day.” She remembered a time when one of the teachers came to class in a dress that looked like a nun’s, and Arnold passed her a drawing of the teacher as a zombie nun. She was so caught up in the memory that she didn’t even notice Sid had spoken again.
“Sorry—what?”
“I said… I don’t have a chance, do I?”
She blinked, confused.
“I don’t understand”
“You and Arnold. You obviously like him.”
“Yeah,” she said simply. “I do.”
“But Helga,” Sid said with an exasperating look on his face. “We have so much in common. You’re funny, you’re pretty, you are one of the guys! Who wouldn’t want to date you?”
Helga was taken aback. She really wasn’t used to this kind of attention or compliments, and she couldn’t help but blushed a little at Sid’s words.
“But you’d still wait for slow-pacing Arnold.”
“Hey! Back off, bucko!” she snapped. “Arnold could take five more years to ask me out and I’d still choose him.” Sid's shoulders fell as he sighed. Helga placed a hand on one of his shoulders.
“Listen Sid, I like you too but I see you as a friend, I always have.”
“Yeah, okay.” Sid said now looking at her, accepting his defeat. “I’m just mad I lost twenty-five bucks to Harold and Stinky.”
“Well, you did go out with me. So, I’ll let you tell them you rejected me.”
“Nah, they won’t believe that. They also told me you’ll say no because of Arnold.”
“Is that obvious, huh?”
“Yes, but could you both do something about it? It's getting pretty annoying.” He paused. “Have you at least kissed?”
“That’s none of your business.” Helga felt her cheeks heat up.
“Oh my God, you have!”
“Shut up. And if you said something else, I’ll punch you in the face.” She went to place her fists right up his face.
“Alright, alright.” Sid said, putting his hands in the air. They continued their walk home side by side, and then Sid asked.
“Do you think I have a chance with Phoebe?”
“Oh you really want to be punched in the face.”
“Rhonda?”
“Only if we can make you pass for a prince from a distant country.” Helga told him jokingly.
“That could work”
“Come on, Romeo. Let's go home.”
—
“So,” Phoebe asked on Monday, “how was your date with Sid?” She hadn’t heard from Arnold since Friday and frankly she was getting worried.
“It was fun.” Helga said. “That guy will probably date every girl in the school if they allow it. So be prepared to be asked out.”
“Oh?” They both looked over to where Sid was sitting with Harold and Stinky and he was waving at them. They waved back. “Not in a million years.”
Helga laughed out loud.
“So… have you heard from—” Phoebe began.
“Helga?”
Helga turned. Arnold stood there.
“Oh. Hey, Football Head. I was just talking about you.”
He took her hand, pulled her to her feet and in a fast and smooth movement kissed her right there in the cafeteria. Before she could process what had happened, he let go and walked away as the bell rang.
Helga sat down, stunned. Phoebe was smiling at her. When Helga looked around, she saw everyone staring. She caught sight of Sid, Harold, and Stinky’s table, and they gave her a thumbs-up.
Later, at class Helga was able to slip Arnold a note that simply read “?”. She received it back pretty quickly.
I’m sorry about Friday. I got jealous.
She smirked and wrote back.
Is alpha-male Arnold making a comeback? I must admit, it was kinda hot.
She watched him blush as he read the note. He turned the paper around to show her what he had written from afar.
Shut up.
Helga smiled.
After that very public display of affection, people at the school were pretty sure Arnold and Helga were officially a thing.