Work Text:
Tomoe huffed, rubbing his forehead. So hot... It was barely spring, he shouldn't be overheating.
The rake slipped from his hands. He leaned down to pick it up and fell. He could barely feel his legs. He hissed, eyes blurring. He couldn't serve Mikage like this.
...Mikage?
No, no. Nanami. He was serving Nanami.
He took a breath, trying to will his legs to move. What was this sudden wave of weakness? Surely Tomoe hadn't succumbed to the heat.
He heard Nanami run to him, talking. So loud. He forced his head up to look at her, shuddering when he felt her cool hands on his cheeks.
Nanami noticed Tomoe collapse and ran out to the yard, sitting in front of him.
"Tomoe! Are you okay?" She touched his face gently. "You're burning up..."
He pressed into her hands, dark eyes fixed on her face. She hadn't seen Tomoe look like... This, before. Fangs exposed, panting softly, eyes clouded and seeing only Nanami. His ears flicked back.
She shook her head. She couldn't get distracted if Tomoe was sick.
Did yokai even get sick? He had when he was turned into a child, but that had a cause...
"Mizuki!"
Mizuki, thinking he was running to Nanami's aid, stopped at the door.
Tomoe was on his knees, face cradled in Nanami's hands. He was leaning into her touch like a trained puppy, desperate and trusting. The picture of submission. Mizuki didn't have to smell him to know what was happening.
He sighed. He was never beating Tomoe when it came to Nanami's affections.
Deciding to help, anyway, he wandered over.
"Sup?"
"He's sick, or- or something-" Nanami started.
"He's okay." Mizuki breathed in. Pomegranate. Interesting. "It's something some yokai go through. Some more often than others."
"What is it?"
"Mm..."
Oh, he'd relish humiliating Tomoe. The kitsune was glaring at him, though Mizuki was sure his mind was preoccupied with his current state.
"Are you familiar with animal heat cycles?"
Unfortunately, Nanami was more concerned than judging. Mizuki sighed. Was it too much to ask for her to just dump Tomoe on the side of the road somewhere?
He helped her get Tomoe to his room, and explained the basics of what was going on. About a week, sometimes painful depending on the emotional state, often take partners to help them through it, blah, blah. She listened intently, and he was sure she'd be taking notes if she had a pen and paper.
"Alright, thanks Mizuki!" She called as she ran off.
He huffed, sprawling out on the floors.
She left water for Tomoe and waited outside his door. She was giving him space - she didn't want to overstep. It sounded private, or only to be shared with a trusted partner.
Listening to him through the door, though, she couldn't manage it. He sounded pained, scared, even.
She shook her head and went inside. He was curled up on his futon, the sheets pushed off in his feverish state. His nails dug into his arms as he hugged himself, his breaths still coming shallow and fast.
"Tomoe..." She rested a hand on his head. He whimpered softly, grasping for her. "It's okay... I'm here..."
"Mikage..."
She softened. She wasn't angry. He wanted his master - they'd been together for so long. She gently pulled him into her lap, petting his head until he relaxed into her.
"You're okay, Tomoe..."
Red hair in his face. Rough. Bruises left after it passed, but... Okay. Better than being alone. A ragged, broken trust born from necessity rather than any twisted chance at love.
Blond, a smooth voice. Gentle. Soft hands, bringing him food and water when he wouldn't move. Treasured and precious. Safe.
Gone.
It twisted in his chest like a sick, black snake, rotten and ugly in his throat, making him squirm. Where was Mikage? Why wasn't he here?
What did I do wrong?
He whined brokenly, nails finding his skin as his hair fell over his face.
He'd only had one heat at the shrine since Mikage left. It was awful and lonely. He didn't want to go to the brothel, and chose to suffer alone, instead. Kotetsu and Onikiri had worried, but he'd yelled at them until they left him alone.
He'd hated it.
Burning body, refusing to allow himself any comfort, like he could punish himself for whatever Mikage saw that made him leave. It had only been seven days, but the weeks after that had been awful and dark, as well. His body aching, mind lost to him, barely alive.
He didn't want to go back to that.
Mikage, come back. I'm better. I'll be better. I can be good, I promise. I'm sorry.
Hands met his. Gentle. But it wasn't Mikage's voice that greeted him.
Nanami.
He'd forgotten about her in his sick spell of self-loathing. How? She was so important...
She stopped his clawing, speaking gently to him and petting his head. She held him and kept talking, touching his hands, his face, his hair. She didn't touch his ears. He appreciated that. He relaxed, his fears and memories fading.
He woke up hot and wet. He tried to drag in a full breath, his mouth dry from panting. His body ached. Damn heats.
Nanami was asleep by his head, a hand still tangled in his white hair. He pulled away, trying not to stare at her in his bed. He pressed a hand to his forehead.
He had to get away. Before Nanami saw how gross he was. Before she saw him ugly and pathetic and decided she wasn't sticking around, either.
He dragged himself up, leaning against the wall. Two steps and he was on the ground again. He let out a whimper, pressing his thighs together. Disgusting-
Nanami was next to him, woken by his fall. He watched her helplessly.
"Don't look at me..."
"Why?" She eased him back to his futon. "You look fine, Tomoe."
"No..." He pushed her hands off weakly. "Bad..."
"What's bad?"
He shook his head. She couldn't leave. He couldn't take it. He'd barely survived Mikage leaving.
"I can't help if you don't talk to me, Tomoe."
"I don't... Know..." He pushed away, covering his face. Did he want her here or for her to leave? His head was a mess.
She sighed, sitting back. "Tell me what you want."
"Don't... Don't go..."
"Okay. I'll stay here with you."
He shook his head. "No. Outside." A weak gesture for the door.
"...Stay or go?"
"Don't go..." He whimpered. "Just outside... Please..."
Nanami nodded. "Okay. I'll stay in the shrine, okay? Just yell for me, and I'll come. Alright?"
He nodded, swallowing thickly. He dragged the sheets over his lap, watching desperately until she closed the door behind her.
He flopped against the futon and let out a breath.
Nanami huffed again. She tried to busy herself, moving things around, fiddling with stuff in the kitchen, even though she knew it'd annoy Tomoe when he got better.
Mizuki was watching from the table, chin resting on his hand.
"Don't worry about him. He's fine. He's probably been through a bunch."
"That doesn't mean I don't need to worry. He was... Different. I don't know what it was..." Nanami shook her head. "I just wish I could help him more."
Mizuki hummed, thinking, before shaking his head.
"Don't worry about any of that stuff, Nanami. Hey, maybe we could play a game? I'm getting better at shogi."
"Not right now, Mizuki." She brushed him off, finding some ingredients. "I'm going to cook him something."
Mizuki pouted. "He doesn't even need food..."
"No, but maybe it'll make him feel better. I'm sure he's stressed."
"You're spoiling him."
Nanami started preparing the little snacks, pulling her hair out of her face into a half-bun. Sure, she was spoiling him and he didn't need anything, really. But he always spoiled her. It was about time she repaid the hard work he puts in.
After an hour of trying and failing to make himself feel better, Tomoe had passed out. He woke to a soft knocking, immediately tensing, his foxfire ready to burn everything around him. He had to force air into his lungs, make himself relax. There's no danger in the shrine.
He dragged himself over to open the door a sliver, peeking through.
Nanami was sitting on the other side, a tray of freshly made sasamochi in her hands.
"What's this...?" He asked softly.
"I thought you might want some. It's okay if you don't, but-"
"...Yes. Please." He took one, eating it quietly.
As a god's familiar, he didn't require sustenance, but the comforting taste soothed his mind. He let the muscles in his back relax.
"...I'm sorry for earlier. I didn't... You shouldn't see me like that, and I shouldn't order you around."
She smiled slightly. "You don't have to apologise, Tomoe. It's alright. I get that this is uncomfortable for you, so I'll do anything I can to help. Even if that means leaving you alone."
Tomoe nodded slightly, not meeting her eyes as he took another sasamochi.
"...Thank you." He said, not quite sure what else to say to her.
"Sure." She smiled. "Do you still want some space?"
He nodded. "I'll... Crash, later this week. Sometimes it's hard to recover, even after it passes..."
She nodded. "Sure. Take as long as you need. Mizuki can handle your duties for a while. You can come to me if you need anything, alright?"
He nodded stiffly.
He curled up tight under the sheets. He could swear he could feel his temperature rising, bit by bit. His stomach was burning.
He refused. He would not do it, he would not give in to his foul body. He was stronger.
He wasn't going to sleep anytime soon. He rubbed his face against the pillow, trying for any stimulation to distract him. He wouldn't mind Nanami yapping in his ears, now. He sighed, his tail tucked between his legs.
Giving up, he sat, closing his eyes as his head spun. All the blood was in his abdomen. He grasped for the water Nanami had left him, gulping it down.
Fuck, his ears were burning. He touched them, only to let them go with a hissed cry. His sensitivity was going up. He wanted to be happy, as his heat was nearing the end, but the end meant a crash that could last for months. He'd take heat over that depressed hellhole any day, thanks.
He stood up, shaky on his legs, and made his way in a circle around his room. Get the blood flowing again.
Laying for so long wasn't good for him. Nor did prolonged isolation and idle time without tasks do anything good for him. Yes, he needed the rest, but he hated it all the same.
A day passed. Even just fabric touching his skin was too much. He pushed a chair in front of the door and shed his kimono, flopping onto the stripped futon as he tried to catch his breath after that small exercise. Today was the peak, and then he'd go back down.
He growled at himself. The room reeked of his scent. He didn't know how long it had been, really.
His ears flicked at every sound.
Every so often, Nanami would knock to check on him. He struggled to keep himself from whining at her feet and begging her to touch him. Her pleasant human smell eased his mind the slightest bit, and he craved the thoughtless bliss her touch could bring him.
Not now. Not like this. He was gross and she'd never stay if she saw him raw.
He woke up in pain. The heat had left him, for the most part.
Now he was just sore.
He moaned softly, tugging his blanket over him. His muscles ached, despite him not doing anything the whole week. Using up the sad remains of his strength, he pulled a clean kimono on and dragged the chair away from the door. He sat against the wall and called out weakly.
"Nanami...?"
She was beside him in an instant, crouching just outside the door.
"Hey... Are you okay?"
He shook his head, self control gone, replaced with the lonely hopelessness in his chest. He reached for her, pathetic, clingy, dirty.
She took him in her arms like a beloved one. He could've cried.
"Nanami..."
"It's okay..." She crooned, rubbing his back. He only noticed his tears when he felt her shirt become damp.
"I don't..."
"Shh. It's alright." She touched his hair, just above his neck, and he shivered contently. "I've got you. Do you want me to stay, now?"
"Please..."
"Alright."
Tomoe didn't seem to want to go back to his room, nor was he comfortable coming to hers. So she dragged some stuff from both into a guest room and got him set up nice and comfortable with a futon and plenty of soft things.
He insisted on a bath before getting too comfortable, and she reluctantly let him. She didn't want him passing out in the tub and drowning (could yokai drown?), but he assured her he wouldn't.
He came back with wet hair and tired eyes, his tail swishing lazily behind his legs. He laid down on the futon with a yawn.
"Are you feeling any better?" Nanami asked, sitting on the futon next to him.
"Mm." He mumbled sleepily.
"Alright, that's good..."
He was fast asleep in minutes, one of his slender hands holding onto her sleeve. She traced his skin lightly.
Onikiri and Kotetsu appeared beside her.
"Miss Nanami..."
"Oh, Tomoe is sleeping."
"Yes." Nanami said, keeping her voice down. "Is that a surprise?"
"In the past, Tomoe has been stressed for up to months after his heat."
"I've never seen him calm so quickly."
"Huh." Nanami looked down at him. He was relaxed, save for his hand clutching her sleeve. Was it her? "Is this good, then?"
"Certainly, miss Nanami. Sleep, even just not being irritable and stressed constantly, is an improvement on the aftermath of his past heats."
"You must make him feel safe, miss Nanami."
Nanami blushed. "Well, I don't know if I'd go that far-"
She was cut off by him fussing, squirming as his ears pressed flat against his head. He relaxed as soon as her hand met his skin - only proving the wisps' point.
"...I'm glad he can feel safe with me." She said.
The two nodded.
"It is good to see. He was never the same after Mikage left."
"A constant would do him good."
Everyone had warned of the days after his heat as a 'crash', but he really wasn't as bad as Nanami was expecting. He was certainly different from usual, but not bad.
He didn't leave the room unless it was to trail after Nanami. He was happy to spend all day stretched out in bed, as long as Nanami was with him. It seemed like he never properly woke up. He wasn't stressed, though, so she figured he'd snap out of it soon enough.
"Tomoe."
He hummed softly, eyes closed.
"I'm gonna go eat. Are you okay here?"
"No..." He mumbled, reaching for her.
She took his hand, feeling her chest warm. How special, being the one he felt safe enough to be clingy with.
"Maybe in a little while, then."
"Mm." He relaxed.
Tomoe woke up, feeling like hundreds of years had passed. He sighed, not bothering to open his eyes yet. The hands from then left him aching with something that would never return, but he was resting on a soft lap and he was safe.
It wasn't Mikage. These were a woman's legs. The ladies at the brothel? But why would he-
"Are you awake, Tomoe?"
Tomoe sat bolt upright, hissing as his head ached. He stared at Nanami, sitting neatly next to him. She raised her eyebrows.
"Uh, hello?"
"You- what-"
"...We didn't do anything, if that's what you mean." She said. "You finished your heat, I guess, and you've stayed in here with me the last few days."
Tomoe stared at their little guest room. Two futons on the ground, next to each other. He shuddered, pulling his loose kimono over his bare shoulders.
"My- my apologies, I will now be returning to my own room, please forgive my-"
"Tomoe."
He shut his mouth.
"It's okay. I didn't mind it. Why are you so scared?"
"M..." He fidgeted. "Mikage left soon after one of my heats... I don't want you to..."
Her eyes softened and he tensed at the perceived pity.
"You're scared I'm going to leave the shrine? Over this...?"
"No." He bit out, standing up. He had to get out. Away, before she could laugh at him-
He stopped as he felt gentle arms around his waist, hugging him. His breath hitched, ears pressing flat on instinct.
"N...Nanami..."
"I'm not going to leave, Tomoe." She promised. "The shrine is my home. You're my home. And that's not going to change."
"But-"
"No. No buts." She took his head in her hands and he held back from melting into her touch. "I promise, no one is leaving. Everything is okay."
Tomoe bit his tongue. "You can't promise that..."
"Maybe not. Things change, and that's alright... But right now, everything is okay and nothing is changing. Tomorrow, I'll be here with you. And the days after that. Try not to stress, okay?"
He shook his head wordlessly.
She managed to convince him to sit back down. He looked embarrassed, curled into himself with his ears down. She smiled softly and pulled a blanket around him. Usually she was the one blushing around him.
"What are you worried about?"
He turned his head away, letting the blanket hide his slumped shoulders.
"Did I... Say anything, or do anything..."
"...Not really. You think I have dirt on you now?"
He wrinkled his nose at her. She patted his shoulder.
"Don't worry about it. You haven't lost anything in my eyes. You're still the same Tomoe. But tell me if Mizuki gives you trouble."
"Right..." He took a shaky breath, and she couldn't help the pang of sympathy.
"Maybe we can work out a plan for next time, so you don't get so stressed."
She was expecting an 'I can take care of myself,' but he just nodded.
"Okay..."