Archive of Our Own

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Sunghoon was starting to develop a love-hate relationship with the horn echoing throughout the rink, announcing the end to the match. He loved hockey, always had, and as a kid his parents would often have to drag him off the ice, as he complained of wanting to play just one more game.

Then he started playing more seriously and as much as he adored the sport, even he – with comparatively good stamina compared to the rest of the team – reveled in the feeling of finally getting to sit and wind down after a game. So, in a weird way, he’d occasionally even looked forward to the familiar sound.

But recently, specifically the last few weeks, he spent most of the last third of his matches anxiously dreading the sound, because he kept feeling like if he had more time, just 5 more minutes, just 2! He could do something, he could-!

…

The reality is that he couldn’t. No one on the Yongsan Vampires could find the right rhythm, move or play to bring home a victory.

They had been on a losing streak for weeks, which severely endangered their chances of making it to the playoffs, for which they had been a serious contender for the first time in many seasons.

But what was even worse was that Sunghoon felt like they weren’t doing anything necessarily wrong. He himself was playing his usual game like he always had, and was even feeling particularly good about his form.

Heeseung, their captain and center, had been laser-focused – practically no opportunity to steal a puck had slipped him recently, his counterattacks lightning fast as usual. He led his wingers well and set the two up with the perfect opportunities to score.

Jake’s shots had been precise and fast and his aggressive defending had even improved recently, to the point where even the coach couldn’t mask his delight at his recent growth. Their younger, less experienced players, like Jungwon, Sunoo and Ni-ki, had also significantly upped their games and stopped making too many mistakes.

And Jay. Jay’s always at the top of his game. His explosive reactions, agility and reflexes. He’s already attacking before the opposite team can react, setting up shots from the most unorthodox positions. Sunghoon always found humour in seeing their younger teammates watch his childhood friend in slight disbelief, although even he still found himself caught off guard occasionally by a particularly good play.

But Jay had always been like that. Growing up together and attending the same schools, they practically lived in their local ice rink. They had been hockey buddies first, then high school teammates, college teammates and now even professional league teammates.

Sunghoon considered himself very lucky for that - he and Jay had always worked well together. Jay as the right winger, carving out a spot for himself and demanding attention with his skills and audacity.

And Sunghoon was always right behind him - always ready to protect him from the onslaught of bigger, stronger bodies, eager to knock the loud, firecracker-of-a-forward off of his skates mid-attack. His explosive (borderline chaotic and yes pun intended) energy was the perfect contrast to Sunghoon’s calm, towering presence in the team's defense.

They were considered one of the Vampires’ biggest strengths, although the two had been considered a great duo since they barely learned to tape their own sticks. It was no surprise when the pair became a fan favourite after their entry into the big leagues – the Monochromez, Black&White, Jay&Sunghoon, Park&Park.

Back when they were still missing teeth for hockey-unrelated reasons, the two would tell anyone who cared (or didn’t care) that they were the bestest of friends, now Sunghoon felt odd about the label. He didn’t really know why it rubbed him the wrong way, but what he did know was the surge of warmth he felt when spotting one of their fans holding a Park&Park Best Duo! sign.

He knew that they wouldn’t stay teammates forever, but for now he was still looking forward to seeing what else Jay had to show – and he always had more.

It wasn’t just Jay, though. Sunghoon had been very proud of and satisfied with his entire team. As an introvert who struggled to make friends, he just naturally tended to pay attention to the one he knew longest. However, he had recently started getting closer to some of his other teammates, a fact he was very proud of.

Throughout his hockey career, his coaches tended to point out the same flaw – he had a tendency to get tunnel vision and not focus enough on others besides himself and Jay, but it took some maturing, and the pressures of the top Asian hockey league, for him to finally grasp the need to understand and know his teammates, beyond just their numbers and positions.

And that is exactly why he’d been so perplexed by his team’s recent inability to come out the other end of a match on top. They started out the season promisingly enough – the news and social media had been delighted to see the refreshed, youthful lineup succeed and yet that was coming to a premature stop, way too close to the playoff deciding matches.

He knew they were good – they had the skills and experience, and wherever they lacked those they certainly made up for it in drive. But even their coach was starting to run out of classic ‘get-your-promising-but-inexperienced-young-team-out-of-their-sudden-slump’ methods.

They really needed to get their shit together, if they hope to make it to the playoffs and even have a shot at the title.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Jay raced down the side of the rink, glancing over at Heeseung frantically, waiting for the pass. Their home crowd roared with anticipation.

Heeseung was still making his way down the center line, whipping around a few of the opponents’ players, keeping the puck in his possession. He barely registered Jake’s presence, shooting forwards on the other side of the rink, racing to meet Jay ahead of their captain.

Suddenly Jay’s vision filled with the silver-brown jersey of a Tokyo Moonwolf.

He turned sharply at the last second - ice sprayed around them - barely avoiding a collision, and rocketed forward. He swore he could hear a thud behind him, but he made no effort to turn back.

He didn’t need to.

He knew who was behind him.

Who always had his back.

As two Moonwolves descended on Heeseung, the center was just about to pass to Jake, when a third player knocked the puck away and back into the Vampires’ defense.

Sunghoon jerked violently. He had just checked the guy going directly for Jay seconds ago. He reversed as fast as he could, catching a glimpse of Jay doing the same from the corner of his eye.

That’s why he was there.

Truly, Jay was lucky – Sunghoon had learned by now.

Had learned it years ago, actually.

The other’s playstyle was intense, explosive, pushy even. It’s what allowed him to absolutely decimate their opponent’s defenses, before they even realized he was there.

But that meant that when something like this happened – the puck didn’t reach him, didn’t allow him to make use of his playstyle and land those shots – a large gap formed where Jay was supposed to be – where his opponents expected him to be.

But that’s why Jay was so lucky. Sunghoon knew his moves before Jay even made them. He moved further into the opposite team then expected. That made Jay’s plays possible and Sunghoon extending his towering presence further into their opponent’s zone was only an added benefit.

If that meant Jay got to make shots onto the other team’s goal, it was only obvious Sunghoon would do what needed to be done - to support him.

It’s why Sunghoon was exactly where he needed to be, to intercept the player making his way towards the Vampires’ goal. And intercept he did.

He knew what he had to do.

The same thing he always did.

He passed the puck to Jay, who wass already far ahead of where he should've been, ready to make the shot.

And the shot, he made.

Directly into the Moonwolves’ net.

The horn sounded.

This was definitely one of the more love-hate days.

He patted Jay’s behind as they bumped helmets, before letting the smaller lead the celebration past their bench, fist bumping each of his teammates.

His mood soured when he looked up at the scoreboard, however.

Yongsan Vampires 1 – 3 Tokyo Moonwolves

There was a chance still. There was still 15 minutes left in the match. They could still win.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The Vampires had just gotten comfortable in their seats in front of their lockers, when the coach sprung the announcement on them.

They had started their day as usual - bright and early. Most of them pulled up to their home rink in duos or groups, ready to share a breakfast with their teammates, before starting with a video review of their game with the Moonwolves.

They lost. Even received an additional goal right at the end.

The atmosphere in the locker room had been stuffy ever since – everyone had obviously felt similarly. Anxiety about the lack of time before the deciding matches permeated throughout the team. Staying motivated was starting to get really difficult.

After the video review, the coaching staff pointed out what the team needed to work on before starting the pre-practice meeting.

‘We’re making some changes in the next few weeks.’’ Their team had a lot of strong personalities – by now at least a few would have been commenting, complaining. But not this time. Even Sunghoon – who didn’t consider himself particularly good at reading the room – could easily feel the effect their performance was having on the team.

Heeseung’s voice broke the silence: ‘’What does that mean, coach?’’

‘’There are only a few weeks left until the last matches deciding whether we get a shot at the cup or not. At the rate we are currently going, that chance is quickly getting away from us.’’ One pointed look from Heeseung quickly silenced the plethora of grumbles.

‘’We need to do something, make a change, take a risk. Otherwise, we’re as good as done for this season.’’

‘’… I want to try changing the lines. Shuffle you guys around – try new combinations. I know you’re all used to your current lines, but maybe that’s the issue. What’s the worst thing that could happen?’’

‘’ Additionally, this is also an opportunity to have some of our more experienced players help out the younger guys.’’

The team’s reaction was minimal, to say the least. The coach had already tried a few different things, to get them back on track - to no effect. The team was as eager as anyone to get back to their old selves and ready to try about anything at this point.

‘’ We’ll keep Heeseung and Jake on the first line, but let’s switch Jay with Beomgyu – see what happens. Jay, you will be on the third line – with Jungwon and Sunoo.’’

Sunghoon couldn’t help but smile to himself, after hearing Jay mumble into the hand he was resting his chin on – something, something, babysitting.

‘’And let’s switch up the defense too – Sunghoon will go out first, together with Yeonjun. Ni-ki and Kai go after.’’

The coaching staff went over a few more details and changes, summarized the goals for the team in the next few practice sessions and finally left, to give the players some time to get geared up.

Sunghoon wasn’t particularly happy about having to essentially rebuild the team from scratch on such short notice. And he certainly wasn’t happy about having someone else besides Jay in front of him. He was familiar, predictable – to Sunghoon, at least. Adjusting to a new forward now would be… inconvenient.

Jay kept muttering to Sunghoon about how it was all unfair, stupid, counterintuitive! And Sunghoon just smiled at his childhood friend’s annoyance.

‘’I guess our star duo is going to have to learn to breathe without each other!’’ Jake fake sobbed, before avoiding a flying bottle, courtesy of Jay. Most of the locker room broke out in quiet chuckles.

‘’Is this the part where they say their farewells dramatically, before running into each other’s arms for one last goodbye kiss?’’ Ni-ki demonstrated the kiss very theatrically, before he too, had to engage in evasive maneuvers. Jay’s dirty shoe barely missed his newly-dyed hair.

A few more quips rang around the room, but the two Parks had long gotten used to the team’s teasing and barely responded with more than eyerolls.

(99% of them being Jay. Sunghoon tended to just focus on whatever gear piece he was strapping on, letting the chirps go in one ear and out the other. He figured this was just them being jealous of the duo’s chemistry).

As he finished up the last of his prep and sat down, his gaze was, once again, naturally drawn to his left.

Jay was always slower than most to get ready, primarily due to constantly getting distracted by conversations with teammates. Sunghoon watched him for a good minute, before his eyes landed on the loose strap under his chin. The older seemed to be about ready to head out onto the ice, but this wouldn’t do.

Just as Jay was about to turn around, after putting his stuff away, and head out, he was met with the black and burgundy jersey covering Sunghoon’s chest. The taller noted the all-too-familiar confused pout Jay often did, as he quickly fixed his helmet strap, before grabbing his own stick and heading out.

As he marched down the tunnel towards the ice, vaguely listening in to the in-depth discussion between Jay and Jungwon behind him, he felt a presence join him from the side.

‘’You two should just get married at this point.’’ Sunghoon met Jake’s grin with an unimpressed eyebrow raise.

‘’What are you on about?’’

‘’C’mon. Is Jay not able to fix his own helmet? Or tape his own hockey stick?’’

‘’ Just normal teammate things, Jake.’’ Sunghoon pointed out with an annoyed sigh.

‘’So why don’t you ever tape up my hockey stick, huh?’’ If Jake tipped his chin any higher he would topple over, Sunghoon thought.

‘’Fine, give me your stick.’’

‘’Keep your hands off my stick! Unlike Jay, I can tape up my stick just fine! Plus, you don’t even know how I like it!’’

‘’You like your blade untaped and your handle taped tightly, just at the top.’’

‘’… stalker.’’ Jake narrowly avoided Sunghoon’s shoulder punch.

‘’… you know how Jay is. If he does it himself, it ends up being sloppy, he forgets to wax it and then complains about it the entire practice.’’

‘’Until his prince charming fixes it for him.’’ Jake’s lucky Sunghoon finds his puppy-like visuals charming, because otherwise his fists covering his mouth and dramatic eyelash batting would definitely have earned him a shoulder punch that didn't miss.

They stepped on the ice, ready to start warming up.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

‘’Okay, it’s fine, we’ll get it. Let’s try again. Just… actually look for each other.”

‘’Jungwon, we can do this…just… focus.’’

‘’No, no, Sunoo- stay tighter to the boards! Don’t just float around!”

‘’Move up, move up! Don’t leave me out here alone!’’

 Jay’s frustration with his new linemates was obvious – and, well, easily heard even across the rink. Sunghoon watched from the other side of the ice.

The winger tried his best to keep himself calm. He was paired with Jungwon, who took immeasurable delight in testing his patience, and Sunoo, who felt zero pressure to yield to his orders – two particularly challenging youngsters to lead. Especially because Jay was definitely not famous for his patience.

Sunghoon smiled, wondering if this was the coach’s subtle way of giving Jay a challenge - payback for all the times his attitude made practice and meetings harder than necessary.

Just as he was about to start mentally narrating the new forward trio’s exchange like a nature documentary, his vision became obstructed by a blinding light.

…

On second thought, that might just be Ni-ki’s new annoyingly bright blonde hair.

‘’ Can I help you? I was just about to nail my David Attenborough impression.’’

‘’… your what?’’ The Japanese defenseman cocked his head in confusion, to which Sunghoon only waved his gloved hand in dismissal.

‘’Nothing, nothing. What did you need?’’

‘’The coach was calling us over for the scrims. You zoned out again.’’

Right, the scrims. Where they split the team in two, probably using all the new combinations and lines that aren’t used to each other, and hope for the best. Sunghoon didn’t need to take a wild guess how this will go.

*

As expected, the Vampires split into Team Black and Team Burgundy. To test new lines Sunghoon ended up on Team Black with Heeseung, Jake and Beomgyu as the forwards and Yeonjun as his defense pair.

Team Burgundy included the newly formed and already shaky forward trio of Jay, Jungwon and Sunoo, with Ni-ki and Kai as the defense pair.

The coach made a point of not allowing much strategizing or preparing – to get the players to think more about what they were doing. When he blew the whistle, signaling the start of their practice game, they were very much thrown in headfirst.

They started out normally enough. The first battles for the possession of the puck were quite evenly matched – Heeseung was experienced and calm, but Jungwon rose to the challenge with his quicker reflexes (almost cat-like, Sunghoon thought). Eventually, the puck came into Team Burgundy’s possession and Sunoo passed the puck to Jay.

Despite his usual habit of letting Jay’s voice pass by him, he kept glancing at the older player, trying to read his cues.

Trying to understand what he wanted.

Jungwon wasn’t much different either and so when Jay shot forward as soon as the puck and his stick made contact, they too tried their best to keep pace.

Jay didn’t look back. He let his skates carry him deep into Team Black’s defensive zone, as he was met with his former linemate anticipating his push. Jake charged him – more aggressively than the team is used to from the Australian, but Jay found a gap and managed to barely skirt around his side.

He smiled to himself, mentally checking off one of the threats, when he suddenly felt himself get bumped from behind. Before he realized, Jake caught up and managed to catch Jay off guard enough to steal the puck, passing it on quickly.

Jay spun around, cursed under his breath and made an effort to stay with Jake, as the game moved into his team’s defensive zone. Once he did turn, he couldn’t help but notice the empty space behind him.

Where the hell was Ni-ki!

On the other side, Sunghoon was quickly analyzing the situation in front of him. The puck didn’t stay with Jake long before Heeseung was rocketing down the center, looking for a chance to set up Beomgyu with a shot.

Beomgyu, a decent distance ahead of Sunghoon was meeting their captain’s eyes.

Alright, perfect.

Sunghoon could do this with his eyes closed at this point. He shot forward, watching Beomgyu meet Jungwon head-on.

Clear it and go.

Except Beomgyu didn’t. He hesitated for a second, looking for an opening in Jungwon’s defense, to redirect the puck, but the younger was quick. He knocked the puck behind Beomgyu, where Kai was waiting to pass on to Sunoo.

Sunghoon immediately realized Kai shouldn’t have had an opening there, but he didn’t give himself the time to dwell – not in the middle of a game. He adjusted, head and stick down, and made to follow his forwards in a chase after the puck.

Sunoo and Jungwon passed a few times between them before Sunoo aligned himself up for a shot he was about to take, when Yeonjun body blocked it. Jungwon managed to scrape up the puck again, redirecting it towards Jay, already in position.

The puck was again intercepted though, but Jay made no move on it, shifting towards the goal instead.

Realizing the puck was left free, the rink echoed with exclamations – even the coach yelled out.

Heeseung was quick on his skates and the puck was back in front of Team Burgundy’s goal in no time. Ni-ki and Kai defended aggressively however, and the center was forced to send the puck back to Sunghoon, as the collective of players shifted sides once again.

Sunghoon evaded a few bodies before noticing Jake ahead of him, open for a pass. He kept his eyes on him, as he waited for a cue to move into action. When Jake spun around, Sunghoon reacted instantly, the puck on its way towards the Australian.

Jake seemed to have been caught off guard however, as it didn’t take more than a few seconds for the puck to escape him. The game shifted back towards Team Black’s goal once again.

Sunghoon sighed deeply. The whistle couldn’t come soon enough.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

‘’Okay. That went about as good as we expected it to.’’

The entire team hung their heads, as sighs flooded the locker room. With gear thrown about everywhere and hairstyles much more avant-garde than before practice started, the locker room was a mess. Flushed, dewy faces made it clear how badly everyone just wanted the day to end.

‘’ That’s normal. Of course things won’t click immediately after changing the whole team structure. That’s the process.’’

A few heads lifted.

‘’ Tomorrow is another day. We’ll try again. Try to talk a bit more, you can’t expect to connect if you don’t communicate.’’

Slight nods rippled throughout the room.

The coach returned the nod. ‘’ Get cleaned up, grab something to eat, get a good night’s rest and see you tomorrow.’’

Jay was standing in front of his locker, halfway through ripping off his pads – helmet, gloves and jersey thrown about his bench – when he briefly met eyes with Sunghoon, who was still winding down, pads and jersey already put away (and much neater than Jay, might he add), leaned back on his locker, scanning the room.

He hadn’t seen much of Jay during the game, but his frustration was obvious even now. It was hard to tell whether it was directed at himself or his new partners.

He was just about to give the older a nudge, when a just-showered Jungwon suddenly appeared behind Jay.

‘’Hyung… My elbow pad kept sliding throughout the game. Can you check the fit?’’ Jungwon’s tone was quiet and subdued in a way Sunghoon wasn’t used to. His hair was damp, falling over his forehead and eyes in clumps, mouth slightly parted as he watched Jay silently work on his gear.

‘’… Hyung.’’

‘’…’’

‘’You’re mad.’’

‘’I’m tired.’’

‘’You’re angry with me and Sunoo-hyung.’’

‘’I’m tired.’’

‘’Not telling us how to improve isn’t helping anyone.’’

‘’I said I’m tired.’’ Jay’s sudden raised voice turned some heads.

‘’I’m tired from having to suddenly figure out how to play with completely new linemates well enough to win in a few days’ time.’’ He shoved the fixed elbow pad into the younger’s chest, before turning back towards his locker.

Jungwon seemed to have gotten the message and knew not to push Jay when he was like this. He murmured a thank you, before returning to his own spot across the room.

Sunghoon, who watched the entire exchange from his bench next to Jay, kept his gaze fixed on his now-former-duo’s burning gaze. He could tell the other was already miles way, churning over some probably-unhelpful thoughts.

He reached over and patted the inside of his knee lightly – just a few taps.

Jay took a second to pull himself out of his thoughts, head turning slightly before his eyes landed on Sunghoon, who only gave the former a tight smile. Jay didn’t return it, instead turning back towards his locker - putting away the last of his gear - but Sunghoon could tell his shoulders started loosening up already.

*

‘’ Looks like we have some work to do.’’

Sunghoon was enjoying the crisp, cool March air and quiet of the parking lot, waiting for his captain, when his voice sounded behind him. Heeseung’s breath fogged Sunghoon’s view, before the elder joined him, balancing on the curb.

Sunghoon could only chuckle grimly, swaying back and forth lightly, hands shoved into the pockets of his puffer jacket.

‘’ Yeah. Coach is asking a lot of us with this one.’’

Heeseung looked up at the greyish sky, watching another foggy exhale dissipate above him.

‘’ He’s trying to give us hope. And even if we don’t end up winning the cup, or making it to the playoffs for that matter, this will still be a useful experience.’’

‘’I’m not sure how us floundering around like loose baboons experiencing ice for the first time is a useful experience hyung.’’

Heeseung laughed out loud, and even Sunghoon couldn’t help grinning at his own joke.

‘’ We weren’t that bad.’’ The elder bumped sides with him before continuing: ‘’ What I mean is, many of us have been used to doing things one way all this time. Maybe this is a chance to broaden our skill sets, work out new combinations.’’

Sunghoon hummed in reply.

‘’ Hopefully it never comes to it, but if one of us gets injured – knock on wood - being able to switch things up to cover up for him and not immediately crumble as a team doesn’t sound too bad.’’

Sunghoon stopped his sideways swaying to grin at his hyung incredulously.

‘’… knock on wood?... are you my grandma or something?’’

Heeseung sighed, before taking a wooly-gloved hand out his coat pocket, jingling his car keys.

‘’Call me grandma again and you can walk home.’’

The younger raised his hands in surrender as he picked up his bag off the ground and followed Heeseung to his car.

As Heeseung battled with his heating system, Sunghoon leaned back and scanned the parking lot. He spotted Jay’s car immediately, all too familiar with it.

They must still be inside.

Just as Heeseung exclaimed in victory and finally started the engine, Sunghoon spotted his two same-age friends. Making their way out the entrance, they kept shoving each other back and forth. Sunghoon smiled at the obvious contrast in their moods – Jake’s grin and Jay’s scowl evident all the way from Heeseung’s passenger seat.

As they slowly rolled past them on the way towards the parking lot exit, Jay – shoving his gear into the back seat – looked up just in time for Heeseung to wave at him gently.

Except his gaze never slid over to the elder, instead immediately attaching itself to Sunghoon, their eyes meeting.

Sunghoon swore he could see a smile form on his (former-)duo’s lips, before the latter turned around and got into the driver’s seat.

As they finally pulled out onto the road, Jay and his car leaving their view, Heeseung and Sunghoon began talking about one thing or another, like they always did on their drives to and from the ice rink.

Neither of them spoke too loudly or quickly. Sometimes minutes would pass before a reply came. Sunghoon enjoyed how their dynamic had always had this unspoken, unhurried rule.

A few minutes went by, the only sound breaking the silence being the radio. ‘’What are you smiling about over there?’’

Sunghoon lifted his head in confusion. ‘’I’m not?’’

Heeseung only chuckled. Apparently the younger had no idea that he kept smiling wistfully the entire drive home.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The next few days blurred together into a smudge of drills, video reviews and meetings. The line changes didn’t fix everything, not immediately at least. Their practices were littered with small corrections, quiet frustration and miscommunications begging to spill over.

And yet, recently, Jay often found himself starting on another correction on Jungwon’s form or Sunoo’s pace, before realizing the correction wasn’t even needed. Their trio was starting to shape up.

Although it was no cause to celebrate. The three of them had been among the last to really start matching up.

Practices kept running long, but the team was noticeably stabilizing. Their spiral seemed to stop and the losses stopped being complete blowouts. Wins still slipped away from them most of the time, but the goal differences started shrinking.

By mid-March the locker room started to feel lighter – not confident just yet, but also no longer hopeless.

Although there was still some bubbling underneath the surface left unaddressed.

*

Jay preferred being on ice over their gym sessions, like most of the team, but it did give him some time to think things over.

He was in the middle of bench lifts, thinking about strategies he wanted to try with Jungwon and Sunoo, when a voice broke him out of his thoughts.

‘’I admire your ambition Jay-ah, but you might wanna slow down on the reps if you still wanna be able to pick up a stick later.’’

Jay was caught off guard momentarily, faltering mid-rep - luckily Jake was quick to notice and stepped in to help him rack the bar.

Jay sat up on the bench, exhaling hard. He nodded at Jake in quick thanks, his jaw tight. Stuck in his thought process, he hadn’t noticed when he passed his usual rep count.

‘’See? Don’t overdo it on those noodle arms of yours.’’ The younger squeezed Jay’s biceps playfully, laughing when the older retaliated with a scowl and an annoyed push.

Jay’s build was just fine. More than fine, for what was needed of him.

‘’This is what I get as thanks for saving you.’’ Jake sighed dramatically as he walked over to the next station, apparently only stopping by Jay to bother him during his move.

Jay took another minute to wipe his sweat and chug some water, before lying back down. Giving his arms a light shake, he began his reps again, this time staying focused.

So focused in fact, that when he finished the set and racked the bar – which he could do by himself just fine - he was startled for the second time. Heeseung was on the side of the bench press, leaning against a neighbouring machine.

‘’Hey.’’

‘’Hey.’’

If it was anyone else, Jay would’ve gotten annoyed at the repeat interruptions. Different team members had different workout styles and Jay preferred to be left alone. But his captain was the only one Jay wouldn’t dare snap at.

‘’I wanted to talk to you about the last few practices.’’ Jay could only nod, still catching his breath.

‘’I noticed you, Sunoo and Jungwon had been figuring out your communications and cues. I’m glad.’’

The tone at the end of the sentence didn’t match the sentiment, only spurring on Jay’s interest in his hyung’s sudden desire to chat.

‘’Yeah, they’ve been surprisingly open to…changing things.’’

Heeseung chuckled lightly, both of them understanding the subtext perfectly.

The elder was one of the first to truly reach out a hand towards Jay, when he first joined the team and was also surprisingly good at understanding his complex character.

Jay wasn’t an idiot. He knew he had flaws - he just struggled to rein them in.

‘’Getting you three in order will be a huge boost in the upcoming games.’’ Heeseung paused for a beat.

‘’ I’m relying on you Jay-ah.’’

Jay felt a burst of warmth throughout his chest. Heeseung and him were not the closest on the team, but Jay would be lying if he said he didn’t secretly seek the elder’s approval.

‘’But…There is one thing I’ve been worried about.’’

Heeseung stopped again, giving Jay a measured look.

‘’You and Ni-ki…’’

Ah.

‘’I couldn’t help but notice you two aren’t talking much in practice…Or before… Or after for that matter. And the Pirates game on Saturday, Jay-ah…’’

Jay could only sigh, as Heeseung rubbed a hand over his forehead, eyes squeezed shut.

~

The Saturday game against Mapo Pirates had been a relative success for the team – generally speaking.

For Jay? Not so much. He had been trying his best, of course, but mistakes kept finding Jay for some reason.

At the end, he pushed for a goal, only to have his puck stolen. The line behind Jay stayed open, where he assumed Ni-ki would be.

When Ni-ki realized the Pirate forward broke through, he scrambled to defend, but it was too late.

Jay could still hear the horn ringing in his ears, signaling a goal for the Away team.

He still remembers the cold words he exchanged with Ni-ki, before leaving the ice.

‘‘You gonna cover, or should I do your job too?!’’

‘‘Not my job.’’

‘’Right. Of course it isn’t.’’

Looking back, Jay wondered what Ni-ki’s problem was. Sunghoon would’ve easily had that, so it’s not like Jay did it on purpose, he really did think Ni-ki had it covered.

~

‘’We’re still working on it hyung. Ni-ki is being a bit … difficult.’’

‘’…’’

‘’What?’’

It was Heeseung’s turn to sigh as he chose his next words carefully. ‘’Is Ni-ki being difficult or are you not giving him a proper chance?’’

‘’What is that supposed to mean? I keep waiting on him to work with me, but instead he keeps resisting.’’

‘’If that’s your idea of being open to work with him, I don’t blame the guy!’’

Jay shook his head and started gathering his belongings, glancing at his wristwatch – noting the time constraint to complete his session.

‘’Hyung, I appreciate the concern, but I’m not the problem here. Now if you don’t mind, I promised Jungwon I’d join him on the stairmaster.’’

Heeseung only smiled in defeat, before letting Jay walk past. He met eyes with Jake on a machine nearby, who could only shrug.

*

By the time the team finished up for the day, most of them usually made their way to the rink’s concession stand or someplace nearby to grab a bite.

Sunghoon, noting most of his teammates decided to eat out that day, opted for the concessions, hoping for a less crowded, quieter lunch.

After declining Jake’s invite to join them for pizza, and bidding him goodbye for the day, he let his grumbling stomach guide his way. He passed some Yongsan Vampires Hall of Fame displays, stopping only briefly to gaze longingly at some black-and-white photo of a long-forgotten lineup, celebrating their season’s cup.

As he turned a corner and waited for the automatic doors to open, douse him in the delicious smells of the rink’s surprisingly good culinary attractions, he spotted him.

Jay was standing at the counter, scanning the menu on the light-up signs above. He was wearing an old worn-out hoodie of a team he and Sunghoon supported as teens.

Back when Sunghoon’s dad bought them their matching pieces of merch, the hoodie seemed to engulf the shorter, but now he filled out the garment nicely – his shoulders broader, back firmer than before. Sunghoon realized that seeing his childhood friend almost every day for years meant such changes had flown under his radar.

‘’You still have this?’’

Jay was mildly startled by the sudden presence beside him, before looking at Sunghoon in confusion. Following the other’s gaze to the loose threads and washed-out print of his top, he smiled.

‘’My parents came over to check on me the other day. Dad found this, washed it up and brought it over. I guess that’s his way of attempting to comfort me, which is better than ‘Hey I know your team sucks right now, but I’m proud of you’, I guess.’’

Jay’s smile widened seeing Sunghoon laugh. They broke conversation only briefly to order and grab trays, moving to wait by the end of the counter, their shoulders brushing. Sunghoon felt warmth radiate from their contact point.

They exchanged a few quips and jokes, before a comfortable silence settled around them. Jay looked around, noting the few ice rink staff occupying the seating areas had left, leaving the two alone.

He felt Sunghoon’s gaze lightly burning the side of his face, turning to meet his eyes.

‘’How have things been? Y’know, with Jungwon and Sunoo… and Ni-ki.’’ Sunghoon suddenly felt a great need to look at anything but Jay’s face, preparing himself for the worst - even though he wasn’t sure what that worst even was.

Jay’s smile dropped into an overexaggerated snarl.

‘’The kids are testing my patience every day, I swear. Although the two gremlins have finally started listening to me. Ni-ki on the other hand…Well, he’s not you that’s for sure.’’

Sunghoon turned his head back towards Jay.

‘’Is that a… good thing?’’

‘’Of course not.’’ Sunghoon released a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

‘’He’s impossible - he never listens, does things on his own, he-‘’ Jay continued rambling as the concessions employee brought out their food, as the two lifted their trays and made for the closest table and even after sitting down, setting up their utensils and drinks.

‘’So, you’re saying you miss me?’’ Sunghoon’s shaky eyes betrayed his seemingly confident smile.

‘’Obviously.’’ Lips pursed, Jay grabbed Sunghoon’s fork and used it with his own to mix and stir his meal. The younger wasn’t sure, but he felt like Jay was trying his hardest to not look up and meet his eyes.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The Lions match was one Sunghoon had been looking forward to. They had been the first to start the domino-like string of losses for the Vampires and he felt a rematch was in order.

What he certainly didn’t expect though, was to leave the match with an even bigger vendetta against the Gangnam team.

The match started out normal enough. He was reminding himself to be mindful of his coach’s advice. He had been told he was ‘doing too much’ and covering moves Beomgyu hadn’t yet made, although it was hard to unlearn what he had been used to for years.

Despite having to spend a bit more time thinking than acting out of habit, the game flowed cleanly enough. They were tied 1-1 and they kept the pressure on the Lions, not letting up on their attack attempts.

He finished a pretty aggressive shift on the ice, returning to the bench to switch with Ni-ki and Yeonjun, who took off immediately, to help Heeseung, Jake and Beomgyu defend, before making space for them to switch in too.

Jay entered the ice soon after and Sunghoon realized one of the few advantages of the switch, had been the opportunity to watch his friend from a different point of view.

Jay sped ahead as always, looking for an opening to receive Sunoo’s pass and shoot. He looked back as he slipped through the opposite team’s defenses and Sunghoon followed his gaze. Ni-ki was keeping up, but hesitated, seeing two of the Lions gather to defend, and stopped for just a second.

The sound came first.

A sharp crack against the boards, loud enough that the entire bench flinched.

Jay stayed down.

Jay wasn’t moving.

Long enough that the medical staff were already stepping over the boards.

The game stopped with the official’s whistle.

Just as their staff started crowding Sunghoon’s view, who was now standing and leaning over the boards with wide, panicked eyes, he spotted the tiniest bit of movement.

The bench exhaled, as the forward slowly gathered himself off the ice, with the help of one of their trainers and the Lion who knocked him off his skates.

The neon-green-jersey player raised his hand in apology, Jay waving him off and slowly sliding towards the bench, his expression still dazed.

Sunghoon watched as the staff guided Jay down the tunnel, taking him to get checked out.

His jaw tightened.

He’s okay. He’s walking, he’s okay now.

His chest felt tight, his heartbeat drumming so loudly he could barely hear the rink.

He gripped the boards tightly, when Ni-ki joined him on the bench.

*

The Vampires barely made it into the tunnel, after the horn released them from the 2nd period, when Sunghoon grabbed Ni-ki by the collar of his jersey. He pushed the younger towards the wall.

‘’ You were right there’’ Sunghoon would’ve looked strangely calm, if his shaky, low voice didn’t give him away.

‘’Hyung, how was I-‘’

‘’You were right. there.’’ Each word brought Sunghoon closer into Ni-ki and Ni-ki harder into the wall.

‘’Alright! Break it up!’’ Heeseung didn’t waste time before grabbing Sunghoon and tugging him off the young Japanese.

Sunghoon only gave their youngest a sideways glare, before shrugging off his captain’s hand, still lightly grabbing hold of his jersey. He walked away, as they both watched him in shock.

Despite having the perfect build for it, the defenseman rarely got aggressive, or lost control for that matter.

Heeseung shook his head. He was fearing Jay and Ni-ki’s stand-off would not end peacefully, but the rift was already deeper than he’d thought.

He patted Ni-ki on the back, straightening out his jersey. ‘’You good?’

The youngest nodded sullenly, head hung lower than Heeseung had ever seen on the usually-confident defenseman.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Fortunately, the collision looked much worse than it was and Jay was essentially fine, spare for a few bruises. Still, the coach insisted he took a couple of days off, not only to give his sore body some rest, but also his recent plays some thought.

That was right after the coach scolded him harshly – and for the first time, Jay didn’t leave the conversation feeling wronged.

He had a tendency to take anyone’s criticism with a grain of salt, most of the time they just didn’t understand his play style – his vision.

But now, Jay was starting to slightly doubt. Doubt what exactly, he didn’t yet know.

~

Immediately after the crash his chest flared with a hot, burning flame of anger. Clutching his ribs, Jay’s eyes, snapped to Ni-ki on the way to the bench, glaring holes into the younger’s unreadable expression.

Too slow. Out of position again.

He didn’t even register the medical team moving around him and checking every inch, until one of their doctors waved a hand in front of his face, interrupting the anger still simmering beneath his bruised skin.

After the doctor asked many more questions than Jay was in the mood for, he was left to rest. One of their team staff asked if he’d like some music or perhaps the live feed of the game to break up the silence, but Jay refused.

The few-seconds of his crash, repeating in his mind over and over, were all he could see or hear anyway.

The space was supposed to close.

During the intermission after the second period, the team descended on him like hawks – mother hawks that is.

Jake was immediately right beside him, bombarding him with questions with wide eyes. Jungwon poked him gently, while trying to lighten the mood with teasing and Heeseung stood nearby, Jay returning the elder’s ‘just-checking-in’ nod.

Despite being overwhelmed by his teammate’s different flavours of care, Jay still noticed a distinct lack of Sunghoon in his vicinity. Or anywhere in the locker room really.

And Ni-ki too.

Only towards the last few minutes of the team’s break did the two enter with the coach right on their tail. Their heads were both hung low, but whereas Ni-ki’s eyes were dark and downcast, Sunghoon’s were burning in a way Jay hadn’t seen many times before.

They both sat in isolated areas of the locker room, away from the team. The coach gave them all some last instructions, before sending them out for the last period.

Despite everything, the team felt hopeful about the draw their current score sat at, as they stepped out onto the ice.

The horn echoed throughout the rink, announcing the end of the match.

Yongsan Vampires 2 – 3 Gangnam Lions

~

Jay had replayed the exact scene more times than he could count. It followed him everywhere.

His bedtime thoughts in the evening after the game, the first blink the next morning.

When he closed his eyes in the shower, in the dark bubbly surface of his coffee and the slight burn-marks of his toast.

The angle he had taken.

By the time Jungwon knocked on the door that afternoon, Jay was exhausted, his brain reduced to an infinitely repeating cassette.

‘’I brought takeout.’’ Jungwon set down the plastic bag on the counter, before helping himself to a drink from his fridge. The latter had no energy left to tell him off for getting so comfortable in his home.

Jungwon spent a short while catching Jay up on all the happenings of the day’s practice, before a silence settled over them. Jay’s apartment was dark – interior-wise, but the low lighting wasn’t helping, the open plan lit only by a few warm, gentle lamps.

It was only then Jay noticed the dark sky outside, speckled with bright city lights below. He didn’t even realize most of the day had gone by already.

‘’Jungwon-ah.’’

The younger only hummed, looking up briefly from the yogurt lid he had been licking.

Jay was about to nag at him for practically emptying his fridge (it was still full), before deciding to let it go this one last time.

He had something more important on his mind and no one else to talk to about it but him.

‘’I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m trying to connect with Ni-ki, but he keeps refusing to work with me!’’

Is that really it?

Jungwon gave him a pointed look. The younger had thought about the possibility of his hyung bringing up the incident, but at the same time, knowing Jay, he wouldn’t have been surprised if the elder attempted to brush it under the rug.

‘’Hyung, do you remember what Heeseung-hyung said to you? In the gym?’’ Jungwon continued after Jay’s face contorted in confusion.

‘’When he asked if you are truly trying to work with Ni-ki or just expecting him to do what you want?’’

‘’Wait… how do you know this? Did Heeseung hyung talk to you about this??’’

‘’I overheard - just that bit though. You promised we’d do stairs together so I went to look for you. Assumed you’d be asleep on the mats in the corner.’’ Jay scoffed incredulously.

‘’When I found you talking to Heeseung hyung, I overheard that you were talking about you and Ni-ki, so I didn’t want to disturb you and went back. Felt like that was a conversation you needed to hear.’’

‘’… so you have been talking with Heeseung-hyung.’’

‘’He’s worried. Mostly because the answer to the issue is simple but you and Sunghoon-hyung seem to be too blind to see it.’’

What?

‘’What does Sunghoon have to do with this?’’

‘’Everything, hyung.’’

Jay sighed and got up off the couch he’d been occupying for hours. Frustration building up once again, he started cleaning up the littered coffee table and fixing up the blankets and pillows. Aggressively.

‘’ I’m being serious here Jungwon! If you really think this is the time for one of your guys’ stupid jokes about us-‘’ Meeting the younger’s eyes stopped Jay before he could finish the sentence.

The younger, sitting on the barstool in front of the counter, yogurt lid long discarded, was giving him a look Jay didn’t see often – his eyes didn’t show a single inkling of amusement.

Jay’s mouth snapped shut, as his arms slowly slid against his sides, the blanket he was folding slipping from his grasp.

Jungwon had obviously been preparing for Jay to fight back, but he wasn’t aware of the inescapable loop his brain has been on. Usually, he’d reject most criticism and feedback – didn’t feel like he needed it – he knew what to do, when and how to do it.

But this time, even Jay had to admit he fucked up.

This time, he didn’t have an excuse. 

This time, he was ready to listen.

He was ready to open the pandora’s box he’d been avoiding for years – that maybe he wasn’t doing everything right, at least not recently.

But he still didn’t understand what any of it had to do with him.

‘’What are you trying to say?’’

‘’You get away with stuff when you play with him.’’ Jungwon removed himself from the stool, walking over way too casually for his tone.

‘The reason why you’ve been able to get away with your pushing and reckless play is because Sunghoon-hyung makes it work, when it shouldn’t. Most of those plays should end exactly how they did last night.’’

Huh.

Jay suddenly really wanted to be anywhere but here, his eyes darting around the room.

‘’You keep expecting Ni-ki to be Sunghoon-hyung. But no one else would – could – do what Sunghoon-hyung does. You need to realize that and give Ni-ki a chance to play with you as himself, not who you wish he was.’’

Jay knew the second he brought this up, that Jungwon would definitely give him an answer to his problem – but he also knew he probably wouldn’t like the answer.

Oh, how right he was.

Honestly, he did expect Jungwon to call out his reckless plays – Jay was aware enough, he knew he could be pushy and sloppy. But what he didn’t expect was Sunghoon to have anything to do with this.

At some point Jay ended up back on the couch, who knows how many minutes had passed. He kept mulling over Jungwon’s words, trying to make sense of them and not immediately deflect and delete from memory, like he usually would.

The revelation was sparking something in the deepest parts of him, something he wasn’t quite ready to dig up just yet.

He’d need a nice aged Brandy for that, at the very least.

When Jay finally zoned back in, brain mushy and exhausted from an entire day of thinking, he couldn’t hold himself back anymore.

‘’Seriously Jungwon?!’’ The younger was back on the barstool. The packaging of the takeout, which Jungwon bought on his way to Jay’s place, was now sitting on the counter outside the plastic bag, lid open.

Jungwon was poking and prodding at Jay’s dinner, as if he hadn’t eaten at the very place he bought it from, before coming over, and robbed Jay’s fridge the second he got there.

Jay was beside him in seconds, snatching the fork and closing the lid, as the younger only giggled mischievously.

‘’Alright, go home already! One of us has practice tomorrow and it sure as hell isn’t me!’’

‘’I don’t know hyung, you seem perfectly fine to me.’’

‘’Out!’’

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

After another day’s rest, Jay was back to practice. Although it had only been two days, Jay felt like it was his first time on ice again – not so much because of the time spent off it, but more because he was forced to rethink every move.

He spent the day after Jungwon’s visit looking back at the weeks since the change. Although he didn’t want to admit it out loud, he was starting to see what Jungwon meant.

Even though Jungwon telling him so bluntly, meant this had to have been something the team had known for weeks if not months.

Years?

While sat in the locker room, gearing up for practice, Ni-ki had approached him. He tried apologizing, but Jay cut him off quickly with a raised hand. Before the younger could misunderstand, Jay took the blame for the incident and promised to be more open to conversation.

Ni-ki, rightfully so, seemed a bit hesitant to believe his hyung’s sudden change, but nodded and ended the exchange at that.

Jay, however, made good on his promise and truly did try to understand where he had been going wrong. He spent that day’s practice checking in with Ni-ki over and over, to the point that the defenseman got creeped out and begged him to stop.

Jungwon ended up stepping in, when Jay - half-hanging off of Ni-ki - kept shouting about personal growth and ungrateful youngsters (he’s not even 30 yet).

Jay remembered, as he was escorted away by Jungwon to a different drill, what Ni-ki was like, when he first came to Korea, after being drafted by the Vampires. Jay helped him a lot with communication and getting used to his new home.

He could only imagine how hard their period of tension must’ve been on their youngest. Despite being the type to stand his ground when he felt wronged, being quite tall and muscular, the Japanese defenseman was quite a softie underneath.

Speaking of defensemen though…

Jay looked around the rink, while waiting on his turn with the goal shots. He kept scanning the ice until his eyes landed on a specific defenseman.

When Jay came back from his two-day rest, he hadn’t expected anything to be different between him and Sunghoon, but his childhood friend suddenly seemed distant. He hadn’t given him more than the tiniest nod, that first day back. And they hadn’t really spoken since.

It was an odd change from the last time they properly talked – the day they had lunch.

He was confused. And a little hurt?

He didn’t have many chances to try and talk to him though, because Sunghoon seemed to spend most of his time with Heeseung and Beomgyu.

Jay hadn’t realized the latter and hishis friend had been close.

And he also hadn’t realized Beomgyu needed help getting his stick taped. Jay watched the taller silently fix up the loose tape after practice on their second day and a weird new feeling started bubbling in his chest.

That feeling didn’t disappear – it only kept getting worse, until on the fourth day of Jay being back, it bubbled over.

Sunghoon skated over to him during one of their practice breaks. Jay hadn’t finished his drills yet and because of his unsatisfying execution, decided to keep practicing into the break.

The younger opened his mouth, while keeping his gaze on the ice, looking like he had something to say, but words never left him. After a few beats, he pulled a water bottle from behind him and silently offered it to Jay.

Jay stood there, unmoving, staring at his childhood friend with a coldness that visibly took the younger off-guard.

‘’I didn’t realize Beomgyu needed babysitting.’’ He didn’t take water bottle. ‘’He’s a professional hockey player, I’m pretty sure he can tape his own stick.’’ The words were out before Jay could think.

Sunghoon kept opening and closing his mouth for a few moments, unsure of what to say.

Jay ran out of patience and skated off, drills forgotten, with his chest buzzing, hands shaky.

Sunghoon threw his head back, closing his eyes and sighing deeply.

*

Jay might’ve missed two days of practice but the new-found chemistry between him and Ni-ki seemed to a light a fire in him. The entire bench pounded the butts of their sticks on the floor, the coach shouting encouragement, as he raced passed their team’s bench.

The plays and strategies Ni-ki and him had been working on since Jay’s return, were working like magic against the Guro Dragons. They scored a goal in each of the two previous periods, while leaving the Dragons scoreless.

Sunghoon could only watch in awe.

Until their group rotated in and switched with a fresh set of players, and Sunghoon felt a void open in his stomach.

Ni-ki sat right next to Jay – whose side was pressed tightly against Sunghoon on the full bench - excitedly talking about the amazing shot they set up just earlier. It was unfortunately saved by the Dragons’ goalie, but neither of them seemed particularly dejected about it.

They kept chatting animatedly, when Ni-ki reached down and grabbed two bottles, offering one to Jay, who took it mindlessly and unscrewed the cap with his teeth before drinking.

The younger mindlessly took the bottles back, put them away all while never stopping their talk: ‘’… and then at the end – that was a great read hyung. Didn’t think the guy had it in him to try.’’

Sunghoon made no move to inject himself into the conversation. He clenched his jaw tightly and his stick even tighter.

This was what the team needed.

That didn’t make it easier.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

After weeks of playing in their home rink, the time came for the Vampires to pack up and travel for a series of away games.

Their bus rides are usually quiet, most of them prefer using the time to catch up on some rest or take some alone time to think.

Jay was the former. He had originally sat alone, but was joined by Jake, who ran late and sat in the first unoccupied seat he could find.

Despite usually not lasting longer than a couple of minutes without bickering, Jay and Jake enjoyed being seatmates – Jay would usually nap and Jake often listened to music – both leaving the other in peace.

He ended up sleeping for most of the ride, but Jay did stir a few times throughout – just to glance around and see if the world had experienced Armageddon yet - or if Jungwon poured water on him while he was asleep.

The younger tended to get bored quickly, on such long rides.

During one such moment of wakefulness, he glanced directly across the aisle and saw Beomgyu talking to Sunghoon.

Very animatedly, might Jay add.

Sunghoon, usually also the type to just relax - maybe event take a nap - was leaning against the window, only vaguely listening to Beomgyu’s ramblings.

Before they took off, Jay pretended not to notice when Sunghoon got on the bus, faltering for a second beside Jay’s still-empty second seat. He ended up opting for the seat opposite Jay instead.

Jay chuckled lightly at the thought of Sunghoon planning on sitting alone and relaxing, only for Beomgyu not letting him achieve either.

Then he remembered he was still mad at Sunghoon, the feeling gnawing at him, but he shoved it down and went back to sleep.

*

By the time the Vampires stood in the hotel lobby, a heap of their large hockey bags forming an impressive pile near a larger seating area, Jay was not fully awake yet.

Later, he’d look back on this moment and wish he was, because he would’ve been able to protest the coach quickly skimming over the roommate assignments.

Every season they’d decide on a room partner and room with that partner practically every away game. To no one’s surprise, Sunghoon and Jay immediately picked each other during that meeting - like every year - and showed no sign of wanting to change at any point.

Before Jay could register it, he was riding an elevator with Sunghoon beside him.

Beside him was generous – Jay thought if the other tried any harder to keep his distance, he might fuse with the wall.

Their entire process, from lobby to elevator to room, was silent. No words exchanged, no gazes met.

Jay led the way, after snatching the key from their slightly-concerned captain, Sunghoon letting him walk one step ahead at all times.

They each settled into their own beds after doing whatever unpacking was necessary. Their arrival in the afternoon meant they had a few hours to kill before dinner time.

The time absolutely dragged on for Jay, both of them silent, scrolling the couple of hours away on their phones.

When the ground floor restauraunt's opening time approached, both got up a few minutes early, only a few basic words were exchanged - agreement to head down.

Jay felt if he stayed in the room even a second longer, he would’ve suffocated.

He hated it.

He hated the fact that anyone could see they were on the outs.

He hated the fact that if anyone asked, he had no answer as to why.

Nothing happened between them.

Well, besides that minor exchange where Jay got annoyed at Sunghoon for giving Beomgyu everyone attention but him.

But Jay had a tendency to be a bit moody and such minor squabbles were normal for them. Sunghoon knew how Jay was and never took any of it to heart, never stayed mad at him or held a grudge. Even when actually fighting, they tended to get over it pretty quick.

Jay didn’t understand what was happening. And it made him angry.

They rode the elevator in silence once again, Jay’s head bubbling with thoughts and irritation at the man beside him. Entering the lobby, they spotted a few of their teammates already camping out the dinner buffet.

Jay peeled away from his roommate as soon as he could.

He spotted Sunoo among the few small groups. The two spent most of dinner discussing the hotel and its amenities, critiquing the bed sheets and talking about possible plans to go check out the area on their day off.

Jay had already finished dinner, leaning back in his seat while Sunoo worked through the four different desserts he’d picked. That’s when he felt a few gazes on him.

He looked over, spotting Sunghoon standing at the coaching staff’s table, stopped by the coach to talk while going for seconds.

Jay couldn’t hear what the discussion was about, but he had a few guesses. He kept meeting Sunghoon’s eyes, but the younger instantly flinched away whenever it happened.

The endless cat-and-mouse game with Sunghoon grated on Jay’s nerves, turning back to Sunoo, urging him to finish the last of his parfait.

Jungwon joined their table soon after, having eaten his dinner with others, but never able to stay away from his two favorite targets linemates too long.

Getting fed up with waiting on him, Jay bid Sunoo (and Jungwon) goodbye and returned to the room alone. He tried his best to not think about how despite always looking away first, Sunghoon’s eyes seemed unable to stay away from Jay for long.

He sighed in gratitude as the elevator doors finally opened, power-walking to the door and reveling in the cool, quiet, empty room. He didn’t know why, but writing it off as laziness, he ended up dropping onto Sunghoon’s bed, face up.

It was closer.

He groaned as he stretched his back, running his arms up and down the smooth sheets, taking a minute or two to wind down.

If he rolled onto his side, catching a faint whiff of Sunghoon lingering on the sheets, and stayed there a minute longer, breathing it in, no one needed to know.

It’s only obvious though, to miss your best friend of 10+ years, after he suddenly started distancing himself from you for no apparent reason.

Eventually, he decided to get in the shower while he was still alone and didn’t have to discuss who goes first with the number one person he didn't want to talk to right now.

He took his time, slowly washing up, letting himself just stand under the steaming hot water of the shower. Brain turned off, he hoped the water could somehow wash away all the stress collecting in every crevice of his body.

At some point during the shower, he vaguely registered sounds outside the bathroom, but lost in thoughts about the upcoming game, he completely spaced on the fact he had a roommate.

Jay stepped out of the bathroom in just a towel and noticed Sunghoon sitting on the edge of his bed, staring off into space before finally registering Jay’s presence.

The latter stopped in his tracks. He waited - observed Sunghoon, but he didn't meet his eyes. Instead they locked onto Jay’s bare chest – and the water droplets sliding down it ever so slowly.

Jay wasn’t sure what the issue was – seeing your teammates in various states of undress was completely normal among hockey players.

And the two, having knowing each other since a very young age, had certainly seen each other in such states long before becoming familiar with locker rooms.

Jay scoffed, before breaking his pause and stepping over to his carrier, quickly pulling out something comfortable to change in to.

With no plans to leave the room for the day, he muttered a quick ‘you can go’ to the other, who was still sitting on his bed, unmoving. Sunghoon only nodded, entering the bathroom quickly.

Before long, the two were lying in their respective beds, duvets pulled up, phones on chargers, the mixing scents of their body wash clinging to the room.

Jay was back to scrolling on his phone but could see Sunghoon lying on his back, seemingly staring at the ceiling.

An unsure silence hung over the room, for an unknowable amount of time, before Sunghoon spoke up, voice gentle and low: ‘’You and Ni-ki have improved.’’

Jay only glanced at him briefly, before returning his attention to his phone. ‘’We sorted out our issue.’’

‘’I noticed.’’

A few beats of silence passed, Jay refusing to continue the conversation Sunghoon was apparently trying to start.

Although he felt a squeeze in his chest when forcing himself to ignore the other.

“…The captain pulled me aside. A couple weeks back.”

Jay really wasn’t in the mood for this.

But still, because it was Sunghoon, he nodded, letting the arm holding his phone fall onto the bed, showing the other he had his attention.

“He said I was doing too much. Covering ice that wasn’t mine. Fixing plays before they happened. Said Beomgyu felt constantly pressured to do something.”

Jay’s curiosity was immediately peaked. He sat up, turning his head towards Sunghoon, who was still lying back, arms behind his head, eyes transfixed onto the ceiling,

‘’ He wasn’t wrong. I play different when you’re out there. I stop playing like part of a team. I play like it’s just… you and me.’’

Jay felt his breath hitch, the air suddenly too thick in his lungs. His eyes kept darting all over Sunghoon’s face. Several moments passed before Jay realized Sunghoon wasn’t going to say more.

‘’… Jungwon told me something similar. After… the hit… with the Lions.’’ Sunghoon finally turned his head sideways, not quite meeting Jay’s eyes just yet, but close.

‘’Are… are you okay?’’

Jay wanted to be angry.

He wanted to be furious at Sunghoon – for everything. But instead, he felt the irritation and frustration dissipate in his chest. He breathed a sigh, making up his mind.

He nodded, giving Sunghoon a half-broken smile.

‘’Yeah. Just a few bruises. Much less dramatic than it looked.’’

Sunghoon was now also upright, having rotated sideways on his bed – towards Jay – and looking right at him. His face was one of slight worry, but Jay’s words seemed to have brushed some of it away.

‘’I’m glad… that you weren’t hurt…What did Jungwon say to you?’’

Scratching the back of his neck and looking around the room, Jay recalled the conversation in his home. ‘’He said that I play sloppy – I already knew that. But then he said… the only reason it’s worked at all is because you were there.’’

‘’I didn’t believe him at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I saw it. I wanted to talk to you about it at first, be all ‘look at the millionth joke jungwon and the others tried to make about us not being just teammates haha’… but at that point we were already… like this.’’

Jay gestured vaguely at the space between them, noting Sunghoon’s lack of reaction to his joke. Sunghoon opened and closed his mouth a few times, before seeming to settle on his next words.

‘’I thought if I stepped back, you’d have room to figure things out, without me interfering.’’

‘’You could’ve said something, you know. You didn’t have to just… disappear.’’

Sunghoon nodded sullenly, eyes on the carpeted hotel floor.

Jay sighed, using the most dramatic, exaggerated tone he could, as he stretched, looking around the room again. ‘’But I guess you didn’t have time since my replacement needed all your attention anyway.’’ He chuckled, but the tightening in his chest at the mention of Beomgyu unnerved him.

Sunghoon didn’t need to know Jay was only half-joking.

Sunghoon, however, didn’t miss a beat. ‘’He asked for help.’’

Jay’s smile dropped into a thin line.

The two just sat for a while, watching each other.

Processing.

The conversation didn’t get much further and both decided it was best to turn in for the night, prioritizing rest for the next day’s game.

But rest didn’t come easy for Jay.

He laid on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

Refusing to glance to his right, at the other’s bed… at Sunghoon’s broad back lightly rising and falling.

He hadn’t expected to talk to Sunghoon that day. Not like this.

But despite their progress, Jay lay awake far longer than he should have.

Strangely aware of every sound Sunghoon made on the other side of the room - the shift of sheets, the steady rhythm of his breathing.

And how Sunghoon seemed impossibly close, yet endlessly far.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The last of the away games was the match they’d been dreading and looking forward to all this time. The match deciding whether they make it into the playoffs – whether they get a chance at this season’s cup.

Most of the preceding games went better than expected – everyone had been putting in the work to better themselves, and with it, the team.

It was finally paying off. They won a decent amount of the games – enough to still have a chance.

They only needed to win this one last game.

Their matchup was against the Tokyo Moonwolves, who they last played at the start of their spiral. This time, the Vampires were determined to end the night differently.

And it showed in their game – they pushed hard in the first period, but the result stayed 0 – 0. In the second period the Moonwolves upped their game and the Vampires were forced to go on the defensive – they held well until they had to give up a goal in the last minute.

Picking themselves up, they entered third period with an unprecedented drive and ended up drawing the Moonwolves at 3 – 3.

But the match needed a winner. So they went into overtime, sudden death style – first goal decided the match.

In the break between third period and overtime however, things started looking a bit grim.

Jake had made a move to defend and save the puck towards the end of the third period, preventing a fourth goal for the Tokyo team. Unfortunately, his knee pain would not let him participate in the overtime fight.

The rest of the team was tired too, Heeseung in particular. He was exhausted, still nursing a minor injury from a previous game. The captain, however, insisted on playing.

The coach took some time to discuss with the other trainers, until approaching the team again. He stopped, hand still on his chin, considering his options.

‘’ Let’s not risk further injuring Jake. Let’s have Heeseung and Sunghoon stay as before. Their third…’’

Jay’s heart skipped a beat as the coach’s eyes landed on him.

‘’Jay. I’m counting on you.’’

Jay’s eyes widened, eyes shifting at his teammates. If he was looking for an uncertain, unconfident gaze, he didn't find it.

He only nodded, not quite letting go of his surprise just yet.

Heeseung gave a short pep-talk to the team, motivating everyone to finish this up quickly and cleanly, but mostly quickly.

After the Vampires shared a quick laugh with their exhausted captain and did their team cheer, they made their way down the tunnel and onto the bench.

Jay looked to his left, at Sunghoon walking beside him. The two stopped in front of the blinding rink lights, sharing a smile and fist bump.

They can do this.

*

The ice felt so wide with just the three of them and the goalie.

Too quiet.

Overtime, with its 3-3 format, had a way of making you acutely aware of all the space you – and your opponents – suddenly had.

The puck dropped.

Possession fell into the Moonwolves hands but Heeseung was quick to steal it away. Sunghoon caught the pass and followed his two forwards deep into their opponent’s space.

He scanned ahead, noticing both Heeseung and Jay a similar distance away.

He passed to his captain, trusting him to organize the attack. Jay stayed with him, on the other side of the Moonwolf trio.

Sunghoon followed, but kept his distance, closing any avenues of attack.

Jay circled around their defender, staying open for a pass, not too far ahead to force Heeseung to take a risk.The pass came quickly and Jay immediately took a shot-!

The pole rang as the puck deflected off it and the three Vampires raced back.

The exchange went back and forth a few times before Jay snatched the puck, as a Moonwolf missed the pass reception. He slid down the side of the rink, pushing the puck ahead towards the opposite goal – until he flew into the boards.

Sunghoon didn’t think.

He just moved.

Before he could register it, he was shoving his stick at the Tokyo player’s chest.

The Official’s arm in the air, announcing a penalty for Sunghoon, was what broke him out of his daze.

''Yongsan #23, 2 minutes for roughing!''

…fuck.

As Sunghoon made his way to the penalty box, he glanced sideways – Jay didn’t look at him.

Maybe it was better that he didn’t.

A fourth Moonwolf joined their trio on ice for the power play – the punishment for Sunghoon’s misconduct. Ni-ki also hopped over the boards - as his replacement, while Sunghoon served his penalty.

He really fucked up.

For the next two minutes, the Moonwolves had the advantage.

If they scored now, it was over.

As the play restarted, Sunghoon could feel the anxiety over their side of the rink. They needed to hold on. Sunghoon watched them from the box, heart drumming against his chest.

They defended frantically. Ni-ki redirected any shots he could towards Jay and Heeseung, letting the two take away pressure from their defensive zone – their goalie.

Sunghoon kept glancing at the clock, hoping desperately each time he looked up for the power play to be over. For the seconds he handed away to run out.

A cold sweat rushed down his temples.

And yet somehow, somehow, they were holding on. A few close calls had half the rink clutching their chest, including the Vampires' bench, but the horn didn’t go off.

C’mon, c’mon. Just a little longer.

Sunghoon’s leg bounced with tension.

Finally, the signal came - the powerplay ended. And the Vampires managed to evade a goal.

The fourth Moonwolf returned to the bench and Sunghoon quickly bumped Ni-ki before the youngest did the same.

Sunghoon felt his mind buzzing. From the overstimulation, the guilt, the anxiety - and the certainty that this was his mistake to fix now.

*

The vampires were all flushed, glowing faces as they stumbled, loudly, into the restaurant a few blocks from the ice rink.

They won.

After the power play ended, there was only a good minute left in the overtime but their work paid off. Jay created an opening and waited for Heeseung to be in position. Sunghoon stayed behind the two, covering their tails.

Heeseung moved.

Jay passed.

Heeseung scored.

After the first round of celebrations in the locker room, the coaching staff making quick calls to find a place nearby to host the team, they showered and left the ice hall.

The restaurant was already packed and lively when the team got there - warm yellow lights, hot humid air fanning off the open grills.

The Vampires and their staff ended up being brought to a bigger room in the back. The staff quickly began serving drinks. The food kept coming in waves, never enough to feed the celebrating, but exhausted athletes.

Jay felt Sunghoon’s thigh pressed against his. The younger was nursing his second beer, obviously starting to feel its effects. Jay couldn't stop the smile forming on his lips, himself choosing to not drink anything but ice tea that night, much to his teammates' protests.

At some point Jay ended up getting his fill of various grilled meats, standing up to take a break from the stuffy, humid air starting to weigh heavily on his chest.

‘’Let me come with you.’’

Before Jay could refuse, Sunghoon was already getting up – grabbing Jay’s wrist for balance, warmth blooming under his skin.

They managed to slip out without too many of their teammates questioning them, stepping out into the slightly breezy night. They ended up sitting on the curb, a small distance from the loud laughter and golden light of the restaurant.

Jay breathed in the fresh air, noticing Sunghoon staring ahead.

‘’How drunk are you right now?’’

‘’I’m not, just a tad tipsy.’’ Jay laughed, pointing out the very noticeable flush on Sunghoon’s pale skin. Jay knew Sunghoon wasn’t drunk, but he still teased him nonetheless.

After the back and forth, a silence settled over them.

Jay was glad they were going back to normal. He really was.

…was he?

He didn't know what came over him, but he felt like if he didn't ask now, he wouldn't have the courage to later.

‘’Sunghoon… what was that today?’’

Sunghoon turned to him slowly, eyes wide and confused. He looked almost cute like this.

‘’When I got checked by the guy. You rushed over like a storm and started pushing him around like crazy. You never do that.’’

Jay watched him sigh, digging his hands deeper into his jacket pockets.

‘’…It reminded me of the Lions game. I didn’t like the idea of us not playing together since the start, but in that moment, I absolutely hated it…Because if it was me on the ice back then…’’

Jay scanned Sunghoon’s face, the younger’s gaze now locked onto the road.

But Sunghoon never finished the thought.

Neither spoke for a good while.

‘’We’re gonna win the cup.’’

Jay whipped his head at Sunghoon, a surprised chuckle filling the silence at the sudden topic change.

‘’Oh yeah? What makes you so confident?’’ Jay kept smiling as he played with a rock under his shoe, rolling it back and forth.

Sunghoon’s answer didn’t come though and Jay had to check if the other fell asleep while sat on a curb.

But when he looked up, Sunghoon was very much awake – stare boring into Jay.

They sat there, gazes connected and unmoving.

Sunghoon kept staring at him with intent, but not saying anything.

He didn’t need to, however.

Jay understood.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The horn kept ringing in Jay’s ears long after the sound ended. The rink was booming loudly with cheers and music.

They did it.

They won the cup.

After barely making it to the playoffs, they kept elevating their game and rocketing into the final. It was the end of the season - their legs burned, shoulders ached. Nobody was at a hundred percent.

But none of that mattered now – with the cup hoisted high into the air.

The team crowded the ice, coaching staff nearby. Jay could feel the constant bump of bodies against him, as they jumped and cheered collectively.

Heeseung paraded the cup around the rink first. It made its way throughout the team, until Ni-ki shoved it into Jay’s arms, smile saying many more things than the crowd would ever know.

Jay observed his own reflection in its shiny, silver surface. He was flushed, eyes glassy, hair sweaty and sticking to his forehead. The rest of the team didn’t look much different.

After quickly looking around the hall, he skated away with intention.

The audience slowly started clearing out, so finding his parents was pretty easy. They were in the stands, both wearing Jay’s jersey, pressed together side by side, as they watched their son and his team with proud, teary smiles.

Jay lifted the cup. His eyes stung and watered, remembering the effort and care they put into helping his career.

His dad got Jay into hockey, his own career short-lived. He was the one who planted the dream of winning the cup in his son. It was indescribable - getting to win not only for himself but his dad, who never got the chance.

His mom supported them both immensely. Jay was incredibly grateful for all lunchboxes she made for him before practice, among other things. And all the times she picked him and Sunghoon up from the rink, buying them fries to-go.

After waving to his parents one last time, he felt hands on his shoulders. He vaguely heard Sunoo’s voice urging him to bring the cup into the team circle, for one last cheer for the camera, before being pushed like a sled.

He squeezed between Sunoo and Jake, looking around, noticing one missing head. Not seeing him anywhere, Jay peeled off the group and scanned the ice.

There you are.

Sunghoon was standing at the boards, watching his parents and sister wave goodbye, as they followed the crowd leaving the rink.

Jay couldn’t help the fond smile as he watched the younger slowly turn around and glide up to him.

‘’They were absolutely exploding with excitement.’’

Sunghoon only scoffed in return.

They weren’t.

Sunghoon’s parents never really loved his career choice, and spent quite a few years attempting to convince their son to switch over to figure skating. Sunghoon knew they were doing it out of worry of him getting hurt in such a physical sport, but it wasn’t easy – not having them be as excited about it as he was.

Knowing that, Jay always tried his best to assure him when they were younger, until Sunghoon stopped seeking their approval eventually.

‘’It doesn’t matter what they think. You proved you have a right to be here.’’

‘’We did, yeah.’’

‘’Sunghoon, I’m-‘’ ‘’C’mon guys, are we doing this or what?!’’  

Jay let his unspoken words hang between them for just a second, sharing an irritated but amused glance with Sunghoon. They both sighed, before being crowded by their teammates.

*

Celebrations didn’t end for quite a while.

At some point though, the team was herded back into their locker room, the whole collective buzzing with pride and joy. They kept talking, singing, dancing - to the point that the coach had to come warn them to get changed and go home already.

The game ran very late and it was decided they would hold a team celebration dinner another day.

Eventually, the locker room started clearing out. Jay was sitting on the bench, packing his guards and socks, when the last of his teammates waved goodbye, leaving him alone in the room.

Well, alone besides Sunghoon’s gear on the bench next to him.

At some point, when Jay was still dressing up after his shower, Sunghoon neatly packed all of his things, set them on the bench and left the room, Jay only vaguely registering him leaving, mid-coversation with Sunoo.

He readied the last of his stuff and left it on the bench, leaning his bag against Sunghoon’s. He got up to go look for the other, but something stopped him at the door to the locker room.

A sudden thought caused him to turn around, his gaze immediately drawn back to his locker.

He had a feeling he knew where to find Sunghoon.

He hurried back to his bench, grabbed his skates, laced them on haphazardly, before speed-walking down the tunnel. He stopped at the boards, separating the bench area from the ice.

For a good few seconds, Jay was frozen.

The ice hall was dark, the only light coming in from the ceiling windows. The lights outside the rink cast a gentle white glow over the hall.

Sunghoon was standing there, in the middle of the ice. He had already changed into a hoodie and jeans, skates the only part still left over of his hockey gear.

His hands were stuffed in the front pocket and he occasionally slid a small distance in random directions, seemingly in deep thought.

Jay thought he looked beautiful.

A few beats later marked the moment Jay realized, what his brain conjured up.

But for once, he had no issue with the thought.

Eventually, he snapped out of his daze and slowly made his way onto the ice.

At first, Sunghoon didn’t notice him, but a slightly louder slide of Jay’s skate against the ice snapped his gaze onto Jay’s approach.

Jay felt his chest bloom, seeing Sunghoon’s expression mellow out, upon recognizing him in the dark hall. Jay crossed the distance between them slowly.

Their expressions mirrored in the gentle smiles and fond eyes.

Jay made a decision before stepping onto the ice – the decision to stop thinking.

And just do.

He removed his hands from his pockets, before caging Sunghoon in a tight embrace around his middle. The other was caught of guard, but wrapped his arms around Jay before the latter could second-guess himself.

They stood there, holding each other for many moments.

Then, Sunghoon pulled back, looking at Jay’s face.

‘’ We did it.’’ Jay grinned.

‘’I told you.’’ Jay smacked. Sunghoon’s shoulder, that is.

‘’You had to ruin it.’’

Sunghoon’s laughter echoed in the large, empty space. Jay, only mildly annoyed, poked his side softly.

After Sunghoon’s laughter died out, his smile faltered slightly.

‘’We did. We won the cup. Just like we always dreamed we would.’’

‘’…I’m glad… that we did it together.’’

‘’I never imagined it any other way.’’

They let the silence envelop them, both reminiscing on their childhood days, sitting on the bench of their neighborhood ice rink. Back then, all their imagined scenarios of winning the season - reaching the top -  had been only wild scenarios to pass the time.

To think they not only succeeded, but did it side by side.

Jay once again reminded himself of the silent promise he made before stepping onto the ice.

No more second-guessing.

‘’I… I think I love you, Sunghoon.’’

Jay fiddled with the strings of his own hoodie, his heart beating impossibly fast. His gaze kept jumping between Sunghoon’s widening eyes, growing smile and anywhere else.

Then, Sunghoon scoffed dramatically.

‘’You… think?’’

‘’I’m like…99% sure.’’

Sunghoon, now laughing again, kept trying to step into Jay’s view, the latter whipping his head around to avoid Sunghoon’s prodding eyes.

Neither of them able to back down, they ended up chasing each other around the rink, conversation forgotten. Jay kept running away, evading and slipping through small cracks – his specialty, when on ice.

And Sunghoon kept chasing. Ice kept spraying around them as they made sharp turns, scarring the ice with their skates. Jay laughed as he slipped out of Sunghoon’s grasp again.

Minutes of their chase dragged on, thanks to their professional hockey league stamina, but eventually Sunghoon caught up to Jay - grabbing him by the waist, spinning them in a circle to a slow stop.

After crossing the rink multiple times, they ended up near the bench area again, and Sunghoon gently pushed them towards the boards.

They sat on the boards, side by side, chests heaving. Their laughter softened, breaking into small, breathless chuckles as they kept meeting eyes.

Jay was suddenly very aware of Sunghoon’s cologne mixing with his natural scent right next to him, feeling the warmth between their arms and sides, as they pressed closer.

Sunghoon’s expression hardened, before locking his gaze onto Jay, eyes unmoving. Jay could feel the light feather of Sunghoon’s icy breath on his cheek.

‘’I love you too. Think I always kind of have.’’

If Jay’s heart started beating any faster, it might just ricochet out of his chest.

Sunghoon lifted himself off the boards, moving to stand between Jay’s legs, their skates lightly bumping.

He brought his face into Jay’s, foreheads and noses almost touching. His voice was low and gentle, when he whispered to Jay.

‘’It’s always been you, Jay.’’

Jay felt the universe was torturing him, as the time, between Sunghoon pressing their foreheads together and their lips finally meeting, seemed impossibly slow.

He linked his arms around Sunghoon’s neck, whose arms wrapped around Jay’s waist, pressing their bodies closer.

There was no fireworks or a wow moment.

There was no horn to pull them apart.

No one came to drag them off the ice.

It felt like a moment years and years in the making.

It felt right.

It felt like home.

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──