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Space was quiet. Keith was grateful for it.
It was the one thing about the desert that he had really liked; living alone in the middle of nowhere meant less people, which in turn meant less noise. Engines he could deal with. Alien spaceships? No problem. White noise like the background chatter at the garrison was easy. But living in close quarters with 6 other people posed a whole new problem that Keith had almost forget he had.
It was one of their calmer days. Keith was feeling less asocial than usual and found himself abandoning the training deck in favour of seeking out someone to talk to. Or just sit with. Whichever was fine, he didn’t know what he wanted to talk about anyway. He couldn’t locate Pidge, Shiro, Allura, or Coran, but he found both Hunk and Lance in the control room; Lance at the far end of the room with a datapad in his hands and Hunk closer to the entrance, sitting on the floor amidst several piles of wires and miscellaneous Altean tech
Lance was apparently too engrossed in his datapad to even look up as Keith entered the room, but Hunk stopped fiddling with his project for a second to greet Keith warmly. “Hey, Keith, what’s up?”
Keith shrugged. “Nothing. Got bored of training today,” he said, shifting his weight to his other leg and glancing around the room, feeling a little self-conscious. How did friendly conversation go, again? “Um, what are you working on?” he asked, gesturing to the pile of half-built tech sitting in front of Hunk.
Hunk’s eyes lit up. “Oh! Dude, only the coolest thing since solar power! Sit down, lemme show you!"
Keith went to sit down beside Hunk, and as he did, he saw Lance out of the corner of his eye lift his hand and suddenly a quiet slurp was heard from the other end of the room. Keith immediately turned to stare in Lance’s direction in time to see the other boy set a glass of water down beside him. Lance had a drink. Okay, this was fine. It wasn’t that bad. There were worse noises to deal with. Keith turned back to Hunk and tried to focus on what the yellow paladin was explaining to him but he had become distractingly aware of the presence of Lance and his water glass behind him.
“So we’re out in space, right,” Hunk was saying, talking fast and excited. “And there’s stars everywhere, because stars are, you know, in space. Okay, that was obvious, but that isn’t my point. So our sun is a star too and we’ve been powering things with solar power for ages now and the other day I was thinking—”
Keith heard Lance take another drink behind him and felt his whole body tense up, involuntarily being ripped away from Hunk’s words and hyperfocusing on the noise behind him. He took a deep breath and clasped his hands together, squeezing his fingers until he could feel himself starting to relax again. Hunk didn’t seem to have noticed.
“—too far away to harness their energy the same way that we did on Earth, I know, but I think I can change that. It’s been taking a while but I think I’ve finally figured out a—”
Keith heard another slurp from behind him and he tensed again, a low growl escaping him before he could control himself. He opened his eyes to see Hunk staring at him in confusion. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” said Keith, mentally slapping himself for letting his reaction show. He shot Hunk what was hopefully a reassuring smile. “Keep talking. What about solar paneling?”
Hunk hesitated before speaking again. “Yeah, so anyway, I was saying that I think I finally figured out how to harness solar energy and potentially use it to help power the castle. Now, I know that we already have a decent power source but I thought that with all the suns we pass frequently when we travel to different planets it would be a nice clean way to get—”
Keith abruptly sucked in his breath and bit his lip as another offending noise rang out from behind him, causing Hunk to cut himself off again. Hunk looked a little concerned at the second interruption. “Are you sure you’re—”
“I’m fiiiiiiiiaaarrrghhhhhh,” Keith growled, closing his eyes and bowing his head, trying to calm himself as Lance took another obnoxiously loud slurp of his drink.
Hunk looked slightly alarmed now. “Dude, you don’t look fine. Are you feeling sick? Do you need me to get you a glass of water or something?”
“No!” Keith said, much louder than he had intended, wincing as he realized his voice was shaking. “I’m fine,” he continued, managing to keep his voice under control this time. “Seriously. It’s not a big deal, just keep explaining.”
“What are you guys talking about?”
Keith wanted to cry as he watched Lance approach them, carrying his cup with him. Was it really that important to drink so much, Keith thought irritably, as Lance sat down entirely too close for comfort, completely unaware of Keith’s inner sensory turmoil. Keith noticed with dread that Lance was choosing to hold the cup rather than put it down on the ground, promising more noises to come soon, and Keith honestly wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand them.
“Oh, is this that solar energy thing you were telling me about the other day?” Lance asked, not sounding supremely interested. He raised the cup to his mouth again and Keith immediately looked away, the mere motion of the cup being raised causing anxiety to spike through him. The only problem with this was that he had no warning now before the sound reached his ears, and he clenched his fists as hard as he could as he tried to prevent himself from lashing out and acting on the wild urge to slap the cup out of Lance’s hands. It’s not that big of a deal it’s not that big of a deal it’s not that big of a deal—
Lance took another particularly long sip from the cup and Keith finally couldn’t take it anymore.
He stood up abruptly, staring determinedly at the ground, and bit out a short “I have to go,” before turning and making a beeline for the door, walking as fast as he could without outright sprinting. He could hear Hunk cry out his name in surprise and Lance murmuring something that sounded like “what’s his problem?” but he didn’t pause, speeding up until he was running, until he had put significant distance between him and the control room. He slowed to a halt and pressed his back against the wall, sinking down until he was sitting with his knees bunched up in front of him, his fingers flying to cover his ears as the ghost of a trigger sound lingered in his memory. He closed his eyes and quietly started to hum, not even a tune, just a steady drone, anything to block out that noise, that awful, awful noise—
“Keith?”
Keith’s eyes snapped open and he looked up with a small gasp of surprise. Hunk was standing over him, looking down at him with concern. “Alright, I know you said you were fine before but I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that there is definitely something going on that I’m not aware of.”
Keith shook his head stubbornly. “There’s nothing. Nothing. I’m fine.”
“Why are you covering your ears?” Hunk asked, confused. “We’re in one of the quietest parts of the ship.”
Keith dropped his gaze to focus on his knees, biting his lip as he could feel tears of frustration beginning to well up in his eyes. “It’s nothing,” he all but whispered, fingers curling in his hair. “Go back to your work.”
Hunk sat down next to him. For a while neither of them spoke. This area of the castle was indeed peaceful; the only sound was the quiet distant hum of the ship which was barely loud enough to qualify as noise. Hunk's prescense was comforting beside him and Keith slowly felt himself start to calm down. He slowly uncovered his ears and brought his hands down from his head to hug his knees closer. The panic was fading from his system and while he was still incredibly tense he wasn’t in danger of crying anymore.
“So,” said Hunk, slowly, not looking at him. “You wanna talk about it?”
Keith sighed, looking away down the hallway. “It’s n—“
“Don’t say it’s nothing because it obviously is,” interrupted Hunk. “Something, that is. Something’s getting to you.” He paused. “Was it me?” he asked, his voice soft.
Keith turned to him in bewilderment. “Of course not. Why would it be you?”
Hunk shrugged. “I dunno, maybe you were really bored of listening to me talk?”
“If I didn’t want to hear you talk I wouldn’t have asked you to explain to me what you were up to,” Keith said. “Why would I pretend to be interested if I wasn’t?”
Hunk shrugged again. “Yeah, I guess you’re not the type to do that. So what was it then? Was it Lance? No, it couldn’t have been, he didn’t even come over for a while and you were already acting uncomfortable…”
“It was Lance,” said Keith reluctantly, deciding he didn’t want to make Hunk play guessing games. “But it wasn’t…Lance. Specifically. It just happened to be him.”
Hunk squinted in confusion. “Mmkay, you’re gonna have to explain this one to me slowly, bro, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Keith sighed and started to anxiously pick at the cuffs of his gloves. “It’s…really dumb,” he said quietly.
“Try me,” challenged Hunk.
Keith finally lifted his head and met Hunk’s determined expression. Hunk was kind. Hunk wouldn’t laugh at him or judge him for this. If it had been anyone else Keith would have kept the words down, continued to hide it and suffer in (relative) silence, but he couldn’t imagine Hunk ever looking at him weirdly or—God forbid—using it against him. Keith’s mouth twisted in indecision, one last fleeting thought of should I before Hunk added, “I’m not gonna judge you, I promise.”
Keith let out the breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Okay.” He resumed picking at his gloves, feeling incredibly self-conscious. “I can’t…handle certain noises.”
There was a short pause before Hunk said, “Like…?”
“Like people drinking,” said Keith. “And chewing. And swallowing. And coughing and clearing their throat and tapping their fingers and scratching their head. There’s more, a lot more. But that’s the gist of it. And Lance was drinking something and I just…couldn’t take it. That’s all.” He paused, waiting for Hunk’s reaction worriedly. “I know it’s stupid,” he added. “But it’s some weird sensory thing I have and—“
“Misophonia,” Hunk said. Keith looked up.
“What?”
“It’s called misophonia,” repeated Hunk. “Right? I read about this once, I think, it’s a sensory disorder described as a ‘hatred of sound’. Like, waaaay beyond just being annoyed at a random noise someone’s making, y’know? Lance was making a trigger noise and it was sensory overload for you. I get it.”
Keith stared. “Y—you get it?”
Hunk smiled and shrugged. “Well, I don’t understand on your level because noises don’t bother me. But I understand what happened. Man, I had no idea…what other noises bother you?”
“Um…” Keith blinked. “Well…pretty much everything I listed before, but it depends on the person who’s making them. I’ve never been triggered with any eating noises Shiro makes but whenever he taps his foot on the ground I can’t handle it. Pidge drives me crazy when they drink things but not when they eat. Lance is just annoying in general.” He paused. “Sometimes you too. Um. When you clear your throat. No offense.”
“None taken, you can’t help that,” said Hunk sincerely. “It must be really hard to live like that. Is this why you prefer to be on your own most of the time?”
Keith shrugged, looking away again, but he felt much more relaxed now, even feeling his mouth twitch with the urge to smile with the pure relief that his secret was out to somebody who was actually listening to him. “Kinda. Generally I’m just introverted but I guess that’s also a part of it.”
Hunk beamed. “Cool.” He balked, looking apologetic. “I mean, not cool, supremely uncool, really, but hey, man I’m glad you told me what’s bothering you. I could probably make you some earbuds or something to block out the noises if they get really bad.”
Keith finally smiled. “Thank you, Hunk. That’s…really kind of you.”
Hunk clapped him on the shoulder before standing up. “Hey, that’s what friends are for!” he said cheerfully, extending a hand to help Keith up. “Did you wanna come back and hear more about my project? I bet Lance has finished his drink by now.”
“Alright,” Keith agreed after a pause. “I’ll come back but if he’s still there I’m leaving.”
“That’s fair,” agreed Hunk. “Are you…gonna tell Lance about this?”
Keith pursed his lips. “I wasn’t going to.”
“It might be good to,” said Hunk reasonably. “It might seem weird to him at first but I think letting him know so he can stop unknowingly causing you to freak out would be good.”
“Or it would just give him more ammunition to get on my nerves,” grumbled Keith. “That’s why I don’t…that’s why I don’t tell anyone.”
He could still remember the last time he’d gathered the courage to speak up and ask a girl at the garrison if she would stop chewing her food so loudly at lunchtime. The girl had merely looked confused, but her friends had instantly spied an opportunity to mess with Keith and obnoxiously began chewing louder on purpose, giggling at their supposed harmless teasing because they had no idea what it was doing to him. He hadn’t sat with them again and from that day on had refused to let anybody know what was wrong with him, even Shiro, when he had developed a cold one day and was clearing his throat every ten seconds and was confused when Keith had to excuse himself whenever Shiro entered the room.
Hunk was smiling at him reassuringly. “I don’t think Lance would do that. He teases, but he’s not cruel. Besides, he likes you, he wouldn’t want to put you through anything bad on purpose. And if he does, I’ll…” Hunk winked and made a fist, pressing it into his other hand. “Give him a stern talking to.”
Keith huffed out a quiet laugh. “Thanks, Hunk. Thanks for listening to me.”
Hunk just smiled and led him back to the control room in silence.
* * *
Lance looked up as Keith and Hunk re-entered the room. “There you are! What was that all about, huh?” he called to Keith from his position on the floor in front of Hunk’s half-finished solar device. With relief, Keith spotted the empty water glass lying knocked over on the ground about ten feet away.
Keith glanced at Hunk, who gave him a smile and a double thumbs up before sitting down to keep tinkering with his project. Keith looked down at Lance and said, “Sorry, you were annoying me.”
Lance looked affronted. “How was I annoying you?! I was literally just sitting there!”
“Correction,” said Keith dryly, pointing at the offending water glass lying forgotten some ways behind Lance. “You were drinking. And making noise.”
Lance stared at him blankly. “You were annoyed because I was drinking. Wow, this is a whole new level. This just in: Keith annoyed at Lance for merely existing and performing basic human functions.”
Keith frowned and crossed his arms defensively. “Look, I have sensory issues, okay? I’m not…asking you to stop living your life normally or anything, because that would be really unfair, it’s my problem that I have to deal with, I just want you to know. That I have…misophonia. Certain sounds trigger me. You don’t have to understand it, just don’t…use it against me.”
He braced himself for ridicule, but it didn’t come. Lance merely looked surprised. “Really? Oh, I’m…sorry, I didn’t know it was that big of a deal.” His surprise morphed into guilt. “Sorry. Again. Really.”
Keith graced him with a smile. “It’s fine. Thanks, Lance.”
From the floor, Hunk quietly coughed.
Lance whirled on him. “Hey! Didn’t you hear what Keith just said? He has sensory issues, man, you can’t do that around him!”
Hunk held up his hands defensively. “I didn’t--! That wasn’t bad, was it?”
Keith was laughing quietly into his hand. “It was fine. Lance, you don’t have to police everyone, I’ll deal with it.”
Lance shrugged and stood up to retrieve his water glass from the floor. “Your funeral. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get a refill, and stay—” he wiggled the glass between his fingers for emphasis. “—in the kitchen with it.”
Keith took Lance’s place beside Hunk as Lance left the room, humming under his breath. “That…went better than expected.”
Hunk was smiling knowingly. “I told you everything would be ok. Lance is a good guy. Though I wouldn’t put it past him to start bugging the others about it now that he knows. If you wanted to keep it a secret I think by now it’s too late.”
Keith shrugged and found that he didn’t really mind anymore. “It’s fine. Let them know. Maybe it’ll make dinnertime easier on the ears.” His mouth quirked upwards in a small smile. "And if anyone gives me shit over it I have you to...what was it...give them stern talking to's."
Hunk winked at him before turning back to his solar device. "I got your back, buddy. You can count on me."
* * *
The next morning Keith left his bedroom to find a pair of noise cancelling headphones on the floor in front of his door. They were white with red trim and had a scrap of paper taped to the top with a single smiley face drawn on.
Keith smiled.