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New York, New York: A Comedy of Errors

Summary:

The laws of jujutsu society, of which Stephen Strange is only vaguely familiar with, prevent him from divulging information about, or taking down the special grade curse that's been terrorizing the Stark Industries building. Luckily, he calls a colleague, and backup is in the way from Jujutsu High School!

Unfortunately for the first years, and the oblivious Peter Parker who was not briefed on any of this, said backup must blend in for a week as Midtown students.

Unfortunately for everyone involved, blending in means going on that miserable field trip to Stark Industries.

Notes:

This is absolute crack born of the dark twisted nature of my mind. I'm not sure what else to say.

Chapter Text

STARK INDUSTRIES

        “They’ve attacked three times already this month. We’re currently averaging one attack per week,” Tony Stark said, flipping through images of damage caused to the Stark Industries building and surrounding areas, “at this rate we’re bound for another any day now.”

       “So, what’s your plan, Tony?” Steve Rogers asked, leaning forward in his chair from across the briefing room “We need to stop these attacks before they start damaging more than just infrastructure. If civilians get injured and the Avengers were useless to prevent it so close to our own headquarters…” Steve trailed off.

        “I know, I know.” Tony mumbled, running a hand across his face.

        “Currently,” he continued gesturing broadly with his hand to the end of the table, “the plan is sitting on that side of the room.”

        The plan in question, Thor, Stephen Strange, and Wanda Maximoff, looked tensely at the screen. For weeks now, mysterious creatures have been attacking Stark industries. So far, the Avengers have been unable to stop the attacks, or even defend against them, because the only ones who can see the creatures are the two magic users, and Thor.

        “Unfortunately, Stark, I will not be able to defeat these creatures. There are some aspects of sorcery that I don’t expect any of you to understand, and this is one of them. As sorry as I am for the damage for this building, I will not be helping.” Dr. Strange said, standing up from his chair to leave.

        “So, what if you won’t help?” Wanda asked “That still leaves me and Thor. We can tell everyone where they are and how to attack if necessary.”

         Dr. Strange rolled his eyes, sitting back down, “You obviously didn’t understand me. None of us can do anything about this. There are lines I know better than to cross in terms of sorcery and this is one of them. This also means that whatever you do reflects on me, and I refuse to deal with the consequences of your actions.”

        Clint cleared his throat, turning to face Strange, “The way you’re talking about this sure seems like there’s something you know and you’re not telling us.”

        “Yes.” Dr. Strange replied, nodding.

        “So, you can’t tell us, you can’t help, and you can’t tell us why you can’t tell us or help, am I right so far?” Tony asked. Strange nodded again.

        “What can you do Strange? Is there anything at all?” Steve questioned.

        After a lengthy pause, Strange sighed, and pulled out his rarely used cellphone.

        “I can call someone else, someone actually qualified to deal with this, and see if they’re willing to send someone to help…”

        “You better hope they answer, Strange.” Tony paused “Because if not, we’re going after these things anyways, consequences or not.”

 

TOKYO JUJUTSU HIGH SCHOOL

         Ieiri Shoko hung up the phone, cigarette dangling between her lips as she huffed in frustration. Whatever was going on in New York didn’t stop at just evil robots or alien invasions. Now, apparently all the commotion had given rise to enough negative emotion to create a special grade curse.

         When Stephen Strange, an old medical colleague and American sorcerer, called to tell her there was a strong curse that the avengers were about to attempt and take on themselves, she knew things had gotten bad.

         “Oh Shoko!” Gojo grinned, peaking his head into the doorway of the infirmary.

         “Gojo,” Shoko smiled, finally putting out the cigarette she had been nursing for the better part of an hour, “what can I do for you?”

         “Not much really, I just need you to clear Megumi for head injuries in a couple of minutes. He’s sparring with Panda right now and let’s just say we’ll be working on his close combat skills in the future.” Gojo laughed.

         Shoko nodded, preparing what she would need for when Megumi made his way in.

        “Hey Gojo, have you ever been to New York City?” She knew he hadn’t but asked anyways. Gojo tilted his head, propping himself up against one of the metal tables in the room.

        “Can’t say I have, why?”

        “Well,” Shoko began “I have a colleague in New York, and American sorcerer, whose dealing with a pretty strong curse, a nasty first grade as far as I can tell. He would’ve taken care of it himself, but he can’t. Not only is he a public figure there, which would draw attention to the existence of curses, generating a greater amount of fear, and thus more curses in its wake. Additionally, he’s not actually a jujutsu sorcerer, so the elders would take offense to him dealing with what they consider their business.

        “I see…” Gojo nodded, “So he’s asking for help from a jujutsu sorcerer to stay under the radar and avoid confrontation with jujutsu society.”

        “Will you go to New York and deal with it? I told him I don’t do field work.” Shoko asked with a grin.

        “Why not? It could be fun to explore a new city! Plus, the first years could really use the training experience. Tell your friend we’ll be there tomorrow” Gojo laughed, exiting the room to track down the first years.

        “Thanks, Gojo.” Shoko waved him off, re-directing her attention to her phone to let Strange know she had re-enforcements coming.

 

STARK INDUSTRIES

        Stephen Strange looked down at his phone screen. It didn’t take long for her to get back to him, texting not only that there were sorcerers coming to his assistance in New York tomorrow, but that one of those sorcerers was Satoru Gojo. The two had never met in person, but everyone who had heard of sorcery had heard of Satoru Gojo. Any worries Strange had about this cursed spirit had been eliminated. Satoru Gojo was coming to help them.

         Walking back into the room where the rest of the avengers currently living in the tower were situated, he held up his phone to indicate he got a response.

        “Help will be here tomorrow. We don’t need to worry about anything else until then.” Strange said, swiftly turning back around to begin his exit of the tower.

        “Wait, hold on a minute,” Tony replied, “who are we trusting our lives, and the safety of New York with right now?”

        Strange looked at him seriously.

        “The strongest sorcerer to ever live.”

TOKYO JUJUSTU HIGH SCHOOL

        “Gojo, this might be the greatest assignment you’ve ever given us,” Nobara unfolded her arms from the annoyed position they took on upon getting told they had more work to do, “think of all the shopping I can get done in New York!”

        Gojo prepared to explain the mission to the first years, waiting for them to get over the initial excitement of traveling abroad.

       “Gojo, if you can teleport, wouldn’t it be easier for you to go to New York City right now and deal with the curse yourself? I’m super excited, but why are we going with you?” Yuji asked, tilting his head to the side.

        “Excellent question, Yuji,” Gojo began, clasping his hands together dramatically “I think this would be an excellent training opportunity for you three. It’s also no fun to travel to a new place by yourself, and I wanted the company.”

        Megumi shook his head, turning towards his fellow first years.

        “Nanami refused to go with him and the second years are busy dealing with a special grade curse that’s taken out half a dozen people already. We are literally the school’s last resort.”

        “That too!” Gojo nodded with a smile, “Pack your bags you three, we leave tonight.”

        The first years locked eyes with each other, a silent acknowledgement of this being another mission where they do most of the work, and Gojo pokes fun at them from the sidelines.

        Nobara sighed.

        “I’m bringing an extra suitcase; I won’t let this stupid curse prevent me from getting my share of New York souvenirs.”

        The three of them walked off to prepare for their journey, wondering what exactly was in store for them tomorrow.