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Ami woke up. Their head hurts so much… Their alarm was ringing, loud and clear– also annoying. They shut it off, slamming their hand on the clock and got out of their cushy bed.
They got ready for school, hopping in the mellow shower, brushing their teeth and putting on their uniform. Sitting at the table, they started doing their makeup and putting on their accessories. Cute!
They went outside, starting to walk to school. It was pretty chilly outside, the weather’s getting cold… Their stomach started rumbling. Ah, they forgot to eat again. It’s fine, it doesn’t matter, they’ve skipped many meals.
For some reason, Ami felt stares on themself. Weird, they looked behind, no one was there. They just feel.. Judged. Whatever. They continued walking until they got there. When they did though, it was interesting.
Everyone was laughing, holding their phones, pointing and giggling. It was normal, right..? Just usual things that happen in high school, bustling and jammed. Where is Haru…
Haru, their best friend, was with a group of girls, talking and laughing. When she noticed Ami, she ran over to them. “Ami!! You’re finally here!”, she cheered, before hugging them. “Haru– I can’t breathe..”, they managed to gasp out.
“Did you eat?”, Haru asked. Well.. “Uh… Maybe… Maybe not…”, Ami replied sheepishly. “In my defense, I forgot..!”, they added quickly. “Oh Ami… You gotta eat– here.” Haru handed them a sandwich. “No no it’s fine..” “Ami no, eat.” They reluctantly took a bite.
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, just studying and tests. Midterms were coming up, and more homework was given. They were as tired as an owl in daylight, when will Saturday come..
“Finally! Dismissal! My favorite time of the school day!”, Haru exclaimed, packing up her stuff. Haru was never one to enjoy studying, in her words, it was “boring and tiring.” It's not like Ami disagreed with her, but the problem was, Haru never got good grades. Ami just wished she’d study and care more..
Once Ami got home, they were tired. Their hair was disheveled, their clothes were wrinkled. They fell back on the bed, just laying there. ‘I’m so tired…’, they thought, shifting their head to look at the ticking clock.
‘Tick tock.. Tick tock…’ The clock kept ticking, somehow getting louder each tick. ‘Ding!’, her phone went. Oh, it was a text from Haru. They unlocked their phone, reading the text.
‘Do you wanna go shopping?’, Haru texted. Their fingers typed away, replying back. ‘Yes, sure. Tomorrow at 10am?’ Sent. Another day going outside.. At least they were doing something. They also need to eat before Haru forces them to eat..
~~~
The next day at the mall, Ami felt those stares again. It’s weird, everytime they went somewhere, they feel judged. Oh, Haru was there. They ran to her. “Haru!”, they called.
“Oh, there you are! Took you long enough.”, she teased. “You cannot be talking.”, Ami retorted. They both walked into the mall. Ami felt the stares again, looking behind to see if anyone was there. There wasn’t.
They both went into many shops, but one in particular felt special to Ami. They walked in, looking at the stuff. It was clear that it was one of their interests. “So you like collecting bows?”, Haru asked. “Well, yes, they’re so cute!”, Ami replied, overly excited.
Later, they parted ways and both went home. When Ami came home, they sighed and went upstairs to their room. ‘Another day wasted..’, they thought, slumping on their bed. “I should go make some tea..”, they muttered, standing up and going downstairs to make tea.
When they finished, it was silent. Only the sound of the steaming drink pouring into the cup and setting the kettle down. They sat, taking a sip. Tea was always so comforting.. It was a hug in a cup. Ami remembered, before their parents died, they always had afternoon tea together.
Now, it was lonely in this house. No talk, no yelling, just the sounds of shuffling and unlocking the door every time they came home. Sometimes Haru did come over to check on their health, but that was like, once every month.
..Not like there was a point in checking up on them anyways, everyone knows that it will always be the same– them laying in their bed and scrolling away on their phone, and they don’t even sleep much.
There’s no point. It’s too much effort. The most they could do is drink water, brush their teeth and take a shower. At least they force themselves to. If not, they’d just stay in bed all day and rot. It’s not like they don’t do that already.
“Ah, what time is it…” they managed to utter, looking at the clock. It was 5 p.m., the clock ticking and tocking like it’s gonna burst and haunt them about how they have so much to do. Ami always tried to run away from their own problems, it was a bad habit.
They went upstairs and brushed their teeth, going to their room. They were supposed to have dinner, but.. They’ll just skip again. Cooking and eating takes too much time and effort, and they already brushed their teeth. Why do it again just because you took a few bites of food?
And plus… The thought of eating makes them sick. “Mph.. I feel like I’m gonna throw up…”, they gagged. They laid on the bed, turning off all the lights and forced themself to sleep. Thank god you only live one life.. They clearly can’t do this a second time.
~~~
At Haru’s house, she just had dinner, she was in her room. She was spam texting Ami, but it seems like Ami went to sleep early again. “They probably skipped dinner.. They never properly take care of themself, it’s typical. At this point, it’s no surprise if Ami just.. Faints.”, she muttered, talking to herself.
It’s not like they’d mind, but can you blame her for being concerned? Haru sighed and set her phone down. Ami’s state was clearly a silent scream for help, and yet no one can see that. They’re so fragile, and they always insist that they’re fine.
But they’re not. And that’s what’s probably messing up their physical health as well. “Hmm…”, she hummed. It was pretty late, but Ami lives only a few meters away from her. She grabbed her jacket and went downstairs, taking the keys. “Dad! I’m going out!”, she called, before hearing her father hum in approval and she took a rice ball and ran out the door.
In Ami’s house, it was.. Interesting. In a bad way. They just finished throwing up, now cleaning up. Or at least attempting to. “Ugh..”, they managed to gasp. This was the consequence of her skipping dinner, isn’t it..?
Oh, someone’s knocking on the door. Who is out this late at night? And it was thundering as well. The thunder was screaming at them, slamming down again. Screw this weather, screw everything at this point.
“This is.. Ah, killing me.”, they muttered, laying on the floor, holding their stomach. Someone bursted in. It was Haru. “Ami!”, she yelled, running over to their side. Oh, Ami had fainted. She carried them over to their room, laying them on the bed.
A few hours later, they woke up. Their clothes were changed, and they felt more.. Clean. And more weak. “Here, eat.”, Haru insisted, giving them the rice ball she brought. “I even microwaved it for you, please, eat.” Ami nodded, bringing the rice ball to her mouth and took a bite.
After a few minutes of silence, Ami finally broke it. “Isn’t it late..? Why did you come all the way here?”, they asked. “Well.. I was worried for you, since you weren’t answering my texts.”
Oh! Her.. Her texts!! “Oh- no, I’m sorry, I forgot..! I turned my notifications off and–” Haru cutted them off, “It’s fine, I know you’re tired and stuff.” Ami sighed in relief, glad that Haru was understanding and wasn’t mad.
~~~
At school, during class. It was the same as always, Ami felt judging stares. But, this time, there were giggles and whispers with it. They decided to check their phone, going on social media. And their face fell immediately. Oh.
On the screen, it appeared bright and proud– ‘Ami is a childish weirdo who doesn’t take care of themself and probably doesn’t shower at all! They stink and they use a hell ton of perfume to cover it!’, and it already had over one thousand views.
But it was anonymous, so they couldn't tell who it was. Haru peeked over to look at their screen, and she had the biggest frown anyone ever saw, coming from her too. “Who would do such a thing..?”, she muttered. “I don’t know.. And there’s so many replies to it too.. Ah…”, they gulped.
Ami scrolled down, seeing a post; ‘Tongue twisters to brighten your day! Betty bought a bit of butter! But the butter Betty bought was bitter!’ Hah, was that supposed to make her feel joy? Because it doesn’t work. It definitely doesn’t.
“Are you okay?”, Haru asked, putting a hand on their shoulder. “Yes, I can handle it. Trust me..”, they reassured, putting on a smile. It should be fine, right..? It’s just a little bit of rumors… Oh, class ended.
They both walked out of class, but then students walked past them, laughing. “Ew, what’s that smell you carry, Ami? Go take a freaking shower!”, one of them giggled, they all left. Annoying. And that wasn’t the end…
“You can’t be cute and pretty if you stink! And not only that, but the things you like as well! All that cute stuff, isn’t that for little girls?” That was the only thing they could hear at the moment. But then it got way way too far.
“Are you gonna cry to your parents? Oh wait, you can’t!”, one of them yelled out, clearly uneducated if he thinks that's something you can just casually say. Because it’s not, everyone should know this. We’re in high school!
“..Oh.”, Ami gasped out quietly. Their first instinct was to run. So they did. They ran, away and away, from that excuse of a place you call ‘educational’. So much for trying to live a life to make people proud. Because they give up.
“Wait, Ami!”, Haru called out. But it was too late. Ami was already gone. They were running, huffing and puffing. “Hah… I’d never expect someone like me to have this much energy… Ugh… I feel sick…”, they held their mouth. ‘So close… Almost there…’
When they reached their house, they locked the door and ran upstairs to their room, collapsing on the floor. Their attempt shouldn’t have failed. The clock was ticking, their head was hurting, they shouldn’t have ever been born.
At school, Haru was sitting alone. Holding back her tears, she sat on the ground, looking empty. Thoughts were running through her head. ‘Why didn’t I defend them? Why was I so useless? I could’ve stopped everything! That’s what everyone expects from me!’ Haru sighed, fixing her skirt.
“They’re such a good person, yet they suffer so much, their life is so horrible. What irony.”, she muttered, closing her eyes. What is Ami doing now..? Will they ever come back? Will they just come back tomorrow the next day like nothing ever happened?
“..Maybe I’m just not a good enough friend.”
~~~
Ami POV.
It's been weeks. I haven’t left the house, nor did I take care of myself. Like I care anyways, I can just rot here, maybe even die here too. I sighed, turning my head. Everything was so dirty, and it smells.
The room was in shambles, the clock had stopped ticking because I stopped putting the batteries in, dirty clothes scattering on the ground, and my bed was undone. Clutters of pencils and papers everywhere on my desk, I won’t even bother cleaning them.
I closed my eyes, falling into slumber once more, not giving a care in everything. Actually, since when did I care about something? Well, to be fair, I guess I did care about some things. Like.. Haru, and fashion.. That's really it.
Let another day go by.
Haru POV.
It’s been weeks. I haven’t seen Ami go to school as well. Maybe they just.. gave up. I miss them. But I can’t visit them, their door has been locked. I stood up, noticing something. These two people.. They’re on their phones, giggling.
I walked over, my face fell instantly. Mark and Mike, they’re.. They’re the ones that were spreading the rumors! I was silent, it’s like they think they’re the only people here. “So.. This is what you do in your free time, huh? Ruining people’s lives further even though knowing they already have a hard time.”
I continued, I’m not letting them get away with this. “That’s lame, you’re genuinely not cool or funny for this. I care because at least I have enough sympathy in my heart to care, but you guys– you’re both heartless.”
Mike was gonna say something, to retort, to anything. But I just ended it all off. “Never do this ever again, or… I can just expose you. Because I’m sure people would be on Ami’s side.”, I threatened. “No, don’t..! We’ll stop! Just don’t!”, he begged. “Mhm, that’s what I thought.” And I left.
They’re a waste of time anyways.
Third Person.
At the end of the school day, Haru was running on the streets. She did say she couldn't visit Ami, but.. It doesn’t hurt to try. When she reached their house, she tried to unlock the door with her hairpin. It worked. She walked in.
Oh– it smells sickening. She walked upstairs to Ami’s room, almost there. She opened the door and her face went pale. Their room was the definition of depression. She looked at Ami, they were asleep.
She put a hand on their forehead, thank god they didn’t have a fever. She cleaned up their room, sweeping and spraying air freshener. When Ami woke up, their eyes widened. “You didn’t have to..”, they said, feeling guilty. “I didn’t have to, yes. But I wanted to.”, Haru answered, looking at them.
“You don’t have to come back outside, but please, take care of yourself. I worry about you so much, so please. I don’t want you to be sick or anything.”, she said to them. Ami considered her words, nodding slowly. “Oh.. Okay.”, was all they could say.
With that, Haru stood up and left the room, smiling at them before walking away and leaving the house. Ami sat for a few minutes, before getting up, getting a new pair of clothes and going to the bathroom.
They brushed their teeth and took a shower, changing into new clothes. When they left the bathroom, they went downstairs and microwaved a rice ball. They ate and drank water, and did all their chores.
Maybe they’ll finally go outside again tomorrow, and meet everyone. Maybe all this time they thought wrong, and if they disappeared, all this time trying was a waste of time. Because if they were gone now, they wouldn’t see their progress.
The next day, they went to school, meeting Haru. “Ami!!”, she yelled in excitement, hugging them. “Haru..”, they smiled, hugging them back. Maybe, after all, this was way better.. And they never knew.
Life is short, so why not just enjoy it while it lasts?