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Will wasn't a pessimistic person by nature, that’s something he knows for a fact.
He loved to try and find positive solutions and atleast one nice thing to say about a bad situation. Sure, maybe he's had moments where a cloud of self doubt and resentment wouldn't leave his mind for even a moment. Even so, at the end of the day, he could still find something good to come out of it.
But on rare occasions, such as right now, he couldn't find a single thing to be happy about.
Summer brings popsicles, fun days down at the pool, longer days with the sun, and beach volleyball.
Spring brought plants regrowing, a sense of renewal, coquette pastel colors, and vibrant beautiful flowers to look at.
With Autumn, it brought falling leaves, aesthetic photo taking, pumpkin spice, and large amounts of mostly stolen candy from Walmart.
Winter, however, just brought misery, unbearably cold snow, toothpaste flavored ice cream, and worst of all; Christmas.
Will could power through peppermint ice cream, even though with every crunch and the shivers of pure disgust running down his back, he would be hating his life and hating everything that brought him to that point. He could even (barely) manage to survive the snow, though being a shivering demi-god popsicle the entire time. Even with a large, heavy coat wrapped securely tight around him, it wouldn't be enough. His hands would still be cold, his face would be frozen to the touch, and his feet would feel like he decided to go jump in a pool filled with ice.
Although his dramatics would be wailing about how cold it was the entire time, face pink with the wind breathing snow down his back, and gripping onto steaming hot coffee like it's existence is the sole reason why he's still alive, he could still power through it and be all right in the end, right next to a heater on full blast.
But Christmas? Will felt his eye twitch even at the mere mention.
Call him a Grinch, a Scrooge, or anything of the sort. It won't make him absolutely hate Christmas any less.
He hated the dumb lights, the stupid overpriced ornaments, and the peer pressure to get people gifts even if he had no money.
But more than the others, the gods damn songs.
He swears hearing, 'All I Want For Christmas Is You' makes him physically angry and gives him the overwhelming urge to tear his ears clean off. To him, it sounded like nails on a chalkboard. Or a fork scraping against a plate. Ear-piercing, annoying, and absolutely grating.
He can listen to Mariah Carey normally on a good day, but he would up and leave the room with his pride intact and his hatred off the charts if he even heard the beginning jingle of the annoying bells from that song.
He's hated Christmas long before coming to Camp, all the way from when he still lived with his Mom. His Mom never really celebrated the holiday. Atleast, not in the way he's seen other people.
His neighbors would put lights on their houses, decorate their lawns with plastic candy canes, and most importantly, have the giant, signature pine tree standing in their living room with sparkling garland, glittery ornaments, and a twinkling star at the top.
His Mom never did that. She always thought doing that much was a waste of time, energy, and money. It’s not like she ever had the time to put one up anyways, her music tours were more important. Just buying a simple box of regular candy canes and blasting Mariah Carey nonstop throughout the house was enough for her.
It was never enough for Will.
That's not even mentioning Christmas day itself. They would always have to go to his Grandparents' house for the celebration, and it always felt like the worst thing ever. Seconded to the Battle of Manhattan. Each year they went to that disaster disguised as a house, felt like a sentenced year off his life.
One: They lived all the way down in nowhere south Texas in shitty Brownsville. It was over 6 hours away from his house in River Oaks Houston, so for the majority of Christmas Eve, he would have to be buckled down in his car seat absolutely seething with every honk or sudden brake check, since his Mother was a terrible driver. Even more so while passing through Corpus Christi.
Fortune and fame doesn't make up for crappy driving, that was atleast one thing Will learned through these trips.
Two: His Mother was always adamant of only staying one night in their Grandparents' house. He mostly hated this because the morning of Christmas day after presents, they would be doing this process all over again. Again, trapped in a car that felt like it was getting smaller with each passing minute while his Mom was screaming about someone cutting her off. (They both knew she was the one who was at fault, but her pride was too strong to admit it.)
He was always bored out of his mind during these rides, and took to annoying his Mom whenever he lost interest in his expensive, but overall uninteresting toys.
("Are we there yet?" He whined once again, kicking his small legs back and forth from where they dangled off of the car seat.
"Oh my goodness, William Andrew Solace, if you ask me one more time, I'm leaving you here stranded on this goddamn highway.")
Three: Grandma and Grandad were the absolute shittiest people to be around. Old fashioned, racist and homophobic down to the bone. They never hesitated to always voice their opinions about his Mother's life, despite nobody asking for it. They looked down on her for having a son with no husband to support them, even though his Mom was making more money than his Grandad ever did with her being a popular musician.
It never bothered her, though. She would just keep to sipping her coffee as they berated her with their demanding, old shrill voices.
(Will remembers his Mom whispering to herself one night on Christmas Eve about how she couldn't wait to put them in a cheap, nursing home despite being able to afford a good one.)
But as the years kept going on, they saw how their comments never phased his Mom, so they turned their attention to him instead.
His cousin's would get shiny new action figures, the latest phones, or just literal piles cash itself in their stocking from them. Will on the other hand, never got new stuff. He once got an old pair of his Grandfather's muddied boots that couldn't even fit his 4 year old self's foot. His Mother had been pissed beyond belief after that Christmas.
Even before they redirected their anger towards him, he always got the feeling that he never belonged.
He never belonged sitting in that chair eating the Christmas dinner, taking up the space for a child that his Grandparents might've actually loved. The silent tension was always thick during these times, especially between his Mom and her Parents. Will never had enough courage to look up from his plate to meet his families eyes.
He never belonged sitting on the floor Christmas morning, watching as his cousins who never wanted to play with him, get so much cool stuff while he got secondhand junk they found in the dusty corner in the attic. "You should be grateful," His Grandmother sneered at him while his 5 year old self was trying not to cry at the gifted torn sweater that was seven sizes too big for him. She crossed her frail arms as she glared down at him. "Atleast you're getting something."
He had to gulped down the tears that had threatened to spill. She was right, he should be grateful. He just nodded stiffly, looking down so she wouldn’t see his disappointed face.
They treated him like he was always the afterthought of their family, if they would even be generous enough to call him that much.
After that one Christmas, too many bitter feelings swirled around him that surrounded the holiday. So much so, it caused him to just start hating Christmas outright. It was easier that way, afterall.
Four: His cousins always made sure to show him how much they hated him.
They would push him into doors, and various sharp corners when no adults were around just to hear him cry.
One time when all of adults were outside, Will was sitting alone underneath the tree playing with random Barbies he found lying around. He was renacting a dramatic scandal he saw on TV with two Kens and and Barbie walking on them filled with his incoherent toddler babbling and one Ken dramatically fleeing the scene. (It's better for everyone if you don't ask)
"A Barbie?" One of his older cousins laughed, his southern accent thicker than molasses, snatching the toy away from his protesting, weak six-year-old grip and holding it above his head like a trophy. “Only guys that play with Barbies are queers. You are one of them, aren’t cha?” He had taunted, his other cousin’s laughing behind him.
Will’s cheeks had flared with embarrassment. He didn’t know what the word queer meant at the time, but by the way they were saying it, he could just tell it meant something bad. “No.” He mumbled, tears already gathering in his eyes at the laughter.
“You’re crying already?” His cousin snorted, “God only knows pansy’s cry, crybaby.”
Will had just sat on the ground, his emotions getting stirred up as he desperately averted his eyes and fidgeted with his fingers. They all continued to laugh and point their fingers down at him while continuously chanting “queer”, something unpleasant at stirred in his stomach as he ferociously fought back tears to avoid getting called a crybaby.
That night coming back home, he had asked his Mom what it meant, and questioned why had his cousins called him that. She nearly collided with the car in front of them whipping her head around to look at him almost violently, with the scariest look on her face.
Coming to Camp Half-Blood was a culture shock. Even though most of them were primarily Pagan, they nonetheless celebrated this holiday. Every camper (besides him) would go all out, in fact. Even going as far as putting a giant Christmas tree in the middle of the Pavilion like it was Times Square.
Every cabin was decorated in different red and green tinsel, (Or gold if you were extra, which just so happened to be his Cabin. Don't even get him started on that long rant.) and every single one of the cabin just HAD to have their own personally decorated trees too. They would have snowball fights in sub-degree temperatures, gingerbread house building competitions even when half the candy was already gone from eating it, and have corny customized festive stockings that always hung up empty on Christmas morning.
It was like they truly believed Santa would actually show up to bring gifts to a bunch of kids who weren't supposed to even be born.
It's not only that. They would seriously dress up in the most eyesore inducing Christmas sweaters that ever existed. He even saw one of Percy's ugly sweaters when he was visiting one day with Annabeth's grinning face on it. Will wanted to throw up at the sight.
It was just so unbelievably corny, it still sends shivers down his spine when he remembers it.
This all bring him to his next dilemma; Nico.
Nico di Angelo was his boyfriend, whom he adored with all his heart. Will loved the silly nicknames Nico would give him, and he loved the way his nose scrunched up whenever he read English. He loves Nico's hidden smiles behind unserious sharp words. His soft, dreamy laugh, and how he hugs him tightly at night, like if he let go Will would just spontaneously disappear out of thin air.
Even though Will loves Nico more than anything, he just can't seem to look at him the same after this.
He stood frozen in the doorway to Cabin 13, his eyes wide and mouth agape. He can't tell if he was standing in shock, horror, or amazement. Precious warm air was escaping into the cold night from where the door was wide open, but he couldn't have care less.
A large 10 foot tree was right in the middle of Nico's cabin, complete with golden lights practically suffocating the branches from being wrapped so tightly around it, and shimmery blue ornaments hanging off the tree with cheap hooks. Not to mention the large, multicolored, plastic star sitting on the tippy top of the tree, leaning dangerously to one side as it was basically one slight breeze away from falling. Clueless, bony skeletons were clumsily hopping and crawling on top of each other to attempt to put the delicate, glass ornaments on the branches.
The tree itself looked like a toddler's preschool experimental drawing of a Christmas tree. Large, oversized green leaves and uncoordinated multicolored blobs for ornaments.
Wait, no actually scrap that. A kid's drawing probably looked better than the atrocity he's staring at with wide eyes and a little bit of nausea.
The poor dead skeletons probably had no fucking clue what they were doing. Nico most likely just summoned them, pointed to the tree, and told them to get to work whilst throwing a bucket of the shiny ornaments at them. He feels immense pity for them.
Nico, in all his glory, stands triumphantly in front of the tree with his hands on his hips as he stares up at it, awe shining in his eyes like he's never seen anything more beautiful before. A bright, excited grin was present on his lips. He's wearing an ugly Christmas sweater that just screams the word itchy. It has a fried looking green elf on the front, juggling a sad, flattened blue present that has small bells on it. The elf's eyes are bright red, and Will really, really wants what it's on right now so he can forget this sight.
Frank Sinatra singing about a Merry Little Christmas plays somewhere in the unknown of Cabin 13, but Will really couldn't focus on anything else besides the tree (if you could call it that) standing in front of him.
He gulps as he looks too long at it. It looks like if creativity and misery tried to unionize and conspicuously throw up Christmas spirit on a victimized pine tree. He vaguely wonders if it's gonna curse him. Oh no. He thinks, taking a small retreating step backwards to the door. His own boyfriend caught the Christmas jolly fever.
The longer he stares, the more he swears the tree looks back at him.
Nico looks over to him with a bright smile, and has the audacity to laugh at Will's jaw practically on the floor. To laugh. Will can't believe this betrayal.
The bells on Nico's ugly Christmas sweater jingles with his motions, making Will actually consider sleeping in the woods to get as far away as he could from the annoying noise.
Although Nico looks so good laughing, and the fact that his smile is more than just adorable with his soft facial features being highlighted by the golden lights of the tree, that's about it.
The tree's height, decorations and glow were overwhelming. The amount of light pollution this one tree was solely emitting could maybe block the entire nightsky and the constellations for the whole world and years to come.
He sighed, putting his freezing hands in his pockets. What was the actual point of doing all of this? Santa wouldn't be coming anywhere close to Camp Half-Blood if he was even real.
Instead of saying that, he choked down his grievances, and managed a smile.
Nico tried his best, and that's all that matters. He was the one who was standing and looking at the tree like it solved all his problems, and maybe it had.
Besides, it's not like he would be judged for how bad he was at decorating trees, right? (Will, a self-proclaimed expert Christmas hater, gives him a 10/10. Ten points for being cute, and he's not talking about the tree.)
Even if the smile he scrapped together in 5 seconds did make him look more or less constipated, he's happy that he could muster even that much the in face of sheer horror.
"It's very, erm—" He could feel his eye twitch as he paused, trying to find a positive word to describe it. Nico, in all his edgy glory, just looked like he was about to burst out in laughter again. "Chic."
Will swears Nico's resulting, bordering on hysterical, cackles could've been heard all across Camp.
"Don't worry Sunshine," Nico giggles even more as he grabs Will's hand to pull him more into the cabin, finally gaining a conscience after he spent a good five minutes making fun of Will with dramatic breath inhales, as he gasped out even more laughs at Will's growing scowl and burning face. A cheeky, suspicious grin was present on his lips as he shut the door behind him with a light click.
Will's stomach drops, looking longingly at the door, mourning his loss of freedom from this Hallmark Christmas channel trash, disguised as Nico's cabin.
Nico definitely has something planned. If the way he's grinning at Will with joyful murderous intent but with more reindeer shaped glitter and candy canes, tells him anything. Will has never once doubted his instincts, and all they’re begging him to do right now is to run.
"Nico-" He began to say, dread filling his voice already. But Nico quickly covers Will's mouth with his pale hands before he could speak, shushing him in a singsong voice, the dangerous smile never leaving him.
"Don't worry about it Solace," Nico pulls Will down by his coat to whisper into the cusp of his ear, amusement practically dripping from his words. Will felt his face heat up to catastrophic levels at how close they were.
He's gonna need either a heads up or an ice pack if Nico insists on doing this more often.
Before Will could interject with his endearing and smart incoherent babbling, Nico weakly pushes him with both hands onto his black leather couch. Will lands on his back with a small huff. The blush that encased his entire face was probably worse by now, he actually feels lightheaded from all the blood rushing so quickly,
He avoids eye contact from Nico, who is looking down at him still with that stupid smirk, as Will was sprawled out on the leather cushions. Nico would totally tease him for his blush if he saw his face.
Nico takes a calculated step backward, his eyes never leaving Will's, even when the bright lights from the tree dim a little when a skeleton trips over the wire. Nico just frowns a bit, snaps his fingers to make them disappear, and then the same smug smile reappeared on his face, like it always belonged there.
“I’m about to show you the best thing ever,” Nico tells him with excitement, his hands gesturing wildly. Will fears for his life as he watches with a bated breath. The blush on his face growing ever so slightly as Nico reached the practically sentient tree and crouched down to grab a small box sitting pathetically on the red skirt.
Will can feel his heart drop as Nico pulls the object out of the box.
"Oh no." Will mumbled, his face cringing before he could stop it.
Nico held up a red stocking that had various hand knitted snowmen and arched candy canes decorating the base of it, behind a dark blue nightsky. At the ridge, it was trimmed with white, as if it was trying to mimick snow. It had 'William' sewn out with glittery cursive, yellow string at the top. Nico's eyes were practically lit up in childlike excitement when he saw it, letting out an inaudible squeal that he would absolutely kill Will for if he told anyone about it.
Will sit up from where he was laying down on the couch, tracing his eyes around the scenery.
That's right. Nico had never really got to celebrate Christmas in the past, being too preoccupied with trying not to die for it to be a big priority. Even when he could celebrate it in Mussolini era Italy, the war enveloping the lands around them probably overshadowed it immensely. There wasn't much Christmas spirit to go around when one of your family members just died in a tragic war.
"Persephone offered to make me a stocking, so I told her to make you one aswell." Nico explained, smiling softly at the stocking, gently tracing his fingertips around the intricate cursive letters. Will bit his cheek to avoid screaming. He couldn't tell you if it was about how much he loved Nico, or how he almost vomited in his mouth at how cheesy this whole situation was.
Straight out of a Hallmark movie, he realizes with absolute horror. Local Christmas hater and Christmas lover get together? How did he not see this sooner?! What’s next? Big city boy Nico visits back to his hometown where he finds country boy Will still lingering there obviously still in love with him? This was absolutely despicable and depressing!
"I know you don't really like Christmas that much, and that's perfectly fine!" Nico laughed awkwardly as he tried to reassure Will, rubbing the back of his neck as his voice knocked Will out of his spiraling nightmare. "I just didn't want you to be left out." He finished, his voice getting softer the more he spoke, like he realized while speaking that it was a bad idea. His eyes search Will's face, looking for any type of rejection or reassurance.
Will's heart sunk at Nico's downturned eyes that replaced his previous happiness. Nico should never be sad, ever. Especially not because of him. It doesn't matter if it's about something Will hates, he would do anything to make Nico happy and laugh.
With that mentality, he bit his lip and broke out in his own smile. He tried to make it as genuine as possible. Nico lit back up like a Christmas tree in October at the grin, Will felt his face heat up at it. "I think it's beautiful Nico," he said with genuine adoration.
Not because of the ugly thing he's trying so hard to avoid looking at, but just because of Nico's face as he stared at the monstrosity with stars in his eyes.
After a beat of silence, he sighs.
Okay, he had to admit that even if the stocking itself was pretty tacky, he still could appreciate the craftsmanship and obvious love that went into making it for him. He'd have to write Persephone a thank you card, even though she doesn't like him that much and couldn’t care less whether he likes it or not. She only did it because Nico told her too.
Nico let out a soft giggle, before turning around to hang it on the wall next to his own stocking, right above a faux fireplace made of painted cardboard. Having a real fireplace in the cabins were a fire hazard, even though it gets colder in the winter than Nico's blank stares whenever Percy makes a crappy joke. Because of this, most cabins had to improvise. Will never would've thought in a million years that Nico would have one, but this boy is filled with surprises like a treasure trove.
"It's perfect." Nico said finally, taking a moment to appreciate the scenery of his cabin. Will just nodded along, feeling nothing but endearment as something warm settles into his chest at seeing his name next to Nico's on the fake fireplace.
He knows his younger self would've been so happy to finally have something resembling the Christmas he had wished for but thought it was too out of reach.
He watches as Nico adjusts an upside-down ornament a skeleton put there probably on accident, his eyebrows were furrowed together as he mumbled something about the price of cremation and restraining orders from the Christmas aisle for skeletons.
His younger self not only would be happy about the decorations, but the fact he got to spend it with someone who made him feel like he belonged.
Nico made him feel like he belonged there, staring up at a corny, heavily decorated Christmas tree straight out of a cheesy Hallemark movie. Albeit how unpleasant it would usually sound, it left something too close to warmth in his chest.
Nico plopped down into the couch seat next to him, grabbing the remote on the coffee table. Will adjusted immediately, wrapping his arms around Nico's waist like it was second nature. (It practically was at this point, though.)
"I don't care what you say," Nico said blankly, turning his head to face Will's, his face nothing but serious. Their mouths were very close together, Will realized with a bright red blush already burning up his face.
"We are going to fucking watch Elf," he says seriously, pulling foward onto the hood of Will's jacket, bringing him forward to make their foreheads rest on each other. "-And we are both gonna fucking love it."
Will couldn't help the groan that tore from his throat. That movie was the actual worst Christmas film that ever existed. Who even loves Will Ferrell that much anyways?
Nico just smiles cheekily up at him, leaving a soft kiss on his cheek.
Will supposes nothing could be that bad if Nico was here beside him. Though he will require more kisses to help him through the movie.