Chapter Text
Rain didn’t know how his life had ended up quite so dull. He had left home almost ten years prior with a heart full of hope and aspirations for everything that lay ahead of him out in the big wide world, and yet somehow he had found himself feeling almost more trapped now than he had in his small hometown.
His job was nothing short of boring. Studying ecology had always been his dream, even when he was a child who didn’t yet know what that word even meant. All he had needed to know back then was that he loved nothing more than immersing himself in nature, trying to learn everything that every leaf on a tree or tiny bug could teach him. He had gotten into his dream university and passed almost every part of his course with good grades, so how was he now here, stuck in an office job barely related to his degree?
Rain stared out of the window near his desk towards a sea of other grey panes of glass, a forest not made of beautiful and unique twisting trunks but of near-identical concrete towers. Even the sky behind them was a similar colour, the sun not daring to make an appearance on this cold and wintry day. He twiddled his pen between his fingers absently, the novelty plastic item from an aquarium gift shop with fish suspended in its barrel the only burst of colour in his equally drab office.
All around him was the same white noise as ever, the low hum of his boss talking behind his own office door, the shuffling of his colleagues at their adjacent desks. All sounds that had become as familiar as they were irritating, like the hum of the fridge in his apartment or the rumble of the central heating. It all felt so artificial, a far cry from the veritable symphony of noises that had existed just outside of his back door back home.
He missed the snow and the wonder of winter he had once felt, the brown slush that had soaked through his shoes this morning a poor comparison to the pristine white blanket that he used to wake up to as a child. With barely more than a week until Christmas, nothing about his environment was encouraging him to get into the festive mood. Especially not the looming deadline at work, which had for some reason been set on the twenty-third of December.
No, nothing about Rain’s current life was what he had imagined for himself all those years previously. Even his dream of a happy relationship, settled down in a cottage somewhere with a husband and maybe a pet cat or dog seemed distant. He had a boyfriend, sure, the same guy he had been dating since his first year at university, but they had been growing apart recently as his job kept him out late even more frequently than Rain’s did. Often he would even spend the night at his office. Rain had been starting to suspect that they were only still with each other for convenience, both too afraid to move on and face the world without each other.
The brightest thing in his life were his best friends, Cumulus and Cirrus, neighbours from his first city apartment who had simply refused to let him wallow in the comedown of graduate life. They were the ones who always encouraged him to persevere and dream bigger, to look past his shitty job and lacklustre relationship and manifest the life he wanted. Unfortunately they weren’t even around right now though, already off on their Christmas vacation and travelling to stay with both of their families like the functioning couple with a good work-life balance that they were.
Rain looked at the clock: 11:13. Still not late enough to justify a lunch break, but perhaps time for another coffee. Just as he was debating if his company-branded coffee mug really needed washing or if he could get away with just topping it up, the closest – or rather only – friend he had at work pushed through the doors of the open-plan office.
For a long time, Aether had been little more than a colleague who Rain occasionally hung out with when the evenings got too lonely, barely ever having conversations deeper than their opinions on music and petty workplace drama, but he was a face Rain was always happy to see. Today though, his usual easy smile was gone, replaced with a concerned look and a frown line etched deep into his forehead.
“Rain!” He half-whispered, half-shouted across the room as he approached. “I’m so sorry, how are you doing?”
His voice held so much sympathy, a level of emotion Rain wasn’t used to hearing from him. He stared back at him blankly as a few of his other colleagues also turned to see what was happening, nonplussed.
“I’m fine?” He eventually said as Aether’s eyebrows knitted themselves even tighter together.
“You are?” His relief seemed a little sceptical, Rain thought. “That’s good then, but I just wanted to say, if you want someone to talk to I’m here.”
It was awkward, slightly forced, but Rain was too distracted by why Aether apparently felt the need to offer such a sentiment all of a sudden to consider why he was pushing himself into something that seemed to be making him uncomfortable.
“Sorry, Aether, I’m not entirely sure what you’re talking about?” Rain smiled and shrugged his shoulders in a way he hoped conveyed his confusion without seeming totally disinterested.
“You and Phil? You broke up right? I’m sorry if you don’t want to talk about it but I saw—”
“What?” Rain was genuinely confused now. “Sorry, what did you see?”
Aether shuffled his feet awkwardly as he spoke, as though suddenly unsure if he was doing the correct thing in telling him all of this.
“I was at a different bar to normal last night, and I saw him there making out with someone else so I assumed…”
Rain stopped listening. He couldn’t believe it.
Sure, their relationship had been a little less exciting as of late, but Rain had had work, and Phil had professed to as well…
“Excuse me a moment.”
He bolted for the bathroom.
Locking himself in, Rain sat on the closed seat, trying not to hyperventilate. Could it really be true? Before he really let himself succumb to getting upset though, he could already feel anger taking over and a sinking feeling growing in his stomach. He did believe it, deep down. Even with just Aether’s word, he already believed everything, deep down in his heart. How could Phil do such a thing though, after Rain had forgiven him for similar ‘lapses in judgement’ before?
Perhaps that was his answer.
There and then, Rain decided he had to leave. After all his dejection around his job, his life, his everything as of late, this was the final straw. He needed to go home. He would go back to his parents’ and his hometown for a reset, try and reclaim some of the passion for life he had had when he was younger. Screw the big deadline: he had accumulated weeks of annual leave he hadn’t ever felt he could take, and no one here would miss him aside from Aether.
Rain splashed some water on his face, even though he had no tears of sadness, anger or otherwise to wash away. Instead he was just burning red in embarrassment. Unlocking the door and emerging once again, he saw Aether hovering a respectable distance away down the hall, waiting for him without imposing.
“I’ve got to go.” Rain said, hurrying past him back to his desk.
“Rain?”
“No, I really am okay.” Rain insisted as he saved the document open on his laptop without even bothering to sit down to do so. “Thanks for telling me Aeth, I—”
“You didn’t know.” He gasped, horrified, freezing halfway across the office with his hands over his mouth. Their other colleagues weren’t even trying to hide their interest now, the whole room’s eyes on the pair. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry Rain, I had no idea!”
“No, you’re good. I don’t know why I’m surprised.” Rain laughed coldly. “I’m glad you told me though, so he can’t lie to my face…”
He threw the few collected possessions strewn across his desk that he cared about into his rucksack. A photo of him and Phil beamed happily at him from beside his monitor and in a fit of anger he slammed it face down on the desk, hearing the cheap glass in the frame shatter, before thinking better of leaving the mess for a colleague and carefully sweeping the pieces into the bin.
“What are you doing? Rain?”
“I’m leaving.” Rain announced, loud enough for all the gawking onlookers to hear it, before lowering his voice again. “I need some time away. From here, from the city, definitely from Phil. Permanently, maybe.”
Before Aether could raise any objection, Rain strode to his boss’ door with a confidence he had never once had before, knocking on it with similar command.
“Come in!” The voice from inside called, before its owner looked up in mild surprise. “Rain?”
“I quit.” He repeated, almost proudly. “I’ve got way more than my two weeks in notice in holiday to use, so I’m leaving. Right now.”
“But the project? It’s due before Christm—”
“It’s all uploaded to the share, and papers are on my desk. My portion’s finished.” Rain could hear from the sudden silence outside that every one of his colleagues was continuing to eavesdrop. “So, uh, I’ll be off now. Thank you.”
Before his boss could say anything or Rain could back down on his decision, he ducked back out of the office, leaving the seated man to stare in slight confusion at his closing door.
“I’ll call you,” he promised Aether, “I just… Need to get out of here for a bit. Out of the city. I’m going to my parents’ house for a while, at least until new year’s.”
He felt a little guilty seeing Aether’s face. Rain knew he didn’t enjoy the work any more than he did, but he was firm in his resolve. Instead of begging Rain to stay though, Aether stepped forward and wrapped him in a big hug.
“I’m sorry Rain.”
“Not your fault.” Rain tried to shrug from inside of the larger man’s arms. “I really am glad you told me.
“Still.” Aether released him, before his dejected expression turned to a small smirk. “God, I’m proud of you for quitting like that though. Might do the same if they keep cracking the whip around here.
“Do it.” Rain grinned despite everything. “A deadline on Christmas should be like, illegal or something.”
As he left the office, his rucksack containing the meagre slivers of his life he had brought into work slung over his shoulder, he waved to Aether and felt his heart clench as he left his only real friend in the building stood alone, looking lost in the middle of the heinous open-plan room.
As Rain rode the rattling bus back to his apartment, doubt began to slip in. He didn’t know if anyone he went to high school with was still around; he had lost contact with them without really meaning to. He thought Sunshine, his old biology lab partner, might still be living in town though: last Rain had heard from his Mother, she still worked in the flower shop that she had had a part time job in during school. He knew that most of the other families he had grown up with were still based in town too, so maybe he would bump into some other people he knew down at the pub, if it wasn’t too lame to head down there alone, ten years older than when he had first been there.
Maybe Dewdrop will be around still, his mind unhelpfully supplied, reminding him of a failed crush he had once had back then. Spurred on by fruity cider which was probably more sugar than alcohol, he had tried unsuccessfully to talk to the striking boy in the year above him, only to get quite spectacularly shot down. Was it any wonder then that Rain had latched onto the first guy to call him pretty in freshers’ week at university and never let go?
His younger sibling was due back for the holidays, so at least there would be someone for him to talk to in a few days. They were bringing their girlfriend to Christmas though, and Rain thought that third-wheeling them might be more mortifying than being alone.
Whatever the case though, it had to be better than spending another night in this stupid city with his stupid, cheating, soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend.