Chapter Text
Sitting in their usual diner, Kanade finishes the last of her ramen bowl. Mizuki still has maybe a fourth of her fry basket left, and Ena a portion of her parfait, but otherwise everyone is done eating. Mizuki and Ena are arguing about something distant that Kanade didn’t hear, but the sound is a pleasant one. It’s been a while since she’s been out, and sitting at a table with joyful voices filling the air makes her feel all happy inside. It’s a happiness she wouldn’t have allowed herself a couple years ago, but one she welcomes with open arms now.
“I said no! Your fry will make my parfait gross!” Ena exclaims, dragging her glass across the table and ignoring the agitating squeaking noise it produces.
“Come on Enanan~ A little yogurt for my fry. An said it was a really good combo and I just have to try it!!” Mizuki sounds begging but also taunting, a voice that Ena definitely picks up just as well as Kanade. Even if their fighting is a little much sometimes, it gives a sense of familiarity in the otherwise loneliness that comes with life. Before Ena can retort, Mafuyu cuts her off.
“Enough, you guys are loud. I’m going to the bathroom.” All 3 faces at the table turn to Mafuyu; Ena’s of anger, Mizuki’s of smugness, and Kanade’s of gentle contentment.
“Okay Mafuyu. Don’t stay in there too long. They’re gonna bring the check soon and I don’t want to pay your bill.” Mizuki directs her taunting at Mafuyu, never drawing the same reaction as Ena but still finding the joy in poking fun. Mafuyu smirks slightly, a face she probably doesn’t realize she’s making, before responding.
“That’s only something you’d do Mizuki.” As quick as the smirk is there, it’s gone, and her hands find the table to push herself up. Just before standing though, she observes the faces around the table, their varying expressions, before pausing. “Kanade, there’s food on your cheek.” It’s said with such nonchalance that the words almost miss Kanade’s ears.
“Eh? What?” Kanade feels her face start to heat up as she begins aimlessly wiping her face. Now Mizuki and Ena are looking at her too, this is so embarrassing. She wipes and wipes before a hand grips her own.
“Stop, I’ll get it.” Kanade’s movements still and watch as Mafuyu’s hand goes towards her cheek. Her calloused palm comes to rest on Kanade’s already rosy cheek, her thumb quickly swiping up the supposed food residue. Kanade watches in mortification as Mafuyu leans away and takes her hand with her, her thumb moving up to her mouth and swiftly licking it. “Okay, I’ll be back”. Mafuyu calmly turns around to go to the bathroom.
A moment of silence follows, Kanade still staring at the empty space where Mafuyu’s figure once was. She doesn’t dare look at Mizuki and Ena’s side of the table. Her face already feels more red than the ketchup that sits on Mizuki’s napkin, she doesn’t think she can bear what would happen to her if she made eye contact with either of them. Splitting the silence, Ena talks.
“What in the world was that?” Her tone sounds less like she’s asking a simple question and more like Mafuyu had just grown a third arm. Kanade slowly and embarrassingly turns to face the other two, immediately regretting it when she makes eye contact with them simultaneously.
“Does she just do that?” Mizuki asks, even her teasing tone completely gone and replaced with utter shock. Kanade’s hands find each other under the table, wringing around and twisting until she can will herself to talk.
“Um, yes? She’s been increasingly affectionate over the past few months or so.” Kanade has seen this development clearly in her daily life, but to admit it feels like opening a part of hers and Mafuyu’s relationship up for inspection. Neither of Ena’s or Mizuki’s faces have changed, that same dumbfounded expression.
“And..” Ena starts, “she doesn’t know you like her?” Kanade’s eyes snap open, holding a finger closely to her mouth in a shushing motion before she glances at the bathroom Mafuyu’s in. How her world would collapse if Mafuyu were to have heard that. Her heart is hammering in her chest.
“No, she doesn’t and won’t.” Mizuki looks at her with painful understanding, but Ena looks the slightest bit irritated.
“Kanade, it’s gonna hurt you more keeping this in.” Kanade looks at her a little shamefully before nodding her head in agreement.
“I know, but she doesn’t know her feelings. It’s hard for her to even decipher basic ones, love is complex and would stress her out. I.. I don’t want to do that.” Kanade’s eyes water for a second before she stops them. This situation doesn’t make her sad, it’s just.. annoying. Mafuyu is her everything, always has been, but she’s been able to estrange herself from these feelings this long. However, the more caring Mafuyu gets, the more Kanade feels herself crumble under the pressure.
“Well, maybe just let her figure it out herself.” Mizuki suggests, quickly getting an angry look from Ena. “I don’t mean wait for it to happen organically, that’d take ages with Mafuyu. Maybe just be honest with her like you tell her to be. Tell her how good her affection makes you feel, but without confessing to her. Show your belly a little.” Mizuki giggles a little when she finishes talking.
“She’s not a dog Mizuki.” Ena barks, making Mizuki laugh louder in response. Just be honest? That can’t be so hard.
“Thanks Mizuki.” Kanade says, a smile returning to her face instead of the uncomfortable mix of shame and embarrassment.
“You can’t be serious. You’re listening to her?” Ena asks Kanade wide eyed.
“Well,” Kanade shrugs, “dogs who show their bellies get pet.” She smiles sheepishly and feels the pink creeping back on her face. Ena sighs in exasperation and Mizuki laughs again like she’s never laughed before.
“What’s going on?” Mafuyu asks from her seat, quickly reappearing like she always does. Kanade gasps out of shock and looks at her, followed by a now silent Ena and Mizuki. Still without a response, Mafuyu speaks again. “Should we go to the counter and ask for the bill? I’d like to go home.” Mizuki smirks, laughing slightly before speaking.
“Why, you got a hot date?” Ena very obviously elbows Mizuki, causing a hiss of pain, but Mafuyu doesn’t react.
“No. We are simply done eating.” Mafuyu trails off but looks like she isn’t done talking, eventually starting again. “Plus, Kanade was up late last night. I think it’d be best if she rested a little before our meeting today.” Kanade feels a blush begin to overtake her face at the redirected attention. She thought she had covered it up fairly well, had she not?
“Honestly, yeah. You were basically asleep during half the meal.” Ena says, lightly sighing and cracking a smile.
“Let’s get going then!” Mizuki exclaims, sliding out of the booth and jumping up. Mafuyu stands as well, reaching her hand out to offer Kanade assistance. Kanade falters, glancing at Mizuki and Ena. They’re both absorbed in their own thing, Ena still working on standing up while Mizuki pesters from beside her. Kanade takes the hand and is swiftly pulled up by Mafuyu. Maybe this honesty thing will be a little harder than she thought.
Closing the door behind them as they enter Kanade’s home, Mafuyu speaks.
“Go ahead and lay down, you could barely stay awake on the walk here.” She turns around after shutting the door, seeing Kanade shake her head no.
“No, it’s okay. I’m really not–” Kanade slurs, but is cut off.
“Kanade.” Mafuyu’s voice is firm and final, a commanding voice that doesn’t scare Kanade but makes her listen.
“Okay. Tell me if you need me.” She punctuates her statement with a poorly muffled yawn into the crook of her elbow, turning around to walk to her room. She pushes the door open and doesn’t bother closing it, stumbling over to her bed. She flops down on top of her blankets and sighs. There’s a distant sound of Mafuyu doing something downstairs, but in her exhaustion she can’t make out what it is.
She could very well fall asleep where she is now, but Mafuyu would scold her. She groans and begins shifting herself under the blankets, curling up smack dab in the middle of her bed and feeling her eyes already instinctively beginning to shut. It’s cold on her skin, neither pleasant nor unpleasant, just a sensation. Kanade hears her own breathing start to slow and knows that’s it.
Slowly regaining consciousness, the world around Kanade begins to become more clear. There’s the faint whirring of a fan, Mafuyu probably turned on the one downstairs. Her mouth is dry and she can't help wondering how long she’s been asleep. Did she miss their meeting? No, Mafuyu wouldn’t have let her. Speaking of Mafuyu, Kanade can’t hear her downstairs.
Kanade shifts slightly, only then feeling the heat around her. She concludes it’s her body heat mingling with the blanket around her, but the warmth in the middle of her back is stronger than the rest of her body. Puffs of her own air hit her face, presumably bouncing off of something and returning back to her. There’s a light pressure on the back of her head despite her laying on her side.
She inhales sharply and extends her legs, her body shaking a little from the stretch. She smells.. not her pillow or blanket. It’s a faintly comforting smell, but not something she can place. Slowly, her eyes crack open and are met with blackness. Well that’s helpful. She leans her body backward but is quickly pulled back to her spot.
“Mm?” She hums in confusion, tilting her head up. Half lidded purple eyes meet Kanade’s, gazing without reservation. “What’s going on?” Kanade's voice cracks from lack of use, but her message remains clear.
“Wanted to be close to you. Should I leave?” Mafuyu’s eyes remain stone cold, but Kanade can hear the small tinge of fear in her voice. Fear of refusal, fear of being reprimanded, fear of exile. Kanade idly thinks that she’d never do that, that she’d take the stars from the sky one by one if Mafuyu so wished.
“No. Stay.” Is what Kanade chooses to respond with, lowering her head back down into the blackness that she now realizes is Mafuyu’s shirt. She analyzes the sensations around her more carefully, now recognizing the fingers of a hand responsible for the heat on her back and pressure on her head. Slowly, she feels the fingers on her head card through her hair. She shudders involuntarily, sighing from relief.
“I like it when you do that.” She nearly whispers, unsure if Mafuyu can even hear her. “It feels so good.” Kanade melts into the affection and ignores the silence she gets in return. Mafuyu’s hand continues moving through her hair, her head tingling every time her nails dully scratch. After a long while, Mafuyu responds.
“It makes sense. The scalp is a sensitive part of the human body, being that it has many blood vessels and nerve endings. With careful stimulation, it can feel quite pleasurable on the recipient.” Ah, textbook mode. It only makes sense that Mafuyu knows so much about the body, studying so much and all. Mafuyu sounds a little drained of life as she speaks, and Kanade can only assume it’s because she’s remembering her mother.
“Do you want a turn?” Kanade says in even harder to distinguish speech. She feels Mafuyu’s hand abruptly come to a stop.
“A turn? For what?” Normally, this is the part where Kanade would back off. How awkward would it be to say that she wants to stroke Mafuyu’s head? It’d be even worse to admit that she wants to do it to rid Mafuyu of bad memories, to replace the memory of studying under her mother’s watchful eye with a warm dose of affection. However, Kanade doesn’t think of this in her sleep deprived haze.
“For me to pet you. It feels good for me, so you’d probably like it too, right?” Mafuyu hesitates again, not moving or even breathing. Finally, she speaks so quietly that Kanade has to strain her ears to hear it.
“Okay.” Kanade helps Mafuyu shimmy down on the bed, switching their positions. Even if Mafuyu is physically larger and more able to encompass someone in an embrace, Kanade tries to fill the difference with the emotion she conveys. Mafuyu’s head is under hers, arms wrapped around her torso like a koala would cling to a tree. Kanade lazily chuckles before moving her hands around Mafuyu.
Copying Mafuyu’s position from earlier, she puts one hand firmly on her back and another on the back of her head. Even though her nails are shorter and less kempt, the effect of her ministrations are still the same. As her hand moves slowly around Mafuyu’s head, she hears the low buzz emanating from the depths of Mafuyu’s throat. As rigid a person she is, her body starts to soften and mold into the hold Kanade has on her.
It’s undeniable that Kanade knows Mafuyu is human, but with her acting so detached all of the time it becomes difficult to know which human excitements make her heart pump just a little faster. Kanade has always been standoffish when giving or receiving affection, unsure of where the line should be drawn because of her isolation from such a young age. It becomes clear though that this is the type of action Mafuyu enjoys.
Mafuyu’s face is pressed close to Kanade’s torso, so much so that Kanade worries about her ability to take in air. Her hand continues moving, slowly up and down Mafuyu’s hair, sometimes taking a moment to lightly scratch at her scalp. Mafuyu makes no purposeful sounds. No words, no noise of affirmation, just the steady rise and fall of her back that is accompanied by barely noticeable sleeping sounds.
Kanade compares this to her earlier exhaustion, laying alone in her cold bed and succumbing to sleep alone. While it felt good in the moment ,she quickly decides that this scene is something she prefers a lot more. Mafuyu wasn’t verbally receptive to her small, honest advances today, but she was physically. ‘Is this a step forward?’ Kanade wonders absentmindedly as she feels her own eyes shut.