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The hyperloop pod hummed, a steady, comforting vibration through the floor. Then, it stuttered. The soft white light panels lining the ceiling flickered once, twice, and died, plunging the compartment into darkness.
Ben groaned, his face pale as snow in the gloom. The material pressed against his side was already soaked, creating a dark, spreading stain.
"Kenji?" Ben’s voice was thin, a threadbare sound. "Why’d the lights go out?"
"Just a glitch." Kenji said, his own voice tight. "They’ll come back on. We’ll be at the airport in fifteen minutes. Medics are waiting there."
After a while, the lights came back on, but the hyperloop pod still didn’t move. Ben, however, was too weak to notice.
Kenji looked at him - he didn't look good. Kenji knew that Ben was running out of time, that if they didn't get to the airport, Ben would die.
But Kenji immediately dismissed those thoughts. He wouldn't let Ben die. He had already lost too many people. He couldn't lose him too.
"Do you think you can walk?" Kenji asked hesitantly as he approached Ben.
But Ben didn't answer. He seemed absent, and his eyes were half-open, fixed on the ceiling, but they saw nothing Kenji could see.
"These stars are so beautiful." Ben finally said, staring at the ceiling. There were no stars there, and Kenji knew it.
Was Ben hallucinating? It wasn't a good sign. Kenji decided not to waste any more time. He wrapped Ben's arm around his neck to help him stand up.
"Ben. Look at me. Look at me."
Ben’s wandering gaze slowly settled. Now he was looking straight at Kenji.
"Gia..." He trailed off. His breathing hitched, a wet, awful sound. Kenji’s stomach dropped.
"Ben, it’s me. It’s Kenji." Kenji's voice was shaking.
"You came." Ben sighed, a smile ghosting his lips. It was a smile Kenji had seen a hundred times, directed at her. "I knew you’d find me."
The words shouldn’t have hurt. Ben was dying. His brain was drowning. But they did hurt, a sharp, clean pain right behind Kenji’s ribs. He opened his mouth to correct him again. But he didn’t.
His thoughts returned to Isla Nublar. Years ago, when Sammy was poisoned by the Scorpios rex, she had also mistaken him for someone else. She thought he was her cow.
Brooklynn had told him that it was a good way to keep someone alive. A brain in crisis needed an anchor, any anchor. So he had pretended to be that cow for Sammy.
Thanks to that, he had managed to keep her alive until Yaz returned with the antidote.
So now, as he looked at Ben, he knew what to do.
He let his posture change, the set of his shoulders softening. He leaned in a little closer, until his face was all Ben could see. When he spoke, his voice was gentler than his own. A poor imitation, but it was all he had.
"Of course I came." he murmured. "I’ll always find you."
Ben smiled gently. He tried to lift a hand, but it fell back down.
"I knew it. The stars told me you would come and now you're here."
"I’m here." Kenji echoed, the lie thick on his tongue. "You have to stay with me, okay? Don't look at the stars anymore."
"S’okay." His eyes drifted shut. "When we get out of here, I'll take you on that date I promised you."
These words pierced Kenji's heart. He shouldn't be jealous. Gia was a wonderful girl and Ben had really loved her very much.
But deep down he knew his feelings for Ben weren't just platonic. He was in love with Ben, and this situation wasn't helping him forget about those feelings.
"Oh, yeah? Tell me about it." Kenji said, trying to act normal. As if he were Gia.
"No way, it'll be a surprise." Ben replied, shaking his head with a smile. The sight made Kenji's heart beat faster.
His hand moved with more purpose. It rose, shaky, and his fingertips brushed the line of Kenji’s jaw. The touch was feather-light and cold but it sent a jolt through Kenji that had nothing to do with fear.
He held perfectly still. Ben’s thumb traced the curve of Kenji’s cheekbone.
"So pretty." He breathed. Kenji saw so much love in his eyes that he felt sick. "You’re so pretty."
Kenji couldn’t breathe. The touch, meant for another, was the most intimate contact they’d ever had. It burned. It was everything he’d ever wanted and the worst thing he could imagine.
He leaned into it. Just a fraction. A silent, guilty acceptance of the gift he hadn’t earned.
"You’re shivering." Ben murmured, his thumb pausing.
"I’m okay." Kenji whispered back, forcing the gentleness into his tone. "Just worried about you."
It was true - Kenji still knew Ben was dying and needed help as soon as possible. But he didn't want this moment to ever end.
"Don’t be." Ben’s hand slid lower, his cold fingers brushing the column of Kenji’s throat, resting just above the frantic pulse there. "We’re together and that’s all that matters."
The words were a knife twist. Kenji’s eyes stung. He blinked rapidly, refusing to let the tears fall.
"That’s right." Kenji said, his voice cracking. He covered Ben’s cold hand with his own, holding it against his throat. He could feel his own heartbeat hammering against Ben’s fingertips. "We’re together. So we have to get to the airport to find help for you."
Kenji wanted to get up, but Ben grabbed his hand. The grip wasn't firm, which only confirmed Kenji's belief that Ben was getting worse.
"Can you kiss me?" Ben asked. "I'm afraid I won't make it in time."
The words hung in the air. Kenji froze. Every muscle locked. Ben’s cold fingers were still around his wrist, a silent plea. He couldn’t.
Gia was kind and she didn’t deserve this. His conscience screamed it.
Ben’s eyes were half-lidded, glazed with pain and confusion, but the expectation was there.
"Don't say that. Everything will be fine." Kenji whispered, his voice strained. He tried to lean back further, to put more space between them.
"Gia." Ben murmured, and the name was a hook in Kenji’s heart. Ben’s free hand came up, slow and unsteady. It found the side of Kenji’s face. His palm was cool, his touch startlingly gentle. "Please?"
The contact was an electric shock. Kenji’s breath stopped. He could feel the calluses on Ben’s fingers, the chill of his skin. He thinks I’m her. He’s dying and he wants to kiss his girlfriend. That’s all this is.
It was the only thing holding him together.
Kenji closed his eyes. He thought of Gia’s smile when she’d handed him a bowl of pasta. He thought of her kindness to him and the others. The guilt was a hot, sick wave. He leaned in.
He let his eyes drift shut. He tilted his head, just a fraction. He could feel the faint, shallow puff of Ben’s breath against his lips. This is keeping him alive. It’s not real.
He closed the final, impossible gap.
The kiss was dry. A soft, closed-mouth press of lips that lasted less than three seconds. Kenji’s entire world narrowed to the point of contact - the coldness of Ben’s lips.
When he pulled back, his lungs were burning and he felt as if he couldn't breathe. The taste of salt from his own tear was on his lips. He swiped at his mouth with the back of his wrist, a frantic, guilty motion.
He looked at Ben’s pale face and their eyes met. A slow, tired smile touched Ben's lips.
"You’re a good kisser, Kenji."
Kenji jerked back as if burned. The world tilted. "What?"
"I said." Ben repeated, his voice a thread of sound but utterly clear. "You’re a good kisser."
"You… you knew?" The words were a strangled whisper. Kenji’s mind raced, tripping over every touch, every whispered words, every stolen moment of the last few minutes. The heat in his face became a conflagration of pure, undiluted shame. "You knew it was me?"
Ben’s smile didn’t fade. It was faint, but it held a trace of his old, knowing self.
"You’re a terrible actor." He swallowed with visible effort. "And I wanted to see how you would react."
"If you knew, then why? Why did you… why did you let me…" He couldn’t say it.
"Because I wanted to." Ben breathed. He lifted his hand, the movement costing him, and let his knuckles brush against Kenji’s jaw again. This time, the intent was unmistakable. It was for Kenji. "I’ve wanted to for a long time and I don't want to die knowing I never did it."
The admission hung between them, fragile and immense. It made no sense because it contradicted everything.
"What about Gia?" Kenji blurted out. "Now you're going to go back to her and take her on that date you were talking about?" As if nothing had happened.
Ben’s eyes drifted shut for a second, then opened, holding Kenji’s gaze with an effort.
"We broke up. At her place, I realized how I truly felt. For you." Ben admitted, squeezing his eyes shut. "When I was talking about that date, I meant you and me, Kenji."
"You never said anything." Kenji whispered, his voice raw.
"Neither did you."
Kenji knew Ben was right. He didn't have the courage to tell him about his feelings. Even if he had known that Ben and Gia were no longer together, he would never have told Ben about his feelings.
Kenji just sighed, holding out his hand for Ben to take.
"Now come on, we have to get to the airport. The others are probably waiting for us." Kenji said, changing the subject.
Ben grabbed onto Kenji and allowed him to help him out of the pod.
"Kenji?" Ben whispered.
"I’m here."
"If I… if I make it… will you kiss me again?"
The question was so blunt that it finally broke the dam. A sob tore from Kenji’s throat.
"Yes." He choked out. "Yes, you idiot."
Ben smiled, and he and Kenji set off towards the airport.