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Happy birthday, Kip.
That was the last text Scott had sent him– and Kip hadn’t even replied. He was so busy celebrating with his friends and with his dad that he didn’t even see Scott had text him until days later. More than enough time for Scott to try texting again, but he hadn’t. Part of Kip– the part that he had been ignoring since the last time he had spoken to Scott– was hurt by this; did he not care enough to try to contact Kip again? The rest of Kip– the part that Elena called too kind for his own good– put himself in Scott’s shoes; of course he hadn’t text Kip again, Kip had given no indication that he wanted Scott to. He hadn’t replied, and knowing Scott, the hockey player had taken it as a sign that Kip wanted nothing to do with him.
Kip really wished he wanted nothing to do with Scott Hunter.
Even with all the hiding and secrecy, Kip loved Scott. He loved spending time with him, laughing with him, sleeping with him, having sex with him, all of it. Not a day had passed him by where he didn’t miss Scott with every fiber of his being. He knew that he could fix this– he could reach out to Scott, actually try talking to him about their relationship and what it meant to both of them. He could make all of the pain between them go away, he could get the man he loved back into his arms.
Instead, Kip festered in his sadness and anger. Why should he have to be the one to fix everything between him and Scott? Just because Scott was too scared of the world didn’t mean Kip had to be too. That’s not fair, Kip thought to himself. You know why he’s afraid. You know what he was risking for you.
Kip tried to ignore that voice in his head telling him he could fix things. He tried to ignore the ache in his heart as he saw headline after headline about how the Admirals were doing in the playoffs. He tried to focus on his Masters program, tried to focus on his new job at the Kingfisher, tried to focus on anything other than Scott Hunter. Even as Scott was plastered everywhere Kip looked, he still tried to ignore the hockey player, tried to forget everything that Scott had meant to him.
“Dad, I’m home,” Kip called as he entered the house. The light was on in the kitchen, but he didn’t see his dad anywhere; not necessarily surprising since Kip had the late shift tonight and it was just after one in the morning, but Kip’s dad had a habit of waiting up for his son, even with these late shifts. Tossing his bag to the side and hanging up his jacket, Kip made his way into the kitchen, pausing when he saw a cream colored envelope in the middle of the table. Even from far away, he could see that it was addressed to him. His dad hadn't said anything about it like he usually did– he loved to tell Kip when he got mail. Hesitantly, Kip picked up the envelope, pausing at the weight of it. Tears started to sting his eyes when he saw the familiar handwriting that curved into his name.
Dear Kip, the letter started. The word ‘dear’ was written, scratched out, and then written again– as if Scott didn’t know if he was allowed to call Kip that. Kip’s heart ached at the thought.
I know I'm probably the last person you want to hear from. Maybe even the last person you want to hear from ever again. But I don't know that I can let you go so easily- not if there's a chance I could fight for you. It's a lot to ask– I know it is– but I'd love for you to come to the game tomorrow. I've included tickets for you, your dad, and Elena– if you're willing to come at all, I'd love to see you there. And then after, maybe we can talk? All I know, Kip Grady, is that I've been a hollow man without you and if I can at least try to explain myself after the game– hopefully after we win– I'd be the happiest man around. I hope I see you.
Love Yours,
Scott
“Fuck,” Kip muttered, tears streaming down his cheeks. He had been missing Scott like crazy but he never once thought– “Fuck.”
“He delivered it himself,” his dad said, stepping into the kitchen with two mugs in hand. He must’ve been waiting for Kip to see the envelope before saying anything; given the hot chocolate in the mug, Kip knew his dad could tell it would be an emotional conversation. “Damn near gave me a heart attack to see Scott Hunter standing at my doorstep.”
“Sorry, dad,” Kip said with a small sniffle as he re-read the letter. “I just… I don’t know what to say, really.”
His dad came and wrapped his arms around Kip, holding him the same way he had held Kip on the night things had ended with Scott in the first place. “Why don’t you get some sleep, kiddo, and we can talk about it in the morning? I’ve already called Elena, she’ll be over to help with whatever this is, okay? You’re not alone, Kip. We’ve got you.”
Kip nodded, hesitating before deciding to take the letter into his room with him. He read it two more times before finally putting it down, sleep forcing him not to think about it.
***
“So, yeah,” Kip finished awkwardly. His dad stared at him with wide eyes while Elena gave him a small, reassuring smile. “That’s why Scott Hunter was at our door asking for me. Because we–” Were in love, meant the world to each other, trusted each other despite it all– “–had a thing for a bit.”
“Seems like more than a thing if you ask me,” his dad said, looking at the tickets in his hands that Scott had sent.
“Oh, it was,” Elena said. Kip shot her a glare, but she shrugged. “Look, Kip, you know I love you to pieces but calling what you and Hunter had ‘a thing’ is doing a disservice to both of you. I saw how you were about him. And– as much as I hate to admit it– I saw how he was about you. The way he talked about you at the gala… I won’t pretend to understand him, Kip, but I know he cares about you.”
The use of present tense for ‘care’ was not lost on Kip. Elena was never one to mince her words– if she thought anything about Scott was in the past for either of them, she would’ve said. “Still,” Kip deflected. “It… It wasn’t sustainable. Not with him being so afraid of being outed– and I get that, I do, he’s in a dangerous position with his job and his teammates, but I…” Kip sighed. “I didn’t know how to help him. Still don’t, really.”
His dad looked him up and down, as if assessing Kip’s very core. “Well, the simplest place to start seems to be going to that game tonight.”
That was not at all what Kip thought his father would say. “What?”
“I know you, Kip,” his dad said, grabbing his hand and squeezing it once. “I know that you’ve likely been kicking yourself for weeks now trying to figure out if you should talk to him or not. I’ve seen how lost you’ve been– like you’re drifting through the day, even when you try and tell me that you’re excited about all the new things happening in your life. I didn’t expect that you’d been so in your head because of Scott Hunter, but I could tell it was something with your love life, even if you wouldn’t tell me. I know you’ve been trying to figure out how to feel about all of this, and going to this game seems like the easiest way to start. You go to the game, watch him play, and then you talk to him. Because that’s what you want to do–” his dad gestured to the letter laying on the table. “It’s what you both want to do.”
“He’s right,” Elena agreed, extending one hand to Kip and the other to his father, linking the three of them together. “What’s going on now isn’t sustainable– you need closure, and this is Scott offering it to you.”
But what if I don’t want that door to close forever? Kip thought. What if I don’t want to have to say goodbye for real?
“Kip,” Elena said, squeezing his hand. “It’s going to be okay, okay? We’ll be right there with you.”
He found himself nodding, despite wanting to shut this whole thing down for good. “Yeah. Okay, we’ll go.”
***
Seeing Scott win had always been thrilling to Kip. Seeing Scott win the championship cup? Exhilarating was the only word for it. Scott was beaming– Kip could see it from the seats. He was so proud of Scott– and his heart ached because of it.
“Hey,” Elena said, reaching up to wipe Kip’s tears away.
“I’m not sad,” Kip said, and it was almost true. Yes, things had ended with Scott but there was the chance for closure after all of this was said and done– though that might not even happen now that they’d won. Even if Scott said that he was hoping to talk to Kip after the win, that didn’t mean it would be possible– Scott was going to be a hot commodity all night, Kip doubted Scott would have the time for him.
“You’re allowed to be,” Elena replied, pulling him into a side hug. “I know what’s going on in that head of yours, Kip, and I don’t want you pretending to be fine if you’re not.”
Kip sighed. “I really did want to talk to him,” he admitted. “But there’s no way that’ll happen now. He’s going to have to deal with the press and then celebrating with his team–”
The sight of Scott waving at someone stopped Kip in his tracks. It almost looked like–
“Yes, you.” Even through the commotion, Kip could still hear Scott’s voice, could see the way he smiled at Kip as he waved him down again.
Elena pushed Kip from his seat, squealing out encouragements as Kip fought his way down towards the ice. Scott had been skating close and closer to where Kip was, opening a door for him and pulling him onto the ice. Kip could faintly hear sounds of confusion, announcers wondering about the lucky fan who was called onto the ice, but all of that was background noise with Scott Hunter right in his sights.
“I didn’t want to do this this way,” Scott said with a small laugh, like he couldn’t believe this was happening; Kip couldn’t quite believe it either. “There was so much that I wanted to say to you, but I just–”
“You don’t have to do this,” Kip said, seeing where this was heading and feeling his heart pound in his chest.
“Yes, I do,” Scott said. He leaned in slowly at first, as if giving Kip time to pull away. Kip couldn’t have pulled away even if he wanted to– and he definitely didn’t. Because Scott Hunter was kissing him in front of the entire stadium– he was kissing Kip like Kip was the only thing in the world that matters, like Kip was more important than winning the championship after over twenty years. Scott pressed their foreheads together when they pulled apart. “I love you so fucking much,” he whispered, just loud enough for Kip to hear. “I’m sorry that I let you go before.”
Words were failing Kip– how could there possibly be words for the joy and pride and love Kip was feeling for the man in front of him? All he could do was pull Scott into a massive hug, tears soaking into both of their shoulders as they held each other and wept– this time tears of joy instead of sadness.
One of Scott’s teammates skated up, tapping Scott on the shoulder and saying something about the press. Scott rolled his eyes before kissing Kip again– once on the lips and then again on the forehead. “I have to go, but I’ll find you after? Maybe we can meet at the Kingfisher?”
“I’d love that,” Kip said, still in a state of disbelief. Scott had almost skated away when Kip realized his mistake. “Scott, wait!” Scott turned around, a concerned look on his face for a moment before he saw Kip’s smile. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Kip,” Scott said, a look of unrestrained joy on his face. His teammate– Vaughn, if Kip remembered the number on his chest correctly– looked both fond and annoyed as Scott skated back towards Kip, kissing him again. “Kingfisher. Just give me like an hour, okay? I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
Kip grinned as Vaughn started to physically drag Scott away, shouting that it was “nice to finally meet Hunter’s boyfriend” and that he’d “make sure Scott got where he was meant to go”. His heart felt light, airy in a way it hadn’t been in months. Scott loved him. Scott had kissed him in front of the world. Scott was going to meet him at the Kingfisher in an hour.
“I’ll be waiting,” Kip whispered to himself, waving to Scott as he disappeared in a crowd of other Admirals. He raced back up the stairs to tell Elena the plan, buzzing with excitement as he went. He was going to go out with Scott, in public, as his boyfriend. As someone Scott loves.
“I take it it all worked out?” his dad teased as Kip made it back to their seats.
“Yeah,” Kip said, staring across the ice at the love of his life. “Yeah, it did.”