Chapter Text
The afternoon inside the Hazbin Hotel was draped in a lazy silence that usually preceded a chaotic storm. The lobby, still smelling of fresh paint and new lumber from the recent rebuilding efforts, was a hive of quiet activity as the staff prepared for the grand reopening. At the center of the lobby, Alastor and Lucifer were locked in their daily ritual of passive-aggressive competition.
Alastor used his shadows to hang streamers with terrifying, jagged precision, while Lucifer floated nearby, conjuring shimmering gold glitter-birds to carry banners just a few inches higher than the demon’s reach. They were so preoccupied with trading glares—Lucifer "accidentally" bumping Alastor’s shoulder and Alastor leading his cane to trip the King—that they barely noticed the rest of the hotel staff.
Just a few feet away, Angel Dust was sprawled across a velvet sofa, idly tossing a ball for Fat Nuggets. Cherri Bomb, staying at the hotel as a guest during the transition, leaned against a nearby pillar, nursing a drink and watching the display with an amused smirk.
"So, when are you two gonna skip to the foreplay?" Angel snickered, leaning back to watch the show.
"I’d bet fifty soul-credits the King snaps first," Cherri added, her single eye gleaming with mischief.
Vaggie stood near the fireplace, meticulously polishing her spear. "Ignore them, Angel. If they want to waste their magic on party favors, let them," she muttered. At the bar, Husk wiped down a glass with a heavy sigh. "As long as they don't break the damn booze, I don't care."
Niffty was a blurring streak of red and white, scurrying along the baseboards. "Pests! Pests in the walls!" she squealed, stabbing at the plaster.
The peace was shattered when the air in the center of the room tore open like jagged glass. A rift of crimson and gold light spat out three figures who tumbled onto the rug in a chaotic heap; just as quickly as it had appeared, the portal snapped shut with a sharp, vacuum-like pop, leaving only a lingering trail of shimmering sparks in its wake.
"Oof! Cilli, get your knee out of my ribs!" a boy’s voice barked.
"Maybe if you weren't hogging the stabilizer, Alfie, I could actually land properly!" The girl retorted, shaking out her dark red hair.
As the dust settled, the hotel staff gathered in a wary circle. Lucifer and Alastor stood side-by-side, both wearing expressions of bewildered distaste. "Who in the seven rings are you children?" Lucifer asked, gripping his cane.
The trio stood up, revealing a striking blend of the two rivals. Alphonse (Alfie), the older twin, had Alastor’s tall, lanky frame and sharp, permanent grin, but his hair was a shocking, shimmering Morningstar blonde. His blonde deer ears and matching tail twitched with radio static, and his antlers curved upward into the shape of Lucifer’s horns, glowing with a golden sheen.
Next to him was Lucillia (Cilli), who carried the unmistakable hallmarks of the royal line: porcelain skin and bright, rosy cheeks. However, she sported Alastor’s dark red hair and twitching deer ears. As she stood, four feathered wings—a mix of crimson and angelic white—flared briefly behind her before tucking away. There was also Atticus, a toddler with a head of messy red curls, tiny velvet deer ears, and a cute little deer tail. He had miniature obsidian antlers and radiated a pure, pearlescent angelic aura.
"Uh... Dad?" Cilli looked at the younger Lucifer, then at Alastor. "Oh, crumbs. Alfie, we messed up the portal settings. They look... tiny. And they aren't even wearing their rings!"
"I refuse to believe it," Alastor remarked, though his ears twitched curiously. "I don't 'mate,’ especially not with a tacky circus act.”
"Tacky?!" Lucifer squawked, a dusting of gold beginning to heat his cheeks. "I'm the King! I have standards! I wouldn't touch this creepy deer-man with a ten-foot pole!"
Alfie rolled his eyes, leaning back against the bar counter with a smug, tech-wizard confidence. "You guys are literally wearing the same expressions you use when you're flirting. It’s gross.”
Angel Dust let out a loud, barking whistle. "Holy shit! Smiles and Short King actually did it! Look at 'em, they’ve all got the deer ears. You two really went and made a whole litter of little abominations, huh? I knew those 'arguments' in the hallway sounded a little too rhythmic."
"Shut up, Angel!" Lucifer and Alastor yelled in perfect, terrifying unison.
Charlie, meanwhile, began to vibrate with overwhelming joy. "Wait! Children? Future children? From you two? Does this mean I’m a big sister?!" She lunged toward Cilli, grabbing her hands. "I'm a big sister! Are we close? Do we have slumber parties? Oh my god, Vaggie! I need to go make a celebratory banner right now!"
Cilli laughed, squeezing Charlie’s hands with her warrior-like grip. "The hotel is a massive success, Big Sis. You and Vaggie turned the whole system upside down. There’s a line around the block for check-ins every morning. And the Palace is basically one giant petting zoo now. Father plays the piano while Dad makes more rubber ducks than we know what to do with."
For several hours, the children made themselves at home. Atticus spent most of the time toddling over to the younger, golden-blushed Lucifer. "Ma! Mama!" he babbled, grabbing at the King’s coattails. Lucifer’s face turned a brilliant, shimmering gold, but as he looked down at the toddler's red eyes and celestial light, his heart melted. He gently scooped the boy into his arms. "Oh... hello there, little guy," Lucifer murmured, his voice softening into a coo.
Alastor, leaning on his cane, let out a crackling laugh. "Oh, your Majesty! It seems the little one has quite an eye for talent. 'Mama' suits you, don't you think? It matches your... maternal instincts."
"Shut up, you overgrown venison!" Lucifer barked, though he held the baby closer.
Alfie sauntered over to Husk and Angel with a knowing smirk. "You two should really quit the 'just friends' act," he said, his voice carrying a hint of Alastor's melodic static. "In our time, Uncle Angel and Uncle Husk are the most iconic couple in the Pentagram. They run the lounge together, and honestly? Seeing you two pretend to be strangers is just painful."
Husk nearly dropped his glass, while Angel’s four arms went still. "Hear that, Whiskers?" Angel purred. "It's destiny. "
Cherri whistled from her spot by the bar. "Well, looks like I'm gonna be a third wheel to a lot of romance in the future. Can't say I'm surprised about you two, though."
Just as the sun began to set, the lobby was suddenly flooded with a blinding radiance. The air parted like heavy velvet curtains. A grand gateway opened, shimmering with celestial gold and deep crimson. Stepping through with a synchronized, royal grace were two men who commanded every ounce of the atmosphere.
Future Lucifer moved with a fluid, regal lightness, his blonde hair flowing loosely over his shoulders. Beside him, Future Alastor walked with poised, predatory elegance, his hair gathered into a sleek, low ponytail.
"Lucillia. Alphonse," Future Alastor’s voice echoed with rich distortion. "I believe we discussed the dangers of playing with spacetime."
"But Father! We were just exploring!" Alfie whined, crossing his arms and pouting exactly like a younger Alastor.
Cilli stood her ground. "Nooo! It’s not fair! We just got here!"
Atticus squealed, "Ma! Mama!" and reached for Future Lucifer, who caught the toddler with ease.
"I know, I know, but it's time to go home," Future Lucifer laughed. He turned to the past Charlie, pulling her into a warm hug. "Keep going, Char-Char. You have no idea how beautiful the world you're building becomes. I'm so proud of you."
Future Lucifer then glided over to the past Alastor. "You know, my love," he whispered, leaning in close, "I’d forgotten how charmingly grumpy you were. Stop trying to hide that heart. It’s much more fun when you let me in." He patted Alastor's cheek and blew a lingering, graceful kiss to the stunned Radio Demon.
Meanwhile, Future Alastor glided toward the past, golden-blushed Lucifer. He tilted the younger King’s chin up with a clawed finger. "A bit of advice, baby," he murmured. "Stop fighting the inevitable. The sooner you admit you find my shadow-play delightful, the sooner we can get to the part where you let me pin you against the throne."
Younger Lucifer turned a shade of red that rivaled Alastor's coat. "I—you—we—" He stammered, unable to form a coherent sentence.
"I don't wanna go back yet!" Alfie groaned as Future Alastor herded them toward the rift.
"Cilli’s the one who messed up anyway!"
"I didn’t mean to!" Cilli huffed, dragging her feet.
"Goodbye, everyone!" Future Lucifer called out with a wave. "And goodbye, past us! Try to be nice to each other tonight!"
Future Alastor gave a low, sweeping bow. As they stepped into the portal, he looked back at his younger self. "Patience, old boy. The payoff is... exquisite."
The portal snapped shut. A golden ripple washed over the room. Charlie blinked, shaking her head. "Wait, what were we just talking about?"
"I... I can't remember," Vaggie muttered. "Something about a breach?"
The memory was gone, wiped clean by the paradox-correction. But as the hotel returned to its usual routine, something had shifted. Alastor found himself watching the way Lucifer gestured with his hands while he talked, finding it strangely... endearing.
Across the room, Lucifer caught Alastor’s eye and felt a sudden, inexplicable flutter in his chest. "Everything alright, Alastor?" Lucifer asked, his voice softer than usual.
"Fine, your Majesty," Alastor replied, his smile softening into something genuine. "Just... a strange feeling that I’ve been missing out on something wonderful."
Nearby, the rest of the staff felt the lingering warmth. Charlie wiped a stray tear she couldn't explain, turning to Vaggie with a bright, hopeful beam. "I feel like today was a huge success, don't you?"
Vaggie smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "If you're happy, I'm happy, hon.”
At the bar, Husk looked at Angel Dust, who was unusually quiet. Angel didn't have a snappy comeback; he just leaned against the wood, looking at Husk with a soft, thoughtful expression.
"Hey, Whiskers... you wanna grab a real drink after shift? Just us?" Husk grunted, but his wings gave a small, contented flutter. "Yeah. I’d like that."
Cherri stretched, her boots clacking against the floor. "Don't know why, but I feel like I'm in the mood to celebrate. Let's make it a double, Husky."
In the corner, Niffty giggled to herself, clutching a tiny, single golden hair she’d plucked from the air. "New friends are so messy," she whispered, "but I think I'll keep this one."