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{1} Valk and Dom
“Meddyy!! How’s the eye?”
“Subspace, you look like shit today.”
“Me ?! ME? I’m the great, magnificent, ingenious, Subspace Tripmine thank you. I look great.”
Everyone in the backstage of today’s arena shot him with a doubtful look. Everyone. Because for a man with only one eye, that eye sure had enough bag to hold all his equipment, no extra pockets required. It was arguable, actually, that even his eye bags sported eye bags.
“Well I think we all need to look at Meddy’s eye bags!! They’re huge and saggy! Much bigger than my own very stylish dark circles!”
For the rest of the break time, both argued incessantly, including taking a measuring tape to each other’s eyebags, arguing, running around getting different opinions, starting a live audience poll and in the end neither would agree that the other was more sleep deprived. The second match of the day was predictably sloppy, with Medkit falling over before the Ban hammer even touched him… this earned laughter from one very evil academic, until this aforementioned man was interrupted by his own yawn. After all this, neither even stopped to give the usual post match interview, even though Subspace usually loved the attention he and his new biografts would bring to themselves each time.
Only if you were one of a select few staff or a participant yourself would you even notice our two heroes beginning to get closer again… and first to fall victim were Flipside, who had been trying to catch up with the two for those aforementioned interviews on this day… beside their own dressing room was a larger space meant for treating injuries and anyone who needed to be on standby, camera crew, pyrotechnics, even sometimes one or more of the Swords, here to fuck with the arena as arranged by the demigods. In it today were just Medkit and Subspace, face down on the floor together, but with their arms overlapping. Dom came quickly to the worst possible conclusion, crouching down to check for signs of an ambush, checking for drugs or tranquillisers meant to take the two out before the next match… but it was Valk who elbowed him and whispered “Aww! Look! They’re sleeping!?”
So they were… like two planks upon the floor, but shoulders touching, and with their pinkies linked together. Instead of disturbing them and likely getting murdered, the game hosts opted for a special 4v4 multiplier round instead…
The reality of the outcome and how this happened was much less exciting than we may be wishing.
Subspace had simply said “if I’m so much sleepier than you, why don’t we lay down right now and whoever falls asleep first is the loser!” And so down they had went, both preferring to face the floor instead of risk looking at the other. But the heart remembers, for in their sleep, their traitorous pinkies linked up anyway.
The only physical evidence this had ever happened was a low resolution photo Broker taped to the Church employee fridge a week later. In doing so, he may have doomed himself, for it was he who next found the two asleep in each other’s proximity.
{2} Broker
Medkit worked hard, sure, but not that hard… the Broker was bored. Only getting progressively more bored, so he fished out his and Medkit’s last game of chess, wrapped it in cling wrap to preserve the placements, and began the walk to his clinic in the hopes of convincing the stubborn deer demon to play a game. Of course, several inphernals gave him questioning looks, but when had that ever stopped him from doing anything anyway? Sitting up on the counter, he rang the little desk bell again and again, pissing everyone off until he reminded them who subsidised their healthcare here.
Ding. Ding. Ding. Ding ding. Dingdingdingdingding-
“Who the fuck is— can you SHUT IT!?” the head that emerged was most certainly NOT medkit. A crystal was present yes, but the horns were facing forward, not up, and there was a second pair. Subspace, rubbing the at his eye and fixing the covering on other, pushed the door open and walked out like he owned the place, mask missing and hair messier even than normal. When broker (bless his innocent soul gng) pushed open the door and took a peek…
Medkit was fast asleep on the couch, leaned up diagonally, head at a painful looking angle but with a soft blanket thrown over his lap. Even so it was disturbed in a way that revealed a second form would have just been there… a second person which had evidently been leaning up against his shoulder at least.
So had Subspace been gathering blackmail? Should he report it to the others and not lose his job? Of course not. For his job was money, and keeping Medkit compliant and slightly underpaid was one of his most important jobs. Instead, he snapped a photo and sent it off to a selected few with the caption “piping hot blackmail, I think this one’s good for a single free appointment XwO”, but to scythe he made sure to write “CHECK HE DOESN’T HAVE A DATEMATE OUTSIDE OF THE CHURCH OR WE’RE SO FUCKED”
He ended up forgetting his chess set… even worse, when they picked up the game again he laughed so hard at his opponent he lost… though he would soon learn to eat the pieces and set the balance right again.
{3} Hyperlaser
Lowering his sights away from his eye, Hyperlaser checked his watch. Princess would be missing him soon, he needed to be home to begin a new diet the vet had asked for them to try. It was a good time to report back to HQ and clock out for the day. Descending the vantage point, he ended up in the elevator to Subspace’s office to try get the go ahead to leave, since he hadn’t eliminated today’s target and none of the executives were likely to let him off even ten minutes early. Opening the obnoxiously neon pink office door, he called out.
There was no reply. Not even noise of tinkering. How strange… gun raised, the merc slowly checked the building. Most might call this an overreaction, but Inpherno would freeze all the way over before Subspace took an unannounced work break… right? He checked the office, unused break room (breaks were for lesser beings than Subspace, the man himself had proclaimed), the bathroom was empty… so was the much beloved messy lab. Just as he was about to give up after the storage room turned up no results, Hyperlaser heard a little snore. Whipping around, he spied a tiny handle, a hastily concealed secret door. Luckily opening without a whisper, he peered inside and set his visor to ‘night vision’…
Subspace was curled around his phone… asleep on the little armchair hidden away in storage. Notably, this couch had been moved here to buttfuck nowhere after The Medkit Incident, as it had been labeled. The screen lights the rot nicely, and for a moment,Hyperlaser can see the ghost of a man driven by curiosity and ambition to explore the world… before he reads the name and the time… 5 hours.. 34 minutes and counting… on a call with… “SSSTUPID MEDDY 👺” well none of their associates were named that. It could only be that stern medic they fought with and against sometimes. The one Subspace bribed him to target without mercy… he usually felt a little bad. The man was a good healer, and seemed to like cats too. Though he doubted Subspace hated or liked him for his unwavering care of animals.
Ever curious, Hyperlaser watched a moment longer as Subspace leaned in where the phone speaker was and grumbled as he made contact the cold screen instead of a certain not-doctor.
Turning away as his local very evil miasma attached to a guy began to stir, he tried to hide the hidden room again, knocking over an old microscope. Soon Subspace does come out, so sheepishly Hyperlaser clocks out, letting the prototype Snipergraft try its hand at killing today’s target. Back home to Princess he goes, and to tell a friend or two about his discovery when he next drinks.
{4} Sword and Rocket
Sword and Rocket were blissfully out together, a common occurrence. Friday night, the young couple’s date night where the two spent the time after training and matches exploring (anywhere but Playground territory) hand in hand. Today they were out near the salty ocean air and the bridges, when under a tree a flash of teal briefcase caught rocket’s sharp eyes.
“Sword look! Medkit is here! Let’s go say hi?”
“Out here? I didn’t know he was in Crossroads today… let’s go.”
Of course, when they approached, they collapsed into little giggles, trying to take pictures with shaking shoulders and clapping each other on the back when the other one coughed from laughing too much.
Because medkit, known for his seriousness, was wearing a Blackrock patterned asymmetrical jacket, minus one sleeve. The bright pink trim and zippers betrayed its true owner. Sitting snugly, clearly it was a little too long for him, ending up looking quite stupid.
“Gods-“ Sword tries to stop giggling profusely “can you believe he actually used to wear that pattern? Daily?”
“I can’t believe he’s wearing it now… it looks so… fucking bad… can you imagine medkit our age…”
“Phuck no. He’s as old as time of course, but perpetually 30.”
They jump out their skin when Medkit’s own discarded suit jacket sits up, and out pops a fluffy white head of pink-white hair that grumbles before opening one eye.
“Ahh! It’s evil Medkit!” Rocket tries to run before deciding he can’t ditch Sword. Standing behind him they peer at the indignant Subspace who finally opens his mouth.
“Can you morons shut up?! I just got him to sleep! Phucking- can’t you tell he’s tired!? How will you like it if I keep you chemically awake for 15 days and nights straight, drew your blood—“
“Subspace please stop threatening my adopted family. I wasn’t actually asleep yet.”
“You could have told me that! I gave you my jacket, I even sat still for once! This is so embarrassing. Ugh.”
Rocket, ever a polite young man except when he’s not, starts first “Sorry we disturbed you. We thought it was just Medkit—Uhm… do you guys wanna go join us at Slingshot’s? We always said we’d have a double date when you finally cracked a—“ (ooc but I’m tired and it’s funny ok)
“ME?! WITH HIM?!” They both yelled. “Abso-PHUCKING-lutely NOT!” This accusation outrages Subspace, who storms off in a puff of pink smoke, leaving Medkit rubbing the side that was now colder, being sleeveless and without someone to warm up with.
“Why were you under the romantic tree together then?”
“The what? I was just— we’ve been… using each other as a sleep aid. We just sleep better together. So only when we sleep… do we have a truce. For health reasons. It’s nothing more. Promise.”
“Right. Totally. Because I know loads of people who sleep with their exes…” says Rocket while sword grins and nods.”
“Doesn’t your dad?” Says Medkit back while he stands up and straightens his now ridiculous looking tie.
“MY DAD WHAT?” Yells Rocket. Thus the topic isn’t confronted for another day.
{5} The whole gang!? Drama?! Augh?!
Broker stops his Brokermobile and drops off Scythe and Medkit for the next match, with a dramatic sobbing sound like he’s never going to see either again. While he makes a show of clinging to them, Valk and Dom are presenting concepts for the next Phestival to a small crowd.
“So that’s three votes for Raincoats vs Umbrellas, one for Sigmas vs Alphas—“
An explosion goes off in the corner. Predictably, when the smoke clears, the culprit is Subspace, bullying Roger with tripmines while Rojer watches helplessly. When he breathes in the fumes and begins coughing profusely, Hyperlaser and Vinestaff reach out to try help him, though none are faster than Medkit himself, one hand splayed over the soft internal organs of his worst enemy, but instead focused on patting his back until he stops coughing. In full view of everyone, to various awws and questioning stares, Medkit spins him around, wipes the poison from his lips thoroughly with his sleeve, and cups his cheek as he fixes the gas mask more firmly in place before leaving Subspace standing there eye wide and flushed.
Vinestaff finds her voice first. “Subspace, are you feeling better?”
“… shut up. I’m fine. Why are you all looking at me like that? I accidentally choke on fumes all the time.”
Skateboard decides to look up from his comically sized weed. “Are you and Medkit a thi-“
“Yes-“
“No-“
Soon they devolve into an argument over if they were official or just officially sleeping together… finally Dom just says
“Who wants to do Insomniacs vs Oversleepers for the next phestival? We can all come to work in pyjamas…”
+1 one time they cuddled in secret :D
“Subspace. I know the reason you’re exhausted.” Medkit strides up and leans on the wall, accidentally slipping a little but saving himself by splaying out like a spider
“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do? Give me more meds?” A reasonable assumption considering how many medicines Subspace was probably already on… however he wasn’t technically allowed to prescribe things
‘…no. I was going to propose— forget it. It’s a foolish idea.”
“If you’re admitting it’s stupid it may be one of your good ideas… besides… I’m going to start failing work tests if I keep taking all nighters every night and day.”
“I was thinking we could just call a truce. Just for… the sleeping duration. We never had any problems with sleep when we were still sharing a bunk so…”
“Fine. Mine or yours..?”
“I’m a wanted criminal at yours.”
“Good point… I’ll be there tonight. After dark.”
The first night was awkward but sweet. Medkit opened the door and Subspace came in and changed like he wasn’t even there. Sitting on the bed in pyjamas while Subspace got comfortable, he finally decided to join him. His bed was so much warmer with…no. He couldn’t think that. That would betray every brain cell he’d dedicated to getting over him. So instead of communicating, they held a stalemate. In fluffy pyjamas they lay on opposite sides of the bed watching their old favourite documentary series… until Subspace caved.
“If we’re going to sleep together I need you to be closer to me!”
“That sounds… don’t say that so loud please… I have neighbors.”
“… you know what I mean. Cmon…”
“I move closer if you move closer.”
In five minutes flat, they were curled facing each other, knees brushing, horns just barely touching when one moved. When Medkit moved to link their hands he turned away to hide the blushing. Subspace didn’t even squeeze his hand back. Not because he wouldn’t want to— for was already fast asleep.
<3